The fact is that good-looking people find love more easily

[thefooloftheyear]

Its not all hearts and flowers for the "chosen ones" either...

 

A truly attractive woman probably has a hard time...Sure, she can find a sex partner in any swinging dick on the street, but a lot of guys are going to be intimidated by that type of woman..

 

TFY

[iris219]

I think average looking people have it easiest because there are so many average looking people out there to choose from.

 

A good looking person is more likely to hold out for another good looking person.

[tbf]

What really sucks is being a guy and knowing women who are attractive and like hanging around you because of your personality, but won't ever date you because they wouldn't like being seen hitched to you due to you being short or otherwise unattractive.

How tragic, being liked for your personality. Sucks to be you.

[ThaWholigan]

I understand your frustration - even though I think you're focusing on something external that won't serve you and your mindset, I get that better looking people tend to or at the very least seem to have umpteen options for dates compared to others. It's something I came to grips with in general, but I have been in different social circles where the not-so-attractive guys had lots of options.

 

I take more issue with your assertion that 99% of the battle is initial attraction - you underestimate how much work goes into post-initial attraction as well as the relationship itself.

 

Nonetheless, you might not want to dwell on the whole "good-looking" thing. There are ways you can augment yourself, albeit not entirely, but can also lend you some kind of happiness with your appearance. You should try to be bold with more girls, assuming you aren't already.

[Phoe]

I can't get dates to save my life.

 

Given the above statement, people might assume I'm ugly then... but I don't consider myself ugly. *shrug*

[ForeverAlone28]

Or he got to know her as a complete individual and desired more than just her body.

 

No.. they usually have nothing going for them upstairs, either.

[ForeverAlone28]

No.. they usually have nothing going for them upstairs, either.

 

Then again, I like these guys, and if they were dating a super model, I'd probably have the same opinion. But, at least I'd feel like they were in their league and I'd have some competition. Choosing the girls they choose over me is just insulting.

[Revolver]

There's lots of attractive people who aren't in love and never have been.

 

However I do agree that the better looking a person is the bigger dating pool they have which will lead to more opportunities to find that special person

[MissBee]

Attracting more people doesn't mean all the people you attract are compatible with you.

 

Money, looks, all that don't hurt, but when it comes on to love, ugly, pretty, handsome, rich and poor experience heartbreaks and finding it difficult to genuinely find love.

 

Pretty women have more men asking them out or hot guys may get more play but it doesn't mean you find genuine relationships any more easily, as it's not only a numbers game.

[sweetkiwi]

I agree that compatible personalities are what ultimately cement a relationship. However, you have a better chance of finding someone with a compatible personality if you're good-looking, because you get around more. I don't sympathize at all with people who are good-looking and complain that they can, with no effort at all, get countless dates and one-night stands with sexually attractive people, but haven't yet found one who seems like long-term relationship material. Yeah, what a terrible problem to have. Wouldn't that be awful to be a tall, handsome (and/or rich) guy who has women swooning over him 24/7, who is just having trouble finding one worth settling down with. 99% of the work of finding a romantic partner is getting them attracted to you in the first place. What really sucks is being a guy and knowing women who are attractive and like hanging around you because of your personality, but won't ever date you because they wouldn't like being seen hitched to you due to you being short or otherwise unattractive.

 

On behalf of all professionally good looking people-

 

I am sorry.

[TheAlchemist]

My brother is 32 years old, who I shall add is brilliant and very handsome. He has it all. He has a condo on the beach, has 8 pack abs, is intelligent, drives a Porsche, and he is an Orthopedic Surgeon. He has had girls falling over him, but guess what..its so hard for him to find a person that he is truly compatible with. As a successful young professional, he needs someone who is just as motivated in their own lives and is truly independent. His biggest problem in finding the "right" one? Trying to decipher who wants him for his money and who wants him for who he is.

 

I totally reject the notion that being "good- looking" brings happiness and love in your life. Just because you attract many women, doesnt mean that they are all meant for you. Finding a partner who is compatible is not an easy feat whether you're good looking or not.

 

FYI, I know more average/ugly guys with gorgeous women around their arms then "good looking guys". Trust me, confidence, intelligence, and humor is sexier in the long run than looking like Hugh Jackman. Although, being a badass Australian can't hurt your chances..

[iKING]

I can't get dates to save my life.

 

Given the above statement, people might assume I'm ugly then... but I don't consider myself ugly. *shrug*

 

You're definitely not ugly Phoe, OP is just making blanket assumptions, don't worry.

[hotpotato]

Uh, no.

 

I have a lot of guys chasing me, but they are only after one thing. Having an abundance of sexual ops (really most women have this) doesnt mean one has increased prospects of finding love.

[iKING]

I hate to use such a cliche saying here, but they say love is blind.

[mesmerized]

OP has a good point, don't know why everyone is denying it. A man is much more likely to "fall in love" with a gorgeous girl than an average looking or ugly one. Now you might say that's not love, it's lust. And I have to say there is a fine line between these two sometimes when it comes to men and even sometimes women.

[MissBee]

Uh, no.

 

I have a lot of guys chasing me, but they are only after one thing. Having an abundance of sexual ops (really most women have this) doesnt mean one has increased prospects of finding love.

