if you've been broken up with / broken hearted

[awesome0]

Thanks for your kind words and advice sir. I don't think ill be faking it as they say, I'm actually pretty happy these days. I'm about 95% over her but the 5% still lingers. I will heed your advice and do my best with the words that you say. If all works out because I haven't seen her since March, I might even be repulsed (for lack of a better term) by her and I wont be bothered at all, but as we know It usually doesn't work that way. Thanks for your quick response and keep up the great work that you do for everyone here. I know from reading many post some people deal with these things way worse than I did, but its great to receive advice from the master none the less. Thank you

[erklat]

Hi barky, either put in my thread or here.

 

So the sister last night broke my no contact, I was actually OK and

flirting on a job with a woman 10yrs older than me. So I kind of

feel comfortable in my own skin once again. I experienced maybe 10 percent

setback as compared to before with the info.

 

So basically they met each other at hairdressers and sister concluded she

has someone even though she had tried to hide the fact from her

and overall impression is that she lost a lot of weight and is unhappy

generally - i was told that on multiple occasion.

 

I wish I had more energy to rub my new life in her face but I'm worn down.

 

Why is her behavior? If you're in love aren't you supposed to radiate happiness?

[barky2]

Thanks for your kind words and advice sir. I don't think ill be faking it as they say, I'm actually pretty happy these days. I'm about 95% over her but the 5% still lingers. I will heed your advice and do my best with the words that you say. If all works out because I haven't seen her since March, I might even be repulsed (for lack of a better term) by her and I wont be bothered at all, but as we know It usually doesn't work that way. Thanks for your quick response and keep up the great work that you do for everyone here. I know from reading many post some people deal with these things way worse than I did, but its great to receive advice from the master none the less. Thank you

 

 

 

Let us know how it went.

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

Hi barky, either put in my thread or here.

 

So the sister last night broke my no contact, I was actually OK and

flirting on a job with a woman 10yrs older than me. So I kind of

feel comfortable in my own skin once again. I experienced maybe 10 percent

setback as compared to before with the info.

 

So basically they met each other at hairdressers and sister concluded she

has someone even though she had tried to hide the fact from her

and overall impression is that she lost a lot of weight and is unhappy

generally - i was told that on multiple occasion.

 

I wish I had more energy to rub my new life in her face but I'm worn down.

 

Why is her behavior? If you're in love aren't you supposed to radiate happiness?

 

 

 

Most rebounds / dating after is a bandaid, but just like a bandaid in water, it falls off showing your true wound.

 

If she does have someone else, stay well away my friend. Keep flirting and dating or whatever you have to, those are confidence boosters you need.

 

Ask the sister to not bring her up anymore, that you're too busy with your own life.

 

Do not break nc.

 

There is simply no need to.

 

She'll rub in your face that she truly is happy blah blah.

 

Most people out on a facade, yes if they're truly happy you'll know, but some with others you might not know.

 

Take a breath, if anything smile knowing she's not happy and continue on your merry way.

 

 

 

Barky

[awesome0]

Let us know how it went.

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

 

Well interestingly enough. She was not there. And the reasoning? Our mutual friends did not invite her out of respect and for me as well as deciding its me they want around not her.

 

 

It was quite a nice ego boost for me, although Sunday I was quite lonely, I think subconsciously I wanted to see her, cant figure why.

 

 

Also as a side note I have another mutual party to go to in 2 weeks so this situation may present itself again. Ill re-post after if it does. thanks for the advice none the less

[jbelle6]

It's nice that the situation didn't occur. I don't think I could handle seeing my ex.

 

It's over 2 weeks now, I'm feeling better, just have an overall sad sort of feeling that comes, but not that gutted feeling. I feel fortunate I don't have to see or hear about him.

When I get down I exercise, it really picks up my mood. Hope everyone else is doing well!

[barky2]

Keep it up you two!

 

 

 

 

Barky

[l.k]

Hey barky2

I seriously need ur help bro... Till now ive liked ur thread on ls... Here a link to my story.. Its lil big but please read it... And pls suggest wt should i do to get my girl of 4 yr relationship back... I love her alloot

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/477545-my-gf-4-years-left-me-out-blue-gigs

 

 

Please go through at suggest me what should be done in this case

 

Others can conment too...

Thanku

[l.k]

Hey .... Please reply to my above post... And give suggestions.... It wud be really helpul.... I still love my ex allot.... Its been 4 months now post breakup... And i me in nc since 10th may 2014

[Summerrose2013]

It's nice that the situation didn't occur. I don't think I could handle seeing my ex.

 

It's over 2 weeks now, I'm feeling better, just have an overall sad sort of feeling that comes, but not that gutted feeling. I feel fortunate I don't have to see or hear about him.

