This girl I'm absolutely crazy about has moved away...

[MightyHeracross]

There is no such thing as the friendzone. Basically when she comes back in 9 months if you try to kiss her or ask her out and she says "I just want to be friends nothing more" a silly guy would say "oh no I've been friendzoned!"

 

Look man just keep flirting with her. Ask her stuff like to describe to you what's she's wearing. If you're on skype with her than tell her how pretty she looks or what ever and say it will be fun when she's back and you can touch her. Just flirt.

 

Though you should date man. Don't put your life on hold for 9 months for a girl who isn't even your gf. I mean unless you're going to ask her to be your gf online. Not sure if that's a good idea though haha.

 

I completely agree, I don't want to ask her out online. Thats just a pussy way of doing it, IMO.

 

Also, when you say ask her to be my GF, i kinda thought that you don't really ask that... don't you just kinda go on a bunch of dates, and eventually it becomes BFGF without saying it? Im really new to dating, so could you kinda explain the stages to me? lol, sorry if thats noobish

Edited August 29, 2013 by MightyHeracross

[Skyraider829]

What's up with the "friendzone"? There is no such thing.

[MightyHeracross]

What's up with the "friendzone"? There is no such thing.

 

I kinda agree with you, I feel like if a girl feel safe and has a good time with you, (if they think of you like a brother) they would want to date you. But it does still exist, I'm just not sure why.

[MightyHeracross]

There's no set rules really. If she weren't on the other side of the world I'd tell you to ask her out on a date again. You don't have to call it a date. " Let's go share an ice cream." I mean what ever. Go get a milk shake and ask for two straws haha. Than you kiss her. Than maybe after making out with her the next time you hang out you just tell her "you're my gf" haha. Kind of like that maybe. No set rules though. You'll notice a lot 30 year old, 40 year old, and older people coming to this site asking the most basic of questions so really confidence is key. You could go up to a girl and say some crazy ass stuff like "I'm going to stick my finger in your belly button and than you're mine forever" and if she likes you it will probably work.

 

Oh and you can pm now.

 

Thanks, I have been PM ing

 

Anyways, when people say "ask her out", does that mean, "ask her on a date (ice-cream, ect)", or does that mean "ask her to be your GF?"

[MightyHeracross]

Thanks, I have been PM ing

 

Anyways, when people say "ask her out", does that mean, "ask her on a date (ice-cream, ect)", or does that mean "ask her to be your GF?"

 

bump anyone?

[MightyHeracross]

Just do what ever feels right. Personally I wouldn't ask a girl to be my gf till after we dated a bit and got physical. I mean have you ever even held hands with her?

 

It's up to you though. You don't even have to go for Ice Cream. You can just ask her on a walk. Kiss her under a tree. Than carve your initials into the tree with a heart around it. You can just make this stuff up and use stuff you've heard other people doing.

 

Don't get in this mind set where you over think everything and want to ask so many questions.

 

We didn't hold hands, but when we were sitting at the concert, I did put my arm around her... kinda a big deal for me even though it shouldn't be...

[MightyHeracross]

You know the arm thing is supposed to lead into a kiss. What stopped you?

 

Like I said you need to just make decisions on this yourself. You got this man. My advice to you that you ignore is don't get this obsessed about a girl you're not even dating. I know you can't help it but try to talk some reason to yourself. Just be silly and flirty with her. Like if you want to tell her online that she's your gf do it as one of those jokes that's not really joke but really is. Like you're my gf now so don't date any one till you come back to your man. Than we'll be together baby.

 

Lol, no I didn't know that. I just kinda thought that I should've put my arm around her, so I did. I didn't even think about kissing her at the concert. Oh well.

 

Also, I understand what you're saying about not attaching myself to her, but I have never once said that I wouldn't consider hooking up with other girls. Im not in a relationship, but Iwould like to be. She's not in a relationship, so I don't expect her to not get with another guy while she's not here. Do I like the fact that she could be hooking up with another guy in her new country? Hell no. Is there anything I can do? Nope.

[MightyHeracross]

Look I thought it was common knowledge. When you put your arm around her and she let you do it she was giving you the green light, the go ahead to kiss her. She probably knows about the old arm thing. I mean the girl is supposed to take the guys arm off of her if she doesn't want things escelating to a kiss. She was probably disappointed when you didn't kiss her.

 

People have been doing the arm thing during concerts and movies for like since concerts and movies have existed. You rest the arm on. See if she lets you. Than you kiss. Even if she doesn't know about the arm thing she would have instinctual knew to push your arm off if she didn't want the kiss. She knows about it though.

 

If you date other girls it will help you get her. Also you'd be perfectly aloud to dump a gf if your feelings came back for her when she comes home. That doesn't make you a bad guy. You'd be a bad guy if you dated another girl and constantly talked about this girl to her. But if you just had your feelings return when she comes home and dumped the other girl if it seemed like you had a shot that's perfectly aloud. Dating is pretty casual these days. Not like an engagement or marriage.

