Do You Think People Should Study Psychology Before Dating?

[Skyraider829]

A lot of the studies and experiments can't be replicated, and there's an over reporting of positive findings. I would treat the field of psychology with a lot of skepticism.

 

No joke, whomever expects determinism out of psychology needs to wake up. I see it as something to consider, but not base tactics or strategy off of.

[tbf]

Psychology classes won't help people who aren't self or externally aware. You can memorize all the theories but if you then can't apply them to yourself and others, they're just more pieces of useless information. That's why drilling and by rote teaching and learning styles, suck badly.

[KathyM]

Well, I've learned a lot in my courses that I do apply to bettering my relationship with my husband, my kids, and in understanding of myself and others. Particularly helpful was the instruction in conflict resolution, which I use myself in my own relationships with others as well as teach my clients who are having relationship issues.

[Skyraider829]

I see others already suggested some of the things I was thinking on this topic. I personally found that in the absence of personal experience, studying a bit of psychology, and targeted to your project (dating in this case), not the entire field, is a good start. Keyword being start. It's not, however, a replacement for personal experience. If one studies psychology, we don't know if they understand what they study, just that they memorized some stuff and passed some exams. Can they actually apply what they learned in real life? It could be an entirely different story. So yes, there is no guarantee whatsoever that a psychologist will make sound decisions in their personal life.

 

You make an excellent point, and its in line with what my question was about. Some people may see psychology as factual matter, when it is foundation is human thought. Everyone thinks differently, so how can one field possibly provide clear facts when its basis is well, how you think in the first place? Using the tools and interesting observations that psychology has turned up, along with experience can be a valuable thing. But to base everything off a book that only talks about generalities of the way we supposedly think, which continually changes as one would expect, isn't going to get you far - at all.

 

All in all, a very enlightening answer ma'am - thank you.

 

This isn't for a project by the way. I was just wondering and decided to ask.

[Skyraider829]

Yet another valid point, very true indeed.

[KathyM]

We also didn't just learn and memorize theories, diagnoses, human development, and many other necessary subjects to get our degree, but we learned and practiced counseling principles, and did a lot of exercises on self introspection and understanding of ourselves and understanding of relationship dynamics. But like I said, some schools are more comprehensive than others. I'm pretty happy with the education I received, and I now have my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology.

[Skyraider829]

We also didn't just learn and memorize theories, diagnoses, human development, and many other necessary subjects to get our degree, but we learned and practiced counseling principles, and did a lot of exercises on self introspection and understanding of ourselves and understanding of relationship dynamics. But like I said, some schools are more comprehensive than others. I'm pretty happy with the education I received, and I now have my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology.

 

All I can say is application of theory to practical scenarios is vital in psychology, well as is any theory really - if its a decent one.

[HokeyReligions]

EGAD NO!

 

Look at all the overanalyzers on here now!

[BluEyeL]

We also didn't just learn and memorize theories, diagnoses, human development, and many other necessary subjects to get our degree, but we learned and practiced counseling principles, and did a lot of exercises on self introspection and understanding of ourselves and understanding of relationship dynamics. But like I said, some schools are more comprehensive than others. I'm pretty happy with the education I received, and I now have my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology.

 

Still, there are good students, and not so good students. I forgot most of what I learned in college or during grad school, all I'm left with are some general ideas and knowlege on how/where to look for answers to problems. But I'm not sure that if you give me a problem from my field, I could solve it on my feet, if I that's a correct expression to use. And, most important, I'm better at giving advice to others than at doing what I preach. In our personal lives we are limited by our own feelings and sometimes our judgment is clouded. So all we learned sometimes goes out the window:)

[Maleficent]

What are your own opinions on that? It doesn't mean to go out and obtain a Ph.D in Psychology, but at least have some understanding of it and a lot of the universals in people's behavior.

 

A lot of dating sessions and relationships have to be, to a fair degree "felt out" but also thought out as well. Wouldn't help to be aware of some of the psychological sand traps that many of us fall into like projecting your own emotions and opinions about yourself onto others, thinking they view you like you do yourself as well as other thinking fallacies?

 

It came to mind and I was just curious to any thoughts on this.

 

I think social psychology should be mandatory in high school.

[KathyM]

Still, there are good students, and not so good students.

True. I took my education and courses very seriously and put a lot of effort into them, and graduated with a 4.0 GPA. In fact, our college required its students to get at least a 3.0 for each class, or they would have to take the course a second time, so there were no slackers or people who didn't know their stuff in order to get their degree. But that is not the case for undergraduate psychology majors, and probably other colleges don't have as strict requirements.

