Nervous Nervous Nervous I Think This Is It

[Leigh 87]

It's been three days since you met him. THREE DAYS.

 

 

Almost 5 days actually:lmao: You guys are a day behind us essentially. It is now Tuesday here. I met him Friday.

 

Look. I believe in knowing early on if you meet the right person.

 

I really do.

 

I also know that, in some cases, the guy just walks away out of the blue!

 

I know I know I know. Sht happens.

 

I really don't care though. I am not afraid of getting hurt. I do not care that I really think it is it with this guy. He seems to feel the same way.

 

I believe in instant, initial feelings where you know early on that things are right.

 

Look. I've had a 2.5 year relationship and I did not feel this strongly about my ex initially. I have been around some really lovely guys since, and still no spark like I have felt with the new guy.

 

And it is not because the new guy is hot or anything, and in fact, he is not as good looking as the other guys I have been with.

 

I was not lonely or desperate since my ex and I had been having fun with guys and I even had a really lovely FWB who was as nice as could be!!!!

 

I had no reason to feel this strongly about a guy who was not as good looking as my FWB and who I only met once when I was out. I had no urge to just...... meet the right person.

 

I actually expected to stay single for a very long time, and I was REALLY enjoying my FWB who is such an amazing guy.

 

This new guy came totally out of the blue and I was just so not expecting to meet someone I fell for.

[Leigh 87]

I have to say I didn't read all of this thread but bits and peices.... Sure seems very extreme how much you are "into" this guy without knowing him that much. Why are you putting him onto such a pedestal?

 

 

Yes I think he is lovely.

 

I have a good feeling about us.

 

I really think it will work out.

 

I think we have something special and think things will work out well.

 

Don't really care what others think about hard and fast love.

 

I am really enjoying it.

 

Could not care less if I get hurt. This happy feeling is well worth the risk of getting hurt. As it was with my ex, who I was ..... really heartbroken about initially.

 

I have seen my best friend fall in this sort of "like" which soon turned into " love"

 

She was also with a guy, for 3 years. I watched her meet a more suitable guy and they honestly fell in love within a week or two of hanging out.

 

I just believe in that sort of love where you know very early on.

 

I just have different beliefs to a lot of people on here I guess!

 

Some people say they wish they were more like me, in how I am so positive about love. I have not let my exes actions deter me from men, that is for sure.

[Star Gazer]

Almost 5 days actually:lmao: You guys are a day behind us essentially. It is now Tuesday here. I met him Friday.

 

Give me a break.

 

You met on Friday night and its JUST PAST MIDNIGHT in the very early morning hours of Tuesday.

 

Saturday

Sunday

Monday

 

It's been THREE DAYS since you met.

 

Not FIVE.

 

And even if it was five days, it's DAYS! Not even a week!

 

You're trying to justify your feelings to strangers, Leigh. You did this before with your open-relationship guy. You're trying to justify it, because you know the way you're thinking isn't healthy.

[thefooloftheyear]

I read this thread and I hugged my daughter very tight....

 

Good Grief!

 

TFY

[Treasa]

You met him on Friday? I don't even know if I've shaved my legs since then, but you're already in love and "know"? Seriously?

 

Girl, slow the hell down. Really. You honestly don't know jack **** about this guy, pardon the pun.

 

How are other things going in your life? Job, hobbies, friends, etc.?

[Joaquin]

Guys wanna **** u, we get it - but the way u go on indicates yr totally bonkers and need to see a therapist, preferably of the paid kind that wont **** u while "helping" u.

[Bluebelle38]

Guys wanna **** u, we get it - but the way u go on indicates yr totally bonkers and need to see a therapist, preferably of the paid kind that wont **** u while "helping" u.

 

A little bit cruel in the way you have said it, but I agree with you.

 

OP, you need to get a grip. You are jumping the gun because you long to be loved.

 

Sounds like you need to take a step back and be single until you realise you are fine without a man. You seem to crave them in your life - the FB, the ex and this new guy who you honestly know nothing about.

 

He met you and literally got into your pants straight away. We all have connections with people, but love takes a lot longer than a wet weekend. You have no idea what he is really like.

 

I would suggest the book 'Women who Love Too Much' by Robin Norwood.

