Nervous Nervous Nervous I Think This Is It

[thefooloftheyear]

I have learnt a very valuable lesson: just because a guy ACTS 100% like he is into you...

 

It does not mean he really is! haha.

 

Damn though. This guy was the BEST actor. I swear, NO ONE could have guessed he was not very fond of me.

 

I think he must have really liked me, only to have a change of heart during his " two" days apart from me since we have met.

 

People might think I am jumping the gun again with this guy - but I know that if a guy has you on his mind, he will text. Or call.

 

This guy has not all day, so......

 

I had an amazing long weekend with him though!

 

I look forward to being single and coming across a guy like him who is the real deal one of these days.

 

In the meanwhile my FWB will have to do for me. Since I do not want to wait a year or more to cross paths with the right guy, which is, realistically, how long it should take or more.

 

At least my FWB does not hurt me or lie to me or blow me off hahaha!

 

He actually messaged me daily and was very sweet.

 

I think no strings attached fun is the way to go for me from here.

 

I admit, it was a bit of a punch in the guts when this guy ignored me all day /night and therefore showed me that he changed his mind about me when he seemed so sure!

 

But it is not like I am crying or that upset since we only just met lol, I just hate how guys can either act or change their mind so fast!

 

Blaming the guy is pointless...Its not about him, its about you...He likely saw what he was getting into, got cold feet and bailed the fck out before you drove him nuts...Hes not a good actor, hes just sensible.

 

Dont be so dreamy...Its NOT what life is all about...You are acting like a child.

 

I dont mean to be harsh. Do you live at home? DO your parents know of this? Do they talk to you about it?

 

TFY

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, have you ever thought you're really not cut out for this FWB thing?

 

I've not seen anyone post this much about a new bf, let alone a 'FWB'...

 

Either have FWBs and learn to decrease the investment that you put in the guy by 10000%... or hold out for a proper relationship and stop screwing them so early.

 

 

 

 

I use FWB between relationships and dates.

 

I have never been hurt by a FWB before.

 

I thought this guy was into me so I was going to stop with my FWB to see where it went with the new guy I started the thread about.

 

I do not get physical with two guys at once hence why I dropped the FWB.

 

FWB and I still talk daily. We are genuine friends.

[Babolat]

Honey, just because you can't find a guy that is that into you..... it doesn't mean I have anything to be sad or embarrassed about.

 

It might be hard for you to have much faith on men. Given your last to guys and the fact they weren't that into you. Which, by the way I felt bad for you about.

 

Not all guys are bad.

 

When a guy is really into you, be won't care if you fool around on the first night you medt.

 

A guy who is genuinely interested wants to be with you irrespective of too early sex.

 

I'm sorry you haven't experienced a guy that really likes you.

 

I'm pretty sure my guy does quiet like me, so our first date was great.

 

Drop your condescending attitude and work on making yourself more likable.

 

Negatively is unattractive.

 

It is pretty off putting how u assume I should be embarrassed about meeting a guy; even more disgusting is the fact you discount the fact he is that into me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our first date was wonderful. There's absolutely nothing to be sad or embarrassed about.

 

Guy here, that much intimacy on the first date, though it would be fun, sexy, hot and all that, is a turn off me for me for a LTR. My ex gf and I talked about this last night. She was very clear in telling me we would not have sex for a while when we met, even though there was a very intense physical attraction for both of us. It was 5+ weeks, 6-7+ dates. We played a lot in betwen though she made it clear where the line was.

 

Do you want to see if this one is for real? Tell him, no sex, no more petting, not more intimacy other than kissing and touching a little for a few weeks...see if he hangs around. Tell him you want to slow down. If he does, you may have one here. And if he says "No", don't throw yourself at him..let him go.

[Leigh 87]

Blaming the guy is pointless...Its not about him, its about you...He likely saw what he was getting into, got cold feet and bailed the fck out before you drove him nuts...Hes not a good actor, hes just sensible.

 

Dont be so dreamy...Its NOT what life is all about...You are acting like a child.

 

I dont mean to be harsh. Do you live at home? DO your parents know of this? Do they talk to you about it?

