Ms_Sweetness Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 What should I do. My ex, whom I think I still love got a girl preganant. Doesn't sound so bad, huh? Well let me give you the story. My ex and I had been together for about 1 yr when one day some female calls to inform me that she is pregnant with my ex's baby. He never denied it and for awhile the two of them were living together.(we were obviously broken up by then). Well it has been a yr since she's had the baby and he wants me back. He put her out while they were living together. I just don't know what to do because now that they have a child together they will always be a part of one another and that tears me up. Please help LS!! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Originally posted by Ms_Sweetness What should I do. My ex, whom I think I still love got a girl preganant. Doesn't sound so bad, huh? Well let me give you the story. My ex and I had been together for about 1 yr when one day some female calls to inform me that she is pregnant with my ex's baby. At the time was he still your bf? He never denied it and for awhile the two of them were living together.(we were obviously broken up by then). Well it has been a yr since she's had the baby and he wants me back. He put her out while they were living together. I just don't know what to do because now that they have a child together they will always be a part of one another and that tears me up. Please help LS!! Either way you put it he was a jerk!!!!!! To both of you, not just her. What guarantees you that he won't do it again? What guarantees you that he will not leave you after to go back to her? Does it not break your heart that he did this to you? Analize everything carefully and ask yourself if he is worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 well did you ever resolve with him why he was messing around with another woman while dating you. I know you can't possibly be the line " I'm sorry sweetie, it was an accident, she fell down and my dick fell in" sorry thats my ex b/fs excuse not yours. All kidding aside only you and your ex know if you can really get back together. You need to really do some serious thinking and soul searching. This day and time it is to dangerous to be with someone that can't keep it in his pants. sorry there I go again. Just remember to think about what is best for you. I would also advise him to agree to be tested for all STDs before you take him back. These are just my opinions. I don't know the full story so please don't be offended by my bluntness. I just know that I once had a b/f that had a history of messing around on his g/fs but dumb young Kat thought he wouldn't do it to me WRONG. In my opinion he should have to work and beg a lot to even have you consider taking him back. Take of you first. I know you will do the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Thanks guys and yes we were together when he got the girl pregnant. She actually knew about me the entire time that they were messing around. I now feel like one of those females that I called stupid for even considering taking a guy back after cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Thanks guys and yes we were together when he got the girl pregnant. She actually knew about me the entire time that they were messing around. I now feel like one of those females that I called stupid for even considering taking a guy back after cheating. I was away at college when he cheated and he says that he really doesn't know why he did it, he thinks it may be because I wasn't there Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 There really is no excuse for cheating. Belive me I know!!! Let her deal with him now. I'm sure you deserve someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Well it has been a yr since she's had the baby and he wants me back. He put her out while they were living together. I just don't know what to do because now that they have a child together they will always be a part of one another and that tears me up. Please help LS!! Let's look at this objectively. 1. He gets a girl pregnant while he's dating you. 2. He's now broken up with the girl who's the mother of his child. Hardly marriage material. It sounds like he needs to grow up and establish himself as a father and as a man first before becoming involved in a relationship. He's both dishonest and unreliable, neither of which make for a good mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 If you get back wiht that guy I will fly down there and slap the silly out of you. Guy is a piece of trash and isn't worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 This guy has given you more than enough evidence to prove that he's a lousy partner & probably not a great father to boot. Enter at your own risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Thanks for the insight this is all true. He doesn't even mention his child and only sees the child when she's brought to his house. I don't need that. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 God, what a scumbag. Link to post Share on other sites
JoL Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 This guy, who is suppose to love you, cheated on you, got another girl pregnant while with you, and could have potentially exposed you to STDs. Now he has dumped the mother of his child and the child, and wants you back..? Bad bad news...don't even think about going back! he doesnt love you- he is bored with his new girlfriend and wants a new challenge, and low and behold his ex-gf who still has feelings for him is still around. Dont be silly girl, stay away from this loser..far away Link to post Share on other sites
