Nervous Nervous Nervous I Think This Is It

[Star Gazer]

I get it.

 

I agree actually.

 

I guess I want to do a few things differently next time around.

 

If he calls? I guess I should just be myself but not expect much, but still enjoy the happy feelings one gets from falling for someone?

 

I think you should reign in the "falling for someone" stuff and get to know him for real. That takes time, not days.

 

And more than one day without a call is never right lol.

 

Actually, it is when you've only known someone 4-5 days.

[Leigh 87]

- you implied this guy saw me as a sex toy and that he did not think I had anything else going for me. Which is ****e, since I have a career plan mapped out, I am altruistic, I talk about most topics and I am interesting and funny.

 

 

 

Of course you are! And awesome, incredible, super, gigantic!!!

 

 

What is your problem? You sound like a very bitchy and nasty girl.

 

There is nothing wrong with having things I like about myself.

 

I also have a list of things I DISLIKE about myself, but since I am a happy uplifting and positive women to be around, I tend to work on my flaws and focus on the good things about me.

 

I am certainly better than people who bitch and say snarky things, like you seem to be.

 

If I have nothing nice to say to people around me, I don't say it.

 

People can go saying they think themselves awesome all they like. I wouldn't tell them otherwise? COnfidence is great!

 

I have a lot of decent and high quality people around me so yeah, it is not like I have a false sense of confidence either. Or I would not have great friends, who are decent people.

 

Like attracts like.

[forgetmenot75]

Nah. I just think this guy and any guy who sleeps with me can see I have substance and have more to offer than sex ya know; I am a nice person to talk to, I am interesting and funny. A very nice girl.

 

You are the delusional one. You assume this guy only saw me as purely a sex object,

 

 

I think he liked me. And thought I was a pretty darn cool girl.

 

Do you think that repeating how darn cool you are you're gonna believe it more?

Keep trying!

[Star Gazer]

Nah. I just think this guy and any guy who sleeps with me can see I have substance and have more to offer than sex ya know; I am a nice person to talk to, I am interesting and funny. A very nice girl

 

I think this is a very naive way of thinking.

 

When you put sex at the forefront, that's what he's going to think of you as, first and foremost.

 

And yes, he may think you're a cool girl. Many guys like chicks who bang right away, because they make it easy on them. "She's cool, she's easy, she ain't giving me no problems. I like cool girls. A lot. Yum."

 

Is that how you want a guy to think of you?

 

Or would you prefer him to think, "Gosh, this girl is special. There's a little bit of mystery there, but it's so clear she really values herself. I want to get to know her better. I wonder if I have what it takes to be the right man for her. I want to treat her right. Maybe someday, I'll bring her home to meet my mom."

[Star Gazer]

Do you think that repeating how darn cool you are you're gonna believe it more?

Keep trying!

 

You're not helping and you're actually making yourself look bad. JMHO.

[Leigh 87]

I think you should reign in the "falling for someone" stuff and get to know him for real. That takes time, not days.

 

 

 

Actually, it is when you've only known someone 4-5 days.

 

 

Yeah okay I think I may have jumped the gun a bit. A day is no big deal for the short amount of time we have known each other. I will tone down expectations until we get to know each other, if that happens.

 

I don't agree with posters who think he is only after sex though. I have too sparky of a personality for a guy to not see past my vagina.

 

I really don't think this guy lied like others have implied.

[forgetmenot75]

Sorry Leigh I have a busy life, can't hang out all day here. I wish you the best

[Leigh 87]

I think this is a very naive way of thinking.

 

When you put sex at the forefront, that's what he's going to think of you as, first and foremost.

 

And yes, he may think you're a cool girl. Many guys like chicks who bang right away, because they make it easy on them. "She's cool, she's easy, she ain't giving me no problems. I like cool girls. A lot. Yum."

 

Is that how you want a guy to think of you?

 

Or would you prefer him to think, "Gosh, this girl is special. There's a little bit of mystery there, but it's so clear she really values herself. I want to get to know her better. I wonder if I have what it takes to be the right man for her. I want to treat her right. Maybe someday, I'll bring her home to meet my mom."

