Do You Think People Should Study Psychology Before Dating?

[Skyraider829]

But, to go back to the position at the beginning of my post, I'm doubtful whether there is much correlation between formal knowledge of psychology and 'success' in dating.

 

Of course there will be no correlation between formal knowledge and practical success. Statistically, there could be some but it would in all probability, be minimal. Evolutionary psychology is indeed interesting, but how well it does it correspond to modern social interaction?

[Skyraider829]

Yes!

 

You live and you learn though, it was usually break ups that taught me the most about human psychology as it pertains to romance and relationships. I did my research when my heart was broken...so as I go forward I have more understanding and can avoid or recognize certain pitfalls, read certain situations better, not get caught up in some things and see it for what it is etc.

 

 

Psychology shouldn't be used to "teach" people what to expect. It doesn't mean to analyze Joe Shmo's behavior and write a report. It can just be used to help out in certain situations, where perhaps uncertainty on your part (or another's) could lead to an outcome that neither of you want.

 

But you get the gist of my query, absolutely.

[Skyraider829]

Didn't read any pages but I'm almost positive it was said several times --

 

I think reading too much into psychology and human behavior as it pertains to dating would do more harm than good.

 

Dating should not cause over thinking/over analyzing.

 

Right you are. Isn't overthinking something that should be in some way, pretty straight-up and foward to deal with, a thinking problem? A cognitive screw-up? When you read the word "psychology" I'm not implying that you sit down with a clipboard and a pen, with a person and question them, asking them about childhood events and what they make of a bunch of splats of paint on paper - its just knowing about some of the issues that can make or break relationships and using that knowledge - in the appropriate circumstances as a tool when needed, if it ever is needed.

[KathyM]

Well, I know studying the material has given me a better understanding of myself and my family members, and people in general. And I've been putting what I learned to good use with people in my own life, as well as my clients. Since psychologists/therapists are often able to help others improve their relationships, it would stand to reason that they themselves benefit from that skill/knowledge in their own lives. I know I have. Just yesterday, I was teaching my kids to resolve their conflict that they were having with each other, and teaching them conflict resolution skills. But one basic psychology course, while possibly being helpful, is not going to have a major effect on one's ability to be a quality relationship partner. A course that teaches social skills and conflict resolution would certainly be helpful to people.

[irc333]

Well, the "Psychology of Women" more specifically.

 

 

 

What are your own opinions on that? It doesn't mean to go out and obtain a Ph.D in Psychology, but at least have some understanding of it and a lot of the universals in people's behavior.

 

A lot of dating sessions and relationships have to be, to a fair degree "felt out" but also thought out as well. Wouldn't help to be aware of some of the psychological sand traps that many of us fall into like projecting your own emotions and opinions about yourself onto others, thinking they view you like you do yourself as well as other thinking fallacies?

 

It came to mind and I was just curious to any thoughts on this.

[SpiralOut]

I did my undergrad in psychology and my life is a mess. The only thing that has helped me has been learning to be more true to myself. I think psychology can be used to help understand ourselves better, which will help us to improve ourselves. Doing this will have the side-effect of improved relationships. Either we'll improve what is worth keeping or we learn to walk away from hurtful relationships that can't be fixed. I think we can also change the type of partners we attract by figuring out WHY we attract them to us or why we seek out certain types - for example, why do we always go for jerks who treat us badly? Maybe we're still acting out an unconscious desire to gain acceptance from someone in our past, and these partners remind us of that person. If we're having issues with dating, we need to look at ourselves first.

Edited August 24, 2013 by SpiralOut

[tbf]

Well, it depends on what you are focusing on. If you look at ev psych's tendency towards 'just so' explanations, then, sure, it's an atrocious mess.

 

A huge problem with social psychology is its tendency to extrapolate the result of experiments performed with US/European undergraduates to the rest of the world. When I look at ev psych, I'm mostly interested in the authors who have worked with questionnaires given to people in dozens of countries.

As if evolutionary psychology doesn't have limited funds studies and social psychology, geographically diverse studies.

 

Your reasoning why, isn't logical considering the above and the lack of any real controls on evo psych which is fraught full of confirmation bias and unprovable hypotheses.

[Skyraider829]

I did my undergrad in psychology and my life is a mess. The only thing that has helped me has been learning to be more true to myself. I think psychology can be used to help understand ourselves better, which will help us to improve ourselves. Doing this will have the side-effect of improved relationships. Either we'll improve what is worth keeping or we learn to walk away from hurtful relationships that can't be fixed. I think we can also change the type of partners we attract by figuring out WHY we attract them to us or why we seek out certain types - for example, why do we always go for jerks who treat us badly? Maybe we're still acting out an unconscious desire to gain acceptance from someone in our past, and these partners remind us of that person. If we're having issues with dating, we need to look at ourselves first.

 

Some of the things in psychology like introspection are rather valuable for reasons that you've stated.