[Imajerk17]

I wonder how he'd feel if he knew you were still constantly talking about your FWB and saying he's not as "hot" and has a belly and acne.

 

Girl you are all over the place with your posts!

 

Yeah I see where you are going with this. As a guy though I took it to mean that Leigh is saying that there is "something special" about him that leapfrogged guys who have a lot more going for them on paper (such as "looks" , a high-flying career, even charisma). I'm not saying that this is necessarily a great thing or not. As strange as it might sound though, that is a very powerful compliment that you can give a guy.

 

Leigh, when did you find yourself feeling that this guy was "something special"? Was it something about HIS looks that really appealed to you the moment you laid eyes on him? Was it is tone of voice? Does his worldview match yours? Was he able to finish your sentences in a way that guys you dated in the past were not?

[mesmerized]

A little bit cruel in the way you have said it, but I agree with you.

 

OP, you need to get a grip. You are jumping the gun because you long to be loved.

 

Sounds like you need to take a step back and be single until you realise you are fine without a man. You seem to crave them in your life - the FB, the ex and this new guy who you honestly know nothing about.

 

He met you and literally got into your pants straight away. We all have connections with people, but love takes a lot longer than a wet weekend. You have no idea what he is really like.

 

I would suggest the book 'Women who Love Too Much' by Robin Norwood.

 

I think Liegh has some serious self esteem issues. In the majority of her posts, she is rationalizing to herself how she's a great catch and why some men do or don't like her. I sympathize with her and what she's going through, but she is becoming borderline delusional in my opinion and this needs to change. First step though is for her to accept she has a problem and go from there.

[Bluebelle38]

I think Liegh has some serious self esteem issues. In the majority of her posts, she is rationalizing to herself how she's a great catch and why some men do or don't like her. I sympathize with her and what she's going through, but she is becoming borderline delusional in my opinion and this needs to change. First step though is for her to accept she has a problem and go from there.

 

Yes, I agree. There are definite self esteems issues.

 

I am only new to this part of the site and in the original post Leigh makes a point of mentioning she has 'other options'. Who needs to state that?

 

Leigh, I agree therapy would be really worthwhile for you. You know nothing about this man and you have literally run away with yourself.

 

As for mentioning his weight and acne, maybe you feel he is more of a safe bet because he is not some 6 foot looker? I am really unsure of its relevance. Overweight men talk B*llsh*t too.

Edited August 26, 2013 by Bluebelle38

[CarrieT]

Leigh, I agree therapy would be really worthwhile for you. You know nothing about this man and you have literally run away with yourself.

Those of us that have been here a while have seen this before with Leigh.

 

We have begged, cajoled, and suggested in depth therapy a number of times -- often 'till we are blue in the face.

 

We have been there for her and gone through her pages and pages and pages of her trying to convince herself (via us) that she knows what she is doing and she is okay.

 

I am really sorry to say that I do not see this encounter (I won't even justify it with a "relationship" moniker) as being very substantive but yet another attempt at Leigh trying to establish a sense of normalcy.

 

The healthiest thing she could do -- which is what she SAID she was going to do after her most recent break-up -- is to refrain from any type of relationship; FWB or intimate of any kind, until she works through these issues.

 

The mere fact that this thread exists and that she is nutsy-koo-koo for a guy she has known for THREE DAYS clearly indicates that she is not ready for another relationship and is continuing to delude herself in this regard.

 

But we will continue to be here for her to help pick up her pieces when the fall occurs. Because - sadly - it is inevitable. I'm sorry to say that, Leigh, I really am. But I believe in my core being that you know this to be true as well - despite your protestations to the contrary.

[Ruby Slippers]

The healthiest thing she could do -- which is what she SAID she was going to do after her most recent break-up -- is to refrain from any type of relationship; FWB or intimate of any kind, until she works through these issues.

I don't know Leigh's history very well, but I will say that a lot of the time I spent alone, stoic, working on myself was just sad, lonely time.

 

Getting involved with people can cause you pain - but relationships with other people is what life really comes down to. At the end of your life, that's the only thing that's really going to have mattered.

 

I've made some of my greatest leaps through things I've learned in relationships.

 

Sure, time to yourself to reflect can be a good thing. But nobody knows what Leigh needs to develop as a person. I'm sure that if she really needs time to herself, she'll take it.

