2sunny Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 If I were his wife - I'd have hired a PI to follow him while I'm "out of town" Just saying... Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 their anniv update: He asked to make plans with me for that day... he's trying to get out of work for that day. MM act in strange ways, lol. Not strange at all, considering she'll be out of town and you're always available to him. Pretty predictable, really. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I faked the biggest "Wow what a great idea" with a shocked smile Yup, affairs are all about reality...they are the real relationship..not based in deceit or manipulation at all. Only showing their true selves to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 I faked the biggest "Wow what a great idea" with a shocked smile Yup, affairs are all about reality...they are the real relationship..not based in deceit or manipulation at all. Only showing their true selves to each other. The idea had me shocked and well double shocked, i would parallel it to a 5yr old 's idea of launching his cardboard rocket into space. I'm not a fake person and tend to be brutally honest. He, MM, looked so sad, the idea so out on 10th planet and the severe shock of what he said.... all left me hanging, it was a moment of weakness for me, not gonna lie, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 The idea had me shocked and well double shocked, i would parallel it to a 5yr old 's idea of launching his cardboard rocket into space. I'm not a fake person and tend to be brutally honest. He, MM, looked so sad, the idea so out on 10th planet and the severe shock of what he said.... all left me hanging, it was a moment of weakness for me, not gonna lie, lol. But you did lie, yes? Didn't you say it was a great idea? Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I find those types of interactions are based in the competitive side of the affair for the ap's. It's how they make themselves "better", more "understanding", "get me","soulmate". It's how they make invisible connections. Its the fallacy of which all affairs are borne. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jlola Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I find those types of interactions are based in the competitive side of the affair for the ap's. It's how they make themselves "better", more "understanding", "get me","soulmate". It's how they make invisible connections. Its the fallacy of which all affairs are borne. I could never be happy knowing someone is disrespecting another,belittling another in order to make me feel special. This is what he does to his wife. How is it she will be out town, if he is spending the evening with her. How is it they do not celebrate their Anniversary, but he will be this year? Link to post Share on other sites
jlola Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I think you are absolutely right. Yeah I seem to find some kind of security in knowing he could never find a woman even close to as attractive as myself to date him. To add to this we worked so closely at work, took every lunch together, etc, everything, there were never any real rumors of the possibility of us being involved in an A... it just seemed that implausible to co-workers. And my workplace had no shortage of A's and A rumors. Still shaking my head at this. We all strive for better. But you seem to strive to "bottom pick" why? have you asked yourself this? I think you are on a high thinking everyone will think MM is so lucky to have you, that he better be grateful. Would you tell your children to aim low? To choose friends or partners of low character,low morals? You need to look deeply within to know why you need so much validation. Come on, there has got to be decent men of high morals, who do not have a wife or baggage asking you out. But I guess you get high off the admiration of one who is shocked he can get you as well as the drama. I would rather have a man who dates high caliber woman and still chose me for my merits. Equally yoked! Have to say, I do think you are honest in your answers and this gives hope to the fact you may one day face your demons and look within. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CALOVELY Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) I see this alot from OW/fOW -- commetns about how the BS "just has to know" or "how can she not know". Is this a means of rationalization/justification on the part of OW. As in, well she "must" know and therefore obviously doesnt care, so its ok? And on the BS side, you hear over and over "I thought something was wrong, but didnt know what, and didnt in a million years think he'd be cheating" The problem your idea that she knows, is ok with it, and is fine just maintianing the status quo has some problems logic-wise. First of all, if she knows, they why must you keep it a secret? Secondly, keep in mind al the info you are getting on how they celebrate holidays, affairs, etc is coming from MM. And he is shown to be selfish and capable of deceipt. Just keep that in mind. I dont think she knows, and I dont think she'd be ok with it if she did. I also highly supsect there is quite more to their marriage then just co-parenting and living as roommates. Otherwise, why