TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Alright, gonna try make this sweet and simple. I met a girl online around 9 months ago, we started chatting and eventually fell for one another. We're planning on meeting around Christmas for the 1st time, seen other on webcam etc, so she's real. We're both in our mid 20's. It was all going perfect until 2 months ago when she joined a new forum. She told me about it as she's honest with me about everything. She started spending less time with me since then. I wanted to talk to her about it but she's a little emotional and every time I talk to her, she ends up crying, so the last thing I wanna do is hurt her feelings. Anyway, I secretly joined the forum too and found out that she's talking to people there, but a friendly chat. I have no idea how but she found out that I had a profile there. She sent a message on that forum saying "we need to have a little chat". I responded saying "about" & she said "I think you know what's it about". I did reply saying "I dont" and she left it at that. We haven't spoken since and it's been 2 days. She know's its me. Tbh, I wasn't stalking her, I wanted to know what she was up to. I am scared I'm gonna lose her. I am gonna try talk to her tomorrow, but I'm really worried that she might end it. I don't want to lose this girl.. Please help me! All advice is welcome. P.s. I'm not some freak, I've had gf's, real ones in my own city but I really like this girl and I want to be with her. The reason I checked up on her is because I feel like she's drifting away and that forum is the reason. What do I do now?? Help me plz
HeavenOrHell Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 >Tbh, I wasn't stalking her, I wanted to know what she was up to. I am scared I'm gonna lose her. < This is exactly what stalking is Why are you creeping around in secret spying on her? For what reason?? 2
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 >Tbh, I wasn't stalking her, I wanted to know what she was up to. I am scared I'm gonna lose her. < This is exactly what stalking is Why are you creeping around in secret spying on her? For what reason?? Because I'm a f*ckin idiot. I know I shouldn't have. I was keeping an eye on her because I wanted to know why she was drifting apart. It felt like I was losing her & now I think I will.. What do I do now? Any advice on that?
aussietigerwolf Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Because I'm a f*ckin idiot. I know I shouldn't have. I was keeping an eye on her because I wanted to know why she was drifting apart. It felt like I was losing her & now I think I will.. tell her exactly that... 4
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 tell her exactly that... Errrrmmmm, what?
aussietigerwolf Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Errrrmmmm, what? well you could admit you did something stupid out of fear of losing her or... you could just make up some excuse. personally though i'd take the first one better. 2
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 well you could admit you did something stupid out of fear of losing her or... you could just make up some excuse. personally though i'd take the first one better. Hmmmm, well the first one is the truth, I am afraid of losing her. I'll be honest with her, I've never lied to her till date and I don't want to. Thank you for the advice I now need to see whether she'll talk to me.. I'm such a f*ckin idiot lol.
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You should be honest with her, you got caught following up on her.. own it... On a side note.. I would also wonder how she knew it was you and busted you.. does she have access to your email ? does she have access to the profile info and emails of that forum ? Hope it works out.. chances are though that she is moving on.. try being honest.. speak with her and go from there.
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 You should be honest with her, you got caught following up on her.. own it... On a side note.. I would also wonder how she knew it was you and busted you.. does she have access to your email ? does she have access to the profile info and emails of that forum ? Hope it works out.. chances are though that she is moving on.. try being honest.. speak with her and go from there. I will be honest with her. I'm not too sure how she found out but it doesn't really matter. Nope, she doesn't have access to my email or profile info. The forum is quite small so maybe that's a give away.. Maybe.. Thanks for the advice, I hope me and her talk & it works out..
justwhoiam Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Mistake #1: You signed up on that forum without creating a new email account expressly for that purpose Mistake #2: She contacted you through the forum and you freaked out Maybe you can learn the lesson for a next time, should another stalking opportunity arise... Best way to make it up to me: acknowledge you stalked me because you're crazy for me and noticed my apparent increasing, worrisome lack of interest in you... supported by slowed down communication, and that led to the fear of losing me blah blah... 1
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Mistake #1: You signed up on that forum without creating a new email account expressly for that purpose Mistake #2: She contacted you through the forum and you freaked out Maybe you can learn the lesson for a next time, should another stalking opportunity arise... Best way to make it up to me: acknowledge you stalked me because you're crazy for me and noticed my apparent increasing, worrisome lack of interest in you... supported by slowed down communication, and that led to the fear of losing me blah blah... I disagree with the "mistake 1 & 2" - I should've never signed up to the forum in the 1st place. I'm man enough to admit I was wrong and will be man enough to be completely honest with her.. I am crazy about her And I think it's obvious lol.. Thank you for the advice, much appreciated. 1
justwhoiam Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I disagree with the "mistake 1 & 2" - I should've never signed up to the forum in the 1st place. I know I'm putting my foot in my mouth by saying this... but, a man should do something crazy out of love now and then... I'm sure it's all good to have a man who can trust you... but also good when he cares enough to not want to lose you... But you don't do it anymore of course... I don't like being spied like that. I need my space and freedom. 2
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I know I'm putting my foot in my mouth by saying this... but, a man should do something crazy out of love now and then... I'm sure it's all good to have a man who can trust you... but also good when he cares enough to not want to lose you... But you don't do it anymore of course... I don't like being spied like that. I need my space and freedom. Hahaha, that's really sweet And I think I've done quite a few things for her, considered "crazy out of love" i.e. standing outside in the winter (whilst it's snowing), just to talk to her.. I couldn't get reception indoors and of course through out the conversation, she kept telling me to go back inside.. Yeah, if she forgives me and still wants me, I won't do it no more
justwhoiam Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I've done quite a few things for her, considered "crazy out of love" i.e. standing outside in the winter (whilst it's snowing), just to talk to her.. I couldn't get reception indoors and of course through out the conversation, she kept telling me to go back inside.. Yeah... that's the kind of stuff that can go a long way with me......... women are all different, but I'm sure they can be very alike on some things...