[Treasa]

As for mentioning his weight and acne, maybe you feel he is more of a safe bet because he is not some 6 foot looker? I am really unsure of its relevance. Overweight men talk B*llsh*t too.

 

Oh my God...my cousin does this! And she falls hard for almost every guy she meets. All are duds in one way or another, but I think she feels they are "safe" and she'll be secure.

 

And invariably they all break up with her for being clingy. Except the last one, who I think is truly just desperate enough to stay...

 

I can't even articulate how nuts this behavior makes me. She hasn't even met him in real life yet, but they Skype all the time and he's "the one."

[Bluebelle38]

I had self esteem issues in my 20s/early 30s and would jump from relationship to relationship. I was so desperate to not be 'alone' that I would literally ignore every red flag a relationship presented me with. As a result I ended up with serial cheaters, alcoholics and a physical abuser. They were not obviously so, most of my friends thought they were great guys.

 

The thing is, until I stopped and broke this pattern nothing in my life changed. it was a horrible cycle that I just kept repeating.

 

One day I had enough and I decided to be single, I cut off contact with an ex I had seen on/off for 10 years (FWB situation), I quit drinking, I learnt that I am fabulous without a man (and looking back I was a disastrous, insecure mess with all the exes)

 

I got myself back into college (am starting year 2 of my degree next month) and for the first time in my life I truly love myself. I know that sounds as cheesy as a stuffed crust four-cheese pizza, but it is true.

 

What I have found since is that any rejection is water off a duck's back because I know I am great single anyway. I don't dwell over what was and the mistakes I made (I am thankful I never married any of them).

 

I realise that everyone is different and one bad experience doesn't mean all men are the same. I still make mistakes, I am far from perfect, but I stopped making a man and a relationship the centre of my existence and realised how much happier I am being in control of my emotions and my life.

 

A relationship is great, but when they cause so much pain, we have to look at ourselves and ask why we are allowing ourselves to be put through them. We are hurting and in pain and we need to be healed before we can ever be truly happy in any relationship.

 

Leigh, go get counselling. I can't recommend enough the healing that came with mine. xx

[Star Gazer]

I had self esteem issues in my 20s/early 30s and would jump from relationship to relationship. I was so desperate to not be 'alone' that I would literally ignore every red flag a relationship presented me with. As a result I ended up with serial cheaters, alcoholics and a physical abuser. They were not obviously so, most of my friends thought they were great guys.

 

The thing is, until I stopped and broke this pattern nothing in my life changed. it was a horrible cycle that I just kept repeating.

 

One day I had enough and I decided to be single, I cut off contact with an ex I had seen on/off for 10 years (FWB situation), I quit drinking, I learnt that I am fabulous without a man (and looking back I was a disastrous, insecure mess with all the exes)

 

I got myself back into college (am starting year 2 of my degree next month) and for the first time in my life I truly love myself. I know that sounds as cheesy as a stuffed crust four-cheese pizza, but it is true.

 

What I have found since is that any rejection is water off a duck's back because I know I am great single anyway. I don't dwell over what was and the mistakes I made (I am thankful I never married any of them).

 

I realise that everyone is different and one bad experience doesn't mean all men are the same. I still make mistakes, I am far from perfect, but I stopped making a man and a relationship the centre of my existence and realised how much happier I am being in control of my emotions and my life.

 

A relationship is great, but when they cause so much pain, we have to look at ourselves and ask why we are allowing ourselves to be put through them. We are hurting and in pain and we need to be healed before we can ever be truly happy in any relationship.

 

Leigh, go get counselling. I can recommend enough the healing that came with mine. xx

 

And yet you're going our with a guy who sent your nude torso pics before even meeting you?

 

I agree with everything you said; I think you might want to re-read it for your own benefit...you're backsliding.

[Bluebelle38]

And yet you're going our with a guy who sent your nude torso pics before even meeting you?

 

I agree with everything you said; I think you might want to re-read it for your own benefit...you're backsliding.

 

This is not my thread, it is Leigh's. Feel free to continue discussing my situation on my thread.

[Babolat]

Leigh, I don't know you, I don't judge you, just an opinion here...