 

TFY

 

 

 

 

I am not blaming him?

 

Not sure why he would get cold feet. We texted a simply conversation. There was nothing I said that would put a guy off.

 

We only had a small text convo ONCE between seeing each other.

 

The last time we texted he was still very keen on me.

 

If I wrote the text out you would see that they were harmless. I did not say anything that implied I was falling in love with him or... any crazy crap!

[Leigh 87]

Guy here, that much intimacy on the first date, though it would be fun, sexy, hot and all that, is a turn off me for me for a LTR. My ex gf and I talked about this last night. She was very clear in telling me we would not have sex for a while when we met, even though there was a very intense physical attraction for both of us. It was 5+ weeks, 6-7+ dates. We played a lot in betwen though she made it clear where the line was.

 

Do you want to see if this one is for real? Tell him, no sex, no more petting, not more intimacy other than kissing and touching a little for a few weeks...see if he hangs around. Tell him you want to slow down. If he does, you may have one here. And if he says "No", don't throw yourself at him..let him go.

 

 

 

 

Oh I thought this guy seemed to really enjoy being with me, as a person.

 

I did not get the impression that he would care about refraining from sex.

 

I felt that he was genuinely happy to just get to know me better.

 

However, he has not texted all day or night, and therefore he has changed his mind about me.

 

I will not to get physical or too emotionally full on with the next guy.

[Leigh 87]

Make no mistake...

 

If he DOES contact me tomorrow and say " hey, are we still on for today?"

 

There is absolutely no way I am going to get carried away again. I admit, I fell hard and fast for a guy I did not know well enough.

 

IF he texts, I will tell him that I want to get to know him first before we become physical again.

 

From now on, I definitely want to build trust with a man; even if we have something intense and immediate in our attraction, I now realise I need to actually get to know them before indulging in that attraction in a sexual manner.

[Leigh 87]

And by the way I do not drive guys nuts.

 

I do not blow up their phone. I do not leave crazy messages. I do not allude to being in love with them or .... any crazy sh*t like that!

 

I am not out there and that loud or intense/full on.

 

He obviously either lied to get in my pants but still I could tell he thought I was a cool girl even if this is the truth.

 

Or he realised he did not actually have the strong feelings for me he was claiming to have, and felt uncomfortable with how hard he seemingly thought he fell.

 

I do think he was very into me though but just changed his mind. There was never disinterest there that is for sure.

[Leigh 87]

Taking sex off the table typically doesn't go over too well with men. It sends mixed signals and reeks of manipulation.

 

"Oh I couldn't help myself before - but in order to see if you REALLY like me I'm gonna hold the cookies over your head until you prove yourself."

 

Men can smell this little ploy a mile away.

 

 

 

IF he is still interested and does text tomorrow and does not just fade out/ignore me.

 

Then I will just say look, I think we need to get to know each other first before we start having sex all the time.

 

It seems like a pretty simple thing.

 

He can hire a hooker or pick up at a bar if he wants sex.

[MidwestUSA]

He can hire a hooker or pick up at a bar if he wants sex.

 

Are you sure letting a guy you've gone gaga for hit up hookers is a good idea? I'm getting a déjà vu feeling here.

[letmoc]

Maybe he is a member here. That would scare him off Jesus, this guy must be incredible in bed.

[Babolat]

Oh I thought this guy seemed to really enjoy being with me, as a person.

 

I did not get the impression that he would care about refraining from sex.

 

I felt that he was genuinely happy to just get to know me better.

 

However, he has not texted all day or night, and therefore he has changed his mind about me.

 

I will not to get physical or too emotionally full on with the next guy.

 

His hands were in your pants on the first date/night, you let him touch and play with you....IMHO he "gave" you enough talk to get there.

 

Next time, don't let the man "get there" so fast. It's classy and very attractive to me for a woman to say "No" or give me signals, messages that she is looking for something more real, more long term.

[Babolat]

Make no mistake...

 

I admit, I fell hard and fast for a guy I did not know well enough.

 

 

And hopefully he used protection.....

