FWB/close friends/ something more?

[milly90]

Hi all!

So I met this guy whilst before my now ex boyfriend almost a year ago. More or less we hooked up once as a FWB arrangement , but he moved away. He is one of my closest friends and when we were first starting to get to know each other we'd talk for over 5 hours at night on the phone. He often would joke about dating me if I wasn't with my then boyfriend and would tell me to break up with him. After I told him that he started calling my ex my 'life partner' despite the fact that it would annoy me a lot. My ex and I eventually broke up due to issues w LD, and so we slept together again after.

 

What I find really confusing is that when we first met we would talk for over 5 hours a day at night on the phone, where we would be really flirty and exchange hundreds of texts. When my relative fell ill he was the one there for me at 3 am in the morning when my ex wasn't and would stay on the phone for 3 hours despite having class the next morning. The first time we did have sex before I met my ex - he would hold my hand and hold me and kiss my cheek but all the while reinforcing no attachment which wasn't too difficult as he was moving away anyway.

 

Even after he moved away we still text each other almost every day and call each other for a couple of hours twice a week. Whilst talking he told me abotu a girl he met that he likes but doesn't have the guts to ask out and nothing has happened between them. I give him my honest advice and tells him to ask her out because at this time there is no point in me looking for a relationship w him as he is so far away but he never did. As soon as my ex and I broke up - he texted me and asked if I was okay and wanted to talk. I asked him if he would come down to my city for casual sex and just companionship in a slightly joking manner - but he told me that he didn't think it would be a good idea if I still over my ex.

 

After a few weeks I planned with him a spontaneous holiday. Needless to say we slept together over those days and even took me back to his house where he showed me pictures of his childhood, drove me around to tourist sights for hours etc. Here it seemed more like a relationship in the sense that he was so - when we were just chilling he'd often grab my hand to hold it, kiss me on the cheek and the forehead, look into my eyes in silence, would reach out to hold my hand even though we were sleeping on two single mattresses put together and there was no talk of no attachment. At the end he even told me to comeback and visit on my next uni break - but only if i wanted to. When I do go out - he tells me to be careful and to watch myself and he often seems to disapprove or look down on the fact that my friends are hooking up with randoms, and asks if I do the same.

 

When we are together we have such a strong connection and tension between us, but whenever we are on the phone there are flirtatious moments but on the whole we just talk about each other's days/weeks. He is moving back in the next couple of months, but I do not know what our relationship is. He told me today that he said our relationship hasn't really changed since we first slept together - but our relationship since the beginning has always seemed like a bit more than friends and this has been happenign for almost a year. Have I been friend zoned? I just can't figure this out!

Edited August 17, 2013 by milly90