 

I looked at your photos and, well, they send a message. Especially the one of you in your bedroom.

 

You ARE a very attractive woman, incredible eyes, great skins, great bodyand you got it going for sure.

 

You seem all over the place though since your last relationship ended. Nothing wrong with that, it may be your time to have fun, that's OK. But don't even consider a serious LTR right now. You have some stuff to figure out IMHO. That does not mean you need to be alone; I agree with Ruby on that one though I also agree with the poster who said she decided to be single...do what works for you. I also agree with Drseussgirl; go on dates...coming over to watch DVDs; that is an invitation for more sex/play. Pretty dam easy for him IMHO. Make him ask you out, take you out, wine and dine you.

 

Date, have sex, have fun, but if I were you I would tell these men you are not looking for a LTR right now, nor no should you be.

[Leigh 87]

First of all, I think I am a great girl and I think this guy is crazy about me. NO ONE here has ANY proof to the contrary, and I think it is disgusting that, for some reason, people here so not think I am worthy of a guy being really into me.

 

Honestly, I like myself a lot and love my personality. I totally get why a guy would be really into me. For all my "faults", I have enough going for me for a guy to fall for me, enough to want to BE with me.

 

There is nothing I want to change about my personality or who I am really. I actually like the way I am now lol. The way I dress, the way I look and the sort of integrity I have in how I treat others - I honestly do not hate myself of have any major "self esteem" issues.

 

I met this guy and I believe we both feel very strongly about each other, and in a way we never felt with other people.

 

I think you're all wrong.

 

I think this guy and I are a genuine match and we will be happy together for some time.

 

It is a little sick that you can't just believe that, shock horror: maybe it iso possible for a guy to be really into me? For me and another guy to be a genuinely good match?

 

I am funny, interesting to talk to, and very kind. I have travelled a lot and I have lived a very interesting life for my age. A lot of funny crap has happened to me. I honestly do not see why you all fail to see that some guys would be really into me?

 

Anyways. I think it is ABSURD that you think I should just tell this guy that I want to stop things with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I really like him!? He really likes me!?!?!?!

 

I NEVER HEVER needed a boyfriend. Not in my LIFE. Not ONCE.

 

I was always the queen of "not needing a guy"

 

HELLO. I was only perpetually SINGLE for 4 years in my 20's. Because I did not need a guy. Not because I would not get one.

 

I was single for MONTHS since my ex, and just had simple fun. I met ONE guy in that time that I felt was lovely and my type, and who was too much of a catch for me to ignore; however, I had 4 months before that guy would have seen me again, therefore I thought 4 months was a good time frame to be single. I thought being single was A GOOD THING haha!.

 

I have no issue being single. I never have. I very much enjoy my life with the charity work I do once a week, my par time Uni work, and the full time work I am always looking for.

 

I have a lot of very decent friends these days, where as I HAD NONE 3 years ago. You guys have absolutely NO idea how far I have come, or what measure of resilience I actually have.

 

 

 

 

 

I SEE a good therapist. She can see I am aware of my issues. My ex leaving me scared me into finally dealing with them. I was a nice girl, but I had to fix certain issues, to make me a healthier person to be involved with; not that HE was perfect himself.....

 

My THERAPIST says I Am fine to be in a new relationship now, FOUR MONTHS after my relationship ended.

 

I have yet to get upset by my FWB or casual hook ups. Besides realising that the casual encounters are not who I am and do nothing for me with out SOME feelings. Feelings I need with my FWB, albeit minimal feelings that do not get me invested in them more than I should be!.

 

I have only gotten upset over one guy since my ex, about 3 or more months AFTER we broke up.

 

Believe me. I was NOT. I repeat, I was NOT looking to find ANY relationship.

 

I have been AVERSE to relationships since my ex!

 

Hence the FWB. Two of them so far. Because that is ALL I wanted. My last FWB and I could have started dating, we both lamented once I ended it.

 

But no, I was vehemently AGAINST dating, and he said he was very clear about it and while it could have gone both ways as far as he was concerned, I had NO interest in dating him seriously; AND HE WAS HOT! Lol. Seriously, he was ..... a great catch.

 

I honestly avoided dating even great guys (and yes, believe it or not, he did want to seriously date me down the line once we met more than twice).

