bbarnt Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Hi all. My 2yr long affair ended five weeks ago. Both in 30s, no kids, me going through divorce, her married. It is not our first break up as I tried to leave before. For long time she was promising to leave her husband, making plans with me about doing it and then finding excuses in the last moment. This last time, she told me that some unexpected circumstances arose and she does not have strength to do it. I asked her to meet and calmly told that I had enough and am leaving. She did not object, just said that she understands and asked whether we can stay in touch. I replied that if she ever contacts me it should be because she is finally ready to be with me and that I hope it will be before it is too late. Since then I had my ups and downs but most of time I feel there is nothing to blame myself for as I invested myself in this relationship more than in any before. She uses social networks to communicate only with few people and changes her signature and pictures once a year or so. Since I left she does this at weekly basis. At first these were trivial things but then she put as signature photo of gift that I gave her when we agreed first time to sort our situation and spend our lives together. Week later she puts as her profile pic photo of two of us that we always labelled as special (only part of photo showing her of course). My first reaction after seeing this was anger. It felt as if she is playing mind games. She did something similar during one of our earlier breakups and then came few months later asking for another chance. I must admit that seeing these left me wondering what does she want to achieve. Is it just to get me back in affair or it could be that she is having doubts? While I have no intention of breaking NC, I am slowly moving on and soon leaving to work for two months abroad as well. Yet, there is part of me somewhere deep down that hopes these might be signs of her missing me and that this may make her come back to stay for real. Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Well just from your post, it seems like you dodged a bullet. Stop checking in on her so you don't know what pictures or signatures she is putting up. Complete NC. No talking, no creeping. If she really wanted you instead of playing games, she would tell you. Instead, she s doing this really disgusting game playing BS. She has no intentions of being with you. She only wants to know you still want her as a back up plan. Run. Link to post Share on other sites
sadwithouthim Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Yeah, she's definitely thinking of and missing you. I've been NC with my OM for 5 weeks now, and each day I have to make myself not play these games. It's literally a battle in my head every day. For instance, tonight is slow at work, so I have downtime. I went into my google + and typed in "idle time tonight...grrr", then erased it because it's not fair. It's basically the same as saying "we could talk ALL night tonight", tempting him, just not nice. He wanted NC, there's no reason why I should try to tempt him to break it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bbarnt Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Well just from your post, it seems like you dodged a bullet. Stop checking in on her so you don't know what pictures or signatures she is putting up. Complete NC. No talking, no creeping. If she really wanted you instead of playing games, she would tell you. Instead, she s doing this really disgusting game playing BS. She has no intentions of being with you. She only wants to know you still want her as a back up plan. Run. Yeah, you re most likely right. Its just that in one of our earlier breakups she behaved similarly for some time and then came to talk to me. I thought that this might be similar. Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Well just from your post, it seems like you dodged a bullet. Stop checking in on her so you don't know what pictures or signatures she is putting up. Complete NC. No talking, no creeping. If she really wanted you instead of playing games, she would tell you. Instead, she s doing this really disgusting game playing BS. She has no intentions of being with you. She only wants to know you still want her as a back up plan. Run. I agree 100% NC means none whatsoever. The number of sane, single, and non-game-playing women that you are missing out on is astounding. I suggest you meet one of them and enjoy life. This woman (loosely used term) is going to waste your time in a big way. Work on you and forget about her. She took the other fork in the road instead of you and you are no longer an option. The neat thing is, you get away from her pretty easily, whereas her husband is stuck with her. Go 60 days of pure NC and then look back. You will wonder how you ever put up with it all. Pure freedom is a beautiful thing! Link to post Share on other sites
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