I can't understand how I feel about her...

[B1uehunter]

I'm a 16 year old guy, and I have this friend (who's a girl) that I CANNNOT STOP thinking about! I don't think it's love. It's just the strangest thing. It's this huge mess of emotions I can't sort out. Here are my symptoms. Please help me identify what I'm feeling >_< :

 

Jealousy: She's basically better than me at everything I do. Even stuff I care about more than she does. And she does more than me. She has charisma, intelligence, beauty, etc etc. She's popular as hell, too.

 

Admiration: She's class president, straight-A AP student, award winning Model United Nations Delegate, and Varsity track runner and basketball player.

 

Curiosity: As to whether she's really as perfect on the inside as she appears to be on the outside. I know she's a big partier. If she has any sort of instability, though, she hides it pretty damn well.

 

Affection: I like being around her, and I tend to think of her very softly at times.

 

Compassion: THIS is the one I can't understand for the life of me. For some reason, I find myself helping her a lot, even though she needs it less than anyone I know. Explaining math concepts to her, even though she ends up with a higher grade than me. Mailing her assignments when she doesn't have time. I help her far more than friends normally would considering how long I've known her, which is only a couple years, and we've never really done anything outside of school or MUN. Basically I'm just always there for he when she begins to slip. But she DOES NOT NOTICE! I really do get the feeling she's completely forgotten what I've done for her. This evokes some really strange emotion in me, but I can't tell what it is for the life of me.

 

This is really really bugging the hell out of me. I want to stop thinking about her. I have a girlfriend I absolutely adore, and yet I find myself thinking about this other girl more than my girlfriend. Please help me sort things out!

[bluechocolate]

Sounds to me like you've fallen for her.

 

How to stop thinking about her? I don't really know. But the next time you find yourself idolising her imagine she's really constipated, sitting on a toilet & trying really hard to have a dump. Maybe that will help bring her back down to earth for you.

[B1uehunter]

Hah! That actually made me laugh. It might help too. But could I perhaps get a reply that's maybe a bit more analytical? I REALLY don't think I've fallen for her.

[Sukotto]

You've fallen for her, simple as that. If you want you can call it an infatuation at the moment.

 

The emotion you feel when you help her with stuff but she doesn't notice it, your feeling unappreciated for this act that you've done and you want some recognition or approval.

 

There isn't really a way to get over it, but if you stop thinking of her as the most perfect person in the world then it will surely help. She will have her flaws too but they might not be obvious, they could be flaws in her personality.

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by B1uehunter

Hah! That actually made me laugh. It might help too.

 

 

But could I perhaps get a reply that's maybe a bit more analytical? I REALLY don't think I've fallen for her.

 

Sorry mate, but I think you have. There's isn't really that much to get analytical over.

[B1uehunter]

Yea. You guys are right. I've fallen for her. I guess I was denying it to myself as much as anything.

 

Isn't it funny how we fall for people like that? Come to think of it, she's obviously not even perfect at all. She can even be kind of an arrogant b*** sometimes.

 

I guess the only way to really stop thinking about her is just to stop thinking about her. Thanks all. This helped. The rest is up to me.

[Sukotto]

If you have feelings for her why not try and pursue them? Unless this isn't what you want and in that case you should start looking for another girl.

[B1uehunter]

Nono. I already have a girlfriend. It's my first relationship. Honestly, I always thought I would have no trouble keeping my mind on the girl I was going out with, but I guess I was wrong.

 

Regardless, I'm totally in love with my girlfriend. That's why I was so hesitant to say I'd fallen for this other girl, because that would mean I was in love with two girls at the same time. Or at least, as you put it, in love with one and infatuated with the other.

 

So yea, I really don't want to pursue these feelings. There are guys that will end something good just because they're curious about how it would be with someone else. I don't want to be one of them. And the only way not to be one is to not do it.

 

But thoughts are thoughts. They're hard to control. But I WILL find a way to stop thinking about this other girl. Hehe, maybe that constipation thing? Lol.

[Pocky]

1) She's a challenge

2) She's a mystery

3) You're taken

 

 

You haven't fallen for her in my opinion. You're intrigued by her. You want to figure her out. Find out she's so "wonderful". I don't think you have true emotional feelings for her. I think you like the challenge - like most guys do.

[Bob47]

One thing's important--she can't possibly be better than you at *everything*. I really admire my friend because she has strengths that I don't have. On the other hand, my strengths are also some of her weaknesses. I think it's important to keep a balance in your head between the two.

 

But since you have a girlfriend man, I'd stay away from this new girl. It's too much to ask of someone to keep feelings bottled up--it's really hard to do. So I think the best thing for you since you love your girlfriend, is to stay as much away from that other girl as possible. She doesn't have a crush on you, she probably just thinks you're a nice guy, and will end up using you for all of your kindess to her. Girls will keep a guy around who's nice to her, even when they're not romantically interested. My current opinion is don't let them do that to you (if you in fact might have feelings for them).