if you've been broken up with / broken hearted

[newenglandkid]

Ya I mean I can agree with the dr, but I also think almost everyone gets codependent.

 

I also wouldn't say it's a horrible thing, granted you " should " keep your own happiness, life blah blah.

 

If you're really into someone, being around them makes you happy.

 

If they control your mood sadness anger then I think it's a problem.

 

But everyone is codependent.

 

And there's truly worse things that you could be.

 

 

Barky

 

 

Yeah I think my RS, my ex definitely controlled my moods and actions. For example, everyday after SHE got out of work we'd go to the gym, eat dinner and hang out until 10. Anytime we didn't, it got her upset for whatever reason. So I had to change a lot of things about myself, just to make her happy which I think is a bit unhealthy.

[l.k]

ok.... my gf brokeup this february.. and ive been begging her and requesting her to get back together for 4 months and then i went to complete nc for 1.5 months and my ex just texted me on whatsapp... the thing is 4-5 days back i just found out that my ex gf has managed to know my fb password somehow (i came to know this when i noticed that my unread fb msges r showing as read even when i dint read them) and its then when i played a game... i just asked one of my friend to chat with me on fb to ask about how my new girl is (which is a lie).... and guess what.. it shooted in her HEAD.. i just got a text from her "u got a girlfriend... ur whatsapp status means that" (she took name of whatsapp coz she doesnt wanna let me know that shes been reading my fb msges)

thrs a adreneline rush in my veins right now... as i dint expected that after behaving soo rude... misbehave.. acting cold... ignoring.... she would ever text me...

 

i guess NC seriously helped me to make her miss me and its well said that

WHEN U FINALLY START TO MOVE ON BAMM... U GET A FIRST BREADCRUMB FROM UR EX

 

 

help me... what should i do.... should i reply or not... nd if i should what should i reply..

[barky2]

Don't do anything.

 

If you say no I don't have a gf she'll leave you in the dust.

 

If you say you do, you'll get a bad reaction out of her.

 

Don't do anything.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[newenglandkid]

Don't do anything.

 

If you say no I don't have a gf she'll leave you in the dust.

 

If you say you do, you'll get a bad reaction out of her.

 

Don't do anything.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

The idea that they will have to figure it out for themselves, which means they'll be thinking about you more and more.

 

Right Barky?

[shoegal4]

Them not knowing and having to guess is better than giving them the details. Let her mind wonder. It will drive her mad.

[l.k]

Thanku barky.. Newenglandkid...shoegal4

 

Should i change my fb password and block her on whatsapp and fb.... Or should i let it go as the things r going... ?? (What can i do to make her to miss me more)

[newenglandkid]

Thanku barky.. Newenglandkid...shoegal4

 

Should i change my fb password and block her on whatsapp and fb.... Or should i let it go as the things r going... ?? (What can i do to make her to miss me more)

 

 

I would definitely change your FB password, don't let her have the access into your account.

 

As far as blocking, I haven't gone that far yet (5 weeks post BU, we've been LC since) so I can't give you an objective opinion on that.

 

For me, I'm try not to check her social media pages. If you feel like you can't handle that, then by all means block, delete, whatever you need to do.

[shoegal4]

Thanku barky.. Newenglandkid...shoegal4

 

Should i change my fb password and block her on whatsapp and fb.... Or should i let it go as the things r going... ?? (What can i do to make her to miss me more)

 

From my experience, blocking from all communication possible (phone, Facebook, Instagram etc) seems to work better for me. What I don't know, can't hurt me. Change your FB password ASAP. It's keeping her in your life in a small way and the less she knows, the better. Keep her wondering. I fell off the face of the earth with my ex. The only way he can contact me is if he shows up at my door. Although I pray he does not lol

 

Stop communications with her or keeping things around that make you think of her. Good luck.

[barky2]

The idea that they will have to figure it out for themselves, which means they'll be thinking about you more and more.

 

Right Barky?

 

In theory yes.

 

I'm sure it's driving her nuts.

 

BUT

 

It won't change anything.

 

If it does it'll be short lived until she finds out you're not taken.

 

But her being jealous, won't change the aspect of your relationship.

 

A healthy relationship doesn't happen because of jealousy.

 

It's time and effort.

 

But to answer your question, yes...im sure she's going nuts.

 

Don't give her an inch.

 

Mark my words. Not an inch.

 

 

 

Barky

[barky2]

Thanku barky.. Newenglandkid...shoegal4

 

Should i change my fb password and block her on whatsapp and fb.... Or should i let it go as the things r going... ?? (What can i do to make her to miss me more)

 

I answered newenglandkid post as it pertains to your question also.

