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2 months after BU,what's wrong with me


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It's been 2 months since the break.Dumpee here.Have progressed quite steadily but suddenly from the past week i have been dreaming of her every single night and made me wake up feeling really depressed.She ended our 3 year and 11 months relationship for a few issues that she had never even communicated before.We communicate and resolve conflicts before.It plagues me that i didn't even get a chance to fix things.One day before the break she's still saying how she loves me alot and i feel silly now.Wondering why am i suddenly dreaming of her everynight when i am not actively thinking of her.I feel so sick of myself.We had been on NC.

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mtnbiker3000

2 months is not that long to be out of a serious LTR. Give yourself a break. If you're like most people, you will be feeling sideways for a while longer. Totally normal!!!

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I am in the same boat with you. Broke up with GF after 9 years last month and she didnt even give a chance to fix our relationship which I considered great until now. I dream about her too. I am slowing applying LC ( limited contact ) and slowly letting go / disappearing in the shadows as days go by. I know that a million years from now, she will regret her decision. So....hung in there!!

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mtnbiker3000

Most times the dumper has been thinking, planning and preparing for the BU long before it actually comes out in the wash. Net result: Seems like it is out of left field to the dumpee. But it really isn't....

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I know 2 months is short,just sucks that suddenly i am dreaming of her every night when i am not actively thinking of her. Feel sadness coming back when progress was made.

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Oldcatskinner

OP,

 

When that sadness comes over you, let it flow through you. Don't pen it up inside and rationalize over it. It is only an emotion, and emotions come and go.

 

When sadness is present, be aware of it. I would advise against freaking out over it. I suppose you have been sad before, and you have been happy before as well.

 

Pulling for you,

 

OCS

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Feel physically drained dreaming of her everynight when i don't even think of her..it's making me start to think of her again and feel depressed.

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Don't worry mate, we all take different lengths of time to get over things.

 

I took me 6 months before I felt 'normal' and then at least another 2 months to get back into the rhythm of daily life again. At the same time I know a friend who did the same thing, after an identical relationship length to mine, in 3 months.

 

My best advice is just to role with the punches. Just know that you have to go through these periods in order to come out the other side. It was Winston Churchill that said 'If you're going through hell..... keep going'

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