if you've been broken up with / broken hearted

[FredJones80]

I've just blocked her from whatsapp ...I also feel like this would destroy any hope (no matter how remote) of reconciliation in the future?

 

I went one step further and closed my whatsapp account and uninstalled it

 

If she is with someone else, why would you want her back anyway? you're playing 2nd best.

 

My ex may or may not be with someone else, I honestly don't know, I haven't checked up on her FB account as I'd probably be physically sick if she was, I'm happy living in my little clouded world where I still respect her, respect the decision she was made was the best for her and not for some alternative "get with someone new straight away" reason.

 

If in the 0.00001% chance she did want to get back with me (I know most of us hope for it and it rarely comes) then I'd want to be certain she wasn't with someone else either at the end of our relationship. Its unlikely to happen though so I probably won't have to be put in that situation.

[chris9210]

I went one step further and closed my whatsapp account and uninstalled it

 

If she is with someone else, why would you want her back anyway? you're playing 2nd best.

 

My ex may or may not be with someone else, I honestly don't know, I haven't checked up on her FB account as I'd probably be physically sick if she was, I'm happy living in my little clouded world where I still respect her, respect the decision she was made was the best for her and not for some alternative "get with someone new straight away" reason.

 

If in the 0.00001% chance she did want to get back with me (I know most of us hope for it and it rarely comes) then I'd want to be certain she wasn't with someone else either at the end of our relationship. Its unlikely to happen though so I probably won't have to be put in that situation.

 

The reason I want her back is simply, I am still utterly and hopelessly in love with her and I still believe we can be happy together, no matter how the situation is now with her seeing someone else. If by some miracle she did ever want me back, I would take her back in a heartbeat, I would forget about everything and just concentrate on making her happy. I also know I can't get any better, and that I will just compare any new potential partner with her, because in my eyes she is the perfect girl and I want her and only her. Maybe I need to take her off the pedestal I've placed her on but at the moment in finding it difficult to do this. I also find it hard to accept we are completely over, especially given our history, which I know doesn't matter to her now, but it must count for something.

[FredJones80]

The reason I want her back is simply, I am still utterly and hopelessly in love with her and I still believe we can be happy together, no matter how the situation is now with her seeing someone else. If by some miracle she did ever want me back, I would take her back in a heartbeat, I would forget about everything and just concentrate on making her happy. I also know I can't get any better, and that I will just compare any new potential partner with her, because in my eyes she is the perfect girl and I want her and only her. Maybe I need to take her off the pedestal I've placed her on but at the moment in finding it difficult to do this. I also find it hard to accept we are completely over, especially given our history, which I know doesn't matter to her now, but it must count for something.

 

I hear you and fully understand.

 

Life sucks

[Brutus]

The reason I want her back is simply, I am still utterly and hopelessly in love with her and I still believe we can be happy together, no matter how the situation is now with her seeing someone else. If by some miracle she did ever want me back, I would take her back in a heartbeat, I would forget about everything and just concentrate on making her happy. I also know I can't get any better, and that I will just compare any new potential partner with her, because in my eyes she is the perfect girl and I want her and only her. Maybe I need to take her off the pedestal I've placed her on but at the moment in finding it difficult to do this. I also find it hard to accept we are completely over, especially given our history, which I know doesn't matter to her now, but it must count for something.

 

Ah, man, I know I know, these were exactly my thoughts till a few days ago (and occasionally are still now). 2 months after the BU and 1 month NC, I am SLOWLY figuring out what she herself told me: something broke and cant be fixed. That's the sad truth, the wonderful thing between you 2 is no more. No matter how long, amazing, unique it was. And even if she comes back, it will be like taping something broken, and it won't be like before, it will always be a bit poisoned. I know now all you want is her back, no matter what. I know very well because i feel the same. But you have to realize that she decided not to be with you.

