why are so many people mean to highly attractive/generally happy/successful others??

[havNfun]

can't relate. I'm as ugly as a mud fence so people are very nice and polite to me.

 

 

OP, let's see your photo for curiosity's sake.

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by havNfun

can't relate. I'm as ugly as a mud fence so people are very nice and polite to me.

 

 

OP, let's see your photo for curiosity's sake.

 

 

That is what I was saying, havnfun. No problems here. I don't think you're ugly though.

[creativelyobsessed]

i've just read most of these replies...

 

to start, i appreciate all feedback. everyone responds based on personal experience, so it is all right and relative. this is exactly what i am talking about...

 

i suppose i made more of a general statement in this thread. MOST people love me. i LOVE people, especially people who don't care who you are. i was talking about the few people i encounter that a just simply haters.

 

i do not wear expensive anything -- ever. in fact, i can't afford anything but the basics. but i work my tail off at a demanding job. i will make a $4 shirt look more mainstream, i am a classy chick, i don't overdo it but i will admit that i take care of my body (no breast implants or any of that stuff) and i often show off my mid-drift. so what. beyond that, i don't surround myself with lavish anything. i am friends with the haves and the have nots.

 

i think the point i was getting at was that people don't like genuinely happy and successful people. even some of my close friends lately seem completely unevolved. i am ALWAYS the better person in arguments, conflicts and emotional situations. ALWAYs. and i am actually tired of always stepping forward to make others feel better just because i get the feeling they can't be the better person -- and are often not. i am tired of feeling sorry for lazy, overweight and unhappy people in this world. if you want something, do it. if you are unhappy, change it.

 

i have never gotten the easy way out of life. i have worked to where i am as a person, and people in society don't recognize those things. i don't want to make this a deeper thread than it needs to be by disecting what i am saying, but the media has really gotten to some people. yes, i am highly attractive, extremely nice and i consider myself very intelligent. i also have a heart of gold and get **** on by people who are weak - friendships, mainly, other people i don't know well try to feed off of my energy and use it against me. i grew up with an abusive mother who has an alcohol problem, she has berated me much of my life and complicated things for me, etc. i was never the "hot" girl in school, ever. in fact i was made fun of often even though i was "normal". people judged me because my dad did well and could send me to study abroads and stuff. that was when i got to see how stupid and unevolved most americans are....and then i started learning about myself through travel...

 

see my point is that i have just recently learned what jealousy really is. i don't know what it feels like to be jealous of someone. I AM SERIOUS. people are all dealt the SAME deck of cards in life, just with different hands which mean different challenges. i am just tired of working so so hard on myself, glowing with love for people, and having that random person try to knock me off of my throne of love and compassion for others. i am far from perfect obviously or i wouldn't be writing here, but i TRY hard. other people seem too preoccupied with others around them no wonder they are miserable.

 

i used to feel like i had to downplay the good things that have come my way. and i am simply tired of it. and i guess because this is an anonymous site i feel free saying these things here i would never tell my friends or the public!! and they are: I AM A GREAT FRIEND, A CARING INDIVIDUAL, I GIVE MONEY AND FOOD TO HOMELESS PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME, I AM THE FIRST ONE TO HELP THE LONER OR OUTSIDER, THE FIRST TO BEFRIEND THE UNDERDOG, THE FIRST ONE TO CRY FOR SOMEONE ELSE, THE BIGGEST LIFE OF THE PARTY, THE MOST EMOTIONALLY HONEST PERSON I KNOW, THE FUNNIEST, THE MOST CREATIVE ONE I KNOW, I AM DEAD SEXY HOT, SMART AS HELL, AMBITIOUS, SOUL-SEARCHING, ANIMAL LOVER, PEOPLE HELPER AND MOTIVATOR, AND I HAVE THE BEST ASS KNOWN TO MAN. OR WOMAN.

[creativelyobsessed]

BY THE WAY KOOKY I THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT RESPONSE. YOU COULD BE ON TO THE FACT THAT I AM A PEOPLE-PLEASER...AND THAT IN ITSELF IS NOT HEALTHY. I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, AND MAYBE IT MAKES ME LOOK WEAK. ALL I WANT IS FOR OTHERS TO FEEL GOOD, BUT MAYBE I HAVE TROUBLE DRAWING THE LINE.