 

You guys are the pessimistic ones that fail to see that I simply met a guy who is really into me.

 

We are genuinely really happy being together.

[Babolat]

First of all, I think I am a great girl and I think this guy is crazy about me. NO ONE here has ANY proof to the contrary, and I think it is disgusting that, for some reason, people here so not think I am worthy of a guy being really into me.

 

Honestly, I like myself a lot and love my personality. I totally get why a guy would be really into me. For all my "faults", I have enough going for me for a guy to fall for me, enough to want to BE with me.

 

There is nothing I want to change about my personality or who I am really. I actually like the way I am now lol. The way I dress, the way I look and the sort of integrity I have in how I treat others - I honestly do not hate myself of have any major "self esteem" issues.

 

I met this guy and I believe we both feel very strongly about each other, and in a way we never felt with other people.

 

I think you're all wrong.

 

I think this guy and I are a genuine match and we will be happy together for some time.

 

It is a little sick that you can't just believe that, shock horror: maybe it iso possible for a guy to be really into me? For me and another guy to be a genuinely good match?

 

I am funny, interesting to talk to, and very kind. I have travelled a lot and I have lived a very interesting life for my age. A lot of funny crap has happened to me. I honestly do not see why you all fail to see that some guys would be really into me?

 

Anyways. I think it is ABSURD that you think I should just tell this guy that I want to stop things with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I really like him!? He really likes me!?!?!?!

 

I NEVER HEVER needed a boyfriend. Not in my LIFE. Not ONCE.

 

I was always the queen of "not needing a guy"

 

HELLO. I was only perpetually SINGLE for 4 years in my 20's. Because I did not need a guy. Not because I would not get one.

 

I was single for MONTHS since my ex, and just had simple fun. I met ONE guy in that time that I felt was lovely and my type, and who was too much of a catch for me to ignore; however, I had 4 months before that guy would have seen me again, therefore I thought 4 months was a good time frame to be single. I thought being single was A GOOD THING haha!.

 

I have no issue being single. I never have. I very much enjoy my life with the charity work I do once a week, my par time Uni work, and the full time work I am always looking for.

 

I have a lot of very decent friends these days, where as I HAD NONE 3 years ago. You guys have absolutely NO idea how far I have come, or what measure of resilience I actually have.

 

 

 

 

 

I SEE a good therapist. She can see I am aware of my issues. My ex leaving me scared me into finally dealing with them. I was a nice girl, but I had to fix certain issues, to make me a healthier person to be involved with; not that HE was perfect himself.....

 

My THERAPIST says I Am fine to be in a new relationship now, FOUR MONTHS after my relationship ended.

 

I have yet to get upset by my FWB or casual hook ups. Besides realising that the casual encounters are not who I am and do nothing for me with out SOME feelings. Feelings I need with my FWB, albeit minimal feelings that do not get me invested in them more than I should be!.

 

I have only gotten upset over one guy since my ex, about 3 or more months AFTER we broke up.

 

Believe me. I was NOT. I repeat, I was NOT looking to find ANY relationship.

 

I have been AVERSE to relationships since my ex!

 

Hence the FWB. Two of them so far. Because that is ALL I wanted. My last FWB and I could have started dating, we both lamented once I ended it.

 

But no, I was vehemently AGAINST dating, and he said he was very clear about it and while it could have gone both ways as far as he was concerned, I had NO interest in dating him seriously; AND HE WAS HOT! Lol. Seriously, he was ..... a great catch.

 

I honestly avoided dating even great guys (and yes, believe it or not, he did want to seriously date me down the line once we met more than twice).

 

You guys are the pessimistic ones that fail to see that I simply met a guy who is really into me.

 

We are genuinely really happy being together.

 

I personally, and I don't think anyone else here is judging you. You come to a public forum for advice and, well, that is what you are going to get.

 

Most of us, my guess, are older than you and have seen you in ourselves before, so we are trying to help, that's really it. At the end of the day we are fingers on a keyboard; we don't really know you, you are right.

 

Speaking for myself, when I reply to a post I try to share form my own experiences, or my own knowledge, or both. Heck, I am still f&8cking my ex, and I love it, so I have MY issues too. She just texted me to tell me she is mastrabating on my bed, what am I doing later, can she come back over. Sure, I can't wait to see her.