I forgot most of what I learned in college or during grad school, all I'm left with are some general ideas and knowlege on how/where to look for answers to problems. But I'm not sure that if you give me a problem from my field, I could solve it on my feet, if I that's a correct expression to use. And, most important, I'm better at giving advice to others than at doing what I preach. In our personal lives we are limited by our own feelings and sometimes our judgment is clouded. So all we learned sometimes goes out the window:)

A lot of psychologists/therapists go on after graduation to more in depth education/training about particular forms of treatment, so their knowledge does not stagnate, but changes along with the field and increases. So much more information is known now about what forms of therapy are most effective in treating various disorders, and new forms of therapy are developed and taught, that it really is a field that has ongoing development. I think therapists are also required to take continuing education courses in order to maintain their license, and many also continue to study on their own based on knowledge/studies that are published in the field.

 

I do think psychologists/therapists are trained to be more self aware and have a better understanding of relationship dynamics, but of course, they are humans too with their own histories, biases, and weaknesses.

[StanMusial]

"Hey girl, how about that Maslow's hierarchy of needs?"

 

"What are you talking about creep"

 

"OK, see you later"

[BluEyeL]

I didn't mean to attack the profession, I was just saying that having a degree is not a guarantee one can apply the knowledge in their own life.

[soccerrprp]

I didn't mean to attack the profession, I was just saying that having a degree is not a guarantee one can apply the knowledge in their own life.

 

Correct. There is absolutely no debating this fact. Again, I have a friend who is a psychologist and dated one...there's no question that this is true.

[tbf]

"Hey girl, how about that Maslow's hierarchy of needs?"

 

"What are you talking about creep"

 

"OK, see you later"

Maslow's hierarchy is too simplistic a model.

[Skyraider829]

EGAD NO!

 

Look at all the overanalyzers on here now!

 

Look, it isn't like we're sitting around over-analyzing relationships, this is just a theoretical discussion about psychology and its potentially, and sometimes useful, practical sides that might be put to occasional use.

 

You can't sit around and say if somebody did study a good book on psychology, that they couldn't at least draw something of possible use from it. It doesn't mean that you go around analyzing behavior all the time, being an amateur psyche evaluator and hoping to submit your findings to the APA.

Edited August 23, 2013 by Skyraider829

[Skyraider829]

Once you read over it, its apparent that it does have some questionable characteristics.

[todreaminblue]

What are your own opinions on that? It doesn't mean to go out and obtain a Ph.D in Psychology, but at least have some understanding of it and a lot of the universals in people's behavior.

 

A lot of dating sessions and relationships have to be, to a fair degree "felt out" but also thought out as well. Wouldn't help to be aware of some of the psychological sand traps that many of us fall into like projecting your own emotions and opinions about yourself onto others, thinking they view you like you do yourself as well as other thinking fallacies?

 

It came to mind and I was just curious to any thoughts on this.

 

definitely not....because then everyone you date you are analysing....i do that enough.........without having a phd in psychology...you become i feel a bti clinical and cynical.....and fail to see....in the first place....people often change......that everyone has imperfections...that you are judging people on how they fee judging people and marking them on a sliding scale of psychology.....where is the human emotion in that.......its clinicaL....and honestly.......some people dont fit molds...

 

 

 

 

everyone makes mistakes in what they think about themselves or others.......studying someone and making based conclusions about someone you dont know.....what is it that is supposed to be happening......dating wasnt it? not observation on just the way they handle situations or people or how they think.........everyone projects you know it is often how we come to conclusions, the study and recognition of ourselves and knowledge of our own personal bias.......history....life.....relationships intellect reasoning capabilities..surprisingly people make mistakes when coming to conclusions....including pysches btw......i think it has something to do with that every mind and intellect is never perfect and apt to make serious errors in judgement......psyches have made serious mistakes with me ....as well as an acute care team who played with my memory.......all own many phds

 

 

 

psychology is the study of who exactly....people...but we are all unique not one of us are alike at all how can you abuse anything when you dotn know who you are studying......shirnks drive me nuts.....dont want to date a guy who will shrink me at every opportunity...now your projecting deb....deb hits him with stuffed animal.....i wan tsoemone to just accept me if they cant....move on joe.....and take yoru phd with you....and here ill throw a stuffed animal at you to hug when you feel like one.....call it aggression projection in stuffed dinosaur form ..deb

Edited August 23, 2013 by todreaminblue

[salparadise]

I think that the basic study of psychology, as in PSYC 101, would not give a person much advantage in dating or relationships, if any. It's just too general. Nervous system and biological stuff, movements-theories-contributors to the field, etc. Not much that's useful in application as it's just laying the foundation for further study.