 

So, pull together all your strenght and tell yourself it is over. O-V-E-R. NC will help you to take her down from the pedestal and learn appreciating other people rather than keeping comparing with her. It is a long and painful journey, I am just at the beginning myself, but I can tell you, it slooowly gets better. Don't stick to hopes, it would not be fair to yourself. Rationally think how much she hurt you and associate this pain to her. She will seem waay less interesting then. The soon you get to accept the end of your old relationship, the sooner you will start your journey to be yourself again and one day be able to love again.

Edited April 26, 2014 by Brutus

[chris9210]

Ah, man, I know I know, these were exactly my thoughts till a few days ago (and occasionally are still now). 2 months after the BU and 1 month NC, I am SLOWLY figuring out what she herself told me: something broke and cant be fixed. That's the sad truth, the wonderful thing between you 2 is no more. No matter how long, amazing, unique it was. And even if she comes back, it will be like taping something broken, and it won't be like before, it will always be a bit poisoned. I know now all you want is her back, no matter what. I know very well because i feel the same. But you have to realize that she decided not to be with you.

 

So, pull together all your strenght and tell yourself it is over. O-V-E-R. NC will help you to take her down from the pedestal and learn appreciating other people rather than keeping comparing with her. It is a long and painful journey, I am just at the beginning myself, but I can tell you, it slooowly gets better. Don't stick to hopes, it would not be fair to yourself. Rationally think how much she hurt you and associate this pain to her. She will seem waay less interesting then. The soon you get to accept the end of your old relationship, the sooner you will start your journey to be yourself again and one day be able to love again.

 

I can kinda believe that it will get easier, already the pain isn't as bad, I've been thinking about her a lot but I have the kids to distract me this weekend so I think that's helped, plus the no contact. I still get moments when she comes into my mind without me consciously thinking about her and the pain comes back, but like you say, it is getting better. I just think I (and probably others) need to start believing I am capable of being loved again. I just wish it was her loving me at this moment but it was obviously not meant to be. I believe everything happens for a reason, I just can't see what the reason would be for me meeting her in the first place, I find it hard to believe it would be just for things to end up like this? That's probably the crazy emotional part of me talking though, hopefully I will learn the reason in the future. Thank you for these kind words, I hope you find happiness again one day, it really helps though that there's a place to come to and share experiences with people who have been or are in the same position!

[Brutus]

I believe everything happens for a reason, I just can't see what the reason would be for me meeting her in the first place, I find it hard to believe it would be just for things to end up like this? That's probably the crazy emotional part of me talking though, hopefully I will learn the reason in the future.

 

I don't think so. Things just happen, there are causes, but no "reasons". Sometimes thing are good, sometimed bad, sometimes amazing, sometimes horrible. That's all. We just need to be able to handle them. Be strong!

[barky2]

I think everything that happens in life happens for a reason.

 

You learn something from every relationship.

 

People are put and taken out of your life for a reason.

 

You move for a reason.

 

You take a new job for a reason.

 

Breakups are so small in the grand scheme of things.

 

What seems like the end of the world one day, in time, doesn't mean too much.

 

The thing about life I've learned, just roll with it.

 

Try and get past it, so you can carry on with your life.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[nutcheesy]

I have been NC for almost 7 days. I'm just wondering what if she contacts me one day? Like ask how am I? Or randomly start a Convo. Do I just ignore her flat down? Tell her straight it's all or nnothing or just start low contact with her? I don't wanna panic and do something I will regret when that day happens.. so I'm asking in advance haha.

[barky2]

Post on the forum IF it ever happens.

 

I always say if it's just minor hey how are you text.... Ignore it.

 

But either way..do not respond right away.

 

But deff post on here before you do anything.

