Perves abound!

[veggirl]

Who says I'm ignoring that?

 

It was inappropriate, period. Was it not?

 

yeah! Of course.

But everyone is like oh wah wah he lost his shot. When really the motivation of the dude likely has nothing to do with trying to date.

 

It doesn't take 20+ pages to decide if he was inappropriate, don't get on me for participating in a conversation that evolved into motives and whatnot.

[Star Gazer]

Actually, you did pick pervs, which is why you made this thread. Or are you telling me you didn't pass over any "boring" guys between finding these prizes of humanity?

 

Didja read my thread about the guy who hasn't even kissed me yet after two dates, with no sign of perversion? He's who I've *picked*, pal.

[DresdenKing]

Didja read my thread about the guy who hasn't even kissed me yet after two dates, with no sign of perversion? He's who I've *picked*, pal.

 

This is telling. On an earlier page, you wrote:

 

You wonder why I'm single? This is why. This is precisely why. I go from one extreme (unsolicited cock shots) to the other (hug at the end of the second date, with no innuendo ever). I'm hoping the pendulum will eventually settle somewhere in the middle.

What I've gleaned from you is that you'd much rather experience the latter approach (of no sexual advances) until YOU feel ready for them to occur. I'd even venture to say it attracts you, albeit in a frustrating way. The problem is that men don't always intuitively know when a woman feels ready, due to an overall inferior intuitiveness when it comes to body language and non-verbal communication (sorry guys, it's true) and an unfortunate general lack of psychic powers. So, holding back until you give the green light makes a lot more sense as an approach.

 

In your other thread you vented with frustration about the guy not having kissed you yet...but now I'm realizing it wasn't so much a complaint, was it? You LIKE that he's made you wait because he's delayed your gratification and subsequently elevated your sexual interest and anticipation.

 

In the end, you're still with him and interested in seeing him again. You probably would NOT be if he were to have introduced innuendos and sexual matters ("perversion" is a terribly misused word and not the appropriate one in this context) early on say in the first date. This thread has been rather insightful and illuminating and I think guys should take note.

 

Women: Indeed, the absolute ideal in your encounters with men would be to have that aforementioned proverbial pendulum swing precisely in the middle, but I hope you appreciate how small that window is you've constructed and how challenging it can be for a man to know when to make his advance, lest he gets labeled a pervert OR a castrated dullard with no sexual interest/experience.

 

Men: You are much more likely to get a woman to open up about her sexuality with you if you exercise patience and tact, like Star's current guy clearly has (I considered the possibility of him merely being shy at first, but I'm confident he's aware of what he's doing now and may be quite the player/gamer; protect your heart, Star!). The key to your pants may be through your eyes, but the key to a woman's is through her mind. Stimulate it selflessly... and maybe DO just hug her at the end of a second date. It will drive her wild, evidently.

Edited August 25, 2013 by DresdenKing

[RedRobin]

I'm just going to say this straight out...

 

Having cock pics sent to you from a stranger has nothing to do with sex in my book..

 

It's a form of violence and anger.

 

Let's just say she HAD responded... is there any guarantee that he would have showed up?? or even made good on his 'visual promise'???

 

NO!!

 

To me, it is a way that some a-hole men take their BS out on women (at worst)... or at best are just really clueless and have ridiculously poor skills thanks to some baloney they read online or in a book about showing sexual interest.

 

So, no. I don't think Star, you deserved this... or asked for it AT ALL.

 

I will say that you need to sort out men who are angry, mean, vindictive and prone to using women for sex... that doesn't guarantee you can avoid them altogether. Some are really, really good at hiding it.... and yes, when you are lonely and hopeful, I get it that you want to believe the best and give someone the benefit of the doubt.

 

Any man who uses the word 'slut', 'wife material' (or any material)... 'low maintenance'... or really... any word you'd find in PUA lit has to go... or be put on a really long leash.

 

I'll give you an example from my own life... Mr. Ryan Gosling look alike....remember him from my posts? He used the 'slut' word to describe a fellow acquaintance in our first 'date-like' outing... but one of my very good friends who had run with him for months had called him a nice guy... so I temporarily overlooked it.

 

I spent nearly two months getting to know the guy, or trying to. What a waste of time. Well, maybe. His use of that word, his THREE YEAR so-called FWB relationship... the duping glee when I asked about his new work schedule... it all added up to a mean, manipulative guy who was doing his absolute best to find a replacement for his prior 'FWB' and play the field... while of course telling me he wanted a relationship with me. :lmao::lmao: Ya right... Lucky me... I didn't buy it... and even better?? before it was all over, he talked down my good friend who had trusted him with his confidence. NOT a nice guy.

 

anyway, sorry to digress... just sayin' I KNOW how this ends... I guess you can say that we should both be thankful you didn't sleep with that clown on the first date. He'd be calling you something else via text when you finally kicked him to the curb.

 

and even while I'm sitting here trying to help you (WTF am *I* thinking!!)... I'm still mad about you joining in on that dig in the other thread on me. Not sure why you did that. Maybe there is a mean, angry streak in there that is attracting the same. Something for both of us to ponder perhaps.

