sumdude Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Hi folks, My fiancee and I have been engaged since the end of June. It was a great trip and moment. We have been together 5 years and living together for 3. The day we returned from the trip we stopped by my parents to announce the news. The rough thing is my mother was diagnosed with cancer on that same day (we didn't know at the time we showed up). So that was a very bittersweet moment. It's been a trial trying to plan everything. Plus the fact that we are self financing the wedding which we can barely afford. Setting a date has even been harder. There's no knowing what my mother's condition will be and exactly when she might go through procedures. We originally wanted to go with June. there's no real prognosis with Mom. A day to day thing waiting for doctors to make decisions. Some family memebers want us to do things ASAP. I've talked with Mom, she says don't make plans based on her. So everthing has been kinda up in the air. the stress on the two of us has been high. We joined my family's church. We have been looking at reception sites. I think we have a middle of the road date set in April. The holidays are coming and my mom might have a couple procedures during that time, Jan and Feb are too soon and cold then Lent and Easter. Still the spectre of what might happen keeps weighing on me. It's been a rough year, I had an ankle operation in March that had me down for 3 months and still bothers me. Then a big up with the engagement followed by the return and diagnosis. I guess it's true what they say. It doesn't get any easier as you get older. Guess I just needed to vent a bit.......... Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I'm sorry to hear that things are so hard right now. All I can say it to take it one step at a time. Have you tried talking to your minister about all this? Some counselling might be in order. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 If you are sure you want to get married, I would suggest you plan a simple wedding for the near future. If you try to work around your mother's medical treatments, it just is impossible to plan. It is more important to actually get married than to have a big shindig, IMO. And your mom's health is taking up lots of your time and attention, and is more important than the style of wedding. The marriage is way more important than the wedding. I hope this plan would not be a big disappointment to the bride. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sumdude Posted November 11, 2004 Author Share Posted November 11, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate If you are sure you want to get married, I would suggest you plan a simple wedding for the near future. If you try to work around your mother's medical treatments, it just is impossible to plan. It is more important to actually get married than to have a big shindig, IMO. And your mom's health is taking up lots of your time and attention, and is more important than the style of wedding. The marriage is way more important than the wedding. I hope this plan would not be a big disappointment to the bride. Well we have some time since we just started with the church (Catholic) and have our first meeting with the priest this weekend. There are some things we have to do first before they marry us either way, classes etc. I think by the time that all happens it's likely to be the new year at least. if not later. Then Feb and March are out because we cannot be married during Lent or Easter so it looks like the earliest we can be married might even be April. BTW being married in my families church is very important to both my mother and father so a quick civil ceremony won't do. If something drastic were to happen in my mom's health (which is less likely yet anything is possibly) we might be able to get things together somehow. My fiancee is understanding but at some level it would definitely be a disappointment to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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