Author MelWell Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Just a little follow up to my drama. I spoke straight up about the situation to him a while back, and i must say things in general have been SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Snooping can help you figure out the problem, but when push comes to shove talking things out honestly and openly is the best solution. That is my deep thought for the day. XOXO Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 so glad things are good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 Yes, things are good. But i'm just a bit peeved, she still calls sometimes and leaves messages or texts asking about his weekend etc... what did he do.. i don't know why she can't just bugger off. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 Does he reply to her? p.s. don't waste your time trying to figure out why she won't go away- you'll never figure it out! Some girls are just nutty and won't leave well enough alone. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 As far as I know. he doesn't. She left a message the other day saying "you can't avoid me forever!" :::sigh::: she just bugs me.... Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 When she says stuff like "you can't avoid me forever" thats a great sign- that means he's being honest and he isn't contacting her. Trust me, my boyfriend's ex would not leave him alone for the love of God. I feel like we're in the witness protection program. She follows us in public. I'm about to bust out the Groucho Marx glasses & stache combo when we're out on the town. WHY won't she leave him alone? I don't know. She's crazy. No use trying to figure it out or letting it bug you! Its her problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 6, 2004 Author Share Posted December 6, 2004 I guess you are right... Think it just makes my blood boil whenver i see a message from her (guilty of looking again), when he told me she texted him.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 Save.. Does your bf ever respond to her. Or does he just "cold turkey" ignore her?? Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Hi Mel, Once he told me that he would quit talking to her, he quit cold turkey. He called her to say "don't contact me anymore" but she kept on, so I asked him to explain it to her twice more, which he did. But none outside of that. Hows it going for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 Allright, she still hasn't stopped.... And i'm assuming he's keeping his word.. But she has left texts with random stuff like "how's your weekend going, two weekends ago i went to this place called bla bla bla you guys should check it out!" she's weird, super annoying me... And maybe i'm just thinking about it cuz i'm scared. This past weekend he was really serious with me and said he was happy enough to get married and wants to look into places we can live and stuff like that. And if he tells me that, why am i dwelling on this other girl??? Maybe its cuz i read so many horror stories and if that happens to me after I get married I'd just freak out. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Have you gotten a hold of his phone bills or anything that would clear your mind, help validate that he isn't contacting her? It seems weird that she'd still be writing like nothing is wrong, but some girls just don't quit and think if they act like it's all good he'll come around. Or they think that you (the new gf) is keeping him from them and maybe you'll break up and he'll re-establish contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 I haven't gotten a hold of his phone bill. I just feel like if i bring it up again he might snap, we've gone over it so much and the last time he said he wouldn't. So maybe i should relax and give him the benefit of the doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Unfortunately, thats something only you can answer...I'm in the same struggle myself. But I'll always be looking out for your updates, you can always come here for feedback, advice, whatever. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 Hey thanks, knowing me i'll be back soon. Link to post Share on other sites
young&idealistic Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 OMG! I'm reading all of this, and these are EXACTLY the same things I think with my bf! I'm glad I'm not alone out there. The first thing I thought when I was reading about you're snooping in his phone was, well she otta just check his bill... that's what I would do! I just want to say that after an exceptionally long time of not trusting my bf, I finally started making a HUGE effort to not snoop. Not because I think it's wrong necessarily--in a trusting relationship neither party should have a reason to hide things. Its just that snooping becomes so addictive! You make everything into more than it is, and it's almost like you just start looking and hoping you'll find something to make your snooping worthwhile. Like it's a soap, but it's your life... or maybe I'm just crazy (does anybody identify with me there?) But, it seems like your boyfriend is all about you, and actually from reading the stuff earlier it didn't seem like he ever outright lied in the beginning. The last thing you mentioned that she texted was something about "you guys should visit" some place--indicating that she is well aware that he has you as a girlfriend and was giving him advice on some place to take YOU. Honestly, I think the best thing you could do is just be totally confident. If she does still want him, then all the more reason for you to be confident--he is just being nice to her and he loves you. The last thing you should do is tell him not to talk to her. Be cool with it, and be involved. That way you're the cool girlfriend, and you know what's going on with them, and you appear infinitely cooler than her. (I know, easier said than done.) Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Originally posted by young&idealistic The last thing you should do is tell him not to talk to her. Be cool with it, and be involved. That way you're the cool girlfriend, and you know what's going on with them, and you appear infinitely cooler than her. (I know, easier said than done.) That is cool unless the other woman is psycho and mean and comes out later claiming she was sleeping with the boyfriend while you were dating. Happened to me, and it caused a problem because they WERE alone sometimes when I was being the "cool" girlfriend... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 yes, agreed - not sure but i have a hunch that being the "cool" girlfriend is how i got into this mess to begin with. Remember one day ages ago my bf told me that she asked (testing waters i guess?) if i'm jealous and would get upset if she said hello every once in a while, and my "COOL GIRLFRIEND" status got him to tell her that i'm not jealous at all with friends of his that are girls cuz we trust eachother in that department. go figure.... she probably took that and ran - and thought it would be a THRILL to piss me off (since then, i've been a bit less cool and a bit more jealous lol). i'm trying to train myself to just let go... if he's going to cheat, it's his loss and i'm going to find out eventually anyways.. til then i've made it a point that if i want to be truly happy, i need to trust his word... Link to post Share on other sites
rachael Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 check his phone and rem to check the out box if there is nothing on there then gr8. after that ask him if he says he hasent but you have all ready seen them then you know u have a liar Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelWell Posted February 15, 2005 Author Share Posted February 15, 2005 Ok, I'm back. and I have a question for you all. If you've read my prior issue, everythihg HAS BEEN and IS going great in my relationship. But check this out, i'm performing at an upcoming event.. and my darling boyfriend has invited that "old friend/fling/yadda yadda" to come if she wants. mind you we are inviting everyone we know... but WHY would he do that? tell me, cuz i don't know.... is he just totally blind to the fact that he really pissed me off with his prior contact with her (which had stopped for months already). WHY on earth, would he casually forward along the info to her when he sent it to all his group of friends. am i overanalyzing? or do i have a right to be pissed.... cuz i am! Link to post Share on other sites
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