Perves abound!

[Star Gazer]

It just seems like a string of bad luck, Star. That or there's something in the drinking water. I doubt there's anything you can do to prevent this kind of thing from happening, short of not dating altogether.

 

I hope your luck turns around.

 

I expanded my search circle to include San Francisco. The common features of all of these guys?

 

They live in Marin County ($$$).

They're all successful in their chosen fields.

They are incredibly attractive, like model-worthy (and one of them does, in his spare time). Two are vain enough to fake tan and get Botox.

They are 37-39.

They have never been married, and fairly recently out of long-long term relationships.

They all claim they're looking for the real deal, marriage and children.

They all send sexual comments/pictures out of the blue.

 

So, me thinks I'm going to avoid this particular "type" for a while.

[MrTurk]

It just seems like a string of bad luck, Star. That or there's something in the drinking water. I doubt there's anything you can do to prevent this kind of thing from happening, short of not dating altogether.

 

I hope your luck turns around.

 

 

Its NOT bad luck. She is the prey....and shes surrounded by hungry hunters.

 

Its no different than a mouse trying to navigate through a path with snakes at every turn.

 

Every day the mouse wishes the snakes would stop trying to eat him....yet every day the same thing happens over and over.

 

The snakes will never STOP being snakes. It is up to the mouse to better his own situation and choose a new route.

[fortyninethousand322]

Notice how you completely disregard or negate anything that doesn't fit into your internal concept of what is or should be? Learn to gauge by individual, not by stereotype and this will go a long way to not exceeding social dynamics of acceptable behaviours.

 

As it relates to this thread, these guys have not only exceeded SGs social boundaries, they've smashed head first into her natural moron wall, brain matter and guts flying all over the place.

 

And the good question is why? Has it served some use for these men in the past? Did some "self-help" dating book tell them to do this? Or are they just wired wrong?

[Star Gazer]

Is it about their lack of social skills, or about the fact that you wanted this person to look at you differently?

 

Uh, I don't want anyone to look at me as the type of girl who'd welcome unsolicited cock shots. I hope that goes without saying.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Its NOT bad luck. She is the prey....and shes surrounded by hungry hunters.

 

Its no different than a mouse trying to navigate through a path with snakes at every turn.

 

Every day the mouse wishes the snakes would stop trying to eat him....yet every day the same thing happens over and over.

 

The snakes will never STOP being snakes. It is up to the mouse to better his own situation and choose a new route.

 

 

This. And to quote Einstein..."Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result".

[tbf]

Explain to me oh wise one.....HOW in the world am I going to gauge guys as an individual....on this topic.....since I date women?????

 

I am speaking from experience, hearing story after story from tons and tons of women, that this happens to them over and over.

So as a guy, you can't gauge men individually?

 

That's because women are going to complain about the things they find disturbing. This doesn't mean that all guys and all women are the same, hence gauge by individual, regardless of gender.

 

Dang, that sounds offal.

'Tis the nature of the killing field where retarded men splatter and smart men strategically navigate, so they're able to finally plant their victory flag.

[Star Gazer]

And the good question is why? Has it served some use for these men in the past? Did some "self-help" dating book tell them to do this? Or are they just wired wrong?

 

In giving them the benefit of the doubt...

 

...they all got out of long-long term relationships fairly recently. I suspect their ex-GFs, after having established that relationship and involved in sexual relationships, welcomed this stuff up until the end. And so, they think it's "normal." They think this is what women like, because their ex did. They seem to have forgotten that they had to lay foundation with their then-GFs at the beginning, because it's been so long since that happened.

 

That's giving them the benefit of the doubt. I tend to think they're perverted narcissists.

[Star Gazer]

This. And to quote Einstein..."Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result".

 

Sometimes, they must get a different result - some woman goes "Oh la la! A penis! Yes, give it to me, NOW!" - otherwise, why would they continue doing it?

 

Stupid men attract stupid women.

[tbf]

Men are taught to make a move fast or be fz'd

 

As a guess, this would be the reason. When PUA Internet memes have infested mainstream, guys, especially socially awkward ones, learn this concept but don't have the savvy to know how to flirt and suggest by inference. So they pull out the meat...

 

And the good question is why? Has it served some use for these men in the past? Did some "self-help" dating book tell them to do this? Or are they just wired wrong?

