Should I be worried about bf and bestie?

[kiara94]

Well it’s all over. She is just a lying slut and can rot in hell for all I care.

 

It all started well and I believed what she was telling me (I’m so gullible). Once only, drunk, so so sorry, never again, etc etc.

 

But then I was talking about how my xbf liked to nibble on my clit and labia piercings. She obviously slipped up when she said “I know”. How would she know? We got these piercings together and it wasn’t until after the one time they had supposedly f**ked.

 

I slapped her as hard as I could, I actually bruised my hand. I threw my drink in her face and walked out. The other patrons were cheering a little bit, I had my own little Jerry Springer moment, lol.

 

I stuck my head back in the door and yelled so everyone heard that she has been f**king by boyfriend for the last year. They all booed, lol.

 

Anyway she is so stupid she has been texting all day wanting to know what went wrong. I’m not even going to bother answering.

 

Something’s not right, it doesn’t add up, we can’t have been friends all our lives and then not only does she sleep with my man but she keeps it secret for a year. When it all comes out she admits to just once and try’s to regain my friendship, why would she do that? Why not just write me off as a friend? Did she just want me there so she could keep laughing in my face at how stupid I have been?

 

I learnt a couple of valuable lessons today. No matter how close you think people are to you never let your guard down. And never show weakness and give a second chance, they just see that and abuse it.

 

I want to hurt her so bad right now but I am going to be better than that. Instead of hating the people that have hated me, I am going to love the people that love me. I just hope I choose right this time.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Kiara,

 

Yeah...I was afraid of that.

 

Official stance: Physical violence is never the answer.

 

Knee jerk reaction: you go girl.

 

I am so sorry.

[The Way I Am]

You're pretty bad-ass, kiara! And you're got some pretty awesome truth-gathering skills.

 

But... as satisfying as it was, you shouldn't have hit her. Not because she didn't deserve it, but because it gives her the opportunity to charge you with assault. It would be a shame to have a criminal record over these 2 worthless people. Hopefully she either realizes that she got what's coming to her or is too dumb to know she can have you charged with anything.

 

As for why she only admitted part of it and is trying so hard to stay your friend, she's selfish, f*cked up and doesn't know what friendship really is. It might help you to read http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/407735-affair-friends-husband for some screwed up, selfish rationalizations from the perspective of a woman who kept claiming her endless love for her best friend while having an affair with her husband behind her back.

[kiara94]

Somethings not right. I don't know what it is but things just don't add up.

 

She has continued to text me pleading for me to talk to her again. She says I misunderstood what she said. She still claims it was a once off. She says she will quit her job so I can keep working there. She has also offered to take a polygraph, I wouldn't even know where to start with something like that.

 

But the most revealing thing she said was that she's still in love with me. She has told me many times she loves me, i have told her the same, but she has never said 'in love with'. I have read and re-read the text and there is no mistaking what she meant.

 

So that leads me back to my xbf who has always maintained his innocence. I have spoken to a few of his best mates and they swear he is head over heals in love with me and would never cheat. I didn't believe him but he did say from day 1 that she wanted me and was trying to break us up so she could have me to herself. It was very close to working.

 

Now I don't know what to believe. One of them, maybe both of them have been playing with my emotions. I was certain I had it figured out but now I am just plain confused.

 

Am I just clinging to straws here or could there be something in this? I don't really have the strength in me to pursue this at the moment, it's all just getting too much but if my xbf was telling the truth I don't want to throw away a good man because I am tired of it all.

 

You guys have been wonderful. Please be wonderful again. If I am being stupid please just tell me.

 

Oh, and my hand hurts like crazy. I had to go for an xray. I have a small fracture in the metacarpal of the middle finger. Does that make sense? I don't know what it means other than it hurts and I have to wear a removable cast. I guess I got her good. Which I will feel bad about if it turns out she is telling the truth.

 

I just want it all to go away. I wish I never saw them in the tent that night.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Wow.

 

Sorry about your broken finger.

 

You have never really talked about the XBF too much, or what he said.

 

I think you can follow the same guide I gave you about talking to her.

 

However, you saw what you saw in the tent. So minimally he was groping her.

It's possible she was snuggling him or something that led him to snuggle up, but seems far fetched. But not impossible.

 

It also IS possible that she is "in love" with you and so the complexity is there.

 

Although saying she slept with your BF to break you up, so she could have you, seems strange and illogical.