 

 

 

 

Yes I want the latter.

 

I believe I am worthy and that I will make some lucky guy really happy, so I don't want to UNDERMINE my worth.

 

Thanks.

[Janesays]

 

Or would you prefer him to think, "Gosh, this girl is special. There's a little bit of mystery there, but it's so clear she really values herself. I want to get to know her better. I wonder if I have what it takes to be the right man for her. I want to treat her right. Maybe someday, I'll bring her home to meet my mom."

 

Bwhahahahahaha! Guys don't think this crap to themselves! What hogwash! Quit giving the OP unrealistic expectations!

[forgetmenot75]

You're not helping and you're actually making yourself look bad. JMHO.

 

Ugh sorry if I sound feisty. I so think she's trying to convince herself how awesome she is though. I can't believe this woman

[thefooloftheyear]

I know its difficult, because many women(girls) think that guys are just spending their entire free time obsessed with THEM...

 

Perhaps he just has a life...

 

TFY

[Bluebelle38]

Nah. I just think this guy and any guy who sleeps with me can see I have substance and have more to offer than sex ya know; I am a nice person to talk to, I am interesting and funny. A very nice girl.

 

You are the delusional one. You assume this guy only saw me as purely a sex object,

 

I think he liked me. And thought I was a pretty darn cool girl.

 

Every single person on the planet has more to offer than just sex, it is a moot point.

 

Whether what you have to offer beyond sex is what he wants, only he can know.

 

Most women in this situation would go about their day, hoping for a message but not over-thinking it.

 

You said you don't need a man. I think you 100% do. You need someone to validate you, because in the absence of a partner you spend all your time on here saying why you should have one. Why you deserve one.

 

We all deserve love, you are no different.

 

Why not get rid of the FWB situation as that is doing anything good for you but reinforcing someone wants to f*ck you and not go beyond that.

[Leigh 87]

Sorry Leigh I have a busy life, can't hang out all day here. I wish you the best

 

 

 

well u make me sick frankly.

 

Then again. It is hard for such a generous and altruistic women like myself to understand people like you who say negative things to other people.

 

I surround myself with friends who ..... commend people when they like certain things about themselves.

[Divasu]

Ladies ladies....Behave or else you're both going into the jello pool...

[Star Gazer]

Yeah okay I think I may have jumped the gun a bit. A day is no big deal for the short amount of time we have known each other. I will tone down expectations until we get to know each other, if that happens.

 

Don't have ANY expectations. Just enjoy getting to know him, and letting him get to know you.

 

I don't agree with posters who think he is only after sex though. I have too sparky of a personality for a guy to not see past my vagina.

 

I really don't think this guy lied like others have implied.

 

I think you're missing something huge here:

 

ALL GUYS WANT SEX. All of them. Every single one. They all position themselves in some way in the hopes it ups their chances of getting it. Some just go full out with cock shots and aggressive behavior. Others try the woo. It depends on what they think they need to do in order to entice you into doing it.

 

The less they have to work for it, the less they will want a relationship with you. Like spoiled teenagers, men don't value what's given to them for free.

 

You gave it to him for free.

 

And here's something else you need to understand.

 

Like I said before, EVERY GUY you date is going to want to sex you. Every single one. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to sex you. (That's all the validation you need; you don't need to actually fhuck them.) BUT... The GOOD guys, the ones you actually WANT to be in a relationship with, the guys who ARE looking for the girl to take home to mom... As much as they want to fhuck you, they secretly don't want you to. They don't want you to fhuck them easily. They want you to be a woman of value.

 

I'm not saying you're not a woman of value if you fhuck early; but you don't come across as one... And perception is everything.

[Star Gazer]

Bwhahahahahaha! Guys don't think this crap to themselves! What hogwash! Quit giving the OP unrealistic expectations!

 

I was presenting two extremes of the spectrum.

