Would you date someone who didn't have a college degree?

[Raye]

I did well in highschool, I didn't have any extracurricular activities but I had a good GPA(3.4), took a few AP(US government and history) classes and got into all of the state schools I applied to(Colorado state university and University of Colorado) as well as a few smaller liberal arts colleges. I ultimately decided not to go to any of them and spent two years playing video games, working odd jobs and taking a class here and there. I finally transferred to another junior college and while I completed the coursework, this past summer I failed my final class, I was 4 credits away from a degree. This was a month ago I decided not to go back and re-try. I hated college, I hated going to lectures, and I hated programming and math. I only chose my major based on earning potential(Computer science). My gpa was abysmal(2.5 and has probably gone down due to the failed class).

 

I just can't get motivated, my parents are both educated(my mom has an associates degree, my dad has a masters) I grew up in a solid middle class home and never wanted for anything. In fact, I didn't qualify for any financial aid because my parents made too much, so being from a poor background isn't the issue in my case. I am 22 and I still do not know what I want to do with my life

 

I moved back in with my parents(who financed my education) and have decided to focus on finding a job, fixing my stress and social anxiety problems, my chronic depression. Over the last two years I have gained 50lbs and my health(physical and mental) has gone downhill. I feel like a pig, I went from 5'9 and 130lbs to 180lbs. I can't believe I let myself go like this.

 

I have never been on a date, I have never been kissed. I don't believe in premarital sex or co-habitation. I am 22, I would like to be married by 26(my mom got married at 23 and has been married to my father for more than 30 years, my father was 30 and divorced for a year when they married). I started a diet and exercise regimen today, and I am looking for a job that I can use my programming skills with, but I am just very depressed. One of my classmates said an educated man would not look twice at me(she had a bachelors and was changing careers). One guy even lost interest when he found out I had no plans to transfer. Going back to college is just not in any of my plans for the near future, I just need a break.

[thefooloftheyear]

People shouldnt be judgemental in this area...Some of the smartest (and successful)people I know either have little or no college education..I have also met some of the downright dumbest and ignorant people who have afvanced college level degrees/education..

 

Measure the individual by his/her own merits..Nowadays, every jerk on the street has a degree. Many cant find their ass with either hand..Its not a knock on higher eduaction, I do believe strongly in it, its just that it doesnt guarantee that person is going to be brilliant..

 

 

I wish you all the best in yur quest to "find" yourself.. Sounds like you have a good plan.

 

TFY

[Mrlonelyone]

Only 1/3 of US people have a 4 year degree.

[waiting4u]

Go to college if you have a chance. For yourself, not to date someone. In the long run you'll be a happier person for having done it.

[Brimstone]

Yeah, college degrees count for nothing. When the economy is like it is now, a degree doesn't weigh as much when getting a job, since there are no jobs. I joke, but there is some truth to that.

 

I am self employed. I don't have a degree. But my work has taken me all over the world(musician), and my friends, who have degrees, say they are jealous of all the things I've seen, done and the people I've met.

 

For me, personal experience weighs more than any piece of paper.

 

Read books and travel the world. That's an education you won't get at any school.... well, maybe the books part...

 

Brimstone

[Mrlonelyone]

Yeah, college degrees count for nothing. When the economy is like it is now, a degree doesn't weigh as much when getting a job, since there are no jobs. I joke, but there is some truth to that.

 

I am self employed. I don't have a degree. But my work has taken me all over the world(musician), and my friends, who have degrees, say they are jealous of all the things I've seen, done and the people I've met.

 

For me, personal experience weighs more than any piece of paper.

 

Read books and travel the world. That's an education you won't get at any school.... well, maybe the books part...

 

Brimstone

 

 

College is a personal experience which often includes everything you just named.

[Stefanie]

My last partner was a full-time chef at a small fine-dining restaurant who left school in year 10. This probably sounds very mediocre to a lot of people and one would say that he has little chance of meeting an educated woman, but I beg to differ.

 

What attracts me and a lot of women (even if they don't know it), is the passion and motivation a man has. Someone who works hard, knows what they want and will go for it. That's attractive to a woman because they feel that this man will provide for them, protect them and stay with them. The reason women initially respond better to a man who has an education or an impressive profession is assumed to have these qualities since he worked hard and got through school, etc.

 

Nonetheless, any man can possess passion and drive. My ex was very hard-working and I admired him for it. He and I talked about our future and he showed determination to work harder and earn it. Now, he's an independent business owner and even though we don't speak, I'm certain he's going places and attracting more women.

 

It doesn't matter what's on the paper, it matters what's on your mind. You seem determined enough to make a new start and set yourself some goals. Great! That's where it starts. It may be more difficult for you since you won't be name-dropping like some academics can, but the women who dismiss you because of it aren't worthy of you anyway.

