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Letting the girl decide the dates?


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I just want people's opinions.

 

When a guy lets a girl decide dates (in a relationship) which is more likely:

 

A. He wants her to pick something she likes so it's guaranteed she'll enjoy whatever it is.

 

B. He doesn't want to be bothered enough to plan something

 

Examples: He lets her pick where they go out to eat 90% of the time. When they hang out he's always asking her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Is he doing that because he legitimately wants to ensure she enjoys herself, or because it's easier for him if she just picks the activities/restaurants?

 

Just curious to what people think of this

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Hmm, I've actually never had the opportunity to pick a date myself... the idea is intriguing though!

 

I would assume that it's probably a combination of both. He might like a break from planning while also giving her the opportunity to take the reigns and try something new.

 

 

Maybe a bit of a win-win for everyone?

 

 

Unless she picks something horrific. XD

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I hate it [if its the first few dates]

 

If a man asked me out and is interested in me, he should plan the date.

 

Ive been on several dates that I have planned with guys who are too nervous to the point where I end up ordering food for him and myself. No thanks

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Ive been on several dates that I have planned with guys who are too nervous to the point where I end up ordering food for him and myself. No thanks

 

Oh wow. Did you see any of them again?

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I've found it always to be case B. If he is worried she won't have a good time, he can always suggest a couple options and let her choose which sounds best. Not to say a guy should have to plan all the dates, but guys who always put the decisions on me drive me crazy. Especially when I suggest a couple options and they shoot both down.

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Oh wow. Did you see any of them again?

 

Most of the time, no. But one I did, I dated him for a while. Saw him the other day, went out to eat, why I had to explain the menu to him I have no idea, hope to not run into him again.

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If they are actually in a relationship already, it really just depends on what they both enjoy. That's pretty much the only way to tell which one is the correct option in your scenario. (A) if he demonstrates due care and investment in other ways, while the woman actually enjoys picking 90% of the time. (B) if otherwise.

 

I pick where we eat, well, not 90% of the time, but definitely more than 50%. This is because I enjoy picking and the bf doesn't. I'm a huge foodie, I love going through food blogs and restaurant reviews, and I pride myself on being able to find amazing hole-in-the-wall places with gorgeous food for a fraction of the price of standard restaurants. He knows this, given that we've been in a R with each other for a long time, and I also know that he doesn't like doing all that. So, win-win.

 

If it were the early dating stages and he was leaving all the picking up to me simply out of laziness, that would be a different story.

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Betterthanthis13

He's either insecure, or not into you? I don't find either one of those options appealing-

 

It's either he can't express his opinion, or he doesn't want to. Either way he's not doing it... yuck

 

If you like the guy, say something about it- maybe he will snap out of it. Its not like he tried to kill your dog or set your house on fire but im already not interested in him. I might not be a good example though. I don't have a lot of patience for that kind of stuff and it would annoy me a lot

 

Id suggest If he doesn't snap out of it right away, or at least have a plausible explanation like another poster whos LTR bf just doesnt like choosing restaurants while she really enjoys it--- dump

 

Unless you are in the market for a mess

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I just want people's opinions.

 

When a guy lets a girl decide dates (in a relationship) which is more likely:

 

A. He wants her to pick something she likes so it's guaranteed she'll enjoy whatever it is.

 

B. He doesn't want to be bothered enough to plan something

 

Examples: He lets her pick where they go out to eat 90% of the time. When they hang out he's always asking her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Is he doing that because he legitimately wants to ensure she enjoys herself, or because it's easier for him if she just picks the activities/restaurants?

 

Just curious to what people think of this

 

It depends on how it is done, but most of the time in my experience, men who do this are very lame, they don't care that much and most times just want you to say "Just come over" so they deliberately avoid making concrete plans. :rolleyes:

 

I immediately lose interest in men who take no initiative and who get my number, call or worse text me :rolleyes:, and are like "Let's get together." Me: "Okay sure, have anything in mind?" Them: "Ah...no...I dunno...what do you want to do?" Ughhh NEXT!

 

I need a man with initiative. If you're gonna ask me out, have a plan in mind. Allow me to say yes or no to it or suggest something different, but please bring something to the table. I am so much more impressed when a man invites me on a date and invites me to a restaurant he likes or other place he's been to or some place he wants to try. It makes him way more interesting and someone who seems like they have a life and I'd be sharing in it and not someone who doesn't know anything about anything. Likewise, if I am inviting a man out or we're already together, I'll call and ask him to do something specific which I've already had in mind. He is free to agree or disagree but I don't just call like "Uhh...let's hang out...I dunno what to do...but let's hang out....you chose."

 

I dislike indecision and I love assertiveness and for a man to be engaging, so the whole "I dunno..you decide" and have me plan 90% of dates isn't cool for me.

Edited by MissBee
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