 

I think most of us are just saying we see a pattern here, lots of repetition in your comments, almost defensive. If you think this guy is your match, go for it. Have fun, enjoy him.

[Leigh 87]

bluebell - I don't care about your issues. You are not going to convince me that I somehow hate myself and need help.

 

I wish you well, but man. I LIKE my personality. I think I am a catch for a guy.

 

Since my ex, decent guys have been attracted to me. To talking to me.

 

I also have very decent friends! So yeah. I think I am a nice girl and I have managed to attract decent people around me in these last years.

 

I have had a hard past with abuse and anorexia and social isolation, among other things, however I am a very positive person and I am very happy.

 

As in, I wake up and feel quiet happy every morning lol. So yeah, a few people on here, cough mezmerized cough, sound very down and out, and not like very optimistic people! Seriously. I wake up with a huge smile on my face EVERY day. I never feel depressed or down.

 

And yeah I think it is pretty sick that you can't see that hey, I might have met a guy who really, really likes me and who I believe I have something potentially good with.

 

MY best friend met a guy in the SAME WAY! And guess what? They are STILL HAPPY together!

 

Like... So what, they broke the "rules" so to speak... but months later they are WONDERFUL together, even though they started hard and fast!

 

I still believe you can fall hard for someone early on, and have a genuine love match.

 

And yeah. I really was NOT seeking out a boyfriend, and was quiet against that notion.

 

It took a REALLY great guy to compel me to want more.

 

Otherwise I would take the first hot guy that showed an interest to me. Which, by the way, I have DO genuinely have options. Like MOST average to cute looking girls in their mid to late 20's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT aint a bad thing I know I have options? It is just he truth. I think I am a great girl and why wouldn't I have options? I am a decent girl and therefore I tend to attract decent people into my life since my ex! Both socially and romantically speaking.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways. This guy and I make each other very happy. Again, with all my issues, I have come a long enough way and shown enough resilience for my therapist to believe I will be fine with this new guy.

 

I mean. I will let him go see his friends alone. I will not expect him to call or text 24/7. I just found a guy that, out of the blue, makes me really happy to be with, and who I think will treat me very well and who is genuinely into me in a way that warrants a relationship.

 

I have learnt what he norms are in healthy relationships. I have also learnt that they can end ANY second, and that I WILL Be totally fine with heartbreak!

 

I am not scared of it not working out. And for now, I think it is ridiculous to call it off with a guy I am getting along very well with.

[Leigh 87]

I personally, and I don't think anyone else here is judging you. You come to a public forum for advice and, well, that is what you are going to get.

 

Most of us, my guess, are older than you and have seen you in ourselves before, so we are trying to help, that's really it. At the end of the day we are fingers on a keyboard; we don't really know you, you are right.

 

Speaking for myself, when I reply to a post I try to share form my own experiences, or my own knowledge, or both. Heck, I am still f&8cking my ex, and I love it, so I have MY issues too. She just texted me to tell me she is mastrabating on my bed, what am I doing later, can she come back over. Sure, I can't wait to see her.

 

I think most of us are just saying we see a pattern here, lots of repetition in your comments, almost defensive. If you think this guy is your match, go for it. Have fun, enjoy him.

 

 

 

 

Thanks. Well, I have been wise enough to cut my ex off at last. I had moved on to the point where I do not want him romantically speaking anyway, but I have declined his offers to see me and have, as of last night, cut him off entirely. It was very hard to do, as I love having him as a friend.

 

We only had sex twice after we broke up, within the first month.

 

I knew after a month and a half I was forever with him.

 

I am not thrilled he broke up with me. As mean as it sounds....

 

I guess if she is really hot and you have great sex, then I cannot really blame you for wanting to still bang her.

 

..........................................

 

As for me? Yeah. I think I happened to meet a guy, when I was certainly NOT looking for a "boyfriend" or sex from a guy (since I hate casual hook ups, through trying them and knowing first hand that I hate them) and I also had a wonderful FWB.

 

I just met a guy and I think we both came across a person who will really enhance each other lives.

 

I am a strong person who is very nice and fun to be around, and he is also lovely to have around. I can see why he would be made happy by me long term, and vice versa.

