Re: friends or a little more?

[Tony T]

You really blew it, bub. This girl wants a conquest...a challenge.

 

You could have turned this around in an absolute INSTANT if you had rejected her advances very cooly. Yet, you gave in like a wimp...and then you accepted her extremely LAME crap about this being a test.

 

What she was looking for was for you to give her a run for her money. Any girl will have a guy for a friend when she knows she can have him any old time. You are a dead giveaway. She already knows you are hers at the snap of a finger. It's not going to be a happneing thing for you...unless she tests you again.

 

This chick is pretty slick. She may or may not do more testing. But if she makes a pass, just move on like you didn't even notice. She will gradually come on stronger and stronger. Each time she does this and you are very cool about changing the direction, she will actually want you more.

 

If you give in to her, she will have absolutely no desire for you whatsoever. That will just be too easy.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't call her for a while and I would make up excuses not to see her very often when she calls. Be elusive, make her die to be with you. If you jump to attention every time she wants to do something, you will be of no romantic interest to her whatsoever. But use your head here. See her sometimes and be cool...and avoid her sometimes...just don't make it look like you are avoiding her...make her think you are just busy with other things.

 

This is pretty basic stuff here. You better learn about this or you will end up having a lot of lady friends and no lover.

 

Start paying attention!!!

[.]

You people aren't talking about love, you are talking about seduction and lust. Snap out of it. Look at the title of the web page. It's loveshack, not lustshack.

[Paulie]

OK, Tony I'm TOTALLY with you here. This guy better learn this stuff, and I'm sure he will.

 

But, after a girl professes her undying love for a guy, etc, etc, and it's time to remove the "false masks," false pretenses, etc...then is it ok to tell her she can have you anytime, etc...if that's how you really feel about her?

 

I mean, sure, in this guy's case, they're in the initial game-playing stage. But after a while, shouldn't there be some sort of a progression to something more genuine, more real? Or maybe there always needs to be a certain degree of not showing all your cards? I certainly hope that in the closest of relationships, there is this possibility.

 

This is relevant to this young man's post, however, because many become jaded to the idea of falling in love by becoming closed to the idea of opening up to someone else. There is a definite game to be played, but I'm curious what people think.

[Tony T]

This girl is playing games in a very major way. She is jerking James around. She is either very immature, very sadistic, very ignorant, or extremely sharp.

 

On the other hand, James HAS NOT PAID ATTENTION. By announcing she only wanted to be friends, she was basically telling him that's all she wanted. By announcing these kissing sessions were just a "test", she showed she's a little touched in the head.

 

The ONLY way you can win a chick that immature, if that's what you actually want, is the way I said in my original post. When a woman starts treating you as if you are a dirtbag dummy, you have to meet that head on.

 

It is certainly rational and stands to reason that in a healthy relationship, game playing is minimized and you can be honest and forthright with your deepest thoughts. We don't even have to go into that further. The case here does not qualify.

 

Right now, James is in a very sick, very morbid situation. Unless he uses major strategies, this will always remain a friendship...and, by the way, it sounds like even a friendship with this particular girl would be a heinously sick one that would keep Jame's emotions on a roller coaster until he wised up.

 

I personally think this girl is mean spirited, cruel, and deceitful to use these kinds of "tests" on a guy she already knows likes her more than a friend. She is also using him to masturbate her ego. I don't think she's worth having as a friend, much less a girlfriend. I personally wouldn't give her a minute of my time.

 

Any man who will stand by while a girl continuously "tests" him in this fashion is a first class wimp. It should NOT be tolerated, from a friend or anyone else. This kind of stuff should only happen in an insane asylum.

 

Yes, relationships that are two-way, healthy, sharing, without games, open, etc., are ideal. Found one yet???

[Tony T]

Your post is without meaning here. The original poster has a legitimate concern and it very much has to do with love, lust or whatever. Topics of lust fall into the range of love problems when people can't tell one from the other. And we are open minded enough here that we consider lots of questions, about sex, health, family disputes and LUST.

 

Love is about a whole lot more than two people who are dating or married.

 

You made your post using the name "." (a period). Is there a significance to that?

[James]

Thanks for the advice.

 

I'm not going to bother to call her and just let things be. Sure if she calls I'll talk to her. Testing me in this way I've never been subjected to before(I got to start looking at these situations more to react to them properly).

 

I can see now that showing her that I like her puts me in a more vulnerable situation and that she has control over this situation. I felt disappointed about these tests and will give it more consideration regarding if she's worth it or not.

This girl is playing games in a very major way. She is jerking James around. She is either very immature, very sadistic, very ignorant, or extremely sharp. On the other hand, James HAS NOT PAID ATTENTION. By announcing she only wanted to be friends, she was basically telling him that's all she wanted. By announcing these kissing sessions were just a "test", she showed she's a little touched in the head. The ONLY way you can win a chick that immature, if that's what you actually want, is the way I said in my original post. When a woman starts treating you as if you are a dirtbag dummy, you have to meet that head on. It is certainly rational and stands to reason that in a healthy relationship, game playing is minimized and you can be honest and forthright with your deepest thoughts. We don't even have to go into that further. The case here does not qualify. Right now, James is in a very sick, very morbid situation. Unless he uses major strategies, this will always remain a friendship...and, by the way, it sounds like even a friendship with this particular girl would be a heinously sick one that would keep Jame's emotions on a roller coaster until he wised up. I personally think this girl is mean spirited, cruel, and deceitful to use these kinds of "tests" on a guy she already knows likes her more than a friend. She is also using him to masturbate her ego. I don't think she's worth having as a friend, much less a girlfriend. I personally wouldn't give her a minute of my time. Any man who will stand by while a girl continuously "tests" him in this fashion is a first class wimp. It should NOT be tolerated, from a friend or anyone else. This kind of stuff should only happen in an insane asylum. Yes, relationships that are two-way, healthy, sharing, without games, open, etc., are ideal. Found one yet???

[Deejette]

Frankly, when I read your post, I thought she sounded like an immature tease with all that "testing." This is not the way a sincere perso behaves.

Thanks for the advice. I'm not going to bother to call her and just let things be. Sure if she calls I'll talk to her. Testing me in this way I've never been subjected to before(I got to start looking at these situations more to react to them properly). I can see now that showing her that I like her puts me in a more vulnerable situation and that she has control over this situation. I felt disappointed about these tests and will give it more consideration regarding if she's worth it or not.

[What's your point, dot?]

does it really matter? snap out of it and stop being so trivial. if someone wants a little advice, they have every right to go to whatever website they want.

You people aren't talking about love, you are talking about seduction and lust. Snap out of it. Look at the title of the web page. It's loveshack, not lustshack.