Yami Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Hello everyone,very nice to meet you all.I'm new here and this is my first post,i hope I can get help from the community and guide me through this.Also,I wish to share my opinions and thoughts and help others who are just like me.Thank you for sparing your time to help me,matters a lot to me. I met a girl few years ago,we developed a good friendship and I started liking her.I eventually told her I loved her,she said she liked me as well but she also confessed to me she was flirting around with many people just like me.She left me and stopped talking to me.We didn't talk for nearly an year but I kept thinking about her,looked at her pictures(rarely).After nearly an year,she started talking to me again,I was really happy..but,she told me she's in a relationship with someone.She didn't know I still loved her.I offered to help her meet her boyfriend even though I loved her because I wanted her to be happy. She told me she had feelings for me and liked me a lot but she wanted to wait for a while to start a relationship with me.She used to tell me she has troubles struggling with her feelings for people.I helped her a lot but I grew impatient and asked her to be my gf,I think I put too much pressure on her to be my gf.She lost trust in me and stopped talking to me for a while but she still wanted to be in relationship with me,she just needed some space.We started ignoring each other for sometime but we still liked each other.Recently,she told me "our relationship will never work".I guess the reason about this is - I was insecure with her,I grew obsessive of her and smothered her.She wanted to be free from relationships and have her freedom but because of impatience,I smothered her.I was always nice with her( i was very honest as well--if i ignored her,id tell her i ignored you) but she thought I am not being myself by being too nice to her.The fact is I love her a lot,I couldn't imagine her getting hurt. I'm still hopping one day,she will like me again and realize how much I want to help her and how much she means to me.I want to provide her a good life,good education and everything.My family supports me. Right now...we barely talk to each other anymore,Its me who always has to initiate the conversation.This pissed me off a lot so I ignored her.I know I'll never be with her and I'm not trying to be a pessismist but the chances are thin yet I can't move on from her. i still feel optimistic about being with her in future,I'm still thinking someday she will like me again or am I chasing after a ghost here? It's hard for me to talk to her knowing she won't ever be with me because I loved her since 2 years,she said she wishes to stay friends with me but it hurts for me,I don't want to lose her either. Should I stay as her friend and help her with her life or stop talking to her for a while? Should I tell her she hurt me,broke my heart and stop talking to her for a few days..It hurts sometimes to talk with her.I can't forget her,it feels like I've lost colour in my life since she left me and i've been depressed for a long long time.I know I'm nothing but an online friend to her but she means everything to me.I tried to date someone irl to forget this but I couldn't do it. About her: She had a very tough life since since she was a kid,her father left when she was a baby.Her mother didn't let her go to school for 9 years.She didn't have any friends irl,She never had a vacation in years.She doesn't have anyone to support her.She just wants to feel loved and needed.She dropped from her collage recently.Life without love,care,no friends,nowhere to go and she gets treated badly by her mother.I have told her many times to make friends but she can't spend too much time outside because of her mother.I want to fly her out here and provide her a good life,good education and everything.My family supports me. The reality is,I have lost her now..shes in a relationship with someone,I wish I could say i'm happy for her- some part of me is happy but the truth is I'm shattered. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yami Posted August 24, 2013 Author Share Posted August 24, 2013 I have realized being with her is impossible,I hate her sometimes and I miss her at the same time.I always thought of being patient and optimistic and I told myself -never give up. I accept the reality now,I'm trying to get back to my senses Link to post Share on other sites
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