 

I have no idea why people are so uptight and take life SOOOOOO seriously! Like. LMAO. :lmao::lmao::lmao:

[Babolat]

Thanks. Well, I have been wise enough to cut my ex off at last. I had moved on to the point where I do not want him romantically speaking anyway, but I have declined his offers to see me and have, as of last night, cut him off entirely. It was very hard to do, as I love having him as a friend.

 

We only had sex twice after we broke up, within the first month.

 

I knew after a month and a half I was forever with him.

 

I am not thrilled he broke up with me. As mean as it sounds....

 

I guess if she is really hot and you have great sex, then I cannot really blame you for wanting to still bang her.

 

..........................................

 

As for me? Yeah. I think I happened to meet a guy, when I was certainly NOT looking for a "boyfriend" or sex from a guy (since I hate casual hook ups, through trying them and knowing first hand that I hate them) and I also had a wonderful FWB.

 

I just met a guy and I think we both came across a person who will really enhance each other lives.

 

I am a strong person who is very nice and fun to be around, and he is also lovely to have around. I can see why he would be made happy by me long term, and vice versa.

 

I have no idea why people are so uptight and take life SOOOOOO seriously! Like. LMAO. :lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

And I should add, you actually remind me a bit (physically) of my ex gf when she was younger, from pics of have seen of her. You have the look I like, blonde, blue eyes, fair beautiful skin, thin...so I can SEE why men find you attractive. And, if you have 1/2 of her social personality, guys will be beating your door down!

 

You don't need to justify yourself to us; you sound like a great person with many attractive qualities and you sound like you have been through a lot of personal growth recently. Good for you!

 

You are asking for advise about this man, we are giving it to you, take the pieces and parts that make sense, discard the others, and have fun along the way.

 

In 10+ years you may be back on here giving US advise...I hope it's not for me though as that will mean I am REALLY old and still mucking around!

[Treasa]

Ok, seriously, it was like someone described a really vibrant painting for you, and you got bent because they described the color of the sky as aqua instead of blue. You're really missing the point. No one has said anything bad about you, but the fact that you nearly wrote a thesis about how great you are is very telling of your self-esteem, or lack thereof. People who are really happy don't have to over-explain how happy they are to others, and why they're so awesome.

 

I'm pretty sure most people here are just saying slow down, don't get too attached, have fun, maybe get to know the guy first...I don't know. I only have 20+ years of dating experience, but most of it sounds like common sense, you know?

[Imajerk17]

 

Leigh, when did you find yourself feeling that this guy was "something special"? Was it something about HIS looks that really appealed to you the moment you laid eyes on him? Was it is tone of voice? Does his worldview match yours? Was he able to finish your sentences in a way that guys you dated in the past were not?

 

 

Leigh, I'll ask you this question again. Not to judge or anything, but what does this guy have that your FWB did not, and when did you notice that he has that?

 

I don't think anyone thinks its bad that you got involved with someone again, it's this declaring that he is the one after knowing him for such a short time.

 

AND come to think of it, that you keep mentioning over and over again how great your FWB was and how flawed your new boyfriend is makes me wonder if the reason why you are so gaga over your new boyfriend is because your issues (yours and his together) line up so well together (which might not be that unusual)...

Edited August 26, 2013 by Imajerk17

[Babolat]

but the fact that you nearly wrote a thesis about how great you are is very telling of your self-esteem, or lack thereof. People who are really happy don't have to over-explain how happy they are to others, and why they're so awesome.

 

Bingo! Love ya T!

 

And please don't read her comment as an attack on you. Lots and lots of folks have self-esteem issues; myself included. Thats why there are therapists and 2 trillion self help books!

 

What we are saying is "It's OK", recognize it, work on when and if you can, or chose to, have fun along the way.

 

And, speaking from a mans point of view, don't tell this man why you are so happy, why you are so greaat, or try to justify it to him..it will push him away. Let him "SEE" how happy you are and what a great person you are; you don't have to sell it to him. I had a 3rd date with a woman once where that is all she talked about; everything about h er that was great and why don't men see it. I could not say "check please" quick enough.

 

I recently bumped into her as we have mutual friends. She asked me why I never called her back again...