ricekrispiebun Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 I met someone while I was living abroad, and he was living abroad too, in April. He's an extremely shy but nice guy. We got on very well and after a bit of texting back and forth and flirtation, he came over to mine. The evening was a disaster - we held hands for a bit, but when I asked why he wasn't initiating anything, he said that he didn't want anything to happen. He said things were going too fast and also he was put off by the fact that we were both going home in the next month, and would then be literally on the other side of the world from each other. It hurt but I understood and we remained friends. The problem now is that he's acting more and more like he's romantically interested me. After what happened last month, I don't feel like I can challenge his behaviour without him reacting badly, since we agreed to pretend it never happened. If I leave it a couple of days without talking to him, he messages me first, and then we message back and forth for hours (working it around the time difference). He Skyped me out of the blue the other day. The most alarming thing is that a good friend of mine messaged me the day after my goodbye meal, to which this guy also went, asking how the "date" went. This friend had no idea about past events. Apparently it was "obvious he was into me". Yet when I drunkenly said to the guy on the train home, "it's lovely that we can stay friends in spite of what happened", he hinted how awkward I'd made things and never to bring it up again. Other friends also don't understand his behaviour. It's not that I think something could happen, since the distance is a problem. But I'd rather he be honest with me. Or have I got it all wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise24 Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 (edited) Hi ricekrispiebun. Welcome to LoveShack. he's acting more and more like he's romantically interested me. It's not that I think something could happen, since the distance is a problem. This sums up the essence of the entire situation; it sounds like he has feelings for you that you do not reciprocate. This typically leads to a friendship that is unsustainable, for reasons that have been brought up in numerous threads throughout this forum. If you're expecting him to be honest with you, the least you can do is be honest with him in return. If it's too hard for him to accept, the relationship isn't meant to be (for the moment at least). The sooner you bite the bullet, the more pain and awkwardness you'll spare each other in the long run. P.S. Friends have a way of misinterpreting relationships out of naivety; their input won't help if they can't or won't understand what's going on. Any further questions? Edited August 19, 2013 by sunrise24 Added a welcome greeting. Link to post Share on other sites
Onward_Upward Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Apparently, each of you will be moving to "the other side of the world" very soon... Move on, and forget him Use your energy up on something more worthwhile... Link to post Share on other sites
Stilnaught Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Sounds like he was in conflict in that first evening: emotionally dragged towards you, but when thinking clear knowing pretty well any true romance would leave him heartbroken since he has to leave. People who know it's better to stop wanting someone they want, for whatever reason, often end up wanting him/her even more than ever. Link to post Share on other sites
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