why are so many people mean to highly attractive/generally happy/successful others??

[binkelstein]

It's not that you said you liked yourself that inspired me to reply, it was you worrying that other people didn't like you. If you liked yourself that much, you wouldn't care whether other people liked you.

[loveregardless]

If you liked yourself that much, you wouldn't care whether other people liked you.

INDEED WORDS OF WISDOM.

 

Perhaps you are still harboring fears and worries from "before"...perhaps you secretely worry that people don't like you, or don't think your pretty, or don't think your nice...etc etc.

 

You just need to learn to love yourself with all your heart, accept yourself for all of your strenghts and your weaknesses, and just be "you", there is no shame in that at all.

[tiki]

Originally posted by loveregardless

We have no lives.

 

Hey! Speak for yourselves Miss-I-wear-no-make-up!

 

See I'm jealous of her. We all do it.

[Moose]

Well, I don't wear make up either....so there!!

[tiki]

That's not what Mrs. Moose said.

 

You know you'd look good in those heels of hers too.

[loveregardless]

haha, be careful Moose, everyone's gonna be jealous of you here in a minute too.

 

Ok, restating my statement, SOME of us have less of a life than others, but the majority of us are addicted to LS and suffer withdrawels in our absence from it, therefore we tend to congregate here more often than we should. Was that better tiki? haha A little bit of clarification for all.

 

And I am going to go home and put all the makeup that I can find on, take a picture, and put it up as my avatar just so that everyone will love me agian. Lesbiana hath spoken! I'm sorry, I just love that! (I stole it from the lamma)

 

And then next week I'm putting up a picture of my bootiliscious ass just so that CO can see how much hotter mine is than hers. (Don't take the teasing personal sweetie, it means your one of us I think they call it hazing)

[tiki]

Hazing?

[loveregardless]

Indeed.

[Moose]

Originally posted by tiki

That's not what Mrs. Moose said.

 

You know you'd look good in those heels of hers too.

 

Has she been posting somewhere I don't know about?????? That was supossed to be a secret!

[tiki]

Oops. Sorry Moose, I won't tell anyone.

 

LR (AKA Miss Vain no make up hot ass): I started a new thread about Hazing. Go tear it up.

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by creativelyobsessed

i don't want to be a "neurotic personality". i looked it up and will take whatever i can from it.

 

what I wrote was superiority complex. Or did someone else write neurotic personality and I missed it?

 

 

i can't believe this thread sparked such a swarm of replies in the first place. see....people are moved when someone says they like themselves! just because i say all of that doesn't mean i feel entitled to anything or that i act like anything such as what my writing suggests.

 

 

I have no problem with you liking yourself. I do have a problem when you say you are or have "the best" of something, such as your dealings with conflict or your rear end. That simply is a matter of preference dear!

[tiki]

Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama

That simply is a matter of preference dear!

 

Yes llama, she just happens to prefer herself.

[loveregardless]

girls girls girls, be nice.

[creativelyobsessed]

well i appreciate everyone here who responded, i understand your sarcasm as well.

 

anyway, i think that i found something -- this is all related to my past. i do truly like myself but i think the reason i am overanalyzing all of these things is because of my mother and my relationship with her. i was NEVER allowed to be happy or feel good about myself. now, as an adult, i am feeling guilty at odd times. before this last week, i'm telling you, i barely paid any mind to the stuff i wrote. i was happy and didn't realize if people liked me or were jealous or not.

 

i guess i have reached a point where i am really starting to work on my negative qualities, but i am still harboring all of this guilty energy that was imposed on me as a child. so, my point is i probably make up in my head a lot of the "resistance" i get from others, or even it could be the same "resistance" that others get as well, i just happen to think it is because of my "great" qualities. and i think this is because i always felt terrible about myself as a child, even though i was a high achiever in sports and stuff that is supposed to build your confidence.

 

i have obviously hit a road block in my adult life where i fear that i don't deserve to be happy -- so i think that others want it that way. as far as loving myself and thinking i am the bomb diggity, everyone loves things about themselves. i don't mean it to sound rude or anything, it does feel good to write candidly about what i think. i think if i can accept that i DESERVE to feel good, i can feel good and not feel guilty about it. i can stop assuming "reasons" that don't even exist for why people don't like me and take certain things at face value.

 

to be honest, feeling like i have to downplay certain parts of myself that i DO like just comes from my past.

 

so thanks to all who replied here, although i do still think that there are a lot of haters, i think that my method for coping with it is what needed help...and now i am starting to realize i may conjur up things that either don't exist to just take general attitudes from others personally...when people are probably just that WAY to ANYONE, not me because i am "very attractive" or smart or whatever boastful stuff i said about myself. sorry if that sounded a-hole-ish, i am really not.

 

at the end of the day i need to accept that the way i treat other people is the ONLY measure for how good of a person i am and how others need to treat me. why feel bad for the good things you have? i need to heal a lot of my insecurities which are guilty old wounds out of my control. thanks

[Guest]

Hello CO. I think it's good that you are working on yourself and being happy with who you are- inside and out, but I was just thinking about how you said that in "real life" you would never say some of the stuff you said about yourself but that they were your true feelings. Well although you might not TELL people what you love about yourself you might be acting in a way that shows them how great you think you are. People can pick up on that kind of attitude pretty quickly and this could be what you are experiencing. Having a superiority complex (no matter how well hidden) shines through. Good luck with everything and you do deserve to be happy, we all do.