 

So I say talk to him, let him. Answer all your questions befor providing any details about what your XBFF said.

 

Add one more- exactly what did she say to him before you arrived when she admitted she slept with him.

 

Advice - don't hit him no matter what he says.

[kiara94]

You have never really talked about the XBF too much, or what he said.

 

To be honest I had written him off. I trusted that my bff was finally telling the truth. I never gave his story any credit.

 

However, you saw what you saw in the tent. So minimally he was groping her.

It's possible she was snuggling him or something that led him to snuggle up, but seems far fetched. But not impossible.

 

This whole thing is messed up and makes no sense. I just want the truth. Sure it may hurt for a while but I'll survive. This not knowing who my firends are and who aren't is very draining.

 

It also IS possible that she is "in love" with you and so the complexity is there.

 

Firstly I don't think she's in love with me. We were the best of best friends. She had so many opportunities when she could have told me.

 

Although saying she slept with your BF to break you up, so she could have you, seems strange and illogical.

 

This actually makes a bit of sense to me, maybe I'm just twisted, hear me out.

 

The two of them sleep together. She means everything to me, he's 'just' a boyfriend. When all the dust settles I will forgive her and he will be gone. It very nearly played out that way.

 

Advice - don't hit him no matter what he says.

 

No promises. People get what they deserve.

 

I will arrange a time for us to speak and I will hear him out.

 

All I can be sure of right now is that there are too many lies. Maybe I do need to look into that polygraph thing. Does anyone know anything about them? Are they even available to the public?

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Yes you can get a private poly.

 

Talk to the XBF and see what he says.

 

No hitting. You will break something else

 

Plus they can arrest you for assault. Which would blow.

[salparadise]

I slapped her as hard as I could, I actually bruised my hand. I threw my drink in her face and walked out. The other patrons were cheering a little bit, I had my own little Jerry Springer moment. I stuck my head back in the door and yelled so everyone heard that she has been f**king by boyfriend for the last year. They all booed.

 

This whole episode reeks of Jerry Springer drama. Kiara, you just seem to be too genuine to survive in this environment. Surely you see this kind of thing unfolding around you all the time? You probably see a lot of other stuff going on every day. Strip clubs are a breeding place for seediest elements of humanity, yet you seem to expect truth, integrity, loyalty and honor to abound. You are hurt by the lies and deceptions and are intent on dissecting the storyline to find out exactly what's true and what's not. I think you should be planning your escape by way of education and participation in mainstream society. I hope you'll give it some consideration. I am sorry for the pain you're going through and wish you the best.

[The Way I Am]

Kiara, this is a case where you need to consider occam's razor, that is, the simplest answer is usually the correct one. I think you're seeing things as not adding up, because you don't want them to. You don't want to believe your bf and friend would do this to you. So yes, you're grasping at straws. Objectively, your friend's story adds up quite well.

 

Which is the easiest to believe:

 

1. Your bf and friend had sex a year or so ago and probably at least once after that. Your bf either intentionally or by habit spooned and groped your best friend while sleeping next to her. Not being intimately unfamiliar to her, she didn't wake up and notice -- or did notice and didn't mind. When you saw, you screamed and made a scene. Your friend stayed distant because she was embarrassed and ashamed you caught them. When you apologized profusely to your friend for accusing her, and she was faced with how great a friend you were compared to how sh*tty she had been to you, she confessed out of guilt. But she only admitted to the one time, because by minimizing what she had done, she hoped you would be more likely to forgive her. Your boyfriend already knew what she had told you when you approached him, so she must called your boyfriend and told him that you knew about their hookup so he could be prepared for your confrontation, and hopefully stick to her "it was only one time" story. He lied and said it never happened. She kept lying by minimizing it to a one time thing and constantly apologized to get you back as a friend. When you were considering forgiving her, she slipped up not realizing that her knowledge of your bf's piercing nibbling habit would give away that it was in fact not a one-time thing.

