Why would my boyfriend (32) want to seduce my 16 yr old sister????

[emva07]

So for a few months now i've noticed something was off, the other DAY we broke up (for a ton of other reasons) that same day he sent my sister a text saying "hi"...."it's your brother-in-law who loves you very much and i'd love for us to keep in contact" ok so we were all (my other sister and mother) creeped out.

 

So then she showed us one from a few weeks prior where he asked if she had a bf, and wouldn't it feel so good to have a bf (I'm sure that was a sexual comment) then he ended by saying "well if you ever need anything from me, just let me know, i'll be here alone" so of course, she didn't quite understand but was creeped out and didn't say anything.

 

I think as all grown adults on this forum we all know he meant "if you ever feel curious about what sex is like, come on over and i will show you"

 

There were other things that she said that she got a bad vibe from but kept ignoring, and my other sister and my mom and even myself though there was a certain something as well but we just didn't want to think it could be that. My mom said she had become very worried but didn't want to say anything out of fear that i wouldn't believe her and stay with him and just cause them pain so she was just praying that something would happen so that he would be out of our lives, but she wasn't forward bc she said I wouldn't have believed her that it was something I had to figure out on my own but in the meantime she was doing all she could to protect my little sister from ever being alone with him.

 

at 16, your starting womanhood, you're wanting a boyfriend, you believe all that is said to you, so I know he was probably trying to take advantage of the ease in which he'd able to score her. Less work than trying to get with another woman his age, or mine (25) for that matter.

 

Least to say I AM never getting back with him. But how could a man be so sick as to try to seduce a 16 year old who is his girlfriends little sister?? my mother has been so good to him!!! I mean ok I get you're a pig but to cross the boundries of respect and morality????

 

And yes, we have had issues of him fishing for other women before, in retrospect it seems like every woman he ever meets receives these flirty sexual texts from him trying to see what he can get out of them. He always denied it of course, sayiing he would never cheat, and stupid me would always believe him.....BUT MY SISTER?????

[CarrieT]

My ex-brother-in-law did the same thing to me when I was FOURTEEN. He was constantly asking when/if I was sexually active, making excuses to grab my breasts, and hugging me way too hard and way too long.

 

Some guys are creeps that way.

[PlumPrincess]

My ex-brother-in-law did the same thing to me when I was FOURTEEN. He was constantly asking when/if I was sexually active, making excuses to grab my breasts, and hugging me way too hard and way too long.

 

Some guys are creeps that way.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

[emva07]

I think I posted this in teh wrong thread.

[emva07]

at 25, I'm still fertile....and he didn't just do this with my sister, he did it with women of all ages. Mostly late 20s to 30s. I just don't understand why he would cross the boundry of it being my sister.

[EasyHeart]

But how could a man be so sick as to try to seduce a 16 year old who is his girlfriends little sister??

Because he's a man.

 

yw

[ascendotum]

If your basic question is 'Why would my boyfriend want to seduce my 16 yr old sister?'....

we'll she is very likely cute,

and he is horny,

and this guy has no morals & is a bit of low life,

and it seems like he is on the lookout for whatever he can get regardless of if he already getting it,

and he has that connection to her already so is exploiting that.

You wont get too many people here telling you anything different than you already feel.

 

Really, the fact he was fishing for other women while you were in a relationship says a lot about this guy's nature even before your sister entered the equation. The guy is just an opportunist with no care for other people's feelings. You don't send sexy txts to other women while in a relationship because you are what...just a really nice guy who is just cheering these women up by making them feel desired, or its just a bit of harmless fun...nothing will come of it even if they send nude pics back or want to meet up. It is hard to stop that shyte going on behind your back though, but really women are better off cutting their losses on a guy like that even though 'its just a few txts'.

[ChessPieceFace]

How could a man be so sick as to try to seduce a 16 year old who is his girlfriends little sister??

