Share your thoughts for me

[falalala]

So let's get straight into things.

 

We both met online sometime the beginning of July last month. Everything for us have been moving very quickly, we both know it, and till now we only knew each other for about a month and a half, but it honestly feels like we've known each other for a very, very long time.

 

I didn't wait for long to initiate a phone call after only writing to each other for a few days, ever since, we made sure that we get on the phone and talk to each other everyday, and we would do it for about 4-6 hours each time, while we go about doing our stuffs, we did the occasional video calls too, and before you know it, we've both fell for each other very quickly.

 

We're both of same nationality, but he's an expat in a neighbouring country, just graduated and we're about 5 hours drive apart from each other. HE did mention that he would eventually move back to his home country (which is about 30mins away from my home). 2 weeks of constant phone and video calls went by, and we agreed to meetup one day since I was also visiting the country he was in at the time, so I thought why not? I was really nervous at first but it got better, and found out that we clicked really well in real life, and found it amazing how we've gotten this far.

 

We thought that would be the first and last time we'll ever see each other in person, then we thought we'd give it a shot to see how far this can go for us, and after that, we thought we'd give it a shot and went official and we still call each other everyday. We grew closer and closer together and I've decided to fly down to see him 3 weeks after we last met, and stayed with him for 4 days, and I can safely say that those were some of the best days of my life and I'll never forget how happy he has made me feel. We got along very well, and I really don't want to see this coming to an end if it need not be. Both our circle of friends said that they have never seen us this way before.

 

.. but everything has been moving so quickly for the both of us and things always feels rushed between us, because in just about two days, I'm gonna create a much greater distance between us as I'm flying off half a world away to continue my second year in uni, and I have another 2 years to go. I come home every winter and summer break though, winter's a month long and summer's 4 months long.

 

We barely knew each other for 2 months, we met online, but have also met up in person a couple of times, fell so in love with each other, and we both know that we have never been this happy with anyone before. He has been in relationships, but he told me that I was his first love, and he's not saying it just for the sake of being in the moment and whatnot, and he has never felt this happy in a very long time. He says he has never felt so differently about a person before, and it's a good different. He told me he was feeling down for a very long time, as he has a lot of bullcrap to deal with in his life, and from the way that he has described them all to me, I think I'd understand why too., and that me showing up in his life has changed things significantly for him, even his parents noticed the difference. I have never been in a relationship before, but at the same time I have never felt so sure about someone as well too. It really is crazy how we've come this far, and I can't help but say again how quickly things were moving between us. We're so new into this, yet we're about to be separated by such a great distance.

 

It was so hard leaving him at the airport, because he realized that he couldn't do distance, it was nothing personal, it was really just the distance, and I know I couldn't too, yet we couldn't just cut things off like that, so we've decided to end our relationship there and remain as friends instead and keep in touch once in a while, and maybe if we ever meet up again in the future, when the time is right and when things are set straight, we could have a shot at us again.

 

And the thing about knowing someone through the net is that, they can delete you off their life just as easily as how they've found you online.

 

The problem for me now is, you know you can't just revert back to a platonic friendship after all that has happened, but at the same time, I can't just cut him off my life like that, we both still feel so strongly about each other, but I'm going to be 12 hours time difference away for another 3 years! (I'll be back for a few months every year of course) Oh and we only knew each other for about a month and a half. He say no matter what happens, I have made a significant change to him and that I kind of brought him back to life and showed him the light. Everything happens for a reason, and there must be something more to this than that. We're both not ready to let go, yet the situation's too complicated.

 

Thoughts, anyone? It's so all over the place T_T Please be constructive with your comments I appreciate all your efforts.

Edited August 22, 2013 by falalala

[justwhoiam]

My thoughts:

 

a) What was the need of breaking up something that didn't even start? I don't get it...

 

b) Given point a), it's clear that it was his way to prevent anything from starting with you,

 

c) and point b) leads me to think that *after* meeting you he made up his mind that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

 

Meeting up can be eye-opening... in ways you couldn't imagine. And this is not the first case that this happens. So, what should you do now? That's entirely up to you, but if it were me, I would tell him something along these lines:

 

Things moved really quickly between us, and we progressed getting to know each other as quicky as we got apart. By then, my feelings for you had grown already. So I guess this is not a good starting point for a mere friendship.

I'm sure you'll understand my position now. And this is why I think it's time for me to wish you all the best in your life for any achievement you wish to see in your future.

 

A respectable closure, isn't it?

[falalala]

Hey justwhoiam, thanks for the response.

 

We felt really strongly about each other upon the first meetup in person two weeks into our first chat on the phone, and he said he wants to give us a shot and we started a relationship the day after.

 

3 weeks after we've been officially 'together', he told me he wasn't sure if distance was his thing as he can be a needy person and I understand that, but we went on and see how far we'd go anyways. I just got back from spending 4 whole days with him last weekend, like we finally get to spend some time together before I fly off for my studies. He said he has been thinking and wouldn't know how to take the greater distance and time difference after I leave for my studies, so we decided to end our relationship the moment we part ways at the airport that day, and now we're here.

 

I guess he would've said the same thing to me as well, thing is we both can't imagine our lives without each other, at least for now. Aih.

[justwhoiam]

All my points are still very valid and applying to your case.