 

2. Your bf and friend did not have sex. Your boyfriend accidentally cuddled your friend instead of you, and she didn't notice he was doing it. Neither of them were woken by the strangeness of such close contact with a person they are not at all intimately familiar with. (Or as an alternative, your friend did notice and had started to set in motion her grand master plan to break up you and your bf.) When you saw, you screamed and made a scene. Your friend stayed distant, because she was embarrassed and mad that you would accuse her of such a thing. Then she decided for some reason that instead of clearing it all up and having you not be mad at her, she would make up a story about sleeping with your boyfriend in order to break you and him up. She neglected to consider in her great master plan that it was pretty stupid to put herself in the middle of it where you would also be incredibly pissed at her. So instead of telling you the truth that there was nothing to worry about and finding some other way to sabotage your relationship, which didn't also sabotage her friendship with you, she made up the story that she slept with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend already knew what she had told you when you approached him, so your friend must have told him. Her motivation for telling him is… um… I guess because she's a master villain pontificating to him about her grand master plan to destroy your relationship. Your boyfriend told the truth, knowing all about your friend's dastardly, but not well-thought-out plan. Your friend desperately tried to get you back as a friend, and despite how much fallout it's caused for her, she still won't come clean about making the whole thing up. Your friend who is greatly lacking in any type of forethought, then has the ingenious decision to purposely let information "slip" which would implicate her in having slept with him more than the once she already claimed. So instead of sticking to her "it was only once" story even though she could see that it was successfully breaking you and your bf up and she was in the midst of reconciling your friendship, she purposely decided to throw more fuel on the fire, because… um… I can't think of any benefit she would get from "accidentally" making her betrayal of you seem worse. Because she's a cartoon villain, I guess.

 

I think your bf's story is ludicrous when you look at the whole picture. By all means, get his side. But don't make any decisions without taking into consideration how everything he says fits.

 

Also, if you're going to talk to him, meet in a semi-public place. Don't go to his house or your house. You'll be emotional about it, and things he says might sound right to you in the moment, which could lead to having sex. That would only cloud your judgement. Good luck talking to him.

Edited August 26, 2013 by The Way I Am

[kiara94]

Strip clubs are a breeding place for seediest elements of humanity

 

*sigh* This might be the perception, but it is not the reality. These clubs are not like what you see in the movies and on TV.

 

I think you should be planning your escape by way of education and participation in mainstream society.

 

Firstly I don't feel the need to 'escape'. I plan to be financially set by the time I finish my degree. I am jointly studying a Bachelor of Forensic Science / Bachelor of Criminology.

 

Just because I choose to work where I do has no bearing on this thread and does not put me in the too dumb to do anything else category.

 

I can work here only two nights a week and earn enough for everything I need and to save plenty and have my house close to paid off in 4 years OR I could work in retail and have to work 4-6 days just to make ends meet.

[kiara94]

 

I think your bf's story is ludicrous when you look at the whole picture. By all means, get his side. But don't make any decisions without taking into consideration how everything he says fits.

 

Your scenarios make sense. You are right, I don't want any of this to be true. It's time to stand up, see the truth, and move on.

 

I will give him his chance but I am so over this.

[kiara94]

Spoke to my xbf. He maintains his innocence.

 

I don't know who is telling the truth and I don't think I will ever know. Without knowing I can't commit to either of them so I'm just going to move on.

 

I am really sorry it has come to this, if one of them is telling the truth then they are getting the short end of the straw just as I am.

 

My xbf also offered to take a lie detector test just as my xbff did. I have looked into it, they are available, if they are serious it could clear some things up.

 

Whichever one of them is lying (or maybe both) they are damn good at it. I walked away from meeting my xbf and I was convinced he is telling the truth. Sleeping on it overnight didn't change my mind but did give me some doubt.

 

If anyone has any experiences or advice regarding lie detectors I'd love to hear them.

[The Way I Am]

Despite what crime dramas and the Maury show want us to believe, there's a good reason lie detectors aren't admissible in court. They aren't really reliable. They measure your level of stress when asked a question and assume that if you feel more stress to a specific question than you did the control questions, that you're lying. If you're taking a polygraph and are asked "did you have sex with X", even if you're telling the truth, you could feel stress about the possibility of losing your friendship/relationship if you don't "pass" the question. On the other side, some people don't feel any stress about lying and can pass with all lies.

 

I would never use one. If I were ever doubtful enough in someone's honesty that I felt like I need to give them a lie detector test, that would be enough to move on.

 

What did your bf say that made you believe he was telling the truth? Did he have any new facts or just comforting words of loyalty?

 

Did he have an explanation for why he thinks your friend is trying to split you up? Or what she said when she must have called him after she told you they slept together?

[kiara94]

If I were ever doubtful enough in someone's honesty that I felt like I need to give them a lie detector test, that would be enough to move on.

 

Yes, I think you are right.