 

However, vertical study in the areas of family systems, relationships and few others would be advantageous. I also believe undergoing personal therapy and becoming self-aware would be key, in addition to having the knowledge. Of course a fair amount of relationship experience is also valuable. I think this trifecta probably does give a person an advantage in terms of the ability to select healthy partners and conduct him/herself in healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.

 

So much of the whole love/relationship thing is subconscious though, completely outside our awareness... additional knowledge pales by comparison to simply finding the person who is the yen fer yer yang.

 

I think psychologists are hot though, so I like to date'em.

[string of letters]

I would chime with others who say that it probably doesn't offer any intrinsic advantage. I've known people with advanced degrees in psychology and I was kind of struck that, at the end of the day, I couldn't really see that they had a clearer idea what really makes people tick than folks who haven't undertaken such subjects. As others have suggested, they even may be a little quicker to apply labels prematurely.

 

I do have to say, though, that some core psychological concepts like 'fundamental attribution error', seem to be very helpful in making sense of everyday interactions with others, and can certainly be helpful in dating.

 

Most people who replied on this thread seem to be focusing on social psychology, but I think familiarity with core concepts of evolutionary psychology is probably more likely to be helpful. Really, when you boil down to it, evolutionary psychology's forte is explaining the relationship between the sexes. Concepts like 'women are more hurt by emotional infidelity, men are more hurt by physical infidelity' have ostensibly been 'proven', - it can't hurt to know about such things, and it could be helpful. I'm less convinced by concepts like 'mate choice copying' though they are thought provoking and seem to have a grain of truth. If nothing else, it can be fun to see whether your own experiences match up with what ev psych is claiming or not.

 

But, to go back to the position at the beginning of my post, I'm doubtful whether there is much correlation between formal knowledge of psychology and 'success' in dating.

[tbf]

but I think familiarity with core concepts of evolutionary psychology is probably more likely to be helpful.

No, don't go there. It's the least amount of science, in all the soft sciences.

[MrCastle]

Didn't read any pages but I'm almost positive it was said several times --

 

I think reading too much into psychology and human behavior as it pertains to dating would do more harm than good.

 

Dating should not cause over thinking/over analyzing.

[string of letters]

No, don't go there. It's the least amount of science, in all the soft sciences.

 

Well, it depends on what you are focusing on. If you look at ev psych's tendency towards 'just so' explanations, then, sure, it's an atrocious mess.

 

A huge problem with social psychology is its tendency to extrapolate the result of experiments performed with US/European undergraduates to the rest of the world. When I look at ev psych, I'm mostly interested in the authors who have worked with questionnaires given to people in dozens of countries.

[MissBee]

What are your own opinions on that? It doesn't mean to go out and obtain a Ph.D in Psychology, but at least have some understanding of it and a lot of the universals in people's behavior.

 

A lot of dating sessions and relationships have to be, to a fair degree "felt out" but also thought out as well. Wouldn't help to be aware of some of the psychological sand traps that many of us fall into like projecting your own emotions and opinions about yourself onto others, thinking they view you like you do yourself as well as other thinking fallacies?

 

It came to mind and I was just curious to any thoughts on this.

 

Yes!

 

You live and you learn though, it was usually break ups that taught me the most about human psychology as it pertains to romance and relationships. I did my research when my heart was broken...so as I go forward I have more understanding and can avoid or recognize certain pitfalls, read certain situations better, not get caught up in some things and see it for what it is etc.

[Skyraider829]

I think that the basic study of psychology, as in PSYC 101, would not give a person much advantage in dating or relationships, if any. It's just too general. Nervous system and biological stuff, movements-theories-contributors to the field, etc. Not much that's useful in application as it's just laying the foundation for further study.

 

Right. I should have specified a sub-field. Basic psychology is mostly generality anyway.

 

However, vertical study in the areas of family systems, relationships and few others would be advantageous. I also believe undergoing personal therapy and becoming self-aware would be key, in addition to having the knowledge. Of course a fair amount of relationship experience is also valuable. I think this trifecta probably does give a person an advantage in terms of the ability to select healthy partners and conduct him/herself in healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.

 

Not many things can beat experience, but at least some knowledge can help refine and better yourself and your attitudes, and pre-conceived notions about the way you and others think about dating and relationships. There has to be some fair use to that. I read a few books about psychology, and also some on neuroscience out of pure curiosity and I must say, its helped me to understand the basis of emotional fallacies and cognitive biases that so many fall victim to, and its bettered me by a good amount. I understand my emotions and why I think the way I do now. It doesn't tell you any answers, but it does help you to resolve personal conflict and apply rationale towards your own thinking.

 

In conclusion, it can, for some, be a helpful tool.