[Babolat]

IF he is still interested and does text tomorrow and does not just fade out/ignore me.

 

Then I will just say look, I think we need to get to know each other first before we start having sex all the time.

 

It seems like a pretty simple thing.

 

He can hire a hooker or pick up at a bar if he wants sex.

 

I suggest you ignore his text, should he text, for 1-2 days, make him wait, make him wonder...then a simple quick acknowledgement text is all you need to do. Don't make any suggestions or offers..let him do that.

 

I agree with Drsuessgrl too, once he has been in your pants it will be difficult to say "No" now.

[Janesays]

Well.

 

That escalated quickly.

 

[Babolat]

Well.

 

That escalated quickly.

 

 

Yeah, time to go find someone else on here to help!

[Leigh 87]

I admit it was silly to sleep with him so soon.

 

I have just seen couples who were smitten from the start, slept together early on, and are STILL crazy for each other.

 

I am definitely going to wait next time.

[Leigh 87]

I suggest you ignore his text, should he text, for 1-2 days, make him wait, make him wonder...then a simple quick acknowledgement text is all you need to do. Don't make any suggestions or offers..let him do that.

 

I agree with Drsuessgrl too, once he has been in your pants it will be difficult to say "No" now.

 

 

 

I do not want to withhold sex and play games.

 

If he does text me again, acting like usual tomorrow, when we are together again I will just say look, I would like to get to know you more before we have sex every time we meet!

 

I think it is a really simply request and if he truly liked me he would agree it was fine.

 

As for replying a day later?

 

Well, if he wants to see me tomorrow I would say yes. To hang out at the mall.

 

I will just get that he is not the type to text a girl every single day necessarily.

 

I DO think most men DO text every day, to a girl they are THAT nuts about!

 

However, I guess I am willing to see if there are exceptions, and men out there who only like to text to arrange to see their girl and have a conversation while they arrange things.

 

He will either ignore me from now on, text to say " yeah, I don't think it is a good idea to see you again, or he will text tomorrow and ask to see me, and everything will be the was it was last time.

 

If option three happens, I will know that he does not want daily texts and therefore I will not assume he is not interested when he only texts to initiate dates.

 

I will go in with a grain of salt though, as I DO believe a guy who is crazy for you will text every day.

[Treasa]

Honey, you are obsessed with this. Have you gone out with other friends, eaten, slept, etc. lately? There's more to life than trying to figure out this total stranger.

[Leigh 87]

I am not going to talk about him with any of this, if he does contact me again.

 

Which, by the way, I have said nothing creepy to put him off. I only texted back to his texts. He found my texts cute/funny.

 

I would simply agree to see him and after seeing a movie, I would asked to just get dropped home.

 

I would not even have a discussion about anything. He would just notice that we were cuddling and talking and.. not having sex.

 

I would hang out in public and avoid coming over to each others place.

 

At the end of the day I do not now the guy.

 

For all I know, he could be freaked out by how hard he came on and want to take a step back.

 

I have absolutely no idea who he is or how is truly feels.

 

I agree with other posters, how it takes time to build trust.

 

I definitely don't want to just give myself to a guy I have only just met.

 

I feel a little silly, but hey.... I saw my friends find guys who are STILL crazy for them, after first date sex!

 

I guess for ME, I will feel better about myself if I refrain from sex initially. Until I get to know the guy:lmao::lmao:

[Leigh 87]

Honey, you are obsessed with this. Have you gone out with other friends, eaten, slept, etc. lately? There's more to life than trying to figure out this total stranger.

 

 

 

Dude. I attend college. I had dinner with a friend tonight. It is cool lol.

 

I type extremely fast and enjoy talking about my personal life to strangers, since I am new to dating especially.

 

You gotten me wrong. I sleep, eat, exercise, and do this in my spare time for leisure.

 

And my best friend spent every day with her new bf from day one and she naturally though about him a lot and was stupidly happy. I spent every day with this dude so yeah, I did feel like we had something genuine between us and I will be a bit upset if he never contacts me again.

 

By end of tomorrow though I will know that it was a short lived fling, if he does not contact me... and... for whatever reason, he changed his mind about things lol.