[lite coffee]

Originally posted by VivianLee

God forbid...my first year at the highschool I graduated from...I won their first "beauty pageant".....all the chicks hated me anyway...after that, I actually had threats that they were going to beat me up!!

 

There are some people that are going to be jealous no matter what, it's just in their nature!

 

A person can be attractive and successful and still be loved by all they come in contact with. It's about personality and charisma.

 

You may be very attractive and have what others want BUT you can make them feel like they are wonderful by finding positive things about them.

 

I compliment a lot, but I ONLY do it about things a person really does that should be complimented. If someone tells me good news, shows me something they are excited about, I ALWAYS take the time be there to cheer them on or make over their situation.

 

I understand what you're saying. I have been a nurse for eight years. I am in school now trying to get my degree. I work with other nurses who are not as passionate about their jobs and want no more than what they have. I won't say that I am gorgeous, but not bad on the eyes.

 

When I moved here, it took me a while to notice that I got a lot of unwanted stares and whispers from women in general. I find it a pain. I compliment others all the time. Some people have a hard time accepting compliments. I told a co-worker that she had beautiful eyes ... she simply responded, "Stop sucking up!" I was shocked. What do you do and how do you handle so much jealousy when you have to work with people like that on a daily basis?

 

If you are an attractive person, you get used to receiving compliments all the time, make sure you don't get so caught up in them that you don't see the other attractive or nice, wonderful people around you. Beauty and success can be fleeting BUT a kind heart and a good personality can last your whole life!

 

I have found some people that are going to be jealous and can't be persuaded to be any other way, that's their problem.

 

Jealousy is petty and makes a person's life small and pathetic.

 

My best friend is 10 yrs younger than I. It's easier for her to lose those pesky 10lbs, have more energy and remember things!! It would be easy when I see her walk in when we are going out and feel a twinge of jealousy for her youthfulnesss but instead I tell her how lovely she looks or how proud I am of something she accomplishes...when I was younger, I felt I was in competition all the time to be the most attractive and best in everything, I found out I actually did better in life by cheering others on and encouraging them for their accomplishments...

 

I think that is the cool thing about aging...wisdom and peace...

 

Okay I've rambled all over this subject....

 

Just make sure you smile, compliment and don't get too in to yourself ... if you walk in a room smiling ... you can give off vibes that keep people from thinking "they are gorgeous, I bet they are a snob!"

 

I will say that it can make a person feel a bit shy when people stare at you when you walk in a room or whisper, I still get a bit unnerved when I see people still looking after I sit down or am still eating (it could be in my case they are wondering what basketball team that tall chick played for! ) ... but just smile and try to be comfortable in your skin ... then others will be comfortable around you!

 

If God gave you a nice face and figure, there is nothing wrong with that, it shouldn't be what you are all about but it's still a good thing!

 

If you are blessed with success, that is nothing wrong with that either...

 

(LR ... you'd just love me ... I put a good bit of money into the cosmetic companies every month, as I type this, I'm wearing a facial mask that will close my pores and cause my skin to glow!! )

[craque]

I don't really have those problems of people giving me bad stares. In fact, the more I improve myself the more people gather close to me. Of course there were some (very few) "friends" who've became jealous and went away and resented I was growing but that is something I can't change... most of people, expecially nice people, simply get happy for you and for themselves for having you as friend. I remember years ago when I was in a problems I've got those bad eyes from almost everyone, so yes, losers get the bad eyes, the pitty eyes even from other alikes or from sucessful people.

 

The concept of jealous haters is kind of absurd unless you mix yourself in the slums or places where the losers gather around. I don't really think you'll be hated when you're amonst alikes.

[Standard Deviant]

You've all engaged in important ideas. I'd like to add some more.

 

I don't think any of this is about materialism. Its' about self-degradation.

 

I think people are mean because we've built a culture of "screw the other person over before they screw you over" mentality. In a culture of pre-emptive wars, we mirror this in our daily lives. We are applauded when we hurt other people (i.e. make jokes about other peoples struggles)...and we are considered "stupid" if we respect everyone (because, of course, they will take the opportunity to roll you over if the chance comes....they'd be stupid not too). People believe that being nice, means you are more open to exploitation...you're weak, vulnerable. It's sad, but I truly believe this. I especially see it in corporate culture. Some of these people practice this behavior and consider themselves to be moral and religious.

 

I suggest when we see people who are mean, we should tell them (as diplomatically as possible) that they indeed are mean. One thing I've learned from being mocked my whole life for being a "nice guy" is that you got to stand of for yourself and realize that these people want to drag you down to their desperate, slavelike state. So, you got to tell them right up front....and don't worry about hurting their feelings (sometimes they don't have any. And if they do, sometimes they come back and say they are sorry.) Either way, fight for what you believe in, especially when the odds are against you.

 

I think "God's" children are very sick right now. And if she, he or them are really up there, they need to put a little extra effort into helping us survive. Everyone has so much pain and suffering in their lives and all we seem do is make fun of other people's pain and suffering.

 

Peace