 

But.

 

Of course change your password.

 

But read my reply to nek.

 

 

 

Barky

[edgygirl]

Barky... I like your points although I'm not sure I believe in full NC...

 

So here's my question: we had a very intense 4-month relationship that ended a month ago. Awesome for 3 months and bad in the last one. Now that we broke up, will the last bad month be in his head or the awesome times we had together? How do guys think? For the record, he's very rational while I am a feeling type.

 

We were in partial contact for around 2-3 of the last 4 weeks and I decided to not reply to his last email. Is that the right way to go?

[l.k]

Thanku...

 

Can u just tell me what she is going to think or do when she will find out that i had changed my fb password and deleted her from my whatsapp ??

[David87]

Thanku...

 

Can u just tell me what she is going to think or do when she will find out that i had changed my fb password and deleted her from my whatsapp ??

 

Why do you care what she thinks? Shell say something like this wow this guy finally grew a pair of b888s..

[shoegal4]

Thanku...

 

Can u just tell me what she is going to think or do when she will find out that i had changed my fb password and deleted her from my whatsapp ??

 

lk - it doesn't matter what she thinks. Let her think what she wants. You have to do what's going to keep you sane. Her thoughts are currently irrelevent in your world. Keep that mindset.

[newenglandkid]

Barky,

 

Been since Monday since last contact with the ex. I've had times when I really want to text her but I haven't.

 

 

So last night I go out with a few friends and end up hooking up with a girl at the bar. I don't really feel that bad because my ex told me two weeks ago that she "met" someone and I take that as they're seeing each other and hooking up.

 

So I just left that chicks house, and my mind is right back on my ex. Hooking up almost makes me want her more. Did you experience the same thing? Has anyone else been through something similar?

[barky2]

Barky,

 

Been since Monday since last contact with the ex. I've had times when I really want to text her but I haven't.

 

 

So last night I go out with a few friends and end up hooking up with a girl at the bar. I don't really feel that bad because my ex told me two weeks ago that she "met" someone and I take that as they're seeing each other and hooking up.

 

So I just left that chicks house, and my mind is right back on my ex. Hooking up almost makes me want her more. Did you experience the same thing? Has anyone else been through something similar?

 

Ya I mean to a point.

 

All I did was party, hook up, repeat.

 

The down time my head wandered sure.

 

Keep yourself busy.

 

What you're feeling or experiencing is why people rebound.

 

It's a distraction.

 

But you're doing it the right way.. Soon enough you won't think about her so much and the thought will just continue to slow down.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[furby58]

Hi Barky ,

 

2.5 years happily together ,living together 2.4 years , hardly argued , was planning to get engaged then bam the BU hit me like an invincible truck.

 

Is it too late to cut ties and start full NC 7 months post break up ?

 

when ..

we still talk (he initiates all the contact ) and we see each other here and there.

freaks the f out when i went on holiday that he didnt know about and i didnt respond to his whatsapp ..he went to my place and checked if i was home :/.

When im sick..freaking attentive and always messaging to make sure im getting better .

As of late everytime he sees me , usually dolled up he assumes i was on a date and been checking my singledom directly and indirectly more and more frequently. (IMHO gets very jealous at the idea of me with another guy , wanting to know details about said guy etc ) oh and who im sleeping with as well (wtttf)

 

lastly we had an intense chat last night because frankly i was getting sick of this whole merry go around. He said that he feels like he owes me and have to make sure im ok and happy.The past 7 months he has always refer to the new girl hes dating seeing whatever as "someone" until last night that he told me she(gf) doesnt like him talking to me yet he continues to still see and contact me despite her disapproval. When i asked as to why he couldnt let me go completely since we both know we cant be friends (thank you to the crazy chemistry that still exist between us ) , why hes still looking after me and doing all these things...all i got was i dont know , i just do its bizzare *face palm* After our convo , he did msg me apologising and asking for some time so he could sort him self out :/

 

 

I should mention part of me still loves the guy just as much as when we were together despite all the cr×p he put me through and would like to reconcile but after being told he has a gf now ..i think any chance went down the sewer .

 

 

Thanks

Furby

[barky2]

Hi Barky ,

 

2.5 years happily together ,living together 2.4 years , hardly argued , was planning to get engaged then bam the BU hit me like an invincible truck.

 

Is it too late to cut ties and start full NC 7 months post break up ?

 

when ..

we still talk (he initiates all the contact ) and we see each other here and there.

freaks the f out when i went on holiday that he didnt know about and i didnt respond to his whatsapp ..he went to my place and checked if i was home :/.