 

Ignoring me for one day /night is a red flag but he may reach out tomorrow.

 

If he doesn't, that is all I need to know. And I won't invest more energy thinking about a guy who changed his mind.

 

Even now I have stopped thinking about him, other than when I type to you guys on here.

 

Where as before, when he was showering me with adoration and compliments, I would think of him when he was not around.

[CarrieT]

Oh, please...

 

Leigh, you WILL hear from him again, but it will be at the end of this week - when the weekend approaches -- and he is looking for a booty call.

 

Your mental time frame of expecting to hear from him every day is so unrealistic and why I said you were acting like an 18-year old! You still are!

 

Stop having sex with guys you just meet and give them time to learn about YOU and not your body. See if they stick around then...

[Leigh 87]

Oh, please...

 

Leigh, you WILL hear from him again, but it will be at the end of this week - when the weekend approaches -- and he is looking for a booty call.

 

Your mental time frame of expecting to hear from him every day is so unrealistic and why I said you were acting like an 18-year old! You still are!

 

Stop having sex with guys you just meet and give them time to learn about YOU and not your body. See if they stick around then...

 

 

I disagree that he did not think I had enough substance and a good enough personality to feel I am only worthy of a booty call.

 

 

I believe he liked me enough as a person to genuinely want to be around me for the period he was.

 

He enjoyed me without the sex, but obviously he does not feel strongly ENOUGH.

 

I still think he thought I was a great girl.

[forgetmenot75]

He will call you. Because you are so easy and you believed all the sweet lies he told you. He must be laughing hard right now. When he's horny, he'll call you. But he will call you, if he's not freaked out yet by your awesome personality.

[xxoo]

Leigh, no one can like you for YOU until they actually have a chance to know you. There is so much more to you than you could possibly show in one evening, just as there is so much more to him than you could possibly see in one evening.

 

Sometimes people have great instant chemistry, and after they get to know each other, they remain very interested. At least often, that great instant chemistry burns hot and burns out. You simply can not know if a days old relationship is a winner. You can't. No one can.

[Leigh 87]

Oh, please...

 

Leigh, you WILL hear from him again, but it will be at the end of this week - when the weekend approaches -- and he is looking for a booty call.

 

Your mental time frame of expecting to hear from him every day is so unrealistic and why I said you were acting like an 18-year old! You still are!

 

Stop having sex with guys you just meet and give them time to learn about YOU and not your body. See if they stick around then...

 

 

 

He asked to see me Tuesday, TODAY, but I was busy.

 

So I said I am free Wednesday.

 

He said he'd call me after work.

 

I don't see how that is waiting until the weekend?

 

It is the fact he did not text me, that tells me I am not on his mind when he is not with me. Despite the fact he TOLD me that he thought about kissing me all day (when not with me).

 

Carrie T - I don't think it is nice of you to assume that this guy saw me for sex, and did not think I had anything else to offer him. I have a nice personality and I could TELL that he laughed with me and genuinely liked ME.

 

I actually think he doesn't like calling or texting every day, or it is too early for him to get carried away with daily texting.

 

I definitely think you're wrong when you assume he thought there was NOTHING more to me, and that sex is all I am good for.

 

I am affable and people tend to enjoy talking to me.

 

I seriously doubt he thought " okay. I am sitting down talking to this girl all night. I am pretending to smile constantly and laugh with her because I want her to think I find her funny. I sooooo do not think this girl has anything that special about her but hey I have nothing better to do"

 

I am the sort of women guys who talk tome, tend to take a liking to. I am a cool girl to just talk to.

 

So yeah. At the very worst? He got cold feet due to us starting so strong and fast.

 

He definitely liked me for more than sex, as I have a lot more to me than a vagina.

 

I am not the type of women with a bland personality where guys think they are ONLY good for sex:lmao:

 

I am also shy yet talkative in person, and not as high strung or wound up as I can come across on here.

 

Very worst? He will not talk to me again or just want to be friends.

 

I cannot see him wanting me for just sex, because I have a good personality and I could tell he enjoyed being with me in general.