When I get down I exercise, it really picks up my mood. Hope everyone else is doing well!

 

Don't be surprised if you feel absolutely nothing. I was unexpectedly forced into seeing my ex last week and it was like seeing a complete stranger. I felt NOTHING. I went home and cried because I knew it was the closure of a chapter in my life but I have felt better since. he texted me after saying 'safe trip home was nice to see you' - and I ddin't reply - for the first time ever I actually didn't care what he thought about me ignoring him. I am finally empowered to move on.

[witmadskilllz]

barky you're the ****ing best bro, much love and keep doing you

[barky2]

Hey .... Please reply to my above post... And give suggestions.... It wud be really helpul.... I still love my ex allot.... Its been 4 months now post breakup... And i me in nc since 10th may 2014

 

It's been replied to.

 

 

 

Barky

[l.k]

Hey barky

 

Check my thread again...

[redbaron005]

Barky thanks for sticking around and giving back.

[chris9210]

So my ex keeps updating her whatsapp statuses, they're clearly aimed at me (I know this because some of them have contained personal comments relating to me) but the latest one reads "happiest I have EVER been". Now correct me if I'm wrong but if she was so happy then she wouldn't need to keep broadcasting it right? She has put up the same status a few times now and I feel like its to get a reaction from me, however I could be wrong. If I'm right though why would she want to try and hurt me this way, as she obviously thinks by having that as her status is going to bother me (it doesn't, I'm over her already) would like some thoughts as this behavious seems strange to me?

[newenglandkid]

Barky man thanks for posting that, I read it today and made me feel a whole lot better. Heres a quick rundown of whats been going on...

 

GF and I were together for a year and four months, great times together aside from little arguments about stupid little things (that would sometimes turn into yelling matches and then apologizing two hours later). Anyway GF takes a trip for business (by herself) and then two weeks later dumps me saying that all the fights built up and took a toll on her. I personally think she just wants to live the single life (we're both in our early 20's) with her girlfriends and taking that business trip, showed her how fun it would be to be single. Anyway since the breakup I've been a mess, first week or two I begged and tried to get her back and responded to every breadcrumb she gave me. But I've started to wane back a bit and am committed to NC. It's been three weeks since the BU and even though its only been 3 days of NC, I'm committed to doing this. I want her back man, and reading this gave me great pointers on what I need to do. So for now I'm gonna do me, pick myself up and enjoy life. Hopefully she'll realize what she had like you said and then who knows what will happen

[witmadskilllz]

Most rebounds / dating after is a bandaid, but just like a bandaid in water, it falls off showing your true wound.

 

If she does have someone else, stay well away my friend. Keep flirting and dating or whatever you have to, those are confidence boosters you need.

 

Ask the sister to not bring her up anymore, that you're too busy with your own life.

 

Do not break nc.

 

There is simply no need to.

 

She'll rub in your face that she truly is happy blah blah.

 

Most people out on a facade, yes if they're truly happy you'll know, but some with others you might not know.

 

Take a breath, if anything smile knowing she's not happy and continue on your merry way.

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

 

Thanks Barky!

 

I read this quote almost every now and then, it really helps relieve my stress and my depression altogether. Even though I should really just go on about my own and wish nothing but the best for everyone(including my ex). In the end, true peace comes within. Keep fighting everyone!

[Elle1975]

Thanks Barky!

 

I read this quote almost every now and then, it really helps relieve my stress and my depression altogether. Even though I should really just go on about my own and wish nothing but the best for everyone(including my ex). In the end, true peace comes within. Keep fighting everyone!

 

I like Barky. He give genuine advices, not bs full of stereotypes.

 

Funny, you wish her the best. I don't wish him he best. Never will.

 

I mean, if I think about it, right now I don't wish him the best (it's more of a f' off vibe) then I won't care enough to think of him at all anyway. I'm sure someone will. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'll hopefully get an A in anatomy, and my life will be good.

[biddybud]

This thread is bloody awesome, it's quite empowering to know that I'm doing things right when I feel so awful for the majority of the time!

Facebook- blocked the week after, unfriended the morning he broke up with me

Twitter blocked

No contact for... 12 days (I just added up!) whoop whoop!

Especially proud that didn't contact over weekend as it was a year to the day we met.

 

Still wake up every morning and have a cry, so that's the rubbish part. Been on a break (whatever that means) break up since the 7th may.... So over a month now. He had peevishly contacted via text 2 weeks ago, but that has stopped now, which I'm either happy about, or heartbroken depending on my mood.

 

At the end of it all, I do want him to apologise for his actions and want to work on his issues, I will hopefully get to a point wheee it doesn't matter, but I'm still a little raw about this all. I hope he does though.... Meh!

