Never thought....

[Moose]

I never thought after 24 years I'd be posting in this section of our forum....but here I am...

 

Yes, I....Moose, am now divorced, and paying the ex Child Support on 2 minors, (1 is not living with her) and $ 400.00 a month alimony while she's sleeping with her married boy toy on our old bed.

 

He's been living with her for almost a year and I've filed a motion to modify to get full custody, and to end alimony.

 

I filed back in May, and just recently stopped paying alimony because of a message his wife sent me about a conversation those two were having:

He said... it was best for the kids to stay with me while you got situated then it was best for the kids to stay with you while I got situated now its best for the kids to have equal time. Were both in a good spot. I said... really, and where's your "spot"? I don't know where you live and you said you don't have a job. Doesn't sound very good and stable He said.... to dispose of your bad feelings. She takes care of things. She loves me and her money cares for us. She pays the bills and keeps up with the house and cars and food. We have everything here.

So, my question to you, and hopefully there is an attorney or two here, do you think the Judge will find me in civil contempt for not paying? Do you think it's fair that I'm supporting this dead beat husband/father?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Sorry, I'm no attorney, but it is my understanding that alimony ceases when your ex starts cohabit aging with someone else. What's the hold up in the system?

[Moose]

No hold up, she has until the 26th of this month to either settle, or it gets set for trial. There wasn't any language in our decree stating that alimony ends upon cohabitation, so I believe I do have to have it modified....I wish it were an automatic thing though!

[GorillaTheater]

Hey Moose. I missed this thread when it was active, but stumbled across it because I was thinking about you and wondering how things were going.

 

I hope all is well, considering.

[Moose]

Hey Moose. I missed this thread when it was active, but stumbled across it because I was thinking about you and wondering how things were going.

 

I hope all is well, considering.

Yep! Everything went well! Both attorneys showed up but the ex did not. When her attorney saw my journal and all of the evidence he went back to the ex and told her she needed to settle. And she did!!!

 

Now her married boy toy is in big time trouble for not paying child support for a year now...it's coming full circle...karma....lol!

[Yasuandio]

Whatever dummie did not catch that obvious glitch in the alimony agreement really screwed you. You may be stuck with it. But it doesn't hurt to say you had poor representation to the judge - as it is normal that cohabitation and/or re-marriage bars alimony.

 

As for now - the agreement in place stands. You will be held in Contempt if you hold back the alimony. Don't do it. It just makes you look bad - and your other argument to the judge will make him less sympathetic to you. For example - she could say she needed to bring in a border cause you were not paying the money.

 

Pony up the dough right now. Add some interest (something really high and punitive like 20% - that is only $80 bucks to look good to the Judge and redeem yourself. Listen to me, I'm smart.

 

Start collecting evidence on this deadbeat - especially written evidence. Talk to you wife about it on email. Tell her how it makes you feel. I'm not sure - since you're now divorced, that tapes are admissible. But photographs are. Find a way to take a time-stamped photograph. iPhones are doing it thru text - you can take a photo and text it at the same time. You could have a picture of earlier edition of newspaper in photo that also catches his car and her driveway. Gotta do this a 5:30 am - and park a block away and walk. Snap a few shots, when u get to the car - immediately text them to your own phone number with time date. Go home, and print text with time stamp (or an enlarged copy) off. Then print a full size color photo and clip it to the news paper. Rinse and repeat. (do not erase any of you text photos).

 

Always take the photos by text. Once you arrive write a short text of what you saw when you drove by. Send it. This text will frame and timestamp the next one. So, the next one is photo, hopefully with newspaper. Go to car and send. Then write final comment and send. Then you photo is not only time stamped - it is framed between two comments. Like documentation.

 

Now don't get this documentation all mixed up with other stuff. Set up a file where you can move the data. Eventually - a pattern will emerge. And you don't necessarily have to have a perfect photo as I described everytime. A few crappy ones are ok, as long as you have at least ten good, clean, reliable shots that prove he spent the night there. Then add in a few sloppy drive-by shots in with a time device in the photo. Download to same file.

 

Once you have a lot of data, then you can actually sit on the street and wait for him to walk out in the morning and vidio-tape him. There is no law against that. But you might want to be clever at first, and use a friend's car. Cause once you are spotted, it's all over.

 

Of course a PI is best, and easy breast in your case, but you are look at several grand plus testimony. PI has to testify that the photos were taken by him/her and not manipulated in any way.

 

This is the problem when people play amature PI. They have no idea how many holes can be drilled in their so called evidence. That is why I cautioned you about date stamps and multiple media storage and transfer points.

 

For the amount of alimony you are talking about, And considering how dumb she is being having this low-life live off your kids money, I think a do-it-your-self job would be the way to go.

 

Look up too, the laws in your state about tape recording unrelated individuals without their knowledge And if such data is admissible as evidence in your Courts. In my case, a tape recording I made without my husband's knowledge had a large positive impact during the divorce trial. (I live in Georgia). Hope this gives you some ideas.

 

Bottom line. Don't give the judge a reason to get pis't with you. And I urge u to add on that 20% gratuity - so when she bitches about you late payment in Court, you can apologize and remind the Court of the "part she left out" - as I'm pretty sure she won't pay you any compliments for that extra 20%.

 

And after the drama, expand on your apology. That you were confused - since Ashe is now been co-habtatin with a man for x months, and you believed, wrongly, that the alimony ceases in this case. And you seek the Judges advice as out appears to be a rather large oversight by your previous council (don't blame it on the other judge - that is who really screwed up).

 

Ok. Good luck. Yas

[JamesM]

No advice bit if I could interject....

 

Glad to see you are okay considering everything. And yes, I am surprised it all turned out this for way for you too. Perhaps there is a purpose for all of this.

 

Good to hear from you again.

[Moose]

Yas,

 

I don't know if maybe you missed it...but I won. Done, over with...she admitted to everything and settled.

 

But thanks for the advice!

 

James,

 

Thanks man! Long time no talk! I hope all is well with you and yours!!

[Yasuandio]

Yas,

 

I don't know if maybe you missed it...but I won. Done, over with...she admitted to everything and settled.

 

But thanks for the advice!

 

James,

 

Thanks man! Long time no talk! I hope all is well with you and yours!!

 

Sorry bout that Moose. I've been making a lot of mistakes lately. But you never know if she might "un-admit" it. And a few photos for show and tell at Court at various times cannot hurt.

 

Oh, I get it now! Done, over, you won!!!! Oh good! Brovo Man!

 

Maybe my post will help someone else. Man, I'm kinda burned out. Sorry about that. Congratulations! Yas