Steven33 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Hi there, my girlfriend of 3.5 years has just left to work on a cruiseline for 9months...she has been there now almost 2months and this is the 1st time we doing this Longdistance thing...otherwise we been living with each other..... She had became best friends with one of the staff members she works with, he happens to be a guy... He is also told her that he likes her but she told him she has a Boyfriend so he backed off and was no longer interested.....I saw that they been doing a lot together, leave the ship together and tour the places they dock at and there are always pics of the two of them together....made me feel a little uncomfortable, so I started asking questions...eventually it came out that she and this guy have been watching movies together at night, she will go to his room or his to hers...and they would lie down on those single cabin beds together and watch movies, and she only knew him for a month......she says nothing happened, I just find it hard to believe after 4nights of doing this he would not atleast try to make a move, I mean he does like her...was sooo hurt and betrayed after hearing this...we almost broke up...still upsets me when I think about it...I mean you don't get into bed with a guy no matter what when you in a relationship....she refused to take a break from each other and still loves me....cant help but think if something happened that night..hate it that she is still there and so is he.....not the jealous type at all but there is a line.... Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I was good until the fact that they have been laying in bed together. Not saying that anything has or will happen, but the two of you need to develop what the boundaries are. Would she be ok with you laying in bed watching movies with another woman? It's fine to have opposite sex friends, but the two of you need to discuss what the two of you are uncomfortable with and how to accomidate each others wishes in this long distance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheOne25 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I agree with the post above, it was all good until the "bed" bit. It is crossing a line, there's no doubt about that. If nothing's happened, there is a possibilty it will. I'm sorry man, I know I'm not helping but that is the truth.. Or we could all be wrong & she could be faithful, I hope that is the case. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I started asking questions...eventually it came out that she and this guy have been watching movies together at night, she will go to his room or his to hers...and they would lie down on those single cabin beds together and watch movies, and she only knew him for a month ... I just find it hard to believe after 4nights of doing this he would not atleast try to make a move 1) You started asking questions a bit too late, after one month of this. 2) As soon as you were told what was going on, one would expect you tell her to immediately stop: did you? I guess not. 3) The time and experiences they are sharing *outside* their cabins created the bond between the two of them: that must stop too. It doesn't mean she can't do anything with him anymore, but she needs to balance her time with him and with other people. I guess his focus is quite high on her right now. And if you really care about your relationship and her, you would have this stop right away. we almost broke up I guess you lost your temper somehow... but the best thing would be you hold your nerve, don't raise your voice and tell her if she still wants to be with you she needs to stop that there and now. No excuse admitted. Wear your pants and be assertive. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 She's crossing a major line there. What's up with the sudden influx of people doing majorly inappropriate **** with their opposite sex 'friends'? No wonder mixed gender friendships get a bad rap in this community. Geez. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Steven33 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Ey there, thanx for taking the time to reply, to all of you above! She only has been on the ship for like a month, didn't think she would make friends so quickly and would escalate to getting in bed with a guy and watch movies....only once I saw the photos on FB of them doing things together I started asking questions immediately, I really lost my temper, she admitted she made a mistake, would not happen again, I told her to keep her distance from him, don't put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable, she said she has been....she asked me to trust her ect....they just see each other in the hallways and the crew bar and its just really a hallo and a how are you ect...or so I am told....I did send him a message asking to respect my relationship with her and what they did was wrong....how would he feel if I got in bed with his girlfriend, he apologised and did not know it would make me feel uncomfortable, I must not worry they just friends and when he heard she is in a relationship he was put off.......this all happened about two weeks ago...things seem better now, she told him to back off a little about a week ago...but makes no sense because he says he backed off immediately when he found out she was in a relationship but she only told him last week to backoff......if he backed off right in the beginning then surely none of this would have happened......but don't know how to move past what happened....and if something more happened!!! Guess I am taking it day by day and keeping myself busy..... Link to post Share on other sites
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