 

But I had an ex think of me that way. :shrug:

[Leigh 87]

Every single person on the planet has more to offer than just sex, it is a moot point.

 

Whether what you have to offer beyond sex is what he wants, only he can know.

 

Most women in this situation would go about their day, hoping for a message but not over-thinking it.

 

You said you don't need a man. I think you 100% do. You need someone to validate you, because in the absence of a partner you spend all your time on here saying why you should have one. Why you deserve one.

 

We all deserve love, you are no different.

 

Why not get rid of the FWB situation as that is doing anything good for you but reinforcing someone wants to f*ck you and not go beyond that.

 

 

 

 

You have no idea about who I am. And you said you don't think I am awesome so really, I don't have any regard for your advice. Seeing as me and my many friends think I am a great girl.

 

I will say that I enjoy talking on here about guys. I always have. It has nothing to do with needing a man. I know how I think. You don't. You can guess though!

 

Lastly, I had a WONDEFUL FWB thanks.

 

He actually still initiates messages EVERY DAY.

 

He thinks I am an amazing girl:)

 

I had zero concern as to whether he got with other girls and yet I enjoyed a very close and lovely casual arrangement with him...

 

Not sure what evidence you have to suggest my FWB hurt me? He didn't....

 

I have the option of selection FWB who respect me as a women and who think I am a decent human being. And who enjoy talking to me and being around me.

 

It is only sex but hey. I have to have a connection with a FWB still.

 

FWB are just what I need right now.

 

I PREFER a FWB opposed to dating because I DO NOT fall for many guys easily.

 

Only two guys in my life, as well as my ex, who I wanted to date.

 

so that is THREE GUYS since I turned 20.

 

I am almost 27 now so..... I have turned down infinitely more men that I have wanted to date:lmao:

[Lansing]

I have a feeling this thread will be locked by the mods at some point.

 

To Leigh 87, I think you need to think about why so many people are offering you the same advice. Everyone isn't ganging up on your because they don't like you. People see a pattern developing and are pointing it out to you. It is much easier to see these things from an outside perspective. I agree with what others are saying and I agree with the person who mentioned the ADHD thing. You really should read up on it. I see signs there especially when it comes to certain people with ADHD and how they handle relationships and the impulsiveness that you have.

[Bluebelle38]

Don't have ANY expectations. Just enjoy getting to know him, and letting him get to know you.

 

 

 

I think you're missing something huge here:

 

ALL GUYS WANT SEX. All of them. Every single one. They all position themselves in some way in the hopes it ups their chances of getting it. Some just go full out with cock shots and aggressive behavior. Others try the woo. It depends on what they think they need to do in order to entice you into doing it.

 

The less they have to work for it, the less they will want a relationship with you. Like spoiled teenagers, men don't value what's given to them for free.

 

You gave it to him for free.

 

And here's something else you need to understand.

 

Like I said before, EVERY GUY you date is going to want to sex you. Every single one. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to sex you. (That's all the validation you need; you don't need to actually fhuck them.) BUT... The GOOD guys, the ones you actually WANT to be in a relationship with, the guys who ARE looking for the girl to take home to mom... As much as they want to fhuck you, they secretly don't want you to. They don't want you to fhuck them easily. They want you to be a woman of value.

 

I'm not saying you're not a woman of value if you fhuck early; but you don't come across as one... And perception is everything.

 

Hmmmm, not all guys hold the double standard that if a girl puts out on the first date (as they themselves did) that she is not relationship material.

 

Plenty of relationships start with a ONS that develops.

 

Every single guy is different.

[Leigh 87]

Don't have ANY expectations. Just enjoy getting to know him, and letting him get to know you.

 

 

 

I think you're missing something huge here:

 

ALL GUYS WANT SEX. All of them. Every single one. They all position themselves in some way in the hopes it ups their chances of getting it. Some just go full out with cock shots and aggressive behavior. Others try the woo. It depends on what they think they need to do in order to entice you into doing it.

 

The less they have to work for it, the less they will want a relationship with you. Like spoiled teenagers, men don't value what's given to them for free.

