Matibay Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Hello everyone, I've been married to my wife for 13 years and we have a 3 year old and she wants to throw it all away. To make things short is I'm in the military and I have been deployed in Afghanistan and came back in March 2013. After 2 weeks of being home my wife suddenly wanted to separate/divorce which was a shock to me, I was really hurt and confused about what just happened. I'm still hurt because as of this coming sunday she is going to live with her mom and taking our 3 year old with her. I did ask her if she was seeing another man, and she said no, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking it because I have done nothing wrong to deserve this. Ever since then she has made my life a living hell. She has been very cold hearted and basicaly became a stranger in our own home. Her explanation was she was not attracted to me anymore and that the feelings are not there. I was torn and literally fell to my knees when I heard that. The love of my life is gone. Now she wants to separate, I don't know what for, when she could just say I want a divorce being that she has no feelings anymore. I had a prior post similar to this, Lost and I don't know what I did wrong, which was pretty lenghty. This one is just short and to the point. If you guys have time, please give me some feedback as to what is going on? Thank you Matibay Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 She could be cheating on you. And there could be no other man in her life. It can happen that her feelings and sexual attraction for you have diminished. Yes, that can happen, regardless of if there's another guy involved or not. She may be interested in another man or she is tired of sharing her life with you and wants different. Regardless of what will happen you gotta have something in mind: this is not the end of your life. Your life continues and you have a child. Live one day at a time and be good to yourself. Keep posting more info, so that others here may help you better. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Unfortunately this happens a lot with our military folks. Guys and girls go off to fight in a war and husbands, wives, bf&GF'S start cheating.... Makes me sick that they're off risking there lives and their partners and hooking up. I would look into what's going on with her. Investigate. A lot of times, they cheat with other service members. Find out, and if this is the case, go to base legal. Adultery is punishable under the UCMJ and this dude could go to jail over this. Find out, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 I think your last post mentioned some serious depression with your wife. She needs to get into some counselling, even if it means couples to start just so she's going to see someone. I think you mentioned she's on medication but hates it. And I would tend to agree. It just numbs most people and so counselling is a better option to try and find out what is the issue and how to repair it. Link to post Share on other sites
73Fras Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Unfortunately this happens a lot with our military folks. Guys and girls go off to fight in a war and husbands, wives, bf&GF'S start cheating.... Makes me sick that they're off risking there lives and their partners and hooking up. I would look into what's going on with her. Investigate. A lot of times, they cheat with other service members. Find out, and if this is the case, go to base legal. Adultery is punishable under the UCMJ and this dude could go to jail over this. Find out, dude. In the end why bother? It won't change his outcome... Military wife here for almost 22 years - been separated over 1 year - so I definitely can speak to how hard it is. Maybe she just reached a breaking point of holding down the fort? Maybe she did find someone else? Maybe she is just wanting something else from her life? Sadly - unless she is willing to actively work on HER and the Marriage - nothing you can do can keep her married to you. Do you want to be happy or do you want to be married? It sounds like those two things are no longer exclusive.... I wish you luck - do right by your kids and thanks for serving our country.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 In the end why bother? It won't change his outcome...Do you want to be happy or do you want to be married? It sounds like those two things are no longer exclusive.... Well said. If it'll make you feel better you can track her. 3-to-1 odds says it doesn't. My hunch is she's double dipping. Some need proof. Some just focus on the conclusion. In the end, the latter is all that really matters. Your reward for service will have to come from someone else. Not her. Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Well said. My hunch is she's double dipping. Some need proof. Some just focus on the conclusion. In the end, the latter is all that really matters. "Double-dipping"? Heh. I had never heard that one before. Link to post Share on other sites
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