would MM bail when your being assaulted - why would he be so afraid of discovery that he'd leave your safety in question over his own need for BS not to discover? I imagine she'd feel even moreso about the A "milestone dates" were she privy to them. I have a friend whose husband cheated on her for 3 years. He told the other woman that his wife was fat, ugly, unable to have children, a gold digger, knows about his affair, lazy and doesn't care as long as the money flows in, a complete bitch and universally hated. All typed out in black and white via (not) so secret email. She is however a former NFL cheerleader and still looks it, bore him a son (now age 16), owns two companies while he was unemployed for the last 5 years of their marriage, would have shot his ass if she knew about the affair, runs marathons, brought home very high six figures, gave out 4 scholarships a year to poor mothers who had good grades in high school but never went to college for whatever reason. She was given a "key to the city" by our Mayor for her tireless work and charity with runaway children/child prostitutes/trafficked children. No wonder her (former) husband had to paint her as Golum. He on his best day couldn't measure up to her. Funny, he married her because back in the day he admired and revered every single thing she is now. I would think this is cautionary tale Lil. What your MM tells you is not the truth. MM lie, that's how they got in to an affair in the first place. Edited August 30, 2013 by CALOVELY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Unlike some affairs, I'm a nosey bish, I've always been ubber curious by nature, never take much for face value in the depths, on the surface I'm very happy-go-lucky, "one love" hippie type girl who wants to love and trust everybody.. In my A it didnt "just happen". I never wanted to be #2 for anybodys romantic love, I'll share but I'm greedy... I made sure he was and has been emotionally detached long before I was thinking PA, as well I did some digging on weather or not he was a serial cheater, lots of random investigating. It came back clean. Gates open. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 lil' wrote, " I'll share but I'm greedy... I made sure he was and has been emotionally detached long before I was thinking PA, as well I did some digging on weather or not he was a serial cheater, lots of random investigating. It came back clean. Gates open." Lil', You did Not just say this.... Read what you wrote again. Out Loud. Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I have a friend whose husband cheated on her for 3 years. He told the other woman that his wife was fat, ugly, unable to have children, a gold digger, knows about his affair, lazy and doesn't care as long as the money flows in, a complete bitch and universally hated. All typed out in black and white via (not) so secret email. She is however a former NFL cheerleader and still looks it, bore him a son (now age 16), owns two companies while he was unemployed for the last 5 years of their marriage, would have shot his ass if she knew about the affair, runs marathons, brought home very high six figures, gave out 4 scholarships a year to poor mothers who had good grades in high school but never went to college for whatever reason. She was given a "key to the city" by our Mayor for her tireless work and charity with runaway children/child prostitutes/trafficked children. No wonder her (former) husband had to paint her as Golum. He on his best day couldn't measure up to her. Funny, he married her because back in the day he admired and revered every single thing she is now. Wow, how crazy! But, how did a woman with that much going for her settle for such a, um, what shall we call him? Let's just say, "someone so much different than she was." What did he have that made her want to marry him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 lil' wrote, " I'll share but I'm greedy... I made sure he was and has been emotionally detached long before I was thinking PA, as well I did some digging on weather or not he was a serial cheater, lots of random investigating. It came back clean. Gates open." Lil', You did Not just say this.... Read what you wrote again. Out Loud. that sounds horrible when I read it again, lol. wow. I did do some digging on him, which all came up favorable, my guard was down.. the PA gate was opened Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I dont know if that sounds any better, but more like what I was thinking Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Lil, %#*&!!! You are SO incredibly hard to dislike. Lol* I think that's why I am thankful you post honestly in hopes that you CAN RE-read some of the things you actually say w/authentic reflection. Does that mean you'll change your mind?? I HOPE SO! Eventually. maybe... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I try to take the stance, I deserve more, but then it seems he gives more. I'm not a complainer by nature... these crumbs are plentiful and possibly sadly (?) the best meal I ever ate. The way he looks at me even kills me... Maybe, no probably I'm better off without him, I just cant willingly make him go. Link to post Share on other sites
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