MOM is still at it

[crepesuzette]

I cannot believe he will not let this go, it has been years. He has put his BW through hell and back, and she continues to stand by him. I give her so much credit as I do my BH , for trying to save their M. I have tried to warn her about what I know, we were "friends" and we have mutual friends that are credible sources. I have realized that as the years go by, my guilt in breaking another M is extremely hard for me to forgive myself for. I am finding that to be one of my biggest hurdles.

 

I now know he is a liar. I never knew that before but now I learned that when he and I first dated over 20 years ago, after I broke up with him, he actually had sex with his closest guy friend's GF, who his friend was COMPLETELY in love with. MOM and his friend where very close and he betrayed his BF by doing this. Isn't that a guy code??? Not to sleep with your best friend's wife/girlfriend? He is SO not what I always believed him to be. He is still meeting up with random women. It makes my stomach turn, how wrong I was and how his wife is oblivious. She is under the impression that he is working hard and has done the work on himself. Horrible, horrible, horrible. There are WS's who get the gift of R from their BS's, but it hurts me terribly when the WS stomps all over that gift and degrades the BS again and again. One DDay is enough, but multiples?? I can't even imagine.

 

He has met up with multiple other women, and he also hit on a different friend of his wife as well. His wife is also very close friends with his BW. That M has since ended because she cheated on her H and the H couldn't deal. That BH is no longer friends with MOM.

 

I look back now, being removed and out of the A for years and I see who he was and still is, but I couldn't see it then. He was actually flirting with me in the hospital when his son was born. He and I walked over to see his son in the nursery and he told me how beautiful I was and how much he was missing me and thinking of me. His BW had just gone through a rough C Section and he said those words to me. We walked back to his BW's room and I watched him go back to her bedside, giving her food, helping her to the bathroom. God, how could I have been so stupid. He was SUCH a good actor. I did reach out to her to apologize for my part in her hurt some months ago, she pretty much spit on my apology and I think I upset her more, which was not my intention. One thing I am glad about is that when she does realize what he is doing, is that she has a good support system in her family, they will be there to help her back up and be there for her every step of the way. She does not deserve this.

 

I have done my work and learned many lessons about myself, my choices and I have made vows to myself, which I work every day not to betray. I will continue to be strong to hope and fix everything my actions broke.