hikergirl33 Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 3 months, only 1 month has been of us officially dating. There is a 12 year age gap between us, I am younger and he has a son. Because he has half custody of his son he has to live in a town that is 2 hours away from where I am. He works from home every other week (when he has his son) and drives down closer to where I reside when he works in the office. I have a roommate and so it isn't an option for him to stay at my place. So I will drive up his way on his off weekends without his son (and if we both don't have other plans). There have been 2 instances where its been a struggle and a fight about this arrangement, where he says he feels like a part time boyfriend and kinda pushes me in the sense of my living arrangement and me making more of an effort. I don't see how that is possible with our schedules and the logistics of where we live. I have suggested us meeting up when he is working in the office as a way to break the tension of only being able to see each other once every few weeks. I am at a loss of what else to do. I haven't met his son yet because I do not feel ready to do so and he knows that. I know that I will at some point but not as soon as I feel he would like. I feel like he also associates me meeting his son with then transitioning into me being able to spend more time with him. It just makes me feel uneasy because I feel like there is pressure on me and I do really like this man and he is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just don't want to rush into this like I have with others in the past. I feel like I have been really honest about my feelings, but there seems to be a struggle with our lack of time together. How can I figure out a way to make this work? Link to post Share on other sites
Faith13/2 Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 I can understand you not wanting to rush into things and get to involved with his son, just in case things don't work out. I think that you should keep in mind that he wants you to meet his son, that's a big deal and means he must be taking you quite serious, unless this is something he would normally do with a short term relationship. Do it at your own time, and don't feel the need to rush, but in the same token you should consider that meeting his son could change a lot of things. What if for whatever reason you find problems after that, or it's not a comfortable situation for you? You may want to find that out before you become more emotionally attached. Just something to keep in mind. It would also open up different time frames for you two to spend time together. Also he may be trying to see how you are with his son. I know for me being a single parent how someone reacted with my children was a huge decision maker/possible deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hikergirl33 Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 Thank you so much for your perspective, I didn't even think about it that way. I guess I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't take a moment to think about his perspective. I think it just has to be one of those situations where we have to agree on a set time frame, maybe. Cause I don't want to constantly be bothered by him about meeting his child, but I also don't want him to think that I never will commit to doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Faith13/2 Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 No problem, completely understandable. Maybe you could ease into meeting his son with an outing or something that's kid friendly. His son could be occupied some of the time doing things and it would still give time for you to interact with your SO and his son, just not forced. Link to post Share on other sites
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