 

oh... and try to be nice to the guy who is showing a bit more diplomacy and discretion...

[RedRobin]

Men: You are much more likely to get a woman to open up about her sexuality with you if you exercise patience and tact, like Star's current guy clearly has (I considered the possibility of him merely being shy at first, but I'm confident he's aware of what he's doing now and may be quite the player/gamer; protect your heart, Star!). The key to your pants may be through your eyes, but the key to a woman's is through her mind. Stimulate it selflessly... and maybe DO just hug her at the end of a second date. It will drive her wild, evidently.

 

Perhaps... but if the person really is a snake down deep, they can't hide it forever. No matter how slick or patient or HOT he/she is...

 

... yet another reminder why I don't date strangers....

[gaius]

Sure... hasn't worked for me YET... but my dating life is a lot more peaceful and filled with much fewer A-holes since I did this...

You just haven't met the right guy yet. There aren't many real men left out there so I'm not surprised.

Edited August 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Divasu]

I think it's pretty simple why some men do this, for the same reason some women send nude photos of themselves (their naked breasts, butt, and....).

 

My guess would be a combination of trying to impress the other with his/her physical assets, to turn the other person on sexually, and, for attention.

 

After all, it is his "mating tool"...

 

Alas, there is a simple solution if/when this happens and it doesn't impress, hit delete.

[Star Gazer]

So, aside from him being your typical mouth breather who thinks his c*ck is magical, he's also a cop on top of it? Lucky you - yet another delusional moron with a God complex who thinks all women find him irresistible. It just makes him even MORE puke-worthy.

 

Yup. He's a cop by day, law student by night, model on the weekends (Botox and spray tans included). He's very attractive, and his penis is quite large. His ego is huge, and very fragile.

[RedRobin]

Really? You realize lots of men learn those ways of characterizing people from women, right? Not just bad women, but LOTS of women use the terms "slut," "BF/husband material," "low/high maintenance." I don't know men who use the terms until they learn them from womanspeak, certainly not regularly. Lots of women say these things with much greater frequency than men IME.

 

I learned the concept of "maintenance" low or high, from a woman, also the term "material" as in "BF, husband... material," women teach men to think thus, not PUAs. So no, it doesn't come from PUA, it comes from "clever" feminine snark ala Carrie Bradshaw, Mean Girls cliques (real or fiction) and "Aunt Mabel." These notions come from the ways lots of women characterize others and men pick up on it. Same for "creepy, stalker, pervo, predator, desperate, lech, chemistry, loser" and a whole lot more. Men don't spontaneously learn to think in these ways, women, sisters, mothers, friends, etc. teach them.

 

Funny trying to tag PUA with every purported dating ill, especially those that actually originate with normal, average women.

 

I'm sure you are right... but I don't date women and neither does Star last time I checked.

 

None of my male or female friends use the lingo above, nor do we read the listed reading material you mentioned... PUA oriented or otherwise...

 

It's like any habit though... you can choose to put it aside and form new ones... better ones... if you put your mind to it. Even you, darling... We haven't given up on you yet...

[lino]

'WHAT has happened to GENTLEMEN?'

 

When you were younger, you would've shown them the 'appreciation' they get for being a gentleman.

That's what happened to them.

[lino]

Really? You realize lots of men learn those ways of characterizing people from women, right? Not just bad women, but LOTS of women use the terms "slut," "BF/husband material," "low/high maintenance." I don't know men who use the terms until they learn them from womanspeak, certainly not regularly. Lots of women say these things with much greater frequency than men IME.

 

I learned the concept of "maintenance" low or high, from a woman, also the term "material" as in "BF, husband... material," women teach men to think thus, not PUAs. So no, it doesn't come from PUA, it comes from "clever" feminine snark ala Carrie Bradshaw, Mean Girls cliques (real or fiction) and "Aunt Mabel." These notions come from the ways lots of women characterize others and men pick up on it. Same for "creepy, stalker, pervo, predator, desperate, lech, chemistry, loser" and a whole lot more. Men don't spontaneously learn to think in these ways, women, sisters, mothers, friends, etc. teach them.

 

Funny trying to tag PUA with every purported dating ill, especially those that actually originate with normal, average women.

 

I don't give a sh*t about pua but this is spot on!

 

Women use the words 'slut, marriage material, etc' way more than guys do.

[Leigh 87]

Talking about pervs.........

 

This really obese and unattractive truck driver that knew my ex boyfriends father and used to stay at the house once a week on his long drive back between states.......

 

 

Well, he got my number and texted me: he wishes he was fcking me cos he would treat me better than my ex, apparently...

 

He is in his 60's:sick:

 

Ugh. At least the guy this thread was made about was a normal looking guy of the OPS age range:sick:

 

I told my ex about it and he is fuming. Though he knew this guy was a dodgy old bastard, it is pretty wrong of him to be so gross:sick:

[mesmerized]

I've never heard women using the word slut, but I've heard it a lot from men. The other terms I have, on rare occasions, I've even used them myself a couple of times.