 

You gave it to him for free.

 

And here's something else you need to understand.

 

Like I said before, EVERY GUY you date is going to want to sex you. Every single one. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to sex you. (That's all the validation you need; you don't need to actually fhuck them.) BUT... The GOOD guys, the ones you actually WANT to be in a relationship with, the guys who ARE looking for the girl to take home to mom... As much as they want to fhuck you, they secretly don't want you to. They don't want you to fhuck them easily. They want you to be a woman of value.

 

I'm not saying you're not a woman of value if you fhuck early; but you don't come across as one... And perception is everything.

 

 

 

 

I have wanted to change my ways for a while.

 

I slept with a few guys since my ex. It helped me forget about him but I didn't feel good about it.

 

I either slept with looking guys who were cool but I never saw again; then felt yucky that I did not have a connection with them:(

 

Or in this case, I slept with him too soon. A guy I actually liked.

 

In Germany, the one other guy in my life I have felt strongly for? We did not have sex and we both said afterwards, via facebook once we separated, that we were both SO GLAD we held off.

 

And I do not feel great about having slept with this guy. Though the sex was really, really good ugh. Not a huge package but it fit so well. And he loved pleasing me. Ugh.

[Star Gazer]

Hmmmm, not all guys hold the double standard that if a girl puts out on the first date (as they themselves did) that she is not relationship material.

 

Plenty of relationships start with a ONS that develops.

 

Every single guy is different.

 

IMO, every single guy will respect and value a woman more if he's not fhucked by her within a day or so of knowing who she is.

 

If a woman is LTR oriented, it cannot hurt her to make sure he sees her as a woman of value who respects herself before letting him enter her... And she cannot possibly do that within a day or two of knowing him.

 

(You slept with sexy pic guy, didn't you? )

[Lansing]

 

ALL GUYS WANT SEX. All of them. Every single one. They all position themselves in some way in the hopes it ups their chances of getting it. Some just go full out with cock shots and aggressive behavior. Others try the woo. It depends on what they think they need to do in order to entice you into doing it.

 

I don't think this is a fair comment. I am not looking to get into a relationship with a girl for the sex. If I find an awesome girl that didn't want to have sex until marriage and everything else was great about her I wouldn't hesitate to be in a relationship with her. If you are saying I would want to have sex with her eventually... Yeah, but, all people who aren't asexual are looking to have sex at some point so you can change you line to say "everyone wants to have sex"...

[Leigh 87]

The insanity that is this thread. My god. You haven't known this guy even a week yet and we've ran the gamut of what is your ex, your FWB, sex, how awesome and cool you are, how often he should be texting you, oh my god oh my god nervous nervous I THINK THIS IS IT, wait no it isn't because I haven't heard from him in 24 hours, I'm going to stop having sex with him! I mean good lord woman - I can't keep up with what's going on in your head. Wtf!

 

You are NOT in a healthy frame of mind to be dating right now. You met a DUDE AT A BAR that you slept with right away. It's simply that.

 

Good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

 

 

I sound excitable cos I love writing and type very fast. You read me wrong. I do not THINK with the intensity I WRITE.

 

I don't need luck thanks. I am a strong women who has been through a lot and I have a great life so yeah, I really don't need luck with things. But thanks anyway.

[Bluebelle38]

IMO, every single guy will respect and value a woman more if he's not fhucked by her within a day or so of knowing who she is.

 

If a woman is LTR oriented, it cannot hurt her to make sure he sees her as a woman of value who respects herself before letting him enter her... And she cannot possibly do that within a day or two of knowing him.

 

(You slept with sexy pic guy, didn't you? )

 

LOL! I did not, just as I said I wouldn't. The cobwebs are still firmly intact. He was a gent, stuck to mineral water. We had a good chat, he left at midnight as he had work today.

 

If a guy really likes a woman, the fact she put out on the first date will not stop him wanting to see here again. He is a hypocrite if he thinks he has more right to put it about than her anyway

[CptSaveAho]

women like this make me want to date farm animals....