If your partner went on a vacation without you...

[Scrab22]

...how would you act?

While I was eating dinner, I thought of a scenario with a partner (your girl/boyfriend). They go on a vacation without you, I'll give some examples of the groups your partner goes with. How would you act if your partner went with:

 

* Someone of your gender.

* A group of your partner's gender.

* A group of your gender.

* A group of mixed genders.

 

You may include homosexuality, just do the right replacements in the examples!

 

I'm also kinda looking for advice through this thread. I don't have a girlfriend, but it's just to know how to act in such scenario.

 

* I would feel suspicious about the case. Would probably have a talk, or even breakup.

* That's completely fine with me, though I'd fear the group hitting on men, including my partner.

* That would really make me feel horrible, most likely to lead to a break-up (not instantly of course, I would depend on talking too).

* Kinda need to think about it.

 

In short, I would feel strange and suspicious if my partner went on a vacation without me.

Now don't judge me. I will gladly accept my thoughts as a weakness, as long as you say it in a respectful and helping way!

 

 

What do you guys and girls think?

[tbf]

* Someone of your gender.

* A group of your gender.

These would be so far outside of his pattern of behaviour, my eyebrows would move upwards beyond my hairline.

 

* A group of your partner's gender.

This is within his pattern so no problems.

 

* A group of mixed genders.

If it's with his group of friends, I'd have no problems. Anything else and it would be outside of his pattern so it's questionable.

[ltjg45]

In all honestly, none of those scenarios would bother me. If my partner is truly mine, then regardless of who she leaves with for a vacation, she will eventually come back to me at the end.

 

So I would just do my own activities until she returns. No point worrying myself about something that I can't control.

[veggirl]

Uhh if he wanted to go on vaca with a group of girls or one girl, he'd be outta here. That's not cool. If he wanted to go in a mixed group, IDK I mean why am I not invited if so many other people are? Not cool. A boys trip? That could be okay. Personally I don't quite get vacationing with friends when are you in a relationship, I'd rather go with my SO. I mean dinner or nights out with friends...vacations with SO! I would never go on a vaca and not invite him, and I basically expect the same in return.

[miss_jaclynrae]

My man went to SD to stay with a female friend for the weekend before he left.

 

 

 

I was butthurt.

Ultimately though, I have met her, I like her, and I am sure NOTHING would happen.

It wasn't that he was with her, it was just the idea that he was doing all these things that ultimately I would want to be the one for him to do them with.

 

 

 

 

Now, if I hadn't of met her, or I felt she was into him at all? No, I wouldn't be ok with it at all.

Luckily I am able to talk to my man about everything and anything, so any situation would be discussed openly before hand, and during.

I talked to him everyday when he was there, and he knew how upset I was about not being able to be there with him. He did everything he could to make me feel better.

That right there is something that is SO very important to me.

[MissBee]

...how would you act?

While I was eating dinner, I thought of a scenario with a partner (your girl/boyfriend). They go on a vacation without you, I'll give some examples of the groups your partner goes with. How would you act if your partner went with:

 

* Someone of your gender.

* A group of your partner's gender.

* A group of your gender.

* A group of mixed genders.

 

You may include homosexuality, just do the right replacements in the examples!

 

I'm also kinda looking for advice through this thread. I don't have a girlfriend, but it's just to know how to act in such scenario.

 

* I would feel suspicious about the case. Would probably have a talk, or even breakup.

* That's completely fine with me, though I'd fear the group hitting on men, including my partner.

* That would really make me feel horrible, most likely to lead to a break-up (not instantly of course, I would depend on talking too).

* Kinda need to think about it.

 

In short, I would feel strange and suspicious if my partner went on a vacation without me.

Now don't judge me. I will gladly accept my thoughts as a weakness, as long as you say it in a respectful and helping way!

 

 

What do you guys and girls think?

 

 

I can't answer this hypothetically, as it really depends on the relationship and the situation surrounding the vacation.

 

When I'm in relationships, I've gone on vacation with my family without my SO and they were fine about it and if they were to do the same, it wouldn't bother me. I've also gone away a few times on girls weekends away, it's not like we go to another country though, usually just a road trip for the weekend. My partners have been fine with this as well. I mean, they may text and call and say they miss me or joke about if I'm finding other men lol, but otherwise it's not a big deal. Now tbh, I think because of my own experiences and biases, I would be more suspicious of a guys' weekend . However, none of my boyfriends have ever gone on a trip with just them and the guys. They have a night out maybe but not road trips or guy cruises or anything lol.