 

 

 

Barky

[SCJACK]

when i got the how are you text, i ignored it for a whole day until she messaged again and was kind of angry about why i didn't respond. but you know all about it in our pm, barky lol. That provoked me to actually say something like after 5 or so more days of ignoring lol. Ugh wish I had kept NC instead of giving in... I only gave in because I didn't want her to be mad or upset... and i felt bad for ignoring... blah

[nutcheesy]

when i got the how are you text, i ignored it for a whole day until she messaged again and was kind of angry about why i didn't respond. but you know all about it in our pm, barky lol. That provoked me to actually say something like after 5 or so more days of ignoring lol. Ugh wish I had kept NC instead of giving in... I only gave in because I didn't want her to be mad or upset... and i felt bad for ignoring... blah

 

How long was your NC before she contacted you? So it just ended like that?

[canine]

I think my 5 year relationship is about to end and it hurts like hell. Maybe it's normal,maybe it's me but what bothers me is I'll be the one moving,I really don't have any close friends, not real close to my family. But the g/f will still have her daughters,close family,friends, and her close male friend,the one across the street who hit on her. I feel like she'll get over me before I turn the corner at the end of the street.

[chris9210]

Ok so I did something incredibly stupid today. I contacted her, begging her back again, obviously didn't work, I just felt like I needed to speak to her and to me, any attention was good attention, even if it was negative. She now wants nothing to do with me and has blocked me from everything, deleted her email accounts so now I have no way of contacting her at all. I feel like such an idiot, I should have posted here first to say I was gonna message her and maybe I could have been talked out of it. Do you think this will ruin any chances I may have had or did I have none to begin with based on what I've wrote?

[chris9210]

I think my 5 year relationship is about to end and it hurts like hell. Maybe it's normal,maybe it's me but what bothers me is I'll be the one moving,I really don't have any close friends, not real close to my family. But the g/f will still have her daughters,close family,friends, and her close male friend,the one across the street who hit on her. I feel like she'll get over me before I turn the corner at the end of the street.

 

I know how you feel, going through this at the moment, I feel like she has everything, her friends, family, new partner while I've been left with nothing. Sorry I don't have advice for you I just wanted to let you know you're not alone, sometimes knowing this can help a little, although I don't expect it to!

[canine]

Break ups are nothing new. I'm 49 years old,I've had my share. I know things get better over time and people move on but this really sucks. The one day at a time saying is true but I haven't felt like this for a long time.

[keeptryingormoveon]

I think everything that happens in life happens for a reason.

 

You learn something from every relationship.

 

People are put and taken out of your life for a reason.

 

You move for a reason.

 

You take a new job for a reason.

 

Breakups are so small in the grand scheme of things.

 

What seems like the end of the world one day, in time, doesn't mean too much.

 

The thing about life I've learned, just roll with it.

 

Try and get past it, so you can carry on with your life.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

"People will often tell you that everything happens for a reason, but it isn't necessarily your job to find those reasons. Sometimes the best thing to do is just accept... and move on."

Edited April 29, 2014 by keeptryingormoveon

[nutcheesy]

Barky..

 

I CAVED IN. I just went to check all the social medias on them. The new dude posting lovey dovey quotes on his tumblr and i feel like ****.

 

Should i just remove my ex from my facebook (unfriend) and block her off instagram? Will that help? Will that lose all chance in her wanting me back at all?

 

Im on NC day 7.. broke up 1.5 month ago and we had a 'moment' 10 days ago..

[malin819]

Barky..

 

I CAVED IN. I just went to check all the social medias on them. The new dude posting lovey dovey quotes on his tumblr and i feel like ****.

 

Should i just remove my ex from my facebook (unfriend) and block her off instagram? Will that help? Will that lose all chance in her wanting me back at all?

 

Im on NC day 7.. broke up 1.5 month ago and we had a 'moment' 10 days ago..

 

Seriously? Delete and block her everywhere buddy. Once that is done it would be like ripping off a band aid...will hurt for a few days but you'll do fine afterwards.

 

and who cares if she wants you or doesnt want you back? Do your thing and be happy with yourself. Once that is done look at what you will attract

[barky2]

Barky..