 

What did your bf say that made you believe he was telling the truth? Did he have any new facts or just comforting words of loyalty?

 

He didn't say anything new, he just maintained his innocence. But along with the 'references' from his friends it just seems as though he is genuine. Or of course maybe I am just gullible.

 

When he gives examples of the way she acts around me it does give me cause to second guess whether what he is saying is true.

 

Did he have an explanation for why he thinks your friend is trying to split you up? Or what she said when she must have called him after she told you they slept together?

 

He knows she is in love with me and wants me for herself. He says that is why she split from her ex (I can't find him to ask). Apparently she has told him straight out that him and I would never last and that I would eventually end up with her.

 

On the day she called she said that I was on my way over and she was gloating that she had 'won', that I would eventually forgive her but never forgive him.

 

I don't know what is true and it's likely I never will. Given that I have to agree with yourself and others that I just have to cut my losses and move on.

 

It makes me sad to say that. These were my two best friends, he was the man I wanted to marry one day. It really is devastating.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I know you and he had been together a couple years right?

 

Do you think you should go to a counselor and get a third parties option?

 

I am starting to wonder if your XBFF might be a bunny boiler.

[kiara94]

I know you and he had been together a couple years right?

 

A little over three years.

 

Do you think you should go to a counselor and get a third parties option?

 

I can't see how that can help. I need the truth to remove all doubt, he is adamant he is telling the truth. Unfortunately there is no way of proving it. So I may be giving up a wonderful man when I don't have to but what choice is there? I want to forgive him, I really do, but I need to be sure. He is so understanding and is saying and doing all the right things. He deserves a chance, we deserve a chance, my heart is saying forgive, my head is saying don't.

 

I am starting to wonder if your XBFF might be a bunny boiler.

 

I don't know what has happened to her.

 

She has either made this whole thing up in some bizarre attempt to get her and I together or slept with my xbf once or slept with him multiple times.

 

She doesn't come out looking good in any of the scenarios, certainly none draw me close to her.

 

The best of those three options from her point of view is that they slept together once, it was a mistake, and that hardly makes me want to turn to the other side and date her.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

A little over three years.

 

I can't see how that can help. I need the truth to remove all doubt, he is adamant he is telling the truth. Unfortunately there is no way of proving it. So I may be giving up a wonderful man when I don't have to but what choice is there? I want to forgive him, I really do, but I need to be sure. He is so understanding and is saying and doing all the right things. He deserves a chance, we deserve a chance, my heart is saying forgive, my head is saying don't.

 

I don't know what has happened to her.

 

She has either made this whole thing up in some bizarre attempt to get her and I together or slept with my xbf once or slept with him multiple times.

 

She doesn't come out looking good in any of the scenarios, certainly none draw me close to her.

 

The best of those three options from her point of view is that they slept together once, it was a mistake, and that hardly makes me want to turn to the other side and date her.

 

I am going to say that the XBFF friendship is toast. None of your choices are good.

 

As for the XBF...a third party may be able to ferret out what you are too close to see. That is all I am suggesting. He is either innocent, a victim of your friends delusions or guilty of an affair of some magnitude. While lie detectors are not infallible...properly certified administrators with excellent questions may give you some level of surety.

 

IIWII

[The Way I Am]

On the day she called she said that I was on my way over and she was gloating that she had 'won', that I would eventually forgive her but never forgive him.

 

Yeah... that just doesn't sound believable to me. There's a small chance it's the truth, but it's very unrealistic. Like something somebody in a movie would do, but rarely in real life.

 

IMO, your friend's story sounds more believable than his.

 

My advice on your friend is that you should just end your friendship. She either slept with your bf or is lying to you. Whichever it is, you know you can't trust her. But if you do want to keep her as a friend, I'll offer you advice on how to proceed with that also.

 

As for your bf, as unrealistic as his story sounds, there is at least a chance he's telling the truth. I don't think the false sense of security you'd get from a lie detector would be a good use of money. They don't ask the type of questions that you would help gain any additional insight. It's just yes/no responses. Deception is easier to root out when you ask people to explain themselves than yes/no questions. I think you'll get more information from asking pointed questions on your own and weighing the reactions and explanations.

 

Do you think you've gotten all the info from them you want? Or do you still feel like you need some explanations?

 

Did you ever ask your friend about her "I know" comment to see her explanation both before and after you let on what the comment implied to you?