 

THANKS FOR BRINGING THAT TO ME. AND SORRY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE ON HERE WHO THINK THIS IS A PETTY THREAD, IF IT IS SO PETTY THEN GET OFF OF IT. IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE I AM OBVIOUSLY FRUSTRATED WITH SOMETHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. AND YES I AM WILLING TO LOOK AT THE FACT THAT IT COULD HAVE MORE TO DO WITH ME, EVEN THOUGH I THINK I AM BEYOND "NICE". MAYBE TOO "NICE" IS THE PROBLEM.

[WasaBeauty]

Hmm.. I think you've got it totally backwards!

 

When I was young, I was very beautiful. I'm mean - offers-to-model-in-New-York-all-the-guys-at-the-party-following-me-around kind of beautiful. I was 36-26-36 and I actually shaved my head to get the guys to leave me alone at one point. (It sorta worked, but then the lesbians started noticing me - honest to Betsy.)

 

I married fairly young (23), had 6 babies in 8 years, and had difficult pregnancies, hypothyroidism, and other disabling metabolic problems and am something like 80 pounds overweight now. Sometimes people say, "You have such a pretty face" but you know, the guys aren't drooling, expect for an occasional Russian gentleman. (They seem to like women with some meat on their bones.)

 

People were MUCH nicer to me when I was pretty and thin and young.

 

I got every job I ever applied for. Clerks in stores treated me very nicely. Lots of people wanted to be my friend. Compliments all the time, and generally I was treated exceptionally well.

 

Now, when I'm overweight with 6 kids and a THOUSAND times happy and nicer, too, I have noticed that there IS a difference in how people treat me.

 

Don't imagine for a moment that people in general treat "the pretty people" worse than they treat "regular Joes". The regular Joes (and the overweight Joes) are treated with less respect, less patience, less attention, than the pretty ones.

 

If people are rude, unpleasant, unkind, it's not 'cause you're pretty. It may just be THEM. Or maybe you are putting out some sort of bad vibes that they are responding to.

 

Incidentally, there have been studies done on this. An attractive woman will spend the day out in a city, and make notes of smiles, people offering to help her, etc. Then she'll go out to the same places the next day - in a fat suit or an old lady get-up - and it turns out she's treated like GARBAGE in comparison.

 

You'll get old one day and then you'll see what I mean! (Hopefully you won't get sick, disabled, or overweight, though!)

[binkelstein]

yes! when i turned 21 i gained something like 50 pounds. until then, i'd always been very, very thin and i never thought that how i was treated had anything to do with how i looked. boy, was i wrong!

 

strangely though, it was like this in my "group." the men were all a lot less nice. some of the women who i'd known when i was 110 pounds, who had been pretty dismissive, suddenly decided they were my buddies. i went from "annoying" to "fun" in the space of 50 pounds.

 

then, when i lost it all, the balance went back to what i was used to. after that, however, i made a conscious effort, as i said earlier, to focus on how i acted around people, and i've attained more of a balance in my life now, etc.

 

so, yes, you are right, the way gets paved a lot more smoothly for "pretty" people.

[binkelstein]

also, i would like to note, CO, that there was a LOT of condescension in what you have been writing. perhaps that's the problem people have with you, eh?

[loveregardless]

haha,

 

CO, sweet heart, being positive, secure, and having great self confidesnce, is great, unless you, um.....toot your own horn....sorry, not trying to be mean, but you really do sound a little full of yourself. I mean, "the best ass known to man or woman."...come on babe, everyone on LS knows I have the best ass known to man or woman. jk jk, No but seriously, you should really think about some of what you are posting. You do sound a "bit" on the conceited side, and a lot on the side that says you are JUDGING these other people VERY harshly. I am sure that you are a wonderful person, but you need to be more proud of your emotional and personality strenghts then your physical attributes. And you need to not to have a list so readily available of how great you are to share with everyone. I dunno babe, it just sounds a little like an additude problem to me. Who wants to be nice to someone who thinks they are better than them? I'm sure you are great, but you are not the "most" anything or the "best" anything, your just you...and you shouldn't be expecting others to be anything other than themselves.

