Is it possible to be in a Loving marriage without Sex?

[Bubbles]

EXCELLENT Point Jason 2003!!!!

 

Far too many young men have learned "how to have sex" from Porn.

 

I guess many would say that too many young girls have been taught about the "perfect relationship" form Romance novels/movies also.

 

Neither are "real"

 

Bubbles

[mymojo]

Originally posted by Jason 2003

"MyMojo" is correct when she states that many (some say most) cases of Retarded Ejaculation (man can't orgasm) are caused by a lack of sufficient physical arousal for the man to orgasm/ejaculate. The same goes for men who can't get, or who lose their erections during sex. For men with these problems sex can be a nightmare, full of stress and worry and many give up trying. I think if there is enough love in the relationship then a man's (or a woman's) sexual dysfunction shouldn't mean the end of the marriage. In a perfect world the visual aspect of sex who be less important for men as it is for women but sadly that is just not the case (which is why porn is so much more popular with men)A married couple can learn to be satisfied with solo masturbation alone and carry on with the rest of their lives. A sexless marriage doesn't mean a loveless marriage.

 

Well, I can't do it anymore, I can't handle looking in the mirror everyday and realising that the person who says he loves me finds me so physically replusive that he cannot orgasm with me.

 

There is no more "love" what there is is a woman who feels like utter and total crap.

[Owl]

MyMojo- You don't mention it, so I thought I'd ask... What have the two of you tried to fix the problem? Counseling, therapy, etc??? I'm not interested in details of your sex lives...just curious what you've tried to do to resolve the problem?

[Jason 2003]

Mojo..... if your husband is a heavy porn user, as most men with this (situational) Retarded Ejaculation are, this might explain his problem. So before you go blaming yourself (despite of what HE says) you should know that years of porn use and masturbation train a man's mind, and his penis, so that only porn and solo masturbation can bring him to orgasm. He may be blaming you because most men with masturbation/porn induced R.E. don't realize what REALLY causes their inability to ejaculate.

 

That being said, I did say in another post that some men do turn to porn because of their need for variety and because they are no longer sexually attracted to their wives. However it takes years and years of heavy porn use to cause Retarded Ejaculation which leads me to believe that perhaps he has been doing it for years, perhaps even before you were married. If this is the case, the problem isn't you, it's the porn. And it can be fixed. You'd be amazed how quickly he starts finding you sexually attractive after a few weeks of no porn and no masturbation.

Deep inside, I'll bet he'd also be a lot happier because after all, real live sex with someone you care about beats computer porn...ahem.....hands down.

[Jason 2003]

Mojo--- here's some info you might be interested in. It's from the Boston University Medical website

 

http://www.bumc.bu.edu/Dept/Content.aspx?DepartmentID=371&PageID=7388

 

an excerpt:

 

>>>>Ejaculatory problems can have a devastating affect on self-esteem. Men with ejaculation problems undoubtedly have feelings of inadequacy, feelings of failure and a negative view of themselves. They feel that they have little to offer in a relationship and to tend to avoid emotional and physical intimacy. Over time, partners become frustrated and communication becomes strained. Thus, resentments, anger and feelings of rejection often accompany an ejaculation problem. In couples where ejaculation is an issue, the partner often internalizes this dysfunction as their mistake; the partner feels responsible ultimately intensifying the man's stress and performance anxiety.

 

Ejaculation problems may also contribute to a low libido and lack of interest in sexual activity. Without ejaculation, sex can become a source of frustration and devoid of satisfaction. As a result, sexual activity can be perceived as more work than pleasure. In some cases, the woman may not be interested in sexual intimacy because of her frustration and anger at the situation. Ultimately in such cases, couples agree to avoid sexual contact rather than face the emotional pain of another sexual failure.>>>>>

 

Understanding is the key to dealing with R.E. The more you know the better. Don't give up on him. Do a google search on both "Retarded" & "Delayed" Ejaculation.

[z1rmp]

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I have the same issue in reverse.

My fiancee is just not interested but I knot that she loves me.

It drives me crazy sometimes that she's not interested and wonder what's wrong with me, but there's nothing wrong!!!

Sex isn't everything but it is important.

Love is a lot more than that. If you have it, you'll conquer everything.

Just let her know that you love her, and keep trying together but take your time.

It's a marathon, not a spring, and there will only be one winner ( or two)...