 

People have impulses. Some act on them against the norms of society. The sooner you stop being surprised at what other humans are capable of the better. Just learn how to determine who has a moral center and who doesn't. Extract this guy from your life and probably lower your trust of other people (not just men.) The world isn't a nice place.

[pteromom]

Because he is obviously a person who is out to get what he can for himself, with no thought as to boundaries or how it will make others feel. You already said he has been talking to random girls when he was with you, so why do you think he'd suddenly turn into a decent guy when you break up?

[Simon Phoenix]

I mean, there are some attractive 16-year-olds out there. That being said, there's a difference between seeing a girl that age and saying "damn, she's pretty hot" and actively trying to get with them if you are of adult age. Sometimes you really can't tell how old a girl/woman is until you actually hear them talk. Then it becomes clear and you're like "Welp, see ya later".

 

This guy was already a sketchball before this. This just confirms it. But yeah, for some guys it's as Wooderson said in Dazed and Confused "I love these high school girls man. I get older, they stay the same age."

[Keenly]

Let's start off with the disclaimer, its not morally or ethically or legally right for him to do that. (Depending on when you ask of course)

 

 

You will not like the answer. He would do it simply to prove that he could. Conquest.

[MrNate 2.0]

Just when you think you've seen it all.

 

 

 

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[Red Wolverine]

Remind him 16 will get him 20 (in jail). I'd make sure he's never touched her and make sure to tell him you'll call the police if he ever does.

[nescafe1982]

Wow, I know this might get me flamed, but some of the responses on this thread are pretty horrific. a 32 year old man hitting on the 16 year old little sister of his ex is not "attraction;" it's predation.

 

Block his numbers, and if he persists report him to the police.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Wow, I know this might get me flamed, but some of the responses on this thread are pretty horrific. a 32 year old man hitting on the 16 year old little sister of his ex is not "attraction;" it's predation.

 

Block his numbers, and if he persists report him to the police.

 

 

In many states, boinking a 16 year old is perfectly legal. It's also legal in many, if not most countries. Canada was 14 until 2008.

[Maleficent]

In many states, boinking a 16 year old is perfectly legal. It's also legal in many, if not most countries. Canada was 14 until 2008.

 

It's pretty much legal in a lot of areas...

Still...he's 32, she's 16. In today's society, it's a big ewww factor

[nescafe1982]

In many states, boinking a 16 year old is perfectly legal. It's also legal in many, if not most countries. Canada was 14 until 2008.

 

Really? I have to say I haven't brushed up on statutory laws in some time, but I recall there being a graduated system in many cases (16 was old enough to consent to someone who was within 18months in age, but not a 32 year old). Touche that this is a region-specific case. But ew. ewewewewew.

 

At any rate, if her kid sister is creeped out by this and telling him to stop doesn't work, there might be a possibility for harassment.

 

OP's original question about trying to figure out "why" he's doing this is a lost cause, imo. I agree with Keenly that he's doing it because he can... which makes him really disgusting.

[TB Rhine]

I would warn him about initiating further contact, and if he does contact the police, or at least an attorney who might be able to advise you of the proper steps. At this point he is making (at worst) innuendos, so I doubt there's anything you can really get him on. If he starts making fairly explicit sexual comments, you might be in business, but even most of the guys on To Catch a Predator back in the day barely got a slap on the wrist.

 

Essentially, being creepy, sleazy, or whatever isn't really against the law. Even having sex with a 16 yr old girl may not be against the law, depending on the age of consent laws and whatnot in your state (I think age of consent is usually 16, but with a two- or three-year margin if the girl is under 18 - i.e., it may be illegal to have sex with, or make sexually explicit comments to, someone under 18 if you are older than, say, 20 or 21, but even that I'm not sure of).

