MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Hi all, haven't been here in a while but here goes i'll start with a little background. My boyfriend of 2 years and I are like partners in crime. We help eachother through everything, love eachother dearly, have had a GREAT relationship. Except that about 3 months ago, I noticed he was having lots of text message conversations with a girl who used to be his best friend (with some benefits back in the day). I'm not jealous of his past, but once she found out he had a girlfriend, she started texting like crazy and flirty ones. He seemed to not realize anything was weird, until I mentioned that I felt uncomfortable with her messages and it was inappropriate for her to be in constant contact with him. They never met in person, it was just messages... To him, it was harmless, but when he noticed how much it bothered me... he told me he would stop because nothing is worth losing me - even if it means having to go cold turkey with her... Now, everything has been peachy since.. But lately, I'm kinda curious as to whether or not he has stopped. I found out originally about the messages because I (wrongfully) snooped through his phone... I know he lost some of my trust cuz i snooped and I lost some of his trust cuz of what i found in this whole situation, but that's besides the point. I know I shouldn't have snooped, but I did - and this is where we are now. After he told me he would stop and apologized for unintentionally being disrespectful, we haven't really talked about it again since, there hasn't been that much reason to... Do you think I'll blow it if I bring it up now and ask if she's still messaging him? I have a feeling she still might be, or even call on occassion. Which, by the way, would be fine if her messages wouldn't have been inapproriate... I'm not a jealous girl, and i've never been doubtful, and i would never tell him not to talk to a friend just because it was a girl - it was just SO obvious that she was trying to see how far she could go with the flirting and he even admitted it did seem a little weird.... so since then i've been a bit jealous and insecure Now, should I just shut up and try to get over it - or should I ask him if theyre still communicating etc. For some reason, I just want some peace of mind. Reason why I think i shouldnt is cuz he really hasn't given me reason to do it again, but i really need that extra push so i'm not constantly want to snatch his phone from him and check.. SOMEONE SET ME STRAIGHT! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Check his phone again. You've caught him once already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 YIKES! Don't say that i'll run over there right now like a crazy person lol.... Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Rather than snoop...why not just say some evening, "Do you mind if I look at your phone?" He'll either hand it over without a word, or start making excuses as to why it's not OK for you to look. That way, you're not a snooper, but you still get your information. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Man I'm tired of people apologizing profusely for snooping. (Faux where are you? Light my a$$ on fire, dear. I love you anyway.) Its an individual preference, but I dont' mind if my bf snoops on me some. I have nothing to hide, therefore nothing to get defensive about. Check that boy's phone again. If he told you he's not communicating with her anymore, he better stick to it. He made the promise himself. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Yeah, what solemate said! Better yet. But I don't think you're out of line for taking a gander at that phone. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Yeah if he were that smart, he'd erase it anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Yeah if he were that smart, he'd erase it anyway. Thats what I do anyways! omg jkjkjkj but anyways check his phone again! Wtf he's your man, and you already caught him once and if the tables were turned he'd be in your phone reading everything. You don't have to put up with it check it. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Girl if he did it once........... I say you check his phone. I doubt he'll be that stupid, but you never know!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Must admit, i did check like 3 weeks ago... and he only had a couple of messages from me.... HE BETTER NOT BE DELETING ANYTHING!!! grrrr i'd rather just talk about it with him, but its not like he'll say "oh yea, we talk" anyways.. ugghh ok i need to find a slick way of doing it... if i say "do you mind if i look at your phone" wouldn't that just be weird?? Also, I don't want to keep bringing it up cuz i don't want to make her seem more exciting or more intruiging. I cna't figure men out but i do notice from my friends the more you say no to something, the more they want to do it!!! ok, i need to take a gander, but i need to be SLICK!!! Maybe we need to start drinking one night, and i'll ask him for it then hehehe (actually, that's not a good idea - i'll start crying or something) ... mission impossible music ... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I'd try and be cute about it....like....um, I'm checking your phone you little man slut! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 lol.. you're right i think if i joke about it he'll laugh.. and i'll know by his body language if he's hiding something. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 If he tries to stop you, cold clock him upside the head with the phone and check his history THEN wake his punk ass up. Man, what is it with me being violent? I must be sexually frustrated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 I don't know, but you're getting me worked up. I'm about to b**ch at him!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Noooo! Just check his phone when he's in the shower. That boy's gotta shower sooner or later, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Oh yeah the shower!! That when I check my mans phone! I mean..er...play games on it;) If he notices be like yeah I checked your phone, u lied to me once how do I know your not doing it again? Then sneer at him and give him the evil don't mess with me I could be pmsing eyes!! Throw in a bark just in case...ruff ruff.! Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Skip the phone. I go straight to the phone BILL. You can't erase numbers on the phone bill. Of course that only works for calls- not text messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Not true, with certain companies bills you have the #s from text messages too ( ok, now don't ask how i'm so educated in phone bill checking)... YIKES!!! he never opens his bills... always pays online must....find...password.. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Oh wow- my bf's cell phone co. doesn't do that. Wish they did Well if he pays online, does he still get bills? Maybe he just throws them away? Could you intercept them on the way to the trash can? I have the online password myself. Man, I'm evil. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 10, 2004 Author Share Posted November 10, 2004 Actually, there's one of last month in his house i've just been staring at.. it's just there, he doesn't touch it... then again, that's when she was messaging him still - so i'll just bring back old memories that 'll piss me off even more.... i am ANXIOUS, where would he keep the new ones??? uggghhhh this is so invasion of privacy Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Originally posted by tiki If he tries to stop you, cold clock him upside the head with the phone and check his history THEN wake his punk ass up. Man, what is it with me being violent? I must be sexually frustrated. *naive backs away from tiki very slowly* Link to post Share on other sites
zara Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 If you check his phone you can check his sent messages too! That way you can see what he's been sending her! ...are all women like this?? See what you men turn us into???! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted November 11, 2004 Author Share Posted November 11, 2004 Can't see the sent messages for the type of ph we have... that sucks... Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 man that really sucks.... I say forget all the trouble and just ask him! F*ck it. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 Melwell, mine's the same. Does kinda suck. Link to post Share on other sites
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