 

Have you ever had any times in the past where you wondered if something was going on between your bf and friend? At the time your friend claims they slept together, do you remember either of them acting differently?

 

A therapist might be able to help you work out if you're willing to trust your bf in the absence of proof of innocent or guilt. But I don't think you should take another person, including any of us, siding with or against him as evidence that you should believe him. If you're going to stay with him you'll have to make a decision to trust him.

Edited August 29, 2013 by The Way I Am

[kiara94]

My advice on your friend is that you should just end your friendship. She either slept with your bf or is lying to you. Whichever it is, you know you can't trust her.

 

Yes, this friendship is over. I never say never so maybe time will heal but there would need to be some honesty and admissions before that process could even start. Even then getting back to what we had before seems impossible.

 

As for your bf, as unrealistic as his story sounds, there is at least a chance he's telling the truth.

 

He just seems so genuine. He is not making excuses at all, he says he can't because he has done nothing.

 

I think I have tracked down Sienna's xbf. I left a message for him so I hope he gets back to me. If he confirms that they split because she was after me then it looks as though my xbf may be telling the truth.

 

I'm still a but peeved that no-one thought to tell me about all this in advance but that's a whole lot better than what it looked like was going on.

 

Do you think you've gotten all the info from them you want? Or do you still feel like you need some explanations?

 

I need the truth. One of them may already be doing that but how can I know?

 

Did you ever ask your friend about her "I know" comment to see her explanation both before and after you let on what the comment implied to you?

 

Yes, she claims to not even remember it / never said it.

 

Have you ever had any times in the past where you wondered if something was going on between your bf and friend? At the time your friend claims they slept together, do you remember either of them acting differently?

 

Never. I was completely trusting of both of them.

 

The only time anything inappropriate happened was one night when a whole group of us was playing truth or dare. Long story short they ended up having to make out for a minute. I wasn't worried about the kiss so much but they way they held each other made me very jealous. She was with her boyfriend at the time so I didn't think anything was gong on. I had to kiss someone else as well so I could hardly make a big issue over it.

 

That wasn't near the time that they apparently slept together though and besides that single time I have never suspected that anything has been going on.

 

A therapist might be able to help you work out if you're willing to trust your bf in the absence of proof of innocent or guilt.

 

I am really sorry for him, well for us really if he is indeed telling the truth but without proof I cannot trust him.

 

I would need proof that he is telling the truth for us to get back together.

 

If he had of come clean and admitted to the once only I may have been able to forgive him but it is too late for that now.

 

If it was more than once then forgiveness was never an option.

[salparadise]

When he gives examples of the way she acts around me it does give me cause to second guess whether what he is saying is true.

 

If she broke up with her previous boyfriend to be with you, then it only stands to reason that she would be pushing that agenda, even if in subtle ways. So the first question to ask is, is she bisexual and has she pursued other women. As he best friend I would think you'd know this. Secondly, was there any change in her behavior around the time she broke up with the boyfriend? Has she ever made subtle advances, initiated touching or given you indication to believe that she is mad for you? If this were true I think you would have at least sensed it, if not noticed outright behaviors that would indicate it.

[The Way I Am]

I think I have tracked down Sienna's xbf. I left a message for him so I hope he gets back to me. If he confirms that they split because she was after me then it looks as though my xbf may be telling the truth.

 

Sounds like you may have an awkward conversation soon. If you do get in touch with him, mention as little as possible about your current situation. Definitely don't mention your bf's story that your friend broke up with xbf in order to be with you. That will taint your answer, because if they broke up on bad terms, you can't be sure he won't just agree with the story to get back at her. Let him tell you why they broke up without you feeding him any details. Only after he gives you his side should you bring up anything about whether she's in love with you. For example, if he says he's not sure why it ended or they just grew apart or whatever, then you could tell him your boyfriend has this "silly idea" that they broke up because she's in love with you (without mentioning the current he said/she said cheating fiasco). Then ask if she ever told him that or gave him any reason to think she's bisexual.

 

If you are able to talk to her xbf, do you think that will be enough to settle it for you? If her xbf confirms she broke up with him because she's in love with you, will that be enough for you to believe and trust your bf again?

 

I need the truth. One of them may already be doing that but how can I know?

 

It may not be possible to get the truth. You may reach a point where you've gotten all the information you can reasonably get and you'll have to decide to either act on that information available or keep holding out hoping for proof. I don't think you've reached this point yet, but at some point, the holding out for more evidence becomes unhealthy.