When im sick..freaking attentive and always messaging to make sure im getting better .

As of late everytime he sees me , usually dolled up he assumes i was on a date and been checking my singledom directly and indirectly more and more frequently. (IMHO gets very jealous at the idea of me with another guy , wanting to know details about said guy etc ) oh and who im sleeping with as well (wtttf)

 

lastly we had an intense chat last night because frankly i was getting sick of this whole merry go around. He said that he feels like he owes me and have to make sure im ok and happy.The past 7 months he has always refer to the new girl hes dating seeing whatever as "someone" until last night that he told me she(gf) doesnt like him talking to me yet he continues to still see and contact me despite her disapproval. When i asked as to why he couldnt let me go completely since we both know we cant be friends (thank you to the crazy chemistry that still exist between us ) , why hes still looking after me and doing all these things...all i got was i dont know , i just do its bizzare *face palm* After our convo , he did msg me apologising and asking for some time so he could sort him self out :/

 

 

I should mention part of me still loves the guy just as much as when we were together despite all the cr×p he put me through and would like to reconcile but after being told he has a gf now ..i think any chance went down the sewer .

 

 

Thanks

Furby

 

 

 

Classic case of doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to have you.

 

I.e the jealousy, checking up ect.

 

 

It's never too late to go nc.

 

Never.

 

Sometimes people go right into it after a breakup, some wait years.

 

It's all based on when said Person just sayS " I've had enough".

 

I would just simply say " listen I have to let you go so I can move on with my life, you're keeping me around for your own needs not mine. I will contact you when I'm ready " or finish it up with " or contact me when you want to make us work"

 

Then block him out on anything.

 

I'm telling you, he is the perfect type to flip out and go crazy when you don't answer him or he doesn't know what you're doing.

 

It'll either snap him back in to wanting to be with you, or you will find someone else.

 

That's the best part of nc.

 

Either they realized what they've lost, or you move on.

 

 

But nc is for the latter of the two.

 

That's what it's designed for, and that's how it normally ends.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[Michael 93]

@barky2

 

Alright Barky

 

Just a quick question. After losing the woman you never thought you could live without did you ever find someone else that made you feel that way again?

 

You know when you see them and you know that's the woman you want to spend your life with?

 

That's how I felt with my ex. And I've never been so hurt in all my life.

 

I want to know that one day I will be able to look at someone else the same.

 

Thanks man

[barky2]

@barky2

 

Alright Barky

 

Just a quick question. After losing the woman you never thought you could live without did you ever find someone else that made you feel that way again?

 

You know when you see them and you know that's the woman you want to spend your life with?

 

That's how I felt with my ex. And I've never been so hurt in all my life.

 

I want to know that one day I will be able to look at someone else the same.

 

Thanks man

 

 

Absolutely know the feeling.

 

I'm proof of getting your ex back.

 

And I'm also proof of moving on.

 

I love my new girlfriend ( in a few weeks she'll hopefully say yes to my marriage proposal.)

 

It's not the same love.

 

It's different.

 

But not in a bad way.

 

I got my ex back then realized nothing had changed, it was the same old immature relationship..and I moved on.

 

Now I have the perfect relationship, now becoming a father to a son in early September, and asking her to marry me.

 

There is life after a heart break, I'm living proof.

 

Oh and my ex still tries to come back once and awhile, yet I choose to just ignore. I'm done and over it. I've moved on, an couldn't be happier.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[BrokenHeartAndWings]

Barky,

 

I've been reading this thread and appreciate the time you give to everyone here.

 

Is there a way I can privately share my situation with you? I do not see a PM or Inbox feature. Let me know. Thanks!

[BrokenHeartAndWings]

I'm hesitant to post my situation on a public forum (I have my reasons) but at the same time I REALLY need advice, feed back, especially from the male perspectives.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Barky,

 

I've been reading this thread and appreciate the time you give to everyone here.

 

Is there a way I can privately share my situation with you? I do not see a PM or Inbox feature. Let me know. Thanks!

 

You havent been a member long enough or have enough post.

[BrokenHeartAndWings]

So I have to post my situation publicly, here?

[Always Pondering]

So I have to post my situation publicly, here?

 

Either that or your own thread in any of the sections of the forum. Private Messages are open to "Established Members", where the requirements are met if your account is at least one month old and have a minimum post count IIRC.

 

If you support Loveshack by becoming a Supporting Member with the premium subscription ($2.50 if you choose one-month non-recurring) then you will have instant access to PMs and other features.