[tiki]

[color=indigo]Rule of thumb:

 

Never tell or remind someone of how great you are. If you're that great, they can see it. It will exude you.[/color]

[creativelyobsessed]

i will have to think about what you said. if you met me, you would never ever know or think i would write these things, i'm just writing them because i don't have to know anyone here.

 

i guess i have to look at the condescending tone of my writing...and figure out if i sound that way and maybe why.

 

i suppose that i was probably SO sick of being the underdog in the past, the outcast, that when i started to like myself, i really liked that. i have always been respectful and extremely complimentary of others. the thoughts i share here are truly secret and nothing i would even slightly convey to anyone i know.

 

my main gripe is that most people in general try to steal whatever positive they can from you. maybe i've just been shafted one too many times by people.

 

and maybe i sound boastful or condescending because i am angry with the fact that when people see a smiling attractive person they get upset. i am nice as pie, not because i think i am "better" AT ALL, but because everyone deserves to be treated the same way. i know for a fact i do not give out wierd or bad vibes. i treat all people the same way. i am VERY aware of the fact i could be missing a limb or two, go through my windshield, become crippled, brain disease, you name it. i follow a religious path as well and do not engage in self-serving behavior.

 

i am sorry for the way my posts sound, they are not meant to be of a condescending tone. they are sincere and obviously i am asking for a good reason. i always want to be a better person and to understand others.

 

what more can i do but be very polite, smile and help others? it's all i have ever done. maybe it is where i live, too. who knows. i've had a lot of shi*ty things happen to me recently anyway, that could be part of why I am writing this thread....my best friend has turned into a jealous person over the last 2 years. she used to be a model but a VERY nice person and a good friend. since she gained 30 lbs she has no motivation for life. that is so sad. i NEVER had to rely on my looks to get me through life before because i wasn't more than your average joe. i was a very late bloomer compared to my peers. anyway, my "best friend" has changed over the last few years and become very condescending to me. i have finally come to the conclusion through suggestion of friend/family she is jealous. that makes me sick. i was also cheated on recently by a complete "average joe" who didn't deserve my heart in the first place. maybe things just "seem" ugly in life right now. typically speaking though, i go to the grocery store, the pet store whereever, and the clerks love me -- i don't put up a front or a show, i love people. i guess i need to think about who give me attitude ...

 

one last thing i have been thinking about -- in highschool, i was made fun of constantly. for the first 3 years they teased me because i was weaker, sort of a pushover. i was also average in the looks department. then i started doing things for myself and i came back the last year to school...i was more aesthetically pleasing and started doing things that the others weren't -- and had a new sense of self, but with the same nice attitude, etc. all of the sudden i was "too good for everyone". you can't win.

 

oh, and another thing -- this sounds sick, but i have made myself up in such a way to research people's attitudes. i am a natural blond and dyed my hair jet black for 6 months. during that time i also went out a few times in basic clothes that were dreary put polished. i wore layers of this stuff one weekend to look "blah" and wanted to see how people would act. they were totally different. so my experience with looking differently is different from others'. also, i maintained the SAMe demeanor, sense of confidence, etc. in both personas. people are just jealous of stuipd crap in general.

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by creativelyobsessed

i am ALWAYS the better person in arguments, conflicts and emotional situations. ALWAYs.

i am tired of feeling sorry for lazy, overweight and unhappy people in this world.

yes, i am highly attractive, extremely nice and i consider myself very intelligent.

AND I HAVE THE BEST ASS KNOWN TO MAN. OR WOMAN.

 

 

superiority complex

n.

1. An exaggerated feeling of being superior to others.

2. A psychological defense mechanism in which feelings of superiority counter or conceal feelings of inferiority.

[binkelstein]

but so often that is a cover up for despair and insecurity and i think that's maybe what people are reacting to.

[Artifact]

I guess you may have to get used to the way people are around you. Some will treat you one way, some another. If you are so comfortable with yourself, just be yourself. What else can you do?

