OLD = Completely Pointless

[Knoxpwns]

I started dabbling with OLD just to try to get myself out there and talking to people. I decked out a profile on a site, and started off feeling really good about myself just because I was reaching out and talking to people.

 

Until I realized absolutely nobody will respond for any reason whatsoever.

 

I take the time to really read through profiles. if I see I have a LOT in common with them (some of them we have so much in common it's borderline insanity) I will write them a message asking some questions about some of their stuff, letting them know what silly stuff in their profile made me laugh, and pretty much ending it off wanting to talk to them more for the sole purpose of getting to know them a bit better.

 

 

So pretty much I have realized that OLD is this humiliating event where men meander up to women like a court jester, and go "May I entertain you, my lord?" followed by us doing a short jig, and without a mere glance they wave their hand and we are thrown to the pits....

 

This is of course, you fit what they want, which is always COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. ALL women on OLD sites want 9-10/10, ripped, 6'4+ guys that never want sex (unless they want it), don't watch sports, don't play video games, cooks, cleans, etc...

 

Pretty much, they are looking for a Nanny/Housemaid that looks like a taller, younger George Clooney that does exactly what they want them to.

 

Even the women that are physically a solid 3-5/10 expect ALL these qualifiers, not just some. It makes literally 0 sense whatsoever....

 

/rant

 

TL;DR - OLD seems pretty much pointless. Have any GUYS had success stories on them?

[Emilia]

Your mistake is to believe what you read in those profiles is reality. You write to them on that basis. Some people make stuff up, others just have no idea. I'd say a huge % of people on OLD have absolutely no idea how they are perceived in real life, which is why it's a complete waste of time.

[HumptyDumpty]

It is pointless in my opinion. That's why I don't use it! As simple as that

[Knoxpwns]

The other thing that is blowing my mind here is women's logic behind messages.

 

They do realize there are tons of dudes out there that are sending out blanket spam letters to every single person because its quicker, and considering most all of them have learned the likelihood to you reading their spam is pretty much dead-on par with the likelihood you will read their custom tailored message directly to you.

 

Pretty much, you expect every guy to REALLY put some effort into it, and if he does, it doesn't matter because you won't read it anyway. LOL!

 

 

Man, I really suck getting out in the real world and meeting new people, but this OLD is a fracking joke.

 

 

Sorry for the rants. I'm just venting because I feel like I've wasted a ton of time. How wasting more on a forum to complain about the time I wasted isn't a waste of time in itself is beyond me.

[Emilia]

People don't owe you relationships and dates. If you can't be bothered to brush up on your social skills and get out more then it's your problem.

[Knoxpwns]

People don't owe you relationships and dates. If you can't be bothered to brush up on your social skills and get out more then it's your problem.

 

And where did you see I expected a date? Honestly, I don't even expect to get through chatting. Really, I'm not even there for a date (Although I wouldn't turn it down if something happened) I'm more looking for some cool people and wouldn't mind making new friends.

 

It seems like people on those sites are super jaded.

[HumptyDumpty]

People don't owe you relationships and dates. If you can't be bothered to brush up on your social skills and get out more then it's your problem.

 

Exactly! I think the real people worth a relationship aren't in your computer but out there living their lives in this moment!

I quickly learnt the fact that the guys on dating sites aren't my type of guys, I deleted accounts and try my luck out there!

 

There's no point having a debate over this, there a people who like it, others that don't, so you either use it or leave it, simple as that! But useless to write an essay about the behaviors you encounter on those websites, it's not representing how real people think and act, just a bunch of bored people searching for a quick f*

[hppr]

I started dabbling with OLD just to try to get myself out there and talking to people. I decked out a profile on a site, and started off feeling really good about myself just because I was reaching out and talking to people.

 

Until I realized absolutely nobody will respond for any reason whatsoever.

 

I take the time to really read through profiles. if I see I have a LOT in common with them (some of them we have so much in common it's borderline insanity) I will write them a message asking some questions about some of their stuff, letting them know what silly stuff in their profile made me laugh, and pretty much ending it off wanting to talk to them more for the sole purpose of getting to know them a bit better.

 

 

So pretty much I have realized that OLD is this humiliating event where men meander up to women like a court jester, and go "May I entertain you, my lord?" followed by us doing a short jig, and without a mere glance they wave their hand and we are thrown to the pits....

 

This is of course, you fit what they want, which is always COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. ALL women on OLD sites want 9-10/10, ripped, 6'4+ guys that never want sex (unless they want it), don't watch sports, don't play video games, cooks, cleans, etc...

 

Pretty much, they are looking for a Nanny/Housemaid that looks like a taller, younger George Clooney that does exactly what they want them to.

 

Even the women that are physically a solid 3-5/10 expect ALL these qualifiers, not just some. It makes literally 0 sense whatsoever....

 

/rant

 

TL;DR - OLD seems pretty much pointless. Have any GUYS had success stories on them?

