Crazy_Love Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 After two years of daily contact, spending 8 hours a day, five days a week together, plus weekends hanging out and texting constantly when not together, I expected NC to be hard but not this hard. I can't grieve openly and I feel non functional. Please tell me it gets better? The only consolation I have is that I finally did the right thing but the thought of years ahead of loneliness in a loveless marriage doesnt help. And no, I can't divorce and shatter my kids lives and yes, I've spent the better part of my marriage in counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Crazy_Love Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 As for the withdrawal from constant texting, detaching yourself from your phone helps a little. Turn it off, put it away, whatever. Just keep it away from you during the weekends. Do you still work with MM? Why did things end? Sorry you are hurting, and yes it will get better but it will take a lot of time. I never worked with him though we are in the same field. No, since I worked from home and he is a graduate student, it was time that we chose to spend with each other. We got on perfectly and I love him very much. I ended it because I knew (he never said otherwise) that he'd never leave his wife for me and as time went on she and I became friends, it just got too complicated and I was unhappy and guilty. So I ended it and it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do (and I've survived cancer, which wasn't nearly half as hard but I also had him by my side). Our relationship was never secret, we were best friends, just the other part of it was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Crazy_Love Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 Also, I dont think divorcing from a loveless marriage will shatter kids lives. yes it will be extremely difficult for them, but I am of the mindset that growing up in a household with parents who dont love each other is more damaging than divorce. And i speak as both a child of divorce, and a adult divorcee with small child. Ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness. If staying in the loveless marriage is what you intend to do, you may very well never be happy. How is that good for your children? I have resigned myself to faking happiness for my kids. I've done it for 16 years, I can do it for a few more. They are happy, that's what counts. My husband and I don't fight and I care about him but he stopped everything as soon as we got married and is incapable of love towards me. So we live peacefully, but I am lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
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