Mui Mui Posted February 22, 1999 Share Posted February 22, 1999 Please be patient when you reading my story ... I am from Singapore, but is now in the States for my higher degree. When I was still in Sing., there was a boy among my classmates. Maybe he should not be regarded as particularly "agressive" and "loathsome", but he was very straightforward and some people told me that he did not hesitate in talking about his view points, in an "unpolished" way, even when his ideas were different from those of others. Among his other classmates, the girls disliked him most. I don't know the exact reason, because I did not belong to their circle (well, he and several of them lived on campus, and therefore always had dinner together - despite the fact that he was intensely disliked). A girl, whom people secretly thought should make a fine pair with him (their appearance matched , maybe), started out to like him, then hated him, and babbled a lot of complaints about him. Another girl complained that he was like a barbarian and had no consideration for others (esp. girls). Once, she even demanded to be switched to another group, when accidentally and fatefully, she was arranged to work with him under the same professor (though no cooperation was needed actually). I was not familiar and close to him, as I knew him only in the fall of 1997, and rarely met him alone, except I had a certain class with him and the others. In the summer of 1998, for some reason he switched his office room, and came to share with my office (together with two other classmate-colleagues) - those who hated him say it was probably because he ultimately could not bear to be with them in the same office, and prefered a quieter environment (mine room was quieter and had fewer people) - because he was always so "selfish" and did not want to share his things with others ... Since then, we became more familiar to each other - though not exactly "friendly" In summer, before I graduated, I had to attend an oral test and give a presentation of some sort. Nobody attended this sort of test, save for the professors who acted as examiners and myself. It happened that I mentioned the test in our conversation, and he initiated to be present there. Was it because I looked worried - and he wanted to give support? Or did he want to gain some sort of experience? (it will be his turn next year) Or was it due to his curiosity? (well, his classmates would definitely say he had nothing to do, or wanted to please the teachers there) After the test, we seemed to have become friendlier. I discovered that he was not as bad as others said him to be. He was no barbarian, and not formidable at all. For most of the time he was quite nice, talkative, smart and sometimes quite humourous. I thought people had merely been "unfair" to him and giving him such bad comments. Or it might be that I had never really been close to him, and therefore did not have the chance to discover his "worst" qualities ... Well, all the time I told him and other classmates, that I would stay in the same school for another 2 years. But secretly I had another plan. One day I revealed to them that I would leave school, but I would tell them my exact plan when time was ripe. A few weeks later, the boy learnt my plan from his professor (!) and knowing that I was in the computer room, he came in on purpose and talked about the whole thing with me. I was going to the top (toppest really!) graduate school in the States, and my future (optimistically) is as promising as could be, in just three years. I thought he was envious (at least he seemed to be) and I somehow felt embarrassed - because I did not use to be praised and admired in such a straightforward manner. When talking about his own future, he seemed more uncertain and confused. Well, now I am in the States, and working fine. However, though I seemed to have had a fine time with that boy, we did not contact each other anymore. To be frank, I don't think we really are so "friendly" - ACCORDING TO THE STRICTEST DEFINITION. But I do think that we would have become much friendlier had I stayed in the same school. I loved to talk to my family about my friends at school. Strangely, my mom and sister think that the boy really "liked" me - at least according to my story, what other people thought about him, and how he had treated me in the extremely short time we got on together. I had not thought of this before. But then, after hearing what they said, and thinking about what happened after the lapse of half a year, I began to feel that they might not be totally "wrong" ... Or is it just an illusion of mine, borne out of loneliness? However, when I thought of the fact that he had not sent an email to me, or contacted me, I began to feel sad. Of course, he did not have my email add. But one of his female classmates (one that criticises him frequently) does have it. And if he had given me his email address before I left school, I would gladly have sent him mails (as a friend, perhaps) by now. Sometimes, I really miss him. Perhaps it's cos I dont have many friends, particularly, friends like him who are so nice and yet sincere (at least he appeared so ...) Sorry for boring you with such a long, uninteresting episode of my life. But based on what I told you, do you honestly think that the boy might in fact "like" me? But whether the answer is yes or no, I can't help feeling disappointed, because if yes, why doesn't he try to get in touch with me? if no, he really seemed so friendly ! Link to post Share on other sites
Mui Mui Posted February 25, 1999 Share Posted February 25, 1999 Well, I just want to add that I discovered later from those who dislike him that he in fact had a more "complicated" background than most of us (this is the word they use to describe him) - regarding the type of job he did before he was in this school. But then, I never implied that I did not want to get in touch with those whose background is different from myself! It really makes me so sad! It is unfair - could he possibly see me just like the others? Link to post Share on other sites
Terry Posted February 27, 1999 Share Posted February 27, 1999 Well it seems you could be also lonely like many of us out here in the trenches of Life. He also might have just wanted to make you and want to be more than friends, which seems to be a crime these days. So many women these days dont' really want a nice, caring , loving, giving, generous man. They look at these men as not manly, tough and rugged. You keep searching and God will show you the true way. Life is such a Joy Enjoy every Breath Terry Well, I just want to add that I discovered later from those who dislike him that he in fact had a more "complicated" background than most of us (this is the word they use to describe him) - regarding the type of job he did before he was in this school. But then, I never implied that I did not want to get in touch with those whose background is different from myself! It really makes me so sad! It is unfair - could he possibly see me just like the others? Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff Posted February 27, 1999 Share Posted February 27, 1999 Well it seems you could be also lonely like many of us out here in the trenches of Life. He also might have just wanted to make you and want to be more than friends, which seems to be a crime these days. So many women these days dont' really want a nice, caring , loving, giving, generous man. They look at these men as not manly, tough and rugged. You keep searching and God will show you the true way. Life is such a Joy Enjoy every Breath Terry Hey Terry Why does it matter if the man is bad to others, but good and generous and caring enough for you? Does a guy need to be good to everyone? What do you mean by "a crime these days", and the boy wants to be more than friends? How is it a "crime"? Jeff Link to post Share on other sites
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