[darkmoon]

you do not need college as such, but you do need to provide good convos, some people are arty they can not be in an academic box

[Arabella]

I agree completely with Stefanie.

 

While I don't consider a college degree to be a requirement, I DO want a man with drive and desire to succeed. Often, making it through four or more grueling years of college imparts a sense of discipline, and shows you're somewhat motivated. But that's the only reason why it matters at all to me.

 

My fiance didn't have a college degree when we met (we met in college, I went back for a second degree) and worked a blue collar job. He was driven, hard working, and had an excellent sense of responsibility. Those things are the first few qualities about him that attracted me to him.

[GI_Joy]

it has been mentioned in this thread already, but what really attracts me is ambition, purpose, and passion. Many people I've met in college just went to college because they had to or just following along what others wanted them to do. My boyfriend doesn't have a college degree but has more passion and purpose than any other college grad I've met.

[scorpiogirl]

You don't need to have a college degree, but it sounds like you have a few things to work on first.

 

You don't sound like you like yourself very much right now. I've been there, in fact right now I'm taking a break from dating because there are a few things I need to do for myself first. A guy would only distract me from those things and I'll be in the same place because I put dating first.

 

I have two degrees, but this has no impact on my dating life. It still sucks lol.

 

Figure out what you want, work on your weight as it will make you feel so much better about yourself ( I've lost 40 pounds and have a bit more to go). Think about this objectively; given the way you're feeling, would you want to date you right now?

 

You'll have more to offer a potential partner if you're interesting and feeling good about yourself

 

Good luck!

[carhill]

Historically, two of the ladies I had relationships with had college degrees. One was a doctor; the other was a CPA. Another lady did not attend college at all, to my knowledge. My exW attended college but did not graduate. Myself similar. In my generation, it's a mixed bag. There are a fair amount of ladies who don't have college degrees. It's probably different for the younger generations. Such things didn't really factor into my dating behaviors as a younger man. A lady's educational achievements weren't really a factor in the attraction process, for myself. YMMV.

[gaius]

One of my classmates said an educated man would not look twice at me(she had a bachelors and was changing careers). One guy even lost interest when he found out I had no plans to transfer. Going back to college is just not in any of my plans for the near future, I just need a break.

When did this whole dumb idea that women need to be educated for guys to be interested in them come along? It's 1000x more important to know how to stimulate guys than to have a college degree. The same goes for men when it comes to women.

 

If some low testosterone pansy if basing whether he dates you on whether you have a college degree or not, he cares way too much what other people think and you'll have a hideously boring sex life anyway.

[StanMusial]

My gf didn't go to college but she went to beauty school. She is really sharp though and runs her own salon. She is one of the smartest girls I ever met when it comes to "life skills".

 

OP I don't know what sort of coding skills you have but I know several guys that don't have 4 year degrees that are software developers. They were able to get their foot in the door somewhere and build up experience. If you have proven skills you can earn a good living without the degree. The catch is, most employers require the degree to get your foot in the door. But if you truly hate college that much, you can work around it by building up a portfolio of work. You have to be motivated though.

[Arabella]

 

But I would say this though, I don't think I'd be compatible with a girl who has say a masters degree and have some high paying office job or is in finance or is a lawyer or etc. So I don't go after those girls.

 

I'd rather be with a girl with no college education than someone with one.

 

Just out of curiosity, why not? What would make a highly-educated woman incompatible with you?

 

Would it bother you that she has a higher earning potential than you, or is it about personality/interests?

[2sure]

The current requirement in the job market for entry level candidates to have a degree , as well as the current amount of people working beneath their education level isn't just due to the economy. It's marketing , the value of the degrees inflated by the academic industry.

 

So, for someone to work at the same position as a degree holder, without the debt hanging over their head, is appealing in a partner. Depending on wheeze you want to go, the degree might help you move forward in the future but it's nothing that can't be obtained part time while finding and developing your career while working. As a matter of fact, it's a solid plan.

[Arabella]

First off I don't think a highly educated woman would be intrested in someone like me.

 

I would never pursue a highly educated woman. As I don't think thats a good dynamic. If a highly educated woman pursued me, it would be a different story.

 

I'm not gonna humiliate myself by pursuing someone out of my league.

 

Forgive me for saying this, but you're being downright silly. A degree is not a requirement for two people to just "click" and get together.

 

A lot of women, such as myself, find themselves in a high-paying career after their education has ended and all they want is a good man. We're not worried about money... we just want a man who is WORTHY of being loved by us, willing to commit, and hard working.

 

Education does not factor into this picture at all.

 

While this doesn't hold true for some of the snottier kinds, I would bet good money that most sngle women in my office wouldn't turn down a guy as long as he was gainfully employed (ie: he could support himself) and seemed like a decent person.

[BluEyeL]

I wouldn't date someone without a college degree, unless he was accomplished in other ways (succesful artist, business owner etc). Otherwise we wouldn't be a match and he'd leave me sooner or later.

