So is this it, huh

[Ryan R.]

I've been asking myself this question a lot recently. I've been reevaluating my life. Moved from my hometown in New Hampshire and got a job in New York. I now live with my good friend and roommate in a nice apartment in Manhattan. We're able to afford it because he works at a great job and so I do. I guess I can't complain, I make good money but I only really got this job because of my dad's connections. I make well above an entry level salary and I can easily afford things in this city. It's nice to get away from the parents, which is the only thing I can say that is largely positive about the move.

 

Lately, I find myself wondering if it was all really worth it. Getting the grades in school, graduating from college, doing that extra 10 or 20% that I really need to get ahead. At the end of the day, I'm still who I am, I haven't made that much progress in much of anything. I sometimes take walks around the city but I still feel as if I'm locked into a life I don't really care for. Beyond work, there's not much else that makes me feel great. I play some guitar and piano, I watch some movies on Netflix, I play catch in Central Park with one of my friends from college. I'm still as sexually attractive as a used dishrag to girls.

 

It's like I envision the future and I see just a large expanse of monotony, unhappiness, and chronic feelings of inadequacy. Still, I guess its better than the alternative.

[FitChick]

I'm still as sexually attractive as a used dishrag to girls.

If you are talking about your physical appearance, you seem to have the means to change that, whether it's hiring a personal trainer, nutritionist, fashion consultant, plastic surgeon, dermatologist, top hairdresser, etc.

[Ryan R.]

If you are talking about your physical appearance, you seem to have the means to change that, whether it's hiring a personal trainer, nutritionist, fashion consultant, plastic surgeon, dermatologist, top hairdresser, etc.

 

Personally, I think I've maximized my physical appearance. I wear great clothes. I have a good haircut. I am 6 foot. I have an almost blemish-free face. I'd rather not get plastic surgery. It is what it is, I just need to learn to live with it.

[SuperGeek]

Please stop feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I am not 6 foot and there is no magical surgery that I could get to ever make me taller. Women who need a taller guy will NEVER date me. I grew up poor. I put myself through college. I had to earn all my jobs on my own the hard way. I had no extra help come my way. My family hindered me and hasn't helped me.

 

Guys like you who are given so much and don't even realize it piss me off.

 

Be thankful for what you have been given on this planet. Many of us start out with a much smaller hand than you got.

 

Personally, I think I've maximized my physical appearance. I wear great clothes. I have a good haircut. I am 6 foot. I have an almost blemish-free face. I'd rather not get plastic surgery. It is what it is, I just need to learn to live with it.

Edited August 17, 2013 by SuperGeek

[Ryan R.]

Please stop feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I am not 6 foot and there is no magical surgery that I could get to ever make me taller. Women who need a taller guy will NEVER date me. I grew up poor. I put myself through college. I had to earn all my jobs on my own the hard way. I had no extra help come my way. My family hindered me and hasn't helped me.

 

Guys like you who are given so much and don't even realize it piss me off.

 

Be thankful for what you have been given on this planet. Many of us start out with a much smaller hand than you got.

 

I guess you didn't read my last sentence.

[M30USA]

He needs confidence, I can hear it in that post.

 

Actually, I think he's asking some critically important questions. Mike, if you continue to ask these questions and pray to God for direction, you are well on your way to being used by him for good things. There is so much "noise" in society and people usually get lost in it. You seem to be discovering that this "noise" isn't what it's all about. There's more to this life than what our society would have you believe. You're on the right path. Better to be broken and lost in pursuit of the truth than confident and on top of the world while not pursuing the truth. God can use people like you. Don't listen to the people who just say to ignore these "negative" feelings. They'll tell you to just shuffle along now, shuffle along now. Ignore them.

[New User]

First world problems.

[ScreamingTrees]

First world problems.

 

Honestly, who gives a ****? Didn't even read the OP, but, who cares? Most if not all of the problems on this site might as well be first-world pettiness. They're still issues that weight on the people having them.

 

Are we all contractually obligated to not take our existences for granted?

 

If you're so high and mighty, why the hell aren't you flying to some dingy poor ****hole in an underdeveloped country to help for the greater good? The only time you probably have ever even considered that was to look down upon someone else, like right now.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I've been asking myself this question a lot recently. I've been reevaluating my life. Moved from my hometown in New Hampshire and got a job in New York. I now live with my good friend and roommate in a nice apartment in Manhattan. We're able to afford it because he works at a great job and so I do. I guess I can't complain, I make good money but I only really got this job because of my dad's connections. I make well above an entry level salary and I can easily afford things in this city. It's nice to get away from the parents, which is the only thing I can say that is largely positive about the move.

 

Lately, I find myself wondering if it was all really worth it. Getting the grades in school, graduating from college, doing that extra 10 or 20% that I really need to get ahead. At the end of the day, I'm still who I am, I haven't made that much progress in much of anything. I sometimes take walks around the city but I still feel as if I'm locked into a life I don't really care for. Beyond work, there's not much else that makes me feel great. I play some guitar and piano, I watch some movies on Netflix, I play catch in Central Park with one of my friends from college. I'm still as sexually attractive as a used dishrag to girls.

 

It's like I envision the future and I see just a large expanse of monotony, unhappiness, and chronic feelings of inadequacy. Still, I guess its better than the alternative.

 

 

Fast-forward your thoughts to age 45... when most of the satisfaction and personal rewards you will feel are gonna be the results of long-term (emotional) investments made in the same directions for lengthy periods of time.

 

Lets pretend you're gonna be married by/at that point... every day in NYC you're going to encounter hotter and younger women who may in fact be quite capable of affording you a much better raw f*ck than anything your then-wife can muster. And your relative wealth at the time may indeed allow the possibility that you could experienced that intense f*ck should you want to.

