I have known Temptation Before, But I would never Fall to a Ho

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by tattoomytoe

But not so myserious as the random bra-in-bed!

[i

 

Agreed. This is quite a case, Soul, you are lucky that Llama is here to over see this.

 

 

Sing along to George Michael-

 

"I will be your llama figure, put your tiny hoof in mine, I will be the one who regulates your bra mystery 'till the end of time..."

[tiki]

WTF?! Llama figure?! You never stop. You're a self righteous llama!

[savethedrama4allama]

Put your tiny hoof in mine Tiki

[deesgirl]

Where do you do your laundry? If it's the Laundromat, maybe it was left in a dryer by someone else, that you used?

 

That would explain the newness/tag also. Sometimes people pre-wash new things before they wear them.

[babybear]

Unless your gf is one hell of an actress, I dont think she planted it! Also, if she was cheated on in the past, I could see why she would flip out over this.

 

Bra's dont come outta nowehre...there has to be an explanation. Is she positive she didnt bring it over by accident?

[Soul Doubt]

Well It was a 34b, and she is a 36 C So I don't think she accidently brought it over. And we are still together, Like I said I only brought this up because it still comes up from time to time and I have no explanation. She says it doesn't bother her, but she still brings it up, so I think it does. And Like I said the MAXIM is just here, I don't read it that often, and if I did I would never do it in front of her. I'm sorry but I don't see how me saying a movie actress is attractive is disrespectful. I didn't say I wish she was as hot as Alissa malano(sp), but she asked me which Movie stars I thought were good looking and that was my reply. And my girl is Smoking hot, I tell her everyday how amazing she is on the outside and inside. I tell her it was her looks that drew me into her, and just herself that got me interested in her. When we walk down the street or go out anywhere I see the other guys heads turn. I tell her everyday how lucky I am she took a chance with me. She Catches me checking her out constantly, I know she was hurt in the past I just wish she trusted me a little bit more...

 

oh yeah she still talks to her friend that she used to Sleep with(the one with the girlfriend and 3 month old). We usally end up in a fight after he calls, because her phone is loud and it wakes me up. I ask what's up and she gets mad, and that's usally when the accusations and questions about my commitment to a monogomus relationship begin.

[Soul Doubt]

Originally posted by tiki

Did the bra look worn? Ya know, mine's all tattered and has fuzz balls and sh*t.

nah it didn't look worn, and like I said b4 it was inspected by a few different women, and they all said that it couldn't have been worn because of the plastic tag. I told my Girl this and she got mad I told people about it....

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by Soul Doubt

I'm sorry but I don't see how me saying a movie actress is attractive is disrespectful. I didn't say I wish she was as hot as Alissa malano(sp), but she asked me which Movie stars I thought were good looking and that was my reply. And my girl is Smoking hot, I tell her everyday how amazing she is on the outside and inside. I tell her it was her looks that drew me into her, and just herself that got me interested in her. When we walk down the street or go out anywhere I see the other guys heads turn. I tell her everyday how lucky I am she took a chance with me. She Catches me checking her out constantly, I know she was hurt in the past I just wish she trusted me a little bit more...

 

Oh so she asked you which stars you think are good looking and then she used it against you.

 

Yeah, insecurity.

[RowanRavyn]

Ya know....

 

On the Maxum issue...I read it...::Grins:: there are great articles in there!!! The models do get the airbrush treatment, and believe me with photoshop, anyone can look smokin!!

 

The Bra....ya know...my Mama had a saying..."the guilty fleeth, when no man pursueth." I think she was testing you. To see if you might confess to something, that might make her feel better.

 

Sounds insane right? But with her reaction to you questioning her when the ex-F&$^Buddy/Still friend...she gets defensive. Is this person calling in the middle of the night, is that how he wakes you up?

 

Something is fishy here for sure!!

[RowanRavyn]

Heh, as for the Mystery...

 

This sounds like a job for:

 

Llama Llama Doooooooooo!!!

[tokyo]

Originally posted by Soul Doubt

oh yeah she still talks to her friend that she used to Sleep with(the one with the girlfriend and 3 month old). We usally end up in a fight after he calls, because her phone is loud and it wakes me up. I ask what's up and she gets mad, and that's usally when the accusations and questions about my commitment to a monogomus relationship begin.

 

I don´t know, she´s the one who is still speaking with this ex, who seems to feel a bit guilty about it, otherwise she wouldn´t get so upset, but is the one who questions your commitment.....

[moimeme]

The bra was probably in a dryer and got stuck onto the sheets while they were drying.

 

The bigger issue is that your girl is too distrustful. She may have been hurt in the past, but it's unfair to punish you for someone else's sins. Tell her that if she doesn't trust you, she doesn't love you and that you'll move on if her attitude doesn't change.

 

There are excellent books on overcoming jealousy. Maybe buy her one.

[mandimay]

She sounds alot like me. I have been cheated on and have a problem with actually looking for issues. Have you considered that maybe she was afraid? Afraid of falling for you and losing you? And that SHE actually put the bra there herself? Think about it. I know it sounds psycho but it's the first thing that came to my mind. A person who has been cheated on has a mind that reels with scenerios and "what if's"...You almost get used to the pity and the anger being a way of life.

 

Good luck to you.

[tiki]

I think it was a test and you passed.

[2Confuzed]

This is the first thing I thought of after reading your post:

 

1) She is cheating on you and wants to take the focus off of herself.

 

2) She feels guilty about cheating and you may seem too "perfect" so she puts the bra in the

bed to "even the playing ground" so to speak.