Author TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Yeah... that's the kind of stuff that can go a long way with me......... women are all different, but I'm sure they can be very alike on some things... I know it was a big thing for her and she still remembers it, everytime I call her, one of the 1st questions that she does ask me is if I'm outside & threatens to cut the phone on me if I ever called her like that again lol.. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I agree; be up front with her and tell her why you did it..
tru Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 well you could admit you did something stupid out of fear of losing her or... you could just make up some excuse. personally though i'd take the first one better. how would she take to you spying even if it was because you were affraid losing her. Wouldn't it be better to play safe and not say anything. Are there girls who might find it cool?
His Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 We all make silly mistakes that look harmless at first. You were checking up on her. Maybe you felt she was out there looking for another guy. I don't know. Apologize and be sincere. LDR can cause trust issues and that's why we both know each others passwords to everything. He used to stalk my page like it was his job. I ended up deleting social media since it caused us trouble.
ThisGal Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) Any updates?? Wondering how you two haven't met yet and are waiting until December, which is still kind of a while from now... Are you in diff states? Countries? It's been 9 months, almost a year of communicating. Better to meet after a month or 2 than to prolong this meet; interacting online and interacting in person is completely different, no matter how well everything is going online. Being face-to-face is a whole different experience. You don't want to get too emotionally invested without meeting at least once in person. Anyway, hope you two have resolved your issue. Edited August 30, 2013 by ThisGal
Author TheOne25 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 how would she take to you spying even if it was because you were affraid losing her. Wouldn't it be better to play safe and not say anything. Are there girls who might find it cool? How could I have not said anything? She know's it me and wants an explanation, not giving an explanation would really make me look like a stalker..
Author TheOne25 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 We all make silly mistakes that look harmless at first. You were checking up on her. Maybe you felt she was out there looking for another guy. I don't know. Apologize and be sincere. LDR can cause trust issues and that's why we both know each others passwords to everything. He used to stalk my page like it was his job. I ended up deleting social media since it caused us trouble. I was only checking up on her to see where she was spending all her time, and I got my answer.. I have apologised, but things aren't the same now.
Author TheOne25 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Any updates?? Wondering how you two haven't met yet and are waiting until December, which is still kind of a while from now... Are you in diff states? Countries? It's been 9 months, almost a year of communicating. Better to meet after a month or 2 than to prolong this meet; interacting online and interacting in person is completely different, no matter how well everything is going online. Being face-to-face is a whole different experience. You don't want to get too emotionally invested without meeting at least once in person. Anyway, hope you two have resolved your issue. Yep, she forgave me but she is now uncomfortable because of what I did.. She's from Aus, I'm from the UK, so it's a long way to say the least lol. If she was closer, I'd have met her by now.
Author TheOne25 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Just wanna say thank you to eveyone who helped and gave advice & shared opinions. To update, we spoke about it & she forgave me but things aren't the same now.. I need advice on how to get things back to normal. I've posted a thread titled "How do I win her love back" - all advice/opinions are welcome. Cheers
saltyfishhead666 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) Alright, gonna try make this sweet and simple. I met a girl online around 9 months ago, we started chatting and eventually fell for one another. We're planning on meeting around Christmas for the 1st time, seen other on webcam etc, so she's real. We're both in our mid 20's. It was all going perfect until 2 months ago when she joined a new forum. She told me about it as she's honest with me about everything. She started spending less time with me since then. I wanted to talk to her about it but she's a little emotional and every time I talk to her, she ends up crying, so the last thing I wanna do is hurt her feelings. Anyway, I secretly joined the forum too and found out that she's talking to people there, but a friendly chat. I have no idea how but she found out that I had a profile there. She sent a message on that forum saying "we need to have a little chat". I responded saying "about" & she said "I think you know what's it about". I did reply saying "I dont" and she left it at that. We haven't spoken since and it's been 2 days. She know's its me. Tbh, I wasn't stalking her, I wanted to know what she was up to. I am scared I'm gonna lose her. I am gonna try talk to her tomorrow, but I'm really worried that she might end it. I don't want to lose this girl.. Please help me! All advice is welcome. P.s. I'm not some freak, I've had gf's, real ones in my own city but I really like this girl and I want to be with her. The reason I checked up on her is because I feel like she's drifting away and that forum is the reason. What do I do now?? Help me plz That sucks, at least you know your wrong. Although if she's making such a fuss over something this silly maybe she has something to hide Edited September 2, 2013 by mummyjonno Spelling
spiderowl Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 If she ended up crying when you tried to talk to her on several occasions, then she wasn't exactly happy with the questions you were asking or with being involved with you. She was moving away in several senses. It's not difficult to spot familiar patterns of communcation, phrases, and so on, so I guess she quickly realised you had joined the same forum. While we might all 'google' a potential girlfriend/guy we meet, to see what, if anything, is online about them, joining the same forums to keep an eye on them is a different matter. She's entitled to privacy. It sounds like she's wanting to let this relationship fizzle out but daren't say so. Rather than trying to make her come round to your point of view, let her go and don't follow her around online. It is stalking if you get into doing that.
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