atomicdog Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 (edited) So here's me: * Work full-time in finance (as a programmer, but I don't tell girls that, and I'm paid massive rates because of how specialized I am). Like my job a lot, and am quite involved in the social scene at work too. * Live in shared accommodation with a bunch of people of varying ages. Hang out, eat, drink, etc. with them. Occasionally have some weed too. * Do a lot of weights and running, and I'm beginning to get more buff. * Dress pretty sharp. * Love to travel. Would often get into conversations with attractive women when I was in Europe. * My nerdy side (which I try to keep secret from women I'm trying to date): I love 19th century romantic symphonies, I'm obsessed with philosophy and curious about social theory, and I'm working on a small business idea in my spare time. Is this bad-boy enough? If not, what am I missing? Would it work if I just suddenly went out and got tattoos and piercings and a bike? Or would it just kind of look silly? What's wrong with this image? Edited August 22, 2013 by atomicdog Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 A true bad boy does not try to be one he just is. As a matter of fact he will try to hide that he is a bad boy. The best thing you can be is yourself, whoever that is and from what you describe above, you sound like a good catch. Good Luck! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Faith13/2 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 So here's me: * Work full-time in finance (as a programmer, but I don't tell girls that, and I'm paid massive rates because of how specialized I am). Like my job a lot, and am quite involved in the social scene at work too. * Live in shared accommodation with a bunch of people of varying ages. Hang out, eat, drink, etc. with them. Occasionally have some weed too. * Do a lot of weights and running, and I'm beginning to get more buff. * Dress pretty sharp. * Love to travel. Would often get into conversations with attractive women when I was in Europe. * My nerdy side (which I try to keep secret from women I'm trying to date): I love 19th century romantic symphonies, I'm obsessed with philosophy and curious about social theory, and I'm working on a small business idea in my spare time. Is this bad-boy enough? If not, what am I missing? Would it work if I just suddenly went out and got tattoos and piercings and a bike? Or would it just kind of look silly? What's wrong with this image? Why exactly are you looking for the 'bad boy' title? You seem like a well rounded guy who likes to have fun to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 You're hardcore. Really though, who cares? Just be yourself and what makes you happy. Why keep anything secret anyways? The best way to find the best potential mate is to just be open and let them get to know you. On the first date with my fiancee I told her how easy it would be to hide a body in the lake we were at. If she couldn't handle my morbid sense of humor it just wasn't going to work. Didn't scare her off and because we were both open we found out quickly if we were going to be compatible or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 A true bad boy does not try to be one he just is. If that's true, then I can't be a bad boy while still being who I really am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Why keep anything secret anyways? The best way to find the best potential mate is to just be open and let them get to know you. Except that my target demographic (attractive white women under 27) aren't really into that stuff, which is why I should probably hide it. Link to post Share on other sites
Faith13/2 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 If that's true, then I can't be a bad boy while still being who I really am. I think what that post was trying to suggest is that you can't just be a bad boy. A bad boy is something that you are, not something that you force upon yourself. I personally think you sound like a good guy, and I wouldn't try to be anyone you're not when it seems what you are is quite good by itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 I think what that post was trying to suggest is that you can't just be a bad boy. A bad boy is something that you are, not something that you force upon yourself. I personally think you sound like a good guy, and I wouldn't try to be anyone you're not when it seems what you are is quite good by itself. Thanks and I like and admire who I am and who I aspire to be. Unfortunately if my target demographic of women want something different, then I can't just "be" that thing. This means that I'm pretty much doomed to failure with my target demographic of women. Link to post Share on other sites
Faith13/2 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Thanks and I like and admire who I am and who I aspire to be. Unfortunately if my target demographic of women want something different, then I can't just "be" that thing. This means that I'm pretty much doomed to failure with my target demographic of women. I would think you'd want to be with women who appreciate you for what you are and have to offer, not by what persona you tend to reflect. Just my thoughts. I understand you have a certain type of woman in mind though and it's great to have standards. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Except that my target demographic (attractive white women under 27) aren't really into that stuff, which is why I should probably hide it. Who cares what some of these women may want? I'll never understand hiding things when trying to attract a compatible mate. Stop trying to be something else and show happiness and confidence with who you are. Women never ran from my house full of Mr. Potato heads when they came over. My demographic was the same. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 If that's true, then I can't be a bad boy while still being who I really am. You aren't a bad boy. If you were you wouldn't be asking. Just be you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_raptor Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 So here's me: * Work full-time in finance (as a programmer, but I don't tell girls that, and I'm paid massive rates because of how specialized I am). Like my job a lot, and am quite involved in the social scene at work too. * Live in shared accommodation with a bunch of people of varying ages. Hang out, eat, drink, etc. with them. Occasionally have some weed too. * Do a lot of weights and running, and I'm beginning to get more buff. * Dress pretty sharp. * Love to travel. Would often get into conversations with attractive women when I was in Europe. * My nerdy side (which I try to keep secret from women I'm trying to date): I love 19th century romantic symphonies, I'm obsessed with philosophy and curious about social theory, and I'm working on a small business idea in my spare time. Is this bad-boy enough? If not, what am I missing? Would it work if I just suddenly went out and got tattoos and piercings and a bike? Or would it just kind of look silly? What's wrong with this image? What's wrong with this image is that you seem to be a well-rounded, interesting and fun person to date, who is trying to change into something they're not. Which is pretty much the ultimate turn off. This is coming from a white woman who is under 27 , btw. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 What's wrong with this image is that you seem to be a well-rounded, interesting and fun person to date, who is trying to change into something they're not. Which is pretty much the ultimate turn off. This is what you and I would like to believe, but it doesn't reflect reality. Reality is a pretty ugly place, in case you haven't noticed. The things that turn women on are pretty sick and twisted. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_raptor Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 This is what you and I would like to believe, but it doesn't reflect reality. Reality is a pretty ugly place, in case you haven't noticed. The things that turn women on are pretty sick and twisted. While I agree some of the things that do turn me on can be considered sick or twisted, I'm pretty sure being a bad boy isn't one of them. Confidence, however, is. Bad boys can come off as confident, and that's attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 So here's me: * Work full-time in finance (as a programmer, but I don't tell girls that, and I'm paid massive rates because of how specialized I am). Like my job a lot, and am quite involved in the social scene at work too. * Live in shared accommodation with a bunch of people of varying ages. Hang out, eat, drink, etc. with them. Occasionally have some weed too. * Do a lot of weights and running, and I'm beginning to get more buff. * Dress pretty sharp. * Love to travel. Would often get into conversations with attractive women when I was in Europe. * My nerdy side (which I try to keep secret from women I'm trying to date): I love 19th century romantic symphonies, I'm obsessed with philosophy and curious about social theory, and I'm working on a small business idea in my spare time. Is this bad-boy enough? If not, what am I missing? Would it work if I just suddenly went out and got tattoos and piercings and a bike? Or would it just kind of look silly? What's wrong with this image? Sound impressive. BUT none of this tells anyone about your character or personality. If you're having problems with your demographic target, take a look that those two characteristics and ask yourself why the problems? Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 You seem insecure, OP. And you seem to have an agenda. "Be like THAT guy and all the women will flock to me!!" Ugh. A sharp person will see right through you like a hot knife thru butter. Also, that long list of yours tells us what you do...not who you ARE. The latter carries more weight in being able to connect with other people, and in attraction. Just be yourself. Not some persona or silly archetype. Most "bad boys" were like that ever since they were very young. The signs were probably there during childhood. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 Just be yourself. Not some persona or silly archetype. But it's often the personas and archetypes that get laid, if they're convincing enough. I've been "myself" for a long time and it hasn't really gotten the results I wanted. So I guess myself isn't that attractive to the women I want, so I have to change (or at least put on a facade) in order to attract the right women. Most "bad boys" were like that ever since they were very young. The signs were probably there during childhood. In other words, just give up, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 Sound impressive. BUT none of this tells anyone about your character or personality. It's difficult to communicate that kind of thing on a forum. You'd have to get to know me in person. Personality is probably the most excruciatingly difficult thing to fake. That's why I wish women didn't care so much about it. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 If you want to be a 'bad boy' learn how to dress well, lie to get laid and don't give a ****. The motorcycle, tattoos, weight lifting will help but that is the gist of it. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Also, that long list of yours tells us what you do...not who you ARE. The latter carries more weight in being able to connect with other people, and in attraction. I kinda think he was being sarcastic or trolling but I agree with what you said...the whole thing goes beyond the "sum of his parts"... Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 The things that turn women on are pretty sick and twisted. Sounds like fun. What kind of sick and twisted things have you found that turn women on? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 bad boy can mean many different things, but u become one from life experiences not by trying to be one. no your not even close to being one, nor will you ever be in your life. be thankful, because you can land and keep a good woman. and while it is true that most all women love bad boys, they do for about 6-12 months... then they get out because its more than they want or expected. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 be thankful, because you can land and keep a good woman. and while it is true that most all women love bad boys, they do for about 6-12 months... then they get out because its more than they want or expected. I think I'll end up being just as lonely as the bad boys, because I haven't found any women who I find attractive beyond the physical. Women just aren't into the kind of things I'm into. Most women don't like classical music or deep philosophical discussions or just chilling out and doing absolutely nothing. Anyway I guess some people just lose out in the dating game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 Why is your demographic so important? Because I'm just not sexually attracted to women who are obese or over 30 or taller than me. If I have to work extra-hard to get the better looking women, I'm happy to. But it sucks that women are so caught up on personality. That means that no matter how hard I work, I can never really be good enough for the good looking women, because faking a whole personality is just too difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atomicdog Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 Do you play by the rules or make your own rules? Are you sexually aggressive? Do you go after what you want? These kind of questions annoy me because they're so abstract. Do I make my own rules? Yes and no. Yes because I knew what career I wanted early on and chose it; I'm fiercely independent of the companies I work for, and I'll leave one in an instant to get a better deal at another; I don't waste money on the crap most people do, instead I buy things that interest and matter to me; I like to vacation by myself and go wherever I feel like, often without a plan; I listen to vastly different music than most people. No in that I do have a full-time job, I generally adhere to social conventions and norms, (e.g. I don't suddenly yell "whore!" at women on the street), I dress well, etc. But I wonder if any of this is even relevant anyway. What do women mean by "bad boy"? They're not really referring to noble characteristics like independence, pride, intelligence. What they really mean is a guy who fits the conventional, socially accepted definition of what a "bad boy" is - e.g. ridiculously petty superficialities like riding a bike or having tattoos. What women really want isn't a bad boy, but a guy who fits the right kind of social mould. Really, a guy could fit the "bad boy" image to a T and still be the most pathetic conformist when it comes to his actual personality and interests. Link to post Share on other sites
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