 

Thanks for this Barky, you've made me feel better when previous to this I was crying quite a lot.

[barky2]

So my ex keeps updating her whatsapp statuses, they're clearly aimed at me (I know this because some of them have contained personal comments relating to me) but the latest one reads "happiest I have EVER been". Now correct me if I'm wrong but if she was so happy then she wouldn't need to keep broadcasting it right? She has put up the same status a few times now and I feel like its to get a reaction from me, however I could be wrong. If I'm right though why would she want to try and hurt me this way, as she obviously thinks by having that as her status is going to bother me (it doesn't, I'm over her already) would like some thoughts as this behavious seems strange to me?

 

Yes most people who are truly happy have zero need to broadcast it.

 

It's either she's trying to convict herself she's happy, or someone else she's happy.

 

I mean, with all due respect, I don't think you're over her yet, especially if you saw it and had any kind of reaction.

 

Just let it go, don't even think twice about her status.

 

And block her on it also.

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

Barky man thanks for posting that, I read it today and made me feel a whole lot better. Heres a quick rundown of whats been going on...

 

GF and I were together for a year and four months, great times together aside from little arguments about stupid little things (that would sometimes turn into yelling matches and then apologizing two hours later). Anyway GF takes a trip for business (by herself) and then two weeks later dumps me saying that all the fights built up and took a toll on her. I personally think she just wants to live the single life (we're both in our early 20's) with her girlfriends and taking that business trip, showed her how fun it would be to be single. Anyway since the breakup I've been a mess, first week or two I begged and tried to get her back and responded to every breadcrumb she gave me. But I've started to wane back a bit and am committed to NC. It's been three weeks since the BU and even though its only been 3 days of NC, I'm committed to doing this. I want her back man, and reading this gave me great pointers on what I need to do. So for now I'm gonna do me, pick myself up and enjoy life. Hopefully she'll realize what she had like you said and then who knows what will happen

 

 

 

Ya I mean who knows what went through her head.

 

But why want someone who doesn't want you?

 

That's what she did when she broke up with you..say I don't want you anymore.

 

I'm glad you're gonna go do you...it's summer time man, make it the best summer of your life.

 

Something happened somewhere, its not just a decision she made on her lwn, maybe gfs in her ear..maybe someone hitting on her..who know and who cares.

 

Make her regret this decision by living a great life without her.

 

That's the biggest payback is living a great life.

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

This thread is bloody awesome, it's quite empowering to know that I'm doing things right when I feel so awful for the majority of the time!

Facebook- blocked the week after, unfriended the morning he broke up with me

Twitter blocked

No contact for... 12 days (I just added up!) whoop whoop!

Especially proud that didn't contact over weekend as it was a year to the day we met.

 

Still wake up every morning and have a cry, so that's the rubbish part. Been on a break (whatever that means) break up since the 7th may.... So over a month now. He had peevishly contacted via text 2 weeks ago, but that has stopped now, which I'm either happy about, or heartbroken depending on my mood.

 

At the end of it all, I do want him to apologise for his actions and want to work on his issues, I will hopefully get to a point wheee it doesn't matter, but I'm still a little raw about this all. I hope he does though.... Meh!

 

Thanks for this Barky, you've made me feel better when previous to this I was crying quite a lot.

 

 

You will get past the cries.

 

You will get past the pain and hurt.

 

You did the right thing, when someone asks for space you give them more than you need.

 

Just keep fighting through and you'll be just fine a promise.

 

Get a few girls together, get dolled up, and go out and have some fun.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[newenglandkid]

Yes most people who are truly happy have zero need to broadcast it.

 

It's either she's trying to convict herself she's happy, or someone else she's happy.

 

I mean, with all due respect, I don't think you're over her yet, especially if you saw it and had any kind of reaction.

 

Just let it go, don't even think twice about her status.

 

And block her on it also.

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

Dude thanks for the reply, I'm quoting this because today I saw her put up a picture on Instagram, some quote about being happy without looking for it..clearly aimed at me. But hearing that just reassured me that she is trying to convince herself to be happy and deep down she is still struggling. Thanks so much Barky for all the advice you're helping me out so much!!

[newenglandkid]

I do have a question though about social media, because even though she broke up with me we haven't blocked/deleted each other from social media sites. I've posted on those sites as normal, but would you suggest I go "ghost" or keep doing as I'm doing.

[erklat]

I do have a question though about social media, because even though she broke up with me we haven't blocked/deleted each other from social media sites. I've posted on those sites as normal, but would you suggest I go "ghost" or keep doing as I'm doing.

 

You are supposed to delete her from all social media and continue on living

your own life.

 

@barky - check the thread dude and share your insight pls.