 

Ultimately, I think you are dealing with someone who does have trust issues, but I would also be very suspicious that she herself may be cheating. You need to put all the cards on the table and get to the bottom of this. Your time is too precious to waste on someone who is sneaky and dishonest. Good Luck.

[Soul Doubt]

Originally posted by 2Confuzed

This is the first thing I thought of after reading your post:

 

1) She is cheating on you and wants to take the focus off of herself.

 

2) She feels guilty about cheating and you may seem too "perfect" so she puts the bra in the

bed to "even the playing ground" so to speak.

 

Ultimately, I think you are dealing with someone who does have trust issues, but I would also be very suspicious that she herself may be cheating. You need to put all the cards on the table and get to the bottom of this. Your time is too precious to waste on someone who is sneaky and dishonest. Good Luck.

 

 

Some others close to me have had the same reaction. That she has to be cheating on me. and i'd be a liar if i said the thought hasn't crossed my mind in the lasdt 13 months. And yet i stay...hmm ...maybe cause I don't want to believe that she would. We talked about at great length, and both said the same thing: It happened to us b4 and we wouldn't put anyone thru it. I have asked her if she still thinks I cheated. She gets angry at this question, and usally after I explain why I want to know, why it is important to me she finally says NO.(this is usally after a Maxim reference by a friend or if someone is cheating on TV, and we make jokes.) * I have never flat out asked her if she was cheating on me.

 

My girl is Vague most of the time. For no reaoson other than Conversation Ill ask her what she did that day. And she might tell me "oh I talked to so and so on the phone." Id ask as nice as I possibly could"oh yeah that's cool, what did he have to say." Usally met with the answer Nothing. I will elt it go, but I do ask. I ask just to make conversation, not because I think she is F@#$ing someone. She will be very Vague with her answers, and when I ask about a vague answer she berates me for prying. It took me over a year to meet her parents, and it only happened because I asked about it constantly. other than her Mother and Father, and her Nephew I have yet to meet anyone else from her family, and I have never met a single friend of hers other than the girl who introduced us. So I ask questions. Because I love her And i want to know everything about her (not in a weird possiive way, but bcause these people means something to her, and she means alot to me. )

 

I have tried to include her in my family, and time and time again I am at functions alone. It's gotten that my mom won't even invite her anymore, and If I ask I usally have to argue to get her invited.(which is no surprise because my Mom doesn't think any girl is good enough for me(thanx mom)). And I ask my Girl if she will come with me to my Family Functions, cause Family is very Important to me**, and she says Yes and talks about what she can bring(wine,a cake, whatever,) then the day comes and I wait, and I wait and usally 20 minutes b4 I am to be somewhere she tells me she can't go, because of a family emergency. Then an hour later she'll call me and want to talk on the phone, and if I get of the Phone then it's because I don't want to be with her, or I am talking to someone else, when I really just want to sit and listen to my Pap tell stories of simpler days, and how he met mY grand Mother(GRHS).

 

I love my Girl, and we have had our Issues. I would never cheat on her, unfortunatly for me she found a Bra in My bed...r we doomed?

 

One more thing sorry for rambling on about this, but No one wants to have to sit here and listen to me go on and on and on about my Love life UNLESS you are a webpage about Love, and advice so yinz are the only ones I hvae talked to about this at great lengths. thank tyou for reading

 

 

*an example of the Jokes I am referering to is that I am her Monday Weds. Boyfriend.

** I am putting this here because I would think that my devotion to my family might instill some confidence in her that I want a family, that I am commited to Family, but like I have said in past posts, she questions me alot on if I want to be in a committed releationship, and she also says that6 I don't want to have a family.

[Soul Doubt]

just an update...We are fighting constantly, She accused me of cheating yet again...i am at a loss i do not know what to do...

[JoL]

This girl is way waaaaaaaay beyond insecure here.

It sounds to me like she has probably got some deep-seated guilt about being the other woman with this guy she's still talking to- maybe she still has feelings for him, maybe she's still seeing him? Either way, it seems to me like your girl has a serious problem with trust.

 

I guarantee that no relationship will EVER last if there is an overly insecure person in it. 100% failure rate.

 

You need to decide what you want to do- help her figure out why she's so crazy-insecure..or tell her you can't take it anymore.

[Soul Doubt]

yeah her insecurities are making me insecure about our relationship

[johnnyl321]

i can relate. few years ago, i'm in a fairly new relationship. my best friend and i take off for a weekend trip and my girlfriend was staying at my apartment. anyway, i call her when we arrived at our destination (11 hours later) and she's about as cold as a Frigidaire freezer. fast forward to two days later, i come home, get a hot shower, sit next to her on the sofa and she's still not saying a word to me. finally she says "look under your pillow, there's a surprise for you". i look under the pillow, there's a pair of women's panties there. she asked whose they were, hell if i knew. i called my ex wife and asked if she accidentally put her underwear in with my daughters' clothing and she said she didn't. the only thing i could think of was it came from the laundromat that does my laundry (wash, dry and fold service). my gf accepted it. but, i asked her directly " look me in my eyes and tell me you think i'm capable of doing that to you?" she said no, she didn't think i'd do that. and she's right. there's times i've been so mad at her, i wanted to kick her out, but i don't because I LOVE HER!!! so, if you didn't have anyone over who may have left their bra there, tell her that. if she refuses to listen, perchance it's time to move on and find someone who will not twist your trust into lies.

good luck