 

The only time anything inappropriate happened was one night when a whole group of us was playing truth or dare. Long story short they ended up having to make out for a minute. I wasn't worried about the kiss so much but they way they held each other made me very jealous. She was with her boyfriend at the time so I didn't think anything was gong on. I had to kiss someone else as well so I could hardly make a big issue over it.

 

That wasn't near the time that they apparently slept together though and besides that single time I have never suspected that anything has been going on.

 

:/ There's something there to support both sides.

Edited August 30, 2013 by The Way I Am

[kiara94]

If she broke up with her previous boyfriend to be with you, then it only stands to reason that she would be pushing that agenda, even if in subtle ways.

 

That's why I am trying to find out. He messaged me back saying he wasn't interested in talking to me, This is his text verbatim, "I know you're agenda and I do not want 2 get back with her and u more than ne1 should know that. Enjoy you're lives."

 

I have messages back telling him it is not about that but I haven't heard back. But even that last text does sound like it could be true. Of course when you are looking for something you often find it even when it's not really there. I just hope he and I can have a chat about all this.

 

So the first question to ask is, is she bisexual and has she pursued other women.

 

She has kissed other women including me obviously but as for being bisexual I don't think so. At least she has never shared that with me.

 

Secondly, was there any change in her behavior around the time she broke up with the boyfriend? Has she ever made subtle advances, initiated touching or given you indication to believe that she is mad for you? If this were true I think you would have at least sensed it, if not noticed outright behaviors that would indicate it.

 

We kiss all the time. From my point it has only ever been in fun and to stir the guys up. Whether at some point those kisses became real for her I can't say. Nothing seemed different from my end.

 

As for the touching again it's a hard thing to gauge. We dance together, we are always touching and feeling each other. Whether it became real for her one day I can't say.

 

What I don't understand is that if it did become real why didn't she just say so?

[kiara94]

I'm pretty sure I posted earlier that I asked her to quit so we didn't have to work together.

 

Well she was not at work last night and I had a message on my phone when I finished saying that she didn't come because I asked. She said she would do anything for me. She also said she was hoping I would reconsider and ask her back but if I don't she will stay away.

 

Whenever I read her messages now I keep reading them thinking that she wants me. I don't know whether it's just a bit of paranoia or whether it is true. I keep thinking that I am reading something that is not really there. If I read the messages not thinking that she was after me I would read them totally differently. I hope that makes sense.

 

It really is a moot point though, whether she wanted a relationship or not what she has done, whether it be sleeping with my bf or just the lies, has made it impossible to ever trust her again.

[Nik1]

Wow, and I thought going to the movies was good!

[The Way I Am]

That guy's grammar sucks.

 

That's why I am trying to find out. He messaged me back saying he wasn't interested in talking to me, This is his text verbatim, "I know you're agenda and I do not want 2 get back with her and u more than ne1 should know that. Enjoy you're lives."

 

I have messages back telling him it is not about that but I haven't heard back.

 

Call him. Leave a message if he doesn't answer. He can't hear emotion in a text. Let him hear the sincerity in your voice when you tell him you're not calling to get them back together.

 

Use your own words, but here's the gist of what to tell him: "I'm sorry to bother you. I'm not trying to convince you to get back with X. Some things have happened, and I'm not sure I knew her as well as I thought I did. She's telling me things about people that I care about, and I'm not sure who to believe. I know this is really strange, and it's embarrassing and awkward for me to have to ask, but you're the one person who can help me figure out who I can trust. It could clear up a lot of things if I know why you two broke up. That's all I want to know. I don't want to drag you into any of this or bother you with what's happening. If you want to know, I can tell you all about it after I get the answer. If you don't want to know, I won't bother you with any details. If this weren't really important to me, I wouldn't even ask you. Again, I'm sorry and embarrassed to bother you. If I had another option, I wouldn't be. If you can please call me, it would be a huge help to me right now."

 

But even that last text does sound like it could be true. Of course when you are looking for something you often find it even when it's not really there. I just hope he and I can have a chat about all this.

 

I agree with the bolded part. If you were to look to his text for evidence that your friend is telling the truth, you could argue that maybe he found out she was sleeping with your bf and that's why "u more than ne1 should know" he's not taking her back. Also, if she dumped him for another person, why would his first assumption upon contact from said person be that said person is trying to get them back together?