We've both dumped each other. How do I help her get over the hurt?

[orlandob]

Well...first off, I'm 21, she's 19. We went out for about a month and a half, but she was really attached to me...like, would really freak out if she wasn't with me and we both had free time. I'm not talking about an evening...we spent basically every night together (we both have classes throughout the day). I'm talking about having like half an hour free and not stopping by her place, that would make her mad. Eventually, I broke it off with her. A week later, she told me that she realized how crazy she had been and that she wanted things to work. We went out again for two weeks, she was a lot better, but then she broke up with me because she wasn't over the hurt yet.

 

That was three weeks ago. Now I miss her terribly. We're still friends, though it can be a little awkward at times, but it's getting better. I've made it known to her that when she's ready, I'd want to go out with her again. She's scared of getting hurt again. What can I do to help my chances?

[Naive]

Well there was obviously a reason why you left her in the 1st place. You are not scared that she will start to get attached to you again? Maybe you should give her space to clear her mind and find a way to be more independent in case you guys get back together.

[Devildog]

Are you sure it is just a matter of her being afraid of getting hurt again? If she was smothering and clingy, and tried to change that, it might be the real problem.

 

Change is hard, and it takes time. She might have been making a very serious effort to change the way she was. She might have just felt overwhelmed with what it was taking to change. It might have been easier just to end the relationship than to try to make that major of a change, especially if the relationship was only a month and half long.

 

Try to be patient with her as she struggles with her changes. If she slips up don't make a huge case out of it.