 

I CAVED IN. I just went to check all the social medias on them. The new dude posting lovey dovey quotes on his tumblr and i feel like ****.

 

Should i just remove my ex from my facebook (unfriend) and block her off instagram? Will that help? Will that lose all chance in her wanting me back at all?

 

Im on NC day 7.. broke up 1.5 month ago and we had a 'moment' 10 days ago..

 

 

I kept saying one day you'll see something on their social media that you won't like and it'll hurt.

 

Yes block everyone and everything and don't check it again!!!!

 

The fire is hot

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

Ok so I did something incredibly stupid today. I contacted her, begging her back again, obviously didn't work, I just felt like I needed to speak to her and to me, any attention was good attention, even if it was negative. She now wants nothing to do with me and has blocked me from everything, deleted her email accounts so now I have no way of contacting her at all. I feel like such an idiot, I should have posted here first to say I was gonna message her and maybe I could have been talked out of it. Do you think this will ruin any chances I may have had or did I have none to begin with based on what I've wrote?

 

No women wants a begger.

 

Women want strong men.

 

You came off weak to her, so distance yourself.

 

Ruin your chance?

 

It doesn't matter what you do, if it's ment to be it's ment to be.

 

But keep pushing forward with your life, don't sit on your thumbs waiting for the day because it may not come.

 

And if it does, deal with that headache then.

 

But the only thing you should be focused on is regaining your happiness, you have to become the person you were when you first met.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[chris9210]

No women wants a begger.

 

Women want strong men.

 

You came off weak to her, so distance yourself.

 

Ruin your chance?

 

It doesn't matter what you do, if it's ment to be it's ment to be.

 

But keep pushing forward with your life, don't sit on your thumbs waiting for the day because it may not come.

 

And if it does, deal with that headache then.

 

But the only thing you should be focused on is regaining your happiness, you have to become the person you were when you first met.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

Wow solid advice as always, thanks! I like the idea of my actions not effecting my chances, if its meant to be it will be. I'm going to do everything you've said and not wait around, as like you say I could be waiting forever and that's no good for anyone. The pain already isn't as bad since no contact so I have complete faith in everything you've written in this guide, hopefully I reap the benefits of the rest of your advice too! Thanks again.

[nutcheesy]

I have block unfriend deleted her social medias.. even some latest photos..I feel like im childish immature. Should I send her an email(which she don't check often) and say something like.. 'hey, I need to get you off social medias, no hard feelings yea. I just want to move on and forget you'. We ended things off in a good way.. I don'twant her to be hhating me? But I shld hate her.. I'm confused.

[malin819]

why would you justify your actions to your ex? Thats just plain stupid...do your thing and carry on no point in contacting her

[barky2]

Wow solid advice as always, thanks! I like the idea of my actions not effecting my chances, if its meant to be it will be. I'm going to do everything you've said and not wait around, as like you say I could be waiting forever and that's no good for anyone. The pain already isn't as bad since no contact so I have complete faith in everything you've written in this guide, hopefully I reap the benefits of the rest of your advice too! Thanks again.

 

Think of it like this, it can go one of two ways.

 

Either one day you'll get back together, or you'll find someone else, who you love just as much if not more than the ex.

 

That's a damn promise.

 

Go out with the boys, do whatever you want to do....you're single again!

 

I've said it before, I was single for almost a year, I had the best time of my life.

 

Partying, traveling...repeat.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

I have block unfriend deleted her social medias.. even some latest photos..I feel like im childish immature. Should I send her an email(which she don't check often) and say something like.. 'hey, I need to get you off social medias, no hard feelings yea. I just want to move on and forget you'. We ended things off in a good way.. I don'twant her to be hhating me? But I shld hate her.. I'm confused.

 

No no and no.

 

Honestly it'll make you sound manipulative.

 

There's Absolutely no need for any kind of contact.

 

Leave it be.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky