if you've been broken up with / broken hearted

[barky2]

I see alot of the same things being said, alot of the same questions are being asked so I want everyone to read this thread if you've just been broken up with, desire your ex back ect

 

 

 

The first question everyone asks in a huge panic WHAT CAN I DO?!

 

The very simple answer and I want you to re read this after you read it

 

NOTHING!!!

 

There is NO magical cure.

 

You have to realise this, begging and pleading won't get you anywherw...OK wait maybe it will,maybe they do come back....OUT OF GUILT AND THEY WILL BE GONE AGAIN A SHORT TIME AFTER.

 

You need to face reality, that yes, your relationship has ended.

 

Its over.

 

OK. So now we get that down....please...if you have still any doubts I want you to re read it before reading on.

 

So now, what the heck do I do?

 

You drop off the face of the earth and you COMPLETELY focus every bit of your being into making yourself happy again.

 

No one can make you happy but yourself.

 

NOONE.

 

Go to the gym, hangout with family and friend...do not sit in the house

 

You have no idea how important that is to get ur buns off the couch or out of bed.

 

The world is beautiful.

 

Every single member on here, past and present has been thru a heart break....as have I. I know the pain. I fought it for so long. Until I saw the light that everyone on Ls was screaming at me.

 

LET GO. NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL CHANGE THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW.

 

OK so pressing on.

 

Undoubtedly you've begged and pleaded and it didn't work.

 

Duh. Stop now. Pick up ur balls or boobs and face the demons fighting and haunting you....get mad! Go look in the mirror and say bring it on! Scream!! Cry!! Let it out!!!

 

So what happens if you've been dumped, they start seeing someone ect.

 

Big freakin deal.

 

Wait what?

 

Yea who gives a crap.

 

Sex is just that sex. They don't have a emotional bond like you guys who.

 

My ex came back, that was the first thing she said, it was better with you because we made love...just didn't knock skins.

 

Now I'm not saying to do what I did, ( I went out and got some the min I found out she was with someone just so i in my crazy head figured wed be even) but it did help later down the road.

 

You have to realise something, what they are now getting is the physical fun part of the relationship....they are missing the emotional aide that you've always provided.

 

The inevitable BREACRUMB.

 

HI how are you I miss u I love you blah blah blah SHUT IT.

 

Do not respond...its so critical you do not give them a damn inch on this.

 

Most people ask how long do rebounds last.

 

One person gave me the best answer..." could be the first burp or fart ...or 100years".

 

Don't sit down and wait on it, it could last forever.

 

My rebound lasted a month while my ex pulled nc on me...it drove me nuts. I realized who I really loved.

 

My (ex's) rebound lasted 3 months...BC I begged and sat around, she admitted to me if I left her alone she would have come back sooner.

 

You guys, you need to LEAVE THEM ALONE AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF.

 

I ONLY GOT MINE BACK AFTER LETTING GO, LEAVING IT TO A HIGHER POWER , GOT MYSELF HAPPY AGAIN.

 

Exs know when your pulling away, even when you haven't talked to them in a long time. They feel it. The MINUTE I walked out of a bar with my buddies and was truly happy, the minute I got in my car my phone rang....it HAPPENS like that.

 

So now...I want you to trust and believe me....the ONLY way to get them back is to leave them the hell alone, get out of your depression , get back that confident person they fell inlove with.

 

God someone should buy my ebook.

 

All kidding aside tho...that's the trick.

 

And you know what? Even if they don't come back, you are so close to healed ...someone you don't even know, you will love them just as much or MORE than your ex.

 

Don't worry....they always come back. But when?

 

Could be years man, so do what you want...but I sure as hell didn't wait.

 

 

 

 

The reason I posted this, is because I came back after awhile, to pay it forward to people who helped me when I was down.

 

But it seems like I'm saying the same thing over and over again.

Threads after thread.

 

LET THEM GO AND GET YOUR HAPPY SELF BACK.

 

ONE SIZE FITS ALL. DO NOT CONTACT THEM!

 

WHEN THEY ARE READY THEY WILL CONTACT YOU.

 

NOTHING IS SEXY ABOUT YOUR PHONE BLOWING UP AND NEEDYNESS. NOTHING.

 

 

In closing, I want you to take a deep breath, everything will be fine. I give you my word, from the bottom of my heart...you will be OK.

 

Go for a walk. Start a thread. Help out other members....LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! THEY WANT YOU GONE? GOOD BITE ME, YOU GOT YOUR WISH.

 

 

Thank you to everyone who's ever helped me here, and when people reply to your posts, don't take offense to it. They really are trying to help.

 

" THIS TOO SHALL PASS" I have it tattoo'd on me for a reason.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[Kitchen]

Hi Barky,

 

I have to say that I love reading your posts, they always make me feel good.

 

One thing I want to say about this NC thing though. I understand the intentions, and I know that it helps in getting over your ex. However, I have certainly seen non-NC work in terms of getting ex back. It happened to a buddy of mine. His gf decided to take a break with him after 5 years to "clear her thoughts" or some bull****. Well he was of course devastated. A week later he got piss drunk and had a random hookup. He told his ex about this out of guilt and then she was devastated and basically told him to **** off forever. She pretty much cut most contact with him for the next 4 months. And what did he do? He beg, he plead, he showed her just how much of a mess he was to her. He tried and tried and tried. And guess what? Today, 3 years later, they are preparing for their wedding next month.

 

Now I'm not saying that this would work on anyone. It certainly wouldn't work for me if my gf of 5 years slept with someone else a week after we took a break (even if I was the dumper). I get that NC is great. But I think there are situations where persistence works to get your ex back. It's a case by case thing. I wouldn't say that it never works.

 

But here I am, in NC for two weeks, and am not planning on contacting my ex-gf who has found someone else. It's tough, but I understand the gamble of persisting, so I am doing what the vast majority of people, such as you, on this board suggest and sticking with NC. It does scare me though to think that in the future I might look back and wonder if persistence would have worked for me? And that if NC actually pushed the two of us apart.

 

It's a gamble, and I hate it.

[Knoxpwns]

I see alot of the same things being said, alot of the same questions are being asked so I want everyone to read this thread if you've just been broken up with, desire your ex back ect

 

 

 

The first question everyone asks in a huge panic WHAT CAN I DO?!

 

The very simple answer and I want you to re read this after you read it

 

NOTHING!!!

 

There is NO magical cure.

 

You have to realise this, begging and pleading won't get you anywherw...OK wait maybe it will,maybe they do come back....OUT OF GUILT AND THEY WILL BE GONE AGAIN A SHORT TIME AFTER.

 

You need to face reality, that yes, your relationship has ended.

 

Its over.

 

OK. So now we get that down....please...if you have still any doubts I want you to re read it before reading on.

 

So now, what the heck do I do?

 

You drop off the face of the earth and you COMPLETELY focus every bit of your being into making yourself happy again.

 

No one can make you happy but yourself.

 

NOONE.

 

Go to the gym, hangout with family and friend...do not sit in the house

 

You have no idea how important that is to get ur buns off the couch or out of bed.

 

The world is beautiful.

 

Every single member on here, past and present has been thru a heart break....as have I. I know the pain. I fought it for so long. Until I saw the light that everyone on Ls was screaming at me.

 

LET GO. NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL CHANGE THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW.

 

OK so pressing on.

 

Undoubtedly you've begged and pleaded and it didn't work.

 

Duh. Stop now. Pick up ur balls or boobs and face the demons fighting and haunting you....get mad! Go look in the mirror and say bring it on! Scream!! Cry!! Let it out!!!

 

So what happens if you've been dumped, they start seeing someone ect.

 

Big freakin deal.

 

Wait what?

 

Yea who gives a crap.

 

Sex is just that sex. They don't have a emotional bond like you guys who.

 

My ex came back, that was the first thing she said, it was better with you because we made love...just didn't knock skins.

 

Now I'm not saying to do what I did, ( I went out and got some the min I found out she was with someone just so i in my crazy head figured wed be even) but it did help later down the road.

 

You have to realise something, what they are now getting is the physical fun part of the relationship....they are missing the emotional aide that you've always provided.

 

The inevitable BREACRUMB.

 

HI how are you I miss u I love you blah blah blah SHUT IT.

 

Do not respond...its so critical you do not give them a damn inch on this.

 

Most people ask how long do rebounds last.

 

One person gave me the best answer..." could be the first burp or fart ...or 100years".

 

Don't sit down and wait on it, it could last forever.

 

My rebound lasted a month while my ex pulled nc on me...it drove me nuts. I realized who I really loved.

 

My (ex's) rebound lasted 3 months...BC I begged and sat around, she admitted to me if I left her alone she would have come back sooner.

 

You guys, you need to LEAVE THEM ALONE AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF.

 

I ONLY GOT MINE BACK AFTER LETTING GO, LEAVING IT TO A HIGHER POWER , GOT MYSELF HAPPY AGAIN.

 

Exs know when your pulling away, even when you haven't talked to them in a long time. They feel it. The MINUTE I walked out of a bar with my buddies and was truly happy, the minute I got in my car my phone rang....it HAPPENS like that.

 

So now...I want you to trust and believe me....the ONLY way to get them back is to leave them the hell alone, get out of your depression , get back that confident person they fell inlove with.

 

God someone should buy my ebook.

 

All kidding aside tho...that's the trick.

 

And you know what? Even if they don't come back, you are so close to healed ...someone you don't even know, you will love them just as much or MORE than your ex.

 

Don't worry....they always come back. But when?

 

Could be years man, so do what you want...but I sure as hell didn't wait.

 

 

 

 

The reason I posted this, is because I came back after awhile, to pay it forward to people who helped me when I was down.

 

But it seems like I'm saying the same thing over and over again.

Threads after thread.

 

LET THEM GO AND GET YOUR HAPPY SELF BACK.

 

ONE SIZE FITS ALL. DO NOT CONTACT THEM!

 

WHEN THEY ARE READY THEY WILL CONTACT YOU.

 

NOTHING IS SEXY ABOUT YOUR PHONE BLOWING UP AND NEEDYNESS. NOTHING.

 

 

In closing, I want you to take a deep breath, everything will be fine. I give you my word, from the bottom of my heart...you will be OK.

 

Go for a walk. Start a thread. Help out other members....LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! THEY WANT YOU GONE? GOOD BITE ME, YOU GOT YOUR WISH.

 

 

Thank you to everyone who's ever helped me here, and when people reply to your posts, don't take offense to it. They really are trying to help.

 

" THIS TOO SHALL PASS" I have it tattoo'd on me for a reason.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to stop being a ****ing moron and just listen and follow stuff like this, because I have NO CLUE what is coming.

 

 

The worst part I see and did myself is people ignore golden advics because they think their relationship is/was different/special/unique.

 

Do you want to know how special your situation is? Someone else I've met here got dumped on the exact same day as me for pretty much the exact same reason. We have all been through it, and every new guy (like myself) thinks he knows better.

 

Trust us... you don't lol

[barky2]

I'm going to go out on a limb here, as you may not know every single secret that girl knows, but I bet something didn't work out in her favor.

 

I'm not saying that maybe he got a 1 in a billion lucky.

 

But I give you my word, it WILLNOT work for you.

 

OK flash back here we go.

 

 

Like two years ago me and my (ex) broke up.

 

We were living in north Carolina and she moved back to Boston.

 

I was up her ass every day trying to get her back crying begging...ect

 

It worked. We got back together, she came back and guess what?

 

Left again a month later, came back out of guilt and also guess what?

 

She started talking to someone, and he went back to his ex.

 

See what I'm getting at?

 

One size fits all, LET THEM GO. Once I did, and she came back, its never been better.

 

 

 

BarkyBarky

[BigGirlPantiesOn]

Beautifully said, Barky. You are such an asset to this community.

 

"Let go and let God".

 

The law of detachment

 

"This law says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to create your desire. You give up your attachment to the result. This is a very powerful thing to do. The moment you relinquish your attachment to the result, combining one-pointed intention with detachment at the same time, you will have that which you desire. Anything you want can be acquired through detachment, because detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. Attachment comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols. Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create. True wealth consciousness is the ability to have anything you want, anytime you want, and with least effort. To be grounded in this experience you have to be grounded in the wisdom of uncertainty. In this uncertainty you will find the freedom to create anything you want."

[malin819]

Thanks for this me and my ex are broken up since Saturday officialy. She txted me Monday and I gave her some quick replies (she asked how I was doing....if I was sure I left my hat there...you get the point)

 

So the next day I asked why she asked those silly questions. If she had something sje wanted to say....but she only said sorry im worried about you.

 

So her txt from Monday gave me false hopes and Tuesday it was confirmed.

 

Now I know I'll see her soon since she owes me money...how should I act when I see her

 

Should I only anwser her txts if its about getting back together and ignore the rest? What if she calls?

[barky2]

First off to anyone who's said thanks, its my pleasure.

 

Now...id like personal stories to be started on your on thread ( totally not being a douche) but that way you don't just get my opinion...but everyone else's.

 

 

Barky

[Soat]

You wrote some great stuff. Any chance you could improve the layout to make it easier to read?

[barky2]

Yea give me a sec I'll space it out a little more

 

 

 

Barky

[lalalovekay]

Were you ever in the dumpers shoes? Did you ever text them when you were ready?

[barky2]

Were you ever in the dumpers shoes? Did you ever text them when you were ready?

 

Yes. And yes.

 

I made my intentions very clear.

 

As did my ex when the roles were flipped.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[lalalovekay]

Yes. And yes.

 

I made my intentions very clear.

 

As did my ex when the roles were flipped.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

And can I ask how long did you take? Weeks? Months?

[Vinsanity1307]

Thank you for your post. I did feel a little better after reading it thanks...

[clairedunham]

This letter made me feel better. A LOT! Today I went to a friends house and watched a movie. We were laughing a lot and I felt better. Right now I deleted a FB account I made the other day and Twitter account because I am really mad at him. He was mean when he broke up with me. He broke up with me through twitter. Weird thing. I have 3 profiles. Don't ask. One that I made in 2007 (I deactivated it), another one I made in 2012 (deactivated it), and the one I made the other day because I wanted to talk to him and he has no phone. He has me blocked on my other 2 facebooks because we had a fight and I used to activate them to talk to him. I activated my facebook from 2012 and he doesn't have me blocked? That's weird.

 

Anyways, I felt a whole lot better today. And this letter was great. Though my stomach still hurts :s. I had the munchies XD

[barky2]

And can I ask how long did you take? Weeks? Months?

 

A year. Hense why I said don't wait around.

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

This letter made me feel better. A LOT! Today I went to a friends house and watched a movie. We were laughing a lot and I felt better. Right now I deleted a FB account I made the other day and Twitter account because I am really mad at him. He was mean when he broke up with me. He broke up with me through twitter. Weird thing. I have 3 profiles. Don't ask. One that I made in 2007 (I deactivated it), another one I made in 2012 (deactivated it), and the one I made the other day because I wanted to talk to him and he has no phone. He has me blocked on my other 2 facebooks because we had a fight and I used to activate them to talk to him. I activated my facebook from 2012 and he doesn't have me blocked? That's weird.

 

Anyways, I felt a whole lot better today. And this letter was great. Though my stomach still hurts :s. I had the munchies XD

 

 

Lol I'm glad it helped a little

 

 

 

Barky

[Kimmie80]

Barky, the relationship where she came back a year later, how long was the relationship? Do you think it matters how long a couple was together for to determine the chances of getting back together? I always think that the longer together, the higher chances. Too many memories to try to block. Just want to see what your opinion is on this Thank you SOOOO much for your post!!! You are helping so many people, more than you will ever know

[Soat]

NEver mind wrong person... lol

[iouaname]

I don't expect my ex to come back, but I'm still having a hard time letting go and moving on. I am doing my best to not contact him and just move forward with my life without the expectation of him ever reaching out. I just have to work on changing my habits and behaviors.

[Kimmie80]

iouaname, I can complete relate. I know I have to let go of him, I just don't know how? I haven't contacted him now since July 18th. He sent the last email saying that he is sure our paths will cross again. Not much to say to that, really. I get he is moving on. So, I am letting him. I just have to figure out how I can let him go and get to the place where I feel I will be ok. Keep your head up

[iouaname]

I'm envious of the positive note you were able to leave it on. My ex said similar things when we first broke up, but I was too clingy and needy and basically destroyed any positive feelings that we could ever have for each other. I mean, I guess it takes two, but I blame myself quite a bit. Good for you for being able to stick to not initiating contact. I think that you'll get over it quickly

[Kimmie80]

So you didnt leave him be? What exactly did he say to u when he was breaking up with u? If u don't mind me asking?

[barky2]

Barky, the relationship where she came back a year later, how long was the relationship? Do you think it matters how long a couple was together for to determine the chances of getting back together? I always think that the longer together, the higher chances. Too many memories to try to block. Just want to see what your opinion is on this Thank you SOOOO much for your post!!! You are helping so many people, more than you will ever know

 

The relationship was 10years.

 

Honestly I don't think time has anything to do with it.

 

Every single girl I've dated from a few weeks to a few months came back...years later. To apologize and try and get me back.

 

And my pleasure for helping, its the least I can do

 

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

I don't expect my ex to come back, but I'm still having a hard time letting go and moving on. I am doing my best to not contact him and just move forward with my life without the expectation of him ever reaching out. I just have to work on changing my habits and behaviors.

 

 

When all hope is lost, and you feel they are not coming back, is when you finally let go and move on.

 

Its a liberating feeling after awhile when you start picking yourself up and dust yourself off, and finally start living for yourself again.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[Kimmie80]

In my case, I cant see him coming back cause there is nothing to appologize for. I said some bad things, said my sincere apologies, and expressed how much I care about him and miss him. The only thing he may say sorry for was for walking away after our first fight and not giving me a second chance. But honestly, cant see that happen cause in the end, it was ME who messed it all up.