 

Don't try to be anything. Don't work harder on being nicer, don't smile until your gums dry out if you don't feel like it. Don't tell people about your ass. Treat others with respect, take care of yourself, and relax.

 

And, yes, it does feel like you are talking down to us... feeling good about yourself, and believing you are right in every situation (interacting with friends, cashiers and the homeless) are two different things.

[tiki]

CO, can I get your #?

 

 

 

 

[loveregardless]

Sweetie I think that what drama posted is right. #2 sounds like you. I understand that you may have had a hard past and therefore now that you have confidence and strength, you are getting a little overzealous and you are unintentionally conveying a condesending additude, but you don't have to feel bad about yourself, just not put yourself above others for fear of being below them. Just be yourself, accept yourself for all of your weaknesses and your strenghts, and some people will like you, and some won't. That's just the way it goes...but I'm sure you are a great girl, you just TRY too hard to BE great. Give yourself a break sweetie, just "be".

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by creativelyobsessed

oh, and another thing -- this sounds sick, but i have made myself up in such a way to research people's attitudes. i am a natural blond and dyed my hair jet black for 6 months. during that time i also went out a few times in basic clothes that were dreary put polished. i wore layers of this stuff one weekend to look "blah" and wanted to see how people would act. they were totally different. so my experience with looking differently is different from others'. also, i maintained the SAMe demeanor, sense of confidence, etc. in both personas. people are just jealous of stuipd crap in general.

 

 

I can see how being a natural blonde and dying your hair jet black may have garnered odd behavior from people. People with blonde eyebrows don't typically go around with jet black hair.

 

What is less desirable about having dark hair anyway?

[loveregardless]

I have dark hair and the best ass around so take that blondie! jk jk

[savethedrama4allama]

Redheads do it better

 

so I'm told. LOL

[tiki]

I think dark hair and brown eyes are the most natural beauty you can have. But that's just me. Well, not really me, but you know what I mean. I'm a redhead. And yes, my pubes are red too.

[loveregardless]

Why thank you for calling me beautiful tiki. Now can you compliment me on my ass too please, she gets jealous of my head.

[savethedrama4allama]

Lesbiano, you have the finest ass that I've never seen. I'm sure of it.

[tiki]

ok, ok, gah....nice ass LR. But you're starting to sound like CO!

[loveregardless]

The lamma hath spoken, LESBIANA's ass shall rule all asses henceforth!

 

Come on now girls, don't be nasty. The poor girl needs our help, not to be tortured. Even if it is dreadful fun to torture others from time to time.

 

But seriously, read the last post CO, the one where I was being nice. Don't listen to our babble. We're just jealous of you. JK JK, seriously, I'm sorry, I need to stop now. Stop it you shameless hussys!

[creativelyobsessed]

i don't want to be a "neurotic personality". i looked it up and will take whatever i can from it. i'm trying to honestly see what/if anything applies to me. i don't know, maybe you are all right here. i thought i was a good person inside and out, but i guess my writing here sounds full of myself. please keep in mind that i would never talk like this to another person. these truly are my real feelings...i don't talk like this or act like my words illustrate in public. and i don't think i am any different from anyone else...

 

i can't believe this thread sparked such a swarm of replies in the first place. see....people are moved when someone says they like themselves! just because i say all of that doesn't mean i feel entitled to anything or that i act like anything such as what my writing suggests.

 

again i will read about entitlement and all of that stuff. maybe i do have a tendency to talk down to people then. that is the last thing i want to do..all i want is to be a good person.

[loveregardless]

sweetie, what did I say in my post, stop TRYING SO HARD TO BE ANYTHING, just be "you"...I know where you got the obsessed part of your name now. And just FYI, this is LS, we reply this much to EVERY thread. We have no lives.

There is nothing wrong with liking yourself, just stop focusing so much on peoples specific qualities and on your specific qualities, there is no need to "rate" yourself or anyone else. You are really putting way too much thought (never thought I'd hear myself say that) into your behavior and the behavior of others. JUST BE YOURSELF and let everyone else worry about themselves, too.