 

Ditto.

 

I feel like I get asked out fairly regularly, but most are men I'm not interested in, or who just want to have sex and not a relationship, or if we go out, it's cool, but it doesn't go anywhere.

 

If you get asked out 10 times a week, chances are at least 8/10 of these people won't be a match for you or it won't work out or turn into anything significant. So yea, if you're attractive you will have lots more options for people wanting to sleep with you or to take you out, but not necessarily more chances of having something meaningful and lasting.

[GoodOnPaper]

99% of the work of finding a romantic partner is getting them attracted to you in the first place.

 

I'm with you on this but it appears that we are in a small minority. I'm surprised at all the angst concerning compatibility. For me, the initial meeting/attraction stage was always a major pain in the neck. My lifetime number of first dates is in single digits . . . but over half of them turned into exclusive relationships. Compatibility stuff always worked itself out. Maybe one's compatibility radar is sharper when there aren't a lot of pheromones floating around, I don't know.

 

I guess there is a symmetry to things. Those of us with few/no options overthink attraction while many people with lots of options seem to overthink compatibility.

[CrystalCastles]

Actually I'm going to say exactly what you're annoyed about, OP.

 

A friend (who is also a coworker) is married. His wife wears glasses that magnify her eyes by A LOT, she is in her late 20s and has obvious wrinkles on her face, plus very visible facial hair. But she's super sweet, funny and easy to talk to. He's happily married and is obviously very in love with her. So looks mean diddly-squat.

 

I suppose I'm one of those annoying people you're talking about. I get a lot of comments from men about how good looking I am, I get male attention very very easily, guys check me out on public transit, come and talk to me (not creepy guys, but guys my age- early 20s). Yet I have difficulty finding a steady guy. So, I'd be one of those "good looking" people who cannot find love easily. Yeah I can get a ONS NO PROBLEMOS. That means nothing though. I don't care about getting attention from men who only want an ONS because that's not what I'm looking for. Male attention gives you an ego boost and that's about it.

 

My friend who is very attractive, gets hit on by guys all the time, has never had a bf. Well, she sort of had one for 2 months and dumped him because he didn't respect her boundaries. Looks can get you men, but they don't guarantee that those men will stick around.

[tbf]

Whoah, how exciting! I can attract a million salmon. But I don't want to bang or partner with a salmon. Don't even like fresh salmon, preferring lox, smoked salmon and even canned.

 

Understand?

[Lani]

Whoah, how exciting! I can attract a million salmon. But I don't want to bang or partner with a salmon. Don't even like fresh salmon, preferring lox, smoked salmon and even canned.

 

Understand?

 

I don't like seafood at all

[iKING]

Whoah, how exciting! I can attract a million salmon. But I don't want to bang or partner with a salmon. Don't even like fresh salmon, preferring lox, smoked salmon and even canned.

 

Understand?

 

Yeah well maybe you should just enjoy whatever kind of salmon flops into your mouth.

[TheGuard13]

I look at it this way:

 

Good looking people have more luck finding people who are lusting after them. That's not love.

 

Many of them however, lack personalities and social skills, so many of them also have a harder time keeping those people or finding "love".

 

It's not just a case of looks when it comes to a longterm relationship. Most of the time. If it is, it's likely not a very good or complete relationship.

[man_in_the_box]

What really sucks is being a guy and knowing women who are attractive and like hanging around you because of your personality, but won't ever date you because they wouldn't like being seen hitched to you due to you being short or otherwise unattractive.

 

Well then lower your standards. Yes, the world isn't fair, get over yourself.

[Revolver]

OP has a good point, don't know why everyone is denying it. A man is much more likely to "fall in love" with a gorgeous girl than an average looking or ugly one. Now you might say that's not love, it's lust. And I have to say there is a fine line between these two sometimes when it comes to men and even sometimes women.

 

Yeah i don't know why people are being so PC

[PlumPrincess]

Ditto.

 

I feel like I get asked out fairly regularly, but most are men I'm not interested in, or who just want to have sex and not a relationship, or if we go out, it's cool, but it doesn't go anywhere.

 

If you get asked out 10 times a week, chances are at least 8/10 of these people won't be a match for you or it won't work out or turn into anything significant. So yea, if you're attractive you will have lots more options for people wanting to sleep with you or to take you out, but not necessarily more chances of having something meaningful and lasting.

At least you get asked out 10 times. A less attractive person won't considered 10 times a week for a date, maybe just every couple of weeks. And let's assume the success rate is the same 8/10 as in your example, who do think will find the right match faster - the good-looking person or the less attractive person?

 

Another example - height: A lot of women here are quite set up on height, so, looks can be definitely a dealbreaker. It doesn't mean a short guy will never find someone, but all the compatible women who have expectations about height, will not be the one for him or he will have to work much harder to overcome this obstacle. On the other hand, a tall guy, if he is not freakishly tall guy, can have his pick with most compatible women.

 

I think the greatest problem with having problems finding a relationship are personal issues and unrealistic expectations. The plain Joe and Jane strives for a good-looking guy/women, the good-looking ones strive for someone even better looking.