This has already been addressed in an earlier post. The nice guy/jerk memes that PUA has inflated to necessity.

[Star Gazer]

Nor does taking ten minutes to take your emotional temperature and lay groundwork.

 

If you were implying that ten minutes would have garnered a response, you're wrong.

[MrTurk]

This. And to quote Einstein..."Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result".

 

Its NOT bad luck. She is the prey....and shes surrounded by hungry hunters.

 

Its no different than a mouse trying to navigate through a path with snakes at every turn.

 

Every day the mouse wishes the snakes would stop trying to eat him....yet every day the same thing happens over and over.

 

The snakes will never STOP being snakes. It is up to the mouse to better his own situation and choose a new route.

 

 

This is where women have their downfall. They need to learn that MOST guys that appoach them are pervs, losers, liars, and cheats.

 

Those guys are the ones that have the strongest "hunting" drive in them. They NEED to get a woman to feed to hunger (Tiger Woods)

 

It has nothing to do with the woman....its the thrill of proving to themselves they are a man, and can conquer.

 

Guys that tend to be nicer...and treat women with respect.....are not out on the prowl. They are not the walk up and ask you out types. They are not the type of guy that you wish would grab you at that perfect moment...and kiss you like youve never been kissed.

 

The good guys are out there....but YOU as a woman need to step out of your comfort zone more than you are used to. Too many women want to drop subtle hints(even though it feels like a huge hint, its still subtle to the rest of the world) and hope and pray they guys picks up on it...and he makes a move.

 

.

[fortyninethousand322]

In giving them the benefit of the doubt...

 

...they all got out of long-long term relationships fairly recently. I suspect their ex-GFs, after having established that relationship and involved in sexual relationships, welcomed this stuff up until the end. And so, they think it's "normal." They think this is what women like, because their ex did. They seem to have forgotten that they had to lay foundation with their then-GFs at the beginning, because it's been so long since that happened.

 

That's giving them the benefit of the doubt. I tend to think they're perverted narcissists.

 

Yeah I think the bolded is more accurate.

 

It's really no different than how you would treat a stranger you just met vs longtime friends. Friends have certain social mores that govern how they interact. Some guys will walk up to their friends and say "what's up loser?" or some variation thereof. You don't see that happen with people you just met, even if you hope to build a friendship with that person. Similar with how you treat someone you just met that you hope to date and/or have sex with vs someone you have been sleeping with for a while.

 

Something is missing with these guys...

[sweetjasmine]

I expanded my search circle to include San Francisco. The common features of all of these guys?

 

They live in Marin County ($$$).

They're all successful in their chosen fields.

They are incredibly attractive, like model-worthy (and one of them does, in his spare time). Two are vain enough to fake tan and get Botox.

They are 37-39.

They have never been married, and fairly recently out of long-long term relationships.

They all claim they're looking for the real deal, marriage and children.

They all send sexual comments/pictures out of the blue.

 

So, me thinks I'm going to avoid this particular "type" for a while.

 

Ah. Based on my own judgments of that type (model looks, vanity, recently single), I'd guess that they're actually getting some success out of this kind of behavior in other situations and figure that trying it out on everyone they come across might work. I have a feeling the marriage/children bit might just be a line. Something that others expect them to play up, so they do and then immediately go for the "hey baby" crap hoping their good looks will be enough to win you over for some fun.

 

Its NOT bad luck. She is the prey....and shes surrounded by hungry hunters.

 

Its no different than a mouse trying to navigate through a path with snakes at every turn.

 

Every day the mouse wishes the snakes would stop trying to eat him....yet every day the same thing happens over and over.

 

The snakes will never STOP being snakes. It is up to the mouse to better his own situation and choose a new route.

 

In other words, men are dumb animals with zero impulse control, and they treat women like objects that they're entitled to, and if the object gets caught and eaten, it's the object's own fault. The stupid dumb man can't possibly be held responsible for his action's because he's a stupid dumb man incapable of thinking for himself. Gotcha.

[Star Gazer]

This is where women have their downfall. They need to learn that MOST guys that appoach them are pervs, losers, liars, and cheats.

 

Disagree.

 

Most men want sex; but that doesn't make them bad people, not by a long shot. I want sex too.