 

Do you know any police officers? Even if not, you might be able to get a couple of cops to go over and give the guy a talking-to, maybe get him to sign a cease and desist order saying he won't try to contact her (or you) again. They can't force him to do it, but if he does it may be legally binding, so if he reneges you might be able to hit him with that. Basically, I don't think you have any sure-fire, 'yes this will absolutely take care of the situation' kind of options, but you do have options, and I would start exploring them. And, of course, make sure she keeps all text messages or emails she receives from him from here on out, for documentation purposes.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Really? I have to say I haven't brushed up on statutory laws in some time, but I recall there being a graduated system in many cases (16 was old enough to consent to someone who was within 18months in age, but not a 32 year old). Touche that this is a region-specific case. But ew. ewewewewew.

 

At any rate, if her kid sister is creeped out by this and telling him to stop doesn't work, there might be a possibility for harassment.

 

OP's original question about trying to figure out "why" he's doing this is a lost cause, imo. I agree with Keenly that he's doing it because he can... which makes him really disgusting.

 

 

Harassment and statutory rape are completely different beasts. Harassment could easily apply here, whether she's 16 or 26. But lets not compare him to pedophiles. There's a huge difference between a girl who's 16-17 and one who's 12.

[Simon Phoenix]

Harassment and statutory rape are completely different beasts. Harassment could easily apply here, whether she's 16 or 26. But lets not compare him to pedophiles. There's a huge difference between a girl who's 16-17 and one who's 12.

 

Exactly. What he's doing is sleazy as hell, but he's not a pedophile. Just your everyday piece of sh*t.

[Southern Cal Dude]

There ARE stipulations to these laws, however. If I remember, the one "bonking" the 16 year old teenager cannot be more than 3 or 4 years older than her (I can't remember the exact amount of years older they can be).

 

I would venture to say that some pervert in his 30's is over that limit.

 

 

Not all areas have those stipulations though. And I highly doubt a DA is going to jump at the chance to lock up a guy who slept with a borderline legal girl when there's legit pedophiles who are much more of a threat.

[kaylan]

Womanhood on average starts at 12-13.

That's not why men are naturally attracted to teenagers. It is instinctual and a man's sexual instincts direct him towards the most fertile females.It isn't a question of morality. Nothing in the Bible says thou shall not flirt or bed a 16 year old. Actually wasn't Mary younger than that when she was with Joseph? Weren't most of the women in the Bible having children around that age? It isn't a matter of respect either. He was just talking to her. If he was going to marry her then maybe he should ask for permission. Probably would have to by law.

Im sexually attracted to full mature women. Women in their 20s are a hell of a lot more physically mature than 15/16 yr olds.

 

That said, only a creepy loser tries to go after his gf's kid sister.

[Simon Phoenix]

There ARE stipulations to these laws, however. If I remember, the one "bonking" the 16 year old teenager cannot be more than 3 or 4 years older than her (I can't remember the exact amount of years older they can be).

 

I would venture to say that some pervert in his 30's is over that limit.

 

After doing a quick Wikipedia search, 30 of the 50 states in the US are 16, 9 are 17 and the rest are 18. I did a quick skim, but only Pennsylvania (age of consent 16)has a caveat which a much older person (30s in this case) could get in trouble for having sexual relations with a person that's 16 or 17. Most states have steeper penalties for relations with minors 13 and under than they do with 14 and 15-year-old minors.

 

The only exception to those laws that would get a person in their 30s in trouble is if they are an authority figure (teacher or coach). Otherwise, the exception seem to be "close-in-age" exceptions in some states which allow overage adults to sleep with minors if they are within 3-4 years of each other (18 sleeping with a 15 for example).

 

But yeah, in most of the country, this guy isn't doing anything legally wrong. He's sketchy, but he's not a criminal in most places.

[GorillaTheater]

Poor Emva's got to be wondering what kind of asylum she decided to post in.

 

Do we really care whether it was legal for her d-bag ex to hit on her kid sister?

[SoleMate]

OK, so it's probably not illegal under the criminal law in the US, it's just disgusting, sleazy and gross.

 

And if contact is carried on after the girl says no, then it may cross over into actionable harassment territory.