 

But you probably won't opt for that f*ck or any others not shared with your wife, and the reason will be that most of your most prized values shall be the results of long-term efforts and commitments.

 

So right now, you are on just about every level merely planting the initial seeds toward whatever great personal rewards you're going to know by age 45. And, in ways not unlike a home mortgage, right now you're busting your butt, giving into family pressures, and doing a whole lot of relative grunt work (which equates to paying much more interest, vs. principle, in the home mortgage analogy) so as to set up those future payoffs which shall result from today's beginnings.

 

 

So yeah, as with so many other current frustrations... just give it time!

[New User]

Honestly, who gives a ****? Didn't even read the OP, but, who cares? Most if not all of the problems on this site might as well be first-world pettiness. They're still issues that weight on the people having them.

 

Are we all contractually obligated to not take our existences for granted?

 

If you're so high and mighty, why the hell aren't you flying to some dingy poor ****hole in an underdeveloped country to help for the greater good? The only time you probably have ever even considered that was to look down upon someone else, like right now.

 

 

I have spent a couple of years in "some dingy poor ****hole in an underdeveloped country." During that time I provided medical aid- mostly to local nationals who were victims of circumstances they had no control over. I've also spent time in the burn ward at BAMC and helped to debride burn patients. This is why I have a fairly strong reaction to annoying, whiny little c**ts who are basically complaining because their life is too easy.

 

Not everyone's "problems" are worth being taken seriously, and sometimes whiny little c**ts need to be made aware that they are being, in fact, whiny little c**ts. Yes, that is meant to be helpful to OP.

[Knoxpwns]

It still baffles me why women will collectively deny a human being based on nothing more than an inch or two of flesh and bone.

 

what purpose does the height serve? is it so he has a high vantage point and can spot predators easier?

 

oh wait, this is human society, not animal planet.

[Ryan R.]

I have spent a couple of years in "some dingy poor ****hole in an underdeveloped country." During that time I provided medical aid- mostly to local nationals who were victims of circumstances they had no control over. I've also spent time in the burn ward at BAMC and helped to debride burn patients. This is why I have a fairly strong reaction to annoying, whiny little c**ts who are basically complaining because their life is too easy.

 

Not everyone's "problems" are worth being taken seriously, and sometimes whiny little c**ts need to be made aware that they are being, in fact, whiny little c**ts. Yes, that is meant to be helpful to OP.

 

If you wanted to come in here and bash me for saying how I feel, then I don't really see how you are being productive at all. As someone said earlier, this site is composed of "first world problems". That doesn't mean they're insignificant. I already know I'm not starving in a desert town in Africa or am using a bucket to **** in somewhere in Asia. That doesn't make my problems any less significant. If you expect me to pretend as if it "isn't so bad" just because I live in a first world country, then you might as well get off of this site. If you thinking I'm being a "whiny cunt", then fine. Take your opinion somewhere else and don't comment in this thread.

 

Do you actually approach women?

 

At 6 feet tall, you really shouldn't have a problem dating.

 

I approach women. Two or three weeks ago, I made 40 approaches combined those two weeks. Failed every single time.

 

Well, my facial structure isn't that great I think. I'm 6 foot, but height is only one thing. Most of my friends are shorter than I and they get more attention from women.

Edited August 19, 2013 by Ryan R.

[lino]

Hard to say why.

 

Either you are unlucky or you simply aren't what girls want.

 

Are you a nice guy?

[Ryan R.]

Hard to say why.

 

Either you are unlucky or you simply aren't what girls want.

 

Are you a nice guy?

 

I hate the word "nice". Especially when it relates to "nice guys". I'm not nice, I'm kind. I treat human beings like human beings. As I said, I don't consider myself sexually attractive.

[lino]

I also hate it and don't like being called that word.

Unfortunately treating people like human beings is less appreciated now, especially by women when they look for a partner... But I don't want to take the thread off topic.

 

Why do you consider yourself not sexually attractive?

[ScreamingTrees]

Not everyone's "problems" are worth being taken seriously, and sometimes whiny little c**ts need to be made aware that they are being, in fact, whiny little c**ts. Yes, that is meant to be helpful to OP.

 

That's the pot calling the kettle black. I don't really like you.

[Ryan R.]

 

Why do you consider yourself not sexually attractive?

 

Well, come on. If I was sexually attractive, I wouldn't be a virgin at this age. It's not rocket science. I feel sexual attractiveness is a spectrum, some people are more at the cold end than others. Since I haven't had any girls interested in me at this age, I just assume that I'm ice cold. It's not so much the fact of being a virgin bothers me (well, kind of) but its that if I ever got into a relationship or whatever, I would lack the ability to get another woman. Basically, it would be a once in a blue moon kind of deal. I don't want to end up like one of those guys who has a wife or girlfriend that yells at him or emasculates him in front of his friends and he puts up with it because he doesn't want to be alone. I'm not saying that I'd put up with that kind of behavior, but desperation makes people do illogical things. I'd hate to be with a girl that I'm only somewhat attracted to and she to me just out of convenience. I'm afraid of being just another option.

 

People keep saying it will happen but I'm 21 years old, almost 22. When? When I'm 25? 30? 35? 40? You just don't know what it's like seeing all of your friends get success with girls while you haven't even had a girl show interest towards you. Like I said, I'm in a good place financially and all but this is just one aspect of my life that's terrible. I firmly believe that if I was more physically attractive, then that could easily translate to sexual attraction. Good looking guys create these types of feelings in girls. As for myself, I'm just good for being a friend.

Edited August 22, 2013 by Ryan R.