whoknows Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Wow, he kicked the mother of his child (and with her I assume the child!!) out, and you're worried about wanting him back? Egads. Any man who does that to his own child is an ass. Get rid of him permanently. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 sweetness, I wholeheartedly agree with amerikajin and weird. I know it's tough to see it right now because maybe you need validation, but this guy is a dirtbag. How do I know? Cos I dated a guy not far off from yours. If you write it down on paper and take all emotion out of it, this guy is not good in relationships, isn't respectful and is NOT dating material much less marriage material. you'd be doing yourself a favor by letting him go torture some other unsuspecting girl. At least the one he knocked up knew the score because she participated in teh betrayal. Don't be that girl that loses all confidence in herself because she chose to settle for less. There's far far better out there I promise you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 11, 2004 Author Share Posted November 11, 2004 Thanks so much everyone, I love you guys. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I do deserve better and will let him go ASAP. Any suggestions as to what I should tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
kimmyj Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I was with my x for about 8 years. we broke up a month ago...and he told me he found out that someone he cheated on me with a few times..is five months pregnant. he was n't seeing her relationship wise they were just "****ing" so he says. He plans to take full- responsibility if the baby is his...but I am torn. I love this man...he cheated on me sooo many times when we were young and I figured that BS was over and that he was finally maturing and becoming the man I deserve...then i find out this ****! I love him and I want to be there for him but I am not sure if I can get over him cheating on me and cheating me out of being the woman to give him his first baby boy. I am praying for a resolution. And yes it is easy for everyine to say just leave him...blah...blah but when you love someone so purely like I do you need more than that.... Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 kimmy, i believe the question isn't whether you love him, but whether you love him more than you love yourself. I don't know any woman who tells herself romantically that she wants to be another Halle Berry. Beautiful, successful and adored yet treated like a laundry maid. For me there has never a man I love that much... Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 kimmy, the guy is a piece of ****. I pray that you see that and won't be with this guy. He wont change his ways and all you will end up doing is being his little toy that he can play with and screw over. guys like him give guys in general a bad rap and it makes good guys like me get screwed over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 That's exactly how I feel Kimmy, I love him and am mad that I we wil never experience the joy of having our first kids together. He calls everyday now and swears he is sorry. but I can't bring myself to believe him. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Don't fall for it. He will never change. I haven't heard of a story where a guy like this does. Why stay with someone that will never stop cheating on you? This is an opportunity for you to escape this situation and find someone else with less baggage and that treats you right. Trust me you will be glad you did if you get away from this. Life will be so much easier if you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Cupcake Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 I remember when I was in a similar situation and this site was excellent at giving me the extra boost I needed to re-build my confidence in myself and get rid of a loser. Since you love him, it may not be easy to just forget about him, no matter how badly he treats you. It really does help to write everything down and actually see the facts about him. My ex also had a child from a previous relationship. We had an LDR and he used the child as the reason he couldn't relocate to be near me when his company offered him a great position in my area. Of course, my ex only visited his child once every 1 or 2 months, for just a few hours of one day. And the child only lived a few miles away from him. Sad to say, but he saw me (800 miles away) more often than he saw his own child. Clearly, that should have been my warning that this man was unreliable. Despite how well he spoke of his child, his actions proved he was a deadbeat and selfish father. And despite how much he said he loved me, his actions proved that he didn't. No, these kind of men don't usually change. It's better to stay away. Your heart will hurt for a while, but love will definately heal it. For me, I still haven't found a man who loves me. But I love myself. And that is the first step to loving anyone, or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 That is so true cupcake because since I have been writing the situation down and explaining here on LS it is much easier to see what a loser he really is. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 I do deserve better and will let him go ASAP. Any suggestions as to what I should tell him? Ummm....anything will do...either: 1) You suck, scumbag, get the f**k away from me, don't get near me ever again or you will be sorry, I'm so disgusted with your low life behavior, OR 2) Darling, this just isn't working out. Let's agree to be friends only from now on. Doesn't really matter what you tell HIM...what matters is that you let YOURSELF know that it is over. He cooked it...you can stick the fork in any ole time now. Link to post Share on other sites
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