[fortyninethousand322]

First and foremost, I have a college degree, but I feel like it was a complete waste. The two jobs I have now (retail sales, and multimedia) I could have done easily with no more than a 10th grade education.

 

That said, I'm an intellectual. I like ideas, I like learning, I like philosophical debate. I like women who are the same. Whether you have a degree or not, I'm personally more interested in your intellectual capacity.

[fortyninethousand322]

I wouldn't date someone without a college degree, unless he was accomplished in other ways (succesful artist, business owner etc). Otherwise we wouldn't be a match and he'd leave me sooner or later.

 

What if he had a college degree but wasn't using it and wasn't accomplished in any way? But he was still pretty smart?...

[GravityMan]

Agreed with Disenchantedly Yours. I strongly recommend that the OP get those last 4 credits. It's just four little credits! Just HAVING the college degree (regardless of major) can noticeably improve how employable you are...even years down the road. Even after initial employment, the degree can improve your chances of being considered for a promotion up the ladder.

 

The rest of my post is a general comment and not directed towards the OP or anyone is particular. College is not for everyone. It really depends on what you want to do for a living. A bright young person who clearly knows what he wants to do would choose the extra education path that best suits that, instead of shoehorning himself into the "go to college" path. Go into entertainment (musician, acting, etc.)? College may help a bit, but a good portfolio and a strong network matter a LOT more. Go into the legal or medical profession? Then advanced education is damn near a must. Become an electrician, welder, carpenter or similar? Then a trade school may be better. And so on - including paths where a HS education is enough. No matter what direction you go educationally - if you want to succeed in your future profession, 99.9% of the time that requires strong work ethic, drive, decent people skills and the ability to sell yourself & your ideas. Ambition is a nice bonus on top of that because that reflects that you want to blaze your OWN trail in some way, be it within corporate America or starting your own business. Don't overdo the ambition though - sometimes you can't reach your goals due to factors outside your control...and you want to leave "room" to eventually share your life with that special person.

 

I will say though that going to college has more benefits than simply getting an advanced education. There are potential fun life experiences and social opportunities with peers that many college students are exposed to...that aren't easily acquired elsewhere. College is when many reserved people start to come out of their shell. Many students move out of their parents house when starting college and live with similar-aged roommates for the first time, which can be beneficial. And a diverse university campus is arguably one of the BEST places to date.

 

Some college-educated people who prefer to date someone who also has a college degree may understand that one can be intelligent and successful without the degree...but prefer the person have a degree anyway simply because it may be easier to relate to each other. Many experiences that help shape some people into knowing themselves better are encountered during one's college years.

[Arabella]

And I'm sure that alot of "blue collar" guys would and maybe even does pursue them and they could eventually have a good relationship. That's all good.

 

But I wouldn't activeley go after a woman who is more succesful than me. I feel that the whole dynamic of the relationship would be skewed in her favor.

 

I understand. But, consider this:

 

I pursued a relationship with a "blue collar" guy who earned 1/2 of what I made. His occupation was of no consequence to me. In fact, I was incredibly impressed that he had already built a career for himself (he was a senior car mechanic at a major US brand) and he had still gone back to school in order to switch careers to something he liked better.

 

At the time, he was hoping to enter the same field I was already in, and he eventually succeeded at doing so. I helped him greatly along the way, and although his career is a few years behind mine, it has a similar earning potential.

 

I never thought less of him for being "blue collar", and I would have been fine with him staying there. Our dynamic was never skewed and I consider him an equal in every way. Likewise, I'd expect he would love me all the same if one day I decided to drop my high-paying career. You just never know what people are going to become in the long run... so it shouldn't be the basis for choosing your partner.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, just providing some perspective

[BluEyeL]

What if he had a college degree but wasn't using it and wasn't accomplished in any way? But he was still pretty smart?...

What does that mean? Would he have a job (??), a college degree and is smart? Yes, that might be fine, under specific circumstances, if he was secure with himself and I wouldn't need to prop his ego constantly.

[stillafool]

I never went to college. I took my trucking license, forklift license, and working on my front end loader license.

 

My plan is to get into the mining industry, those guys make serious money.

 

But I would say this though, I don't think I'd be compatible with a girl who has say a masters degree and have some high paying office job or is in finance or is a lawyer or etc. So I don't go after those girls.... And I don't think those Girls would wanna be with someone like me.

 

I'd rather be with a girl with no college education than someone with one.

 

I know you probably already know this but I bet you have no problems attracting lots of women. There are lots of beautiful, hardworking women without degrees who want a man just like you so I imagine you have no problems in that area. Good luck with your plans in the mining industry, it sounds really exciting.

[2sure]

Education is great if it works, if you want it. But certainly there are other paths to education, and success other than a degree. Skilled trades are still making money.