 

Look,

 

The rules are different for men and women online.

 

First off Online Dating is all about your pic. Second of all your description must be interesting, meaning fun and easy to read but still vague enough to appeal to a large number of women.

 

Most guys (me included) have a hard time with both of those. We don't take the greatest of pics and when it's time to write the description we either get too detailed or full of cliches and bad jokes.

 

Women can get away with more simply because there are more guys vs. girls online, about 3:1 to 7:1 depending on location but the above still holds somewhat true.

 

Alright, so now you have a good profile with nice pics and a fun and easy to read description. Therefore, it's time to find out how much of a PITA it is to talk to women on the internet.

 

Most of the women who reply to your emails won't end up being dates for one reason or another. You will experience lots of contacts that start off very well and then fizzle rapidly because the person on the other end of the line is a nut, or married, or just there for the attention fix.

 

Eventually you will talk to girls who actually want to meet you - they may still be flakes and nuts - but they will agree to a date. So then you meet up in person somewhere public and afterward probably have a whole new 'WTF' story to tell.

 

When you add all this up...the only logical solution is to either not date online at all...or use it very casually, like log on once a week, send some messages and not care if you get a response. Otherwise it is a waste of time that you could be spending in real life actually meeting women instead of getting your hopes up over a flake.

 

Can you really, honestly meet people online? Friends of mine have met their significant others online. So I guess it can happen. However I think that if you have a penis you are infinitely better dating in real life vs the internet.

[hppr]

They do realize there are tons of dudes out there that are sending out blanket spam letters to every single person because its quicker

 

That was how I got all my dates.

 

Read my post particularly the part about 'it's all about your pic'.

 

They don't care what you have to say only what you look like. Women won't admit this, they'll swear up and down that they like a good description and want to meet someone with whom they have things in common or whatever...but it's bull. They want a cute guy just like guys want a cute girl.

 

Therefore you are better off spamming one-liner jokes, happy faces, whatever then you are reading her profile and trying to see if you have anything in common.

 

Once you realize this your online dating success rate will go up immensely.

[Disillusioned]

Well DUH... how many times do some people need to be hit over the head with a cluebat? OLD only benefits the people who run the sites, and there's no way in hell any of them would ever use OLDSs.

[Socks At Play]

Yep, it's pointless.

 

I think for the typical heterosexual guy, online dating is nothing more than a way to get depressed. The ratios are just too tilted in the favor of the women on the sites. Many women get inundated daily with attention from new guys of varying qualities, and any thoughtful message I compose gets the same weight as "'sup" in the woman's mailbox.

 

I tried OK Cupid for a few months and it was a waste of time. Few women would respond to messages and I found zero that had any interest in meeting up offline. In searches I found that most profiles appeared to be up for months on end, which meant to me these women were either dormant, weren't taking it seriously, bogus, or held standards which were incredibly warped versus what they brought to the table themselves.

 

Going on what Emilia said, I agree that it seems most profiles consist primarily of garbage. Activities I suspect women do once or twice or a year get listed as hobbies. Everybody is so afraid of coming off as "boring" so whatever they really are passionate about doesn't come through. (Or rather, they're passionate about absolutely nothing.) Then there are the "I like everything" types. Really, you like all music? So when I throw on Wagner's Tristan and Isolde, you're going to mindgasm over the Tristan chord as much as I do? Riiiight...

 

The bottom line is that my lack of success in online dating was negatively affecting my offline approaches. It was ****ing up my self-confidence. Women certainly don't owe me a response to an approach, but when I do it offline I can usually at the very least get some version of "no." Online I can't even expect that. I don't want to subject myself to that.

[Phoe]

TL;DR - OLD seems pretty much pointless. Have any GUYS had success stories on them?

 

My cousin met his wife on OLD.

 

 

They're both not exactly good looking. She's 6'1 and very overweight, he's a bit shorter and the skinniest man you ever saw, balding, and a complete nerd. They're both lovely people, intelligent, but both SUCKED in the dating world. They met on OLD. They went on one date and immediately sparked. I remember at their wedding her best friend commented how after coming home from that first date she immediately called up said best friend and said "I just had the most amazing date. I think he's the one..." and my uncle commented on how he had never seen my cousin ever be so happy in his life. He was always smiling, because of her. They are the happiest little married couple I've ever seen and have the sweetest little daughter together who is the light of their lives.

 

 

OLD works when people go in for the right reason and with the right expecations.

[soccerrprp]

Some of these comments are irrationally pathetic. OLD works for lots of people. Maybe not most, but there are OBVIOUS success stories to be told. I ONLY OLD and have had my fair share of dates, relationships. Nothing has panned out (ye), but I am nowhere near discouraged by using OLD. Even if you do it the old-fashioned way, you are not guaranteed to find the proverbial "one."