 

But most men are not pervs, losers, liars, cheats. Most men are good hunks of men, who want sex.

 

Those who typically get that sex on the regular from quality women are the guys who understand social cues, boundaries, and have social skillz.

[fortyninethousand322]

This has already been addressed in an earlier post. The nice guy/jerk memes that PUA has inflated to necessity.

 

I think that's too simplistic though.

 

I tend to favor the "born bad/bad wiring" explanation.

 

It makes more sense given what I've noticed...

[fortyninethousand322]

In other words, men are dumb animals with zero impulse control, and they treat women like objects that they're entitled to, and if the object gets caught and eaten, it's the object's own fault. The stupid dumb man can't possibly be held responsible for his action's because he's a stupid dumb man incapable of thinking for himself. Gotcha.

 

Not going to lie, some men really are....

[MrTurk]

 

Those who typically get that sex on the regular from quality women are the guys who understand social cues, boundaries, and have social skillz.

 

So in other words....the guys that go along with the games that they know women love to play are the ones that get rewarded more often??

 

I agree....but I also agree my explanation is far more accurate than trying to use "social cues" as the phrase.

[tbf]

I expanded my search circle to include San Francisco. The common features of all of these guys?

 

They live in Marin County ($$$).

They're all successful in their chosen fields.

They are incredibly attractive, like model-worthy (and one of them does, in his spare time). Two are vain enough to fake tan and get Botox.

They are 37-39.

They have never been married, and fairly recently out of long-long term relationships.

They all claim they're looking for the real deal, marriage and children.

They all send sexual comments/pictures out of the blue.

 

So, me thinks I'm going to avoid this particular "type" for a while.

YES! This is good stuff. You've identified the type where overwhelming vanity is the underlying issue.

[MrTurk]

And she wonders why shes getting the type of responses she gets???

 

Shocker

 

 

.

[Star Gazer]

Are you attracted to pretty boy, metrosexual types?

 

Oh, hell no! I'm attracted to bald guys with scruff who wear plaid flannel and chucks and spend their winters living out the back of their vintage 4Runner chasing snow storms and their summers bumming down the coast to surf and barely taking time to find clothes that match. Know the type? These three are actually against type... I was trying something different, in part due to expanding my dating circle geographically to include the North Bay.

 

There are lots of well-dressed, educated men here but I've NEVER met one who tans or gets botox. That's just absurd.

 

Tanning is crazy common in California, unfortunately. I'm the lone white/pink girl.

[Star Gazer]

And utterly debauched, decadent real perverts can possess all those traits. In fact, would suggest they have more of those traits because they are more practiced. If OP guy is a pervo, he's a very nooby one, same with c-shot guy. They are the Beavis and Butthead of pervos. This thread is really complaining about competence, not pervos all over the place out there.

 

Why are you mincing words?

 

You either think the behavior in the OP was appropriate or not.

[MrTurk]

These three are actually against type... I was trying something different, in part due to expanding my dating circle geographically to include the North Bay.

 

 

Is it really that geographically specific as in cutting slices of a pie, as far as finding such diverse people in the different locations??

[Star Gazer]

Ok whew. And don't go tanning that pretty skin. It looks so horrid!

 

Jergens Daily Glow is my friend in the summer; other than that, I embrace my whiteness... keeps me lookin' younger too.

[MrTurk]

I'm attracted to bald guys with scruff

 

Thats me

 

 

.

[fortyninethousand322]

Disagree.

 

Most men want sex; but that doesn't make them bad people, not by a long shot. I want sex too.

 

But most men are not pervs, losers, liars, cheats. Most men are good hunks of men, who want sex.

 

Those who typically get that sex on the regular from quality women are the guys who understand social cues, boundaries, and have social skillz.

 

I don't know, not always.

 

Like I said earlier, there's a guy I know from high school through college, lives right down the street from me. For as long as I can remember he's gotten several quality girlfriends, some for over a year. However, he's a creeper in the real sense of the word. He repeatedly sent flirty/sexual texts to a friend of mine despite her repeated explicit disinterest (he even followed her around the neighborhood in his car while she was jogging). He also asked my (then 17 year old) sister to sleep with him via text.

 

He understands social cues, he just doesn't always care about them.