I'm trying to figure out if the friendship we're working on now is good or bad.

[orlandob]

Okay. My ex dropped me because she wasn't happy in the relationship (she felt that I was not spending enough time with her). She's filled the time we used to spend together hanging out with several groups of friends, and has told me that she does not want to get back together with me right now because she is happy with her life right now and does not want to risk being unhappy. I still want to be her friend (which she wants as well) and want to give her reminders now and then that I would go out with her again. Is this just shooting myself in the foot emotionally, or does it sound like a plan? I'm 21, she's 19.

 

P.S. - We talked for awhile today and I basically served the role of emotional support. Don't know if that's good or bad.

[Pocky]

Let the prospect of a future relationship rest for a while. You need to rebuild your friendship. Start there and if things change and you two find yourself in a situation where you are still interested in a relationship then approach the subject.

[alphamale]

The is only one circumstance where anyone should stay friends with an ex:

 

WHEN YOU HAVE A KID(S) TOGETHER.

 

Except for the above reason you should nEver ever stay friends with any ex!

 

There are many reasons for this but time precludes me from listing them.

[zoya_j]

Boy, i'd surelike to hear those reasons when you have time

[pancakepalace]

If you decide to stay friends, don't use the friendship as a way to get her back. It needs to be a true friendship built on trust and good-times. I highly discourage you to give her tips here and there about you wanting to be back with her. The best way would be for you to say it once very clearly and respect her decision either way. After you have said this, repeating it would only mean you do not respect her decision to only be friends. Take time and heal yourself. You are very young so this is no big deal even though it seems like it now.