 

iagree, and so you know, it hasn't been ruled out. Im not planning on dating someone else, but I'm not avoiding it, either.

 

As for the arm thing, did I really mess up? How can I fix it with her? Do Itext her and apologize for not kissing her? I feel like that would just make EVERYTHING worse, but I'm not sure.

[MightyHeracross]

Apologizing for anything like that is really lame and uncool. It would be like saying sorry sorry if she didn't have a good time at the concert. You tried your best don't apologize or it makes things lame. She might have liked that you didn't kiss her who knows. You did what you did. Live and learn.

 

Yeah, I agree. It would just bring attention to a situation that doesn't need it.

 

Do you think theres anything to be gained by telling her how I feel about her? And do you that thats something that should be done over text?

[MightyHeracross]

Yeah, I agree. It would just bring attention to a situation that doesn't need it.

 

Do you think theres anything to be gained by telling her how I feel about her? And do you that thats something that should be done over text?

 

BUMP??

 

T3h L337 d00d where are you when I need you??? lol

[MightyHeracross]

bump anyone?

[MightyHeracross]

bump anyone?

 

Bump again? Hello?

[Polak]

Not sure what other specific info you're looking for. Reading over a few of these replies, I'll say this.

 

1. Spend a fair amount of time with her when she gets back. Go to more events, hang out in random places, etc.

2. Just like you felt right to put her arm around her at the concert, do what feels right. Take it easy.

 

I disagree about "the arm thing" supposed to lead to a kiss. That's not true because it doesn't necessarily have to. You don't know whether or not she was disappointed, but that's behind you so just move forward. Don't think about it.

 

If you're planning on giving her the ole "I have feelings for you" reel, then it would definitely have better effects in person. Don't resort to everything via text. I understand she's halfway around the world, so have a bit of patience and you'll get your chance to tell her. When she does come back though, give it a bit before you spill the beans, get comfortable with each other via those hangouts and then you should be golden. That will ultimately be the "next step".

[lindsay1990]

This is probably not helping but from your original post, you say you contact her 2-3 times a week, that seems like staying in touch to me!

 

So...... being the hopeless romantic that I am, is there any chance *you* are the guy she's talking about all along?

 

 

Don't hate me, everyone else.

[MightyHeracross]

This is probably not helping but from your original post, you say you contact her 2-3 times a week, that seems like staying in touch to me!

 

So...... being the hopeless romantic that I am, is there any chance *you* are the guy she's talking about all along?

 

 

Don't hate me, everyone else.

 

Lol, no I wish tho. I know the guy she's talking about

[MightyHeracross]

Not sure what other specific info you're looking for. Reading over a few of these replies, I'll say this.

 

1. Spend a fair amount of time with her when she gets back. Go to more events, hang out in random places, etc.

2. Just like you felt right to put her arm around her at the concert, do what feels right. Take it easy.

 

I disagree about "the arm thing" supposed to lead to a kiss. That's not true because it doesn't necessarily have to. You don't know whether or not she was disappointed, but that's behind you so just move forward. Don't think about it.

 

If you're planning on giving her the ole "I have feelings for you" reel, then it would definitely have better effects in person. Don't resort to everything via text. I understand she's halfway around the world, so have a bit of patience and you'll get your chance to tell her. When she does come back though, give it a bit before you spill the beans, get comfortable with each other via those hangouts and then you should be golden. That will ultimately be the "next step".

 

I agree that I shouldn't tell her while she's gone. I just don't think its fair to her, to be honest. I want her to be able to live her life while she's away without knowing I like her. It just doesn't seem right. Idk. What do you think about that?

[Polak]

I want her to be able to live her life while she's away without knowing I like her. It just doesn't seem right. Idk. What do you think about that?

 

Of course it doesn't seem right to hold back your feelings (that never feels right). What feels right is you telling her how much you love her in order to attempt to get the same affection from her. So the hard thing now is to have a bit of patience: you don't want to give her the spill while she is away. Wait til she gets back and you guys hang out a few times before divulging. Only reason for this is because if she has remotely any kind of feelings in return, they are best exposed in person. Plus you want to be around if she has them! Just remember, as crappy as it sounds, be prepared for the worst. You never know 100% what she is up to halfway across the world.

[MightyHeracross]

Of course it doesn't seem right to hold back your feelings (that never feels right). What feels right is you telling her how much you love her in order to attempt to get the same affection from her. So the hard thing now is to have a bit of patience: you don't want to give her the spill while she is away. Wait til she gets back and you guys hang out a few times before divulging. Only reason for this is because if she has remotely any kind of feelings in return, they are best exposed in person. Plus you want to be around if she has them! Just remember, as crappy as it sounds, be prepared for the worst. You never know 100% what she is up to halfway across the world.

 

Yeah, I know. I mean, I want to tell her. Part of me thinks I should. Im not going to avoid telling her because I want her emotions in person. The only reason I would avoid it is because I don't wanna ruin her life over seas.