pssst what do you think?

[smile]

So.. I am a nerd and have kept his msg saved in my phone since sat night. Partly because I couldn't hear it all and partly because I am a girl .. anyway I listened to it again this morning (only making 3 times thank you) and he said at the end.. "call me sometime".

 

So... that is good right? I mean I think it is... but because of some weird exbf transitioning uncertainty stuff that happened when he first came home I am scared. He isnt in the same confused place as he was then and he is acting more like him before the breakdown. He has been apologizing for what he did AND he even made sure I knew he didnt plan to break up with me.. he just had a breakdown.

 

I had this dream last night that some lady came by and said to me "he should've picked you" and he was sitting in the corner all sad and lonely .. but then he got angry and walked away. What do you think that means?

 

In the mean time its so weird that my life has become so full that this is an exciting prospect and I love him so much.. but HE isnt what my world is all about. If we do get back together I am looking forward to him staying this sweet and wonderful part of my life I can go to for support.. but he wont BE my life. Its so weird.. I spent so much time making him my world that I squeezed too hard and he went away.

 

I know what a healthy relationship is and I want that with him. And for now I am happy with these flirty uncertainties. And when I question things its not life or death its like asking yr bestgf .. "you really think he likes me.. what does this mean? " tee hee.

 

Ok so I also have to say thank you to everyone here who is so supportive and sweet. It means a lot that I have you to come and talk to. My friends appreciate it too. They no longer have to read every uncertainty , but they see me happy. So when whatever happens does happen they dont have the confusing "what if" play by play to be angered by. Its also cool kinda keeping this my little secret.. makes it mean so much more.. the best part is... NOBODY TAKING AWAY THIS FEELING OF HAPPINESS OR SECOND GUESSING MY CHOICES!!!!!!! *ahem*

 

by the way I called him today. left a msg ... basically said i was so busy all weekend this was the first time i had to call and hoped he was having fun and being safe... told him he could call me back or whatever. very casual. wanted to say so much more but I am thinking I called so that was like my counter move and now its his turn.. I gave a little but dont you guys like to feel like you are in control (even when you might not be)?

 

so him asking me to call him for the second time, saying i SHOULD call him this time instead of i can, means something... yeah?

[Sukotto]

Well it depends, are you prepared for what happens if he acts like your getting back together and then changes his mind? I wouldn't get my hopes up too much as it just sets you up to fall further. I'd try doing some casual stuff if you can that doesn't involve too much time alone as thats where temptation comes in.

 

Phoning him and telling him your busy is good and yes someone always has to be in control in a relationship.

 

Wait a second, your a female nerd..... please tell me you think programming is fun and you like computer games Such females are only legend.