 

I have met some amazing women OLD and still friends with some of them. I know people who use it with success (if dating is the purpose and still looking...). Nothing is guaranteed, not even if you do it face-2-face, bar-hopping (ugh), at work (ugh, again), etc.

 

It's not for everyone, but it certainly isn't as bad as some make it out to be.

[Weezy1973]

I'm an average looking guy, below average height, below average income for my area and have had no problems getting dates through OLD. I find it's a good way to meet new people, but the chances of meeting someone you have long term potential with are pretty slim.

[El Brujo]

A couple of years ago, I put a couple of fake female profiles on OLD. Yes, "she" got inundated with dozens of messages a day from horny men who typed like they had the brains of a preschooler and were dying for a sex fix.

 

I can understand how any woman who's even reasonably attractive would get tired of it in 5 minutes... I wouldn't want a bunch of tongue-lolling lechers chasing after me.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I'm a short good-looking guy with way above average income. I don't have trouble dating IRL (when I'm actually trying, which is rarely).

 

I'm terrible at OLD.

 

Though, I did create a fake profile with a tall, good-looking, muscular guy as the default. He did better than me lol.

[KathyM]

I know several people who have found their spouse or SO through online dating. It works for a lot of people. I recently saw Match.com claim their users are 3X more likely to find a relationship than people who don't use them. I'm not sure where they came up with that figure, but I do know people who have met their SO on Match.com.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I know several people who have found their spouse or SO through online dating. It works for a lot of people. I recently saw Match.com claim their users are 3X more likely to find a relationship than people who don't use them. I'm not sure where they came up with that figure, but I do know people who have met their SO on Match.com.

 

This is true for women.

 

As a guy, you have to be of perfect looks with an insanely witty personality to boot.

[KathyM]

This is true for women.

 

As a guy, you have to be of perfect looks with an insanely witty personality to boot.

Not really. I know several guys who have gotten plenty of dates through OLD, and some even found their spouse or long-time girlfriend through OLD. One guy is attractive, but the others were just average looking or not even that. Women consider the whole package. Granted the best looking men and women will have the most success, but there are plenty of average looking people who have had success from OLD also.

[Nik1]

I don't know... I've been exhausting my resources on POF and I've had some pretty entertaining conversations. But I noticed a pattern, they stopped talking to me once they viewed my profile. This is leading me to believe that people have been lying to me about my looks.

[Maleficent]

It's just as ridiculous for women.

 

Once I created a profile looking for a fwb. My picture had my head cut off and centered on my chest ( I was wearing clothes, mind you.

 

I spent two days doing nothing but answering emails, getting sexy cam shows and pictures of penis (es?)

 

Men I originally sent emails to 'get to know them better' that remained unanswered were now sending me messages and at least half of those were trying to make it look like they had seen something interesting in my profile beyond fwb and boobs.

 

It's just as ridiculous for us.

[hppr]

It's just as ridiculous for women.

 

Once I created a profile looking for a fwb. My picture had my head cut off and centered on my chest ( I was wearing clothes, mind you.

 

I spent two days doing nothing but answering emails, getting sexy cam shows and pictures of penis (es?)

 

Men I originally sent emails to 'get to know them better' that remained unanswered were now sending me messages and at least half of those were trying to make it look like they had seen something interesting in my profile beyond fwb and boobs.

 

It's just as ridiculous for us.

 

LULZ

 

You created a profile advertising free sex on the internet what the hell did you expect?

[Imported]

So I finally kinda tried "OLD" sorta. I saw a profile for a girl that was very attractive just from photos. Nice face, body, skin and smile. However, I was over the age she wanted and I am not white...like she wanted, nor was I the religion she wanted and I am not 6'2"+ (she is 5'4'"!!) according to her profile. But I recognized from her pics and her description of her work.....where she works. Yep. I went down there Had to give it a shot. She is a hostess at a pretty cool restaurant. And I went there by myself. Ordered a "tuna sandwhich, no crust" (one of her favorite movies is fast and furious) as she was seating me. She did not connect on it. Just told me she'll go get my waitress. The waitress told me, it's not on the menu, but they could make it. It was actually a very good sandwhich and I don't even like tuna. They flourished it and added a bunch of other things to it. And cut off the crust. I might just have to go back there and get that sandwhich again.

[Maleficent]

LULZ

 

You created a profile advertising free sex on the internet what the hell did you expect?

 

well duh.

 

I'm just showing the difference between looking for date VS looking for casual sex on OLDS as a woman.

 

...

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I started dabbling with OLD just to try to get myself out there

 

 

 

This sounds oxymoronic.

 

You started dabbling with OLD because it is much easier than is getting yourself out there.

 

 

When confronted in person by a tall or short woman with big boobs or small boobs you are indeed "out there" and forced to deal with it. When you're at home in front of the net, you merely push 'next', and another random pair of boobs wander onto your screen (even though you have no finite personal criteria by which you rejected that first woman's height or her chest size).