 

If they were having a "mixed genders" trip or one where their friends were bringing their SOs and he just decided to go without me, that would obviously be a problem. I am not a clingy gf. I come with my own social life and friends and when I am with someone, they naturally become someone I'm around all the time and who gets included in my plans with my friends and me theirs, and we can also choose to do our own thing, but in most cases, they are always invited (except for specific girls only stuff or maybe family stuff if we haven't been dating long). That said, if he didn't want me on such a trip I would be hurt and suspicious.

Edited August 18, 2013 by MissBee

[mammasita]

Same sex group.....maybe ok

Mixed sex group.....I better be invited

Opposite sex group.....hell **** no

Opposite sex one on one....HELL **** NO

[hotpotato]

I'm fine with it. I dont think I'd feel comfortable with a bf going on vacation with a woman or a group of women. If they are being so blatant about it, they are probably looking to replace you. Just let them go. Sounds like the relationship is about to end.

 

That being said, he could easily go on a boys trip and cheat.

 

I would tell me partner not to do anything they wouldn't want me doing.

 

I'm fine with them going on vacation alone without me, and I wouldn't mind going on vacation without them. Where they are going would also make a difference where they are going. Are they going to Tibet for a spiritual journey or are they going to the Las Vegas strip?

[Scrab22]

Yes, it does depend on the cases.

A little off-topic, but what does "SO" mean?

[david100]

It is not accepted for me that my girlfriend just go for outing without me but somehow it is good for that she should go with her same gender . I mean with girls only.

[King_Crimson]

Yes, it does depend on the cases.

A little off-topic, but what does "SO" mean?

 

Significant Other.

 

To respond to the OP, I would be fine with my SO going with her girlfriend or girlfriends... but if there's a guy there and I wasn't invited, or she's going with just one guy or a group of guys, I would be concerned.

 

On a side note, what if your lover is bisexual? Does that change the whole situation?

[Scrab22]

Significant Other.

 

To respond to the OP, I would be fine with my SO going with her girlfriend or girlfriends... but if there's a guy there and I wasn't invited, or she's going with just one guy or a group of guys, I would be concerned.

 

On a side note, what if your lover is bisexual? Does that change the whole situation?

 

Oooooo.... didn't think of that!

I don't know... bisexual are rarer than homosexuals from my guess.

But maybe it would be better for the bisexual to go with his own gender, still, since not every of his friends would be homosexuals nor bisexuals. Few of them would, so they can reject him anyways

[candie13]

it depends on so many things. How long you two are an item, how independent you two are, how much time you like to spend together, if your partner has invited you to spend a part of the holiday together. I mean everyone needs time for themselves, at some point.

 

If there's something your partner likes to do or planned, is planned in advanced and told you about it, I mean if he or she planned this ahead and is important to them and they shared it with you, I won't be that suspicious.

 

In the end, it all matters on how they treat this matter.

 

One of the men I dated, had pulled this thing to me: he'd just come back from holidays from his parents. We had a bit of a fight prior to his return, but nothing that important - (basically, he didn't like one of my gfs and I was a bit off put by his being judgmental without even really having talked to her). So he comes back, we have a cup of coffee together. Then later on, he invites me to go swimming and paddling. We go paddling, we end up having dinner by the lake side, he meets some of my friends, we have a drink, we end up sleeping together. I assumed he was going to work the next day.

 

WRONG. He took an extra week of vacation and the very next morning bought a ticket to go to NYC for 5 days. By himself. Mind you, we had been dating for over 6 months and he kept mentioning California and Bordeaux, but never booked any dates for us. And now, all out of the blue, he was out. Well, I told him to go and enjoy it, but not come back to look for me after that. I was needy, sure, but I for sure was not any priority of his.

 

He had been living in NYC, his ex was in NYC, most of his friends were in NYC, he didn't say anything, not one word about that. Just told me the next day, after we had spend a whole afternoon and evening together, that he'd bought the ticket.

 

Cool for him! To me, that was a no-no.

[Steph321]

My bf goes on several ski trips a year with his ski club.. Which consists of friends of his that are mixed gender. These trips are usually a week long and no, I do not go along with him. I don't ski as much as him and I don't belong to the club.

 

He also does a trip or 2 to music festivals for a long weekend with his male best friend.

 

Of course we also do a good amount of traveling together as well.

 

Every time he goes away he keeps in touch with me through phone calls and texts. Am I jealous about these trips? No. Do I worry when he's away he will cheat? Not at all. He is very passionate about his music, and skiing and who am I to hold him back from those things? At the end of the day he is coming home to me, and we have something called trust in our relationship, which goes a very long way.

[Els]

#1 and #2 would just be weird, and completely out of the range of my SO's personality.

 

#3 possible if there were a reason why I couldn't go with them (conflicting work schedules etc) or didn't want to.

 

#4 no problem, unless there were auxiliary issues such as him constantly picking that over vacations with me, etc.