Nervous Nervous Nervous I Think This Is It

[Leigh 87]

He will call you. Because you are so easy and you believed all the sweet lies he told you. He must be laughing hard right now. When he's horny, he'll call you. But he will call you, if he's not freaked out yet by your awesome personality.

 

 

 

Whatever man. I think I have a great personality and he loved talking to me.

 

I think you're a negative person. You're not very nice really.

 

My friends are all a lot nicer people than you. They don't think men all lie.

 

You seem extremely bitter. I guess you have never had a guy adore you or think you're that great.

 

I don't think he lied. I am definitely a girl guys enjoy to be around.

 

If anything he got freaked out by the speed of things.

 

ALl good I have other options. What about you?

[Star Gazer]

Why would he try texting you when you told him you were busy today?

[MidwestUSA]

I spent every day with this dude so yeah, I did feel like we had something genuine between us and I will be a bit upset if he never contacts me again.

 

"Every day". It was how many days? Enough to know 'this is it', and now (how many days later?) it's over because he didn't text for a day?

 

 

But, he may still contact me.

 

 

But, he may not.

 

 

"I have absolutely no idea who he is or how he really feels". This is the most sensible, and true, statement you've made.

 

 

Doesn't this roller coaster get dizzying?

[Divasu]

Leigh 87, you come across as highly impressionable. People who are highly impressionable are easy to manipulate. Obviously you and this fella both escalated sexy time together reasonably early, but, perhaps it will be helpful for you in the future to learn to distinguish fact from fiction in this type of setting...

[BluEyeL]

My BF of three months skipped one day of texting here and there, I did worry a little when it first happened, but did nothing and he usually texted next day. If he skips one day it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the world. Although, honestly, I don't think this particular relationship has any long term chances, too crash an burn to last.

[Star Gazer]

I believe if you're on his mind, he will not go a day/night without talking to u.

 

I agree with this actually, after sex is involved.

 

But after four days? You're expecting waaaaaay too much.

 

He made you feel sooooo good because he was alllll over you and up in your business, complimenting you and telling you how great you are... And now that he let 24 hours pass since texting you, you're ready to toss the baby out with the bath water. He's of no use to you now, now that he's not working on your validation calendar...

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, no one can like you for YOU until they actually have a chance to know you. There is so much more to you than you could possibly show in one evening, just as there is so much more to him than you could possibly see in one evening.

 

Sometimes people have great instant chemistry, and after they get to know each other, they remain very interested. At least often, that great instant chemistry burns hot and burns out. You simply can not know if a days old relationship is a winner. You can't. No one can.

 

 

My best friend got out of a long relationship and straight in one, albeit she was the DUMPER and knew very well she wanted to end her long term R well before she did.

 

She met a guy at a club and they made out within 5 minutes. She is a very classy girl who has only had two sexual partners; ONE before this new bf of hers.

 

They are STILL smitten!

 

They had sex within week ONE.

 

This guy has not called/texted for a day.

 

Normally I write a guy off due to this, as I think if you're on their mind they will call you or text you every day.

[Leigh 87]

I agree with this actually, after sex is involved.

 

But after four days? You're expecting waaaaaay too much.

 

He made you feel sooooo good because he was alllll over you and up in your business, complimenting you and telling you how great you are... And now that he let 24 hours pass since texting you, you're ready to toss the baby out with the bath water. He's of no use to you now, now that he's not working on your validation calendar...

 

 

 

So you think a guy who is legitimately into me would go a day without contact?

 

I am open to being corrected. I just assumed that if a guy was thinking about you, he'd contact you daily. Not 120000 times a day, but at least a goodnight text or one or two texts here and there...

 

He may just contact me tomorrow after all. Who knows.

 

I have no idea what'll happen. I really enjoyed the high of falling for a person romantically. I can deal with whatever happens. It's just part of dating. I wouldn't date if I could not accept whatever consequences.

[Divasu]

I have no idea what'll happen. I really enjoyed the high of falling for a person romantically. I can deal with whatever happens. It's just part of dating. I wouldn't date if I could not accept whatever consequences.

 

It wasn't a date... It was a ONE NIGHT STAND.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh 87, you come across as highly impressionable. People who are highly impressionable are easy to manipulate. Obviously you and this fella both escalated sexy time together reasonably early, but, perhaps it will be helpful for you in the future to learn to distinguish fact from fiction in this type of setting...

 

 

 

Actually I do not fall for men easily.

 

I have only felt strongly about two in my life. And it was not my ex at first.

 

Look, I get approached a lot, but have only ever fallen immediately for two guys.

 

I happen to think I am the type of women this man would have loved to be around and enjoyed talking to a lot.

 

I do not think he only felt sex in the air and lied about thinking I was an amazing girl. I think I am.

[xxoo]

My best friend got out of a long relationship and straight in one, albeit she was the DUMPER and knew very well she wanted to end her long term R well before she did.

 

She met a guy at a club and they made out within 5 minutes. She is a very classy girl who has only had two sexual partners; ONE before this new bf of hers.

 

They are STILL smitten!

 

They had sex within week ONE.

 

Lucky her!

 

But that was lucky. It is far from fated to be, simply because they connected so quickly.

 

You need to separate anecdote from cause and effect.

[clia]

My best friend got out of a long relationship and straight in one, albeit she was the DUMPER and knew very well she wanted to end her long term R well before she did.

 

She met a guy at a club and they made out within 5 minutes. She is a very classy girl who has only had two sexual partners; ONE before this new bf of hers.

 

They are STILL smitten!

 

They had sex within week ONE.

 

Stop comparing yourself to your friend. You aren't her. Do things like that happen sometimes? Sure. People also win the lottery. People also get hit by lightning. Doesn't mean it is applicable to you or your situation.

 

This guy has not called/texted for a day.

 

Normally I write a guy off due to this, as I think if you're on their mind they will call you or text you every day.

 

I think you are expecting way too much out of a guy who has only known you for five days. Don't forget that he may be sitting there worrying about coming on too strong early on as well. I just do not see this as a red flag in the slightest at this point. I only see that your expectations and need for constant validation are out of control.

 

He told you he would call you after work to discuss your plans for tomorrow. I have every reason to believe at this point that he will do that. Are you really going to write off the guy who you described as "the one" at the beginning of this thread because he didn't text you yesterday? Just go out on a date with him. No hang outs. Let him buy you dinner.

 

I'm seriously getting whiplash from this thread. You seem really ADD about this situation the way you are going back and forth and back and forth.

[forgetmenot75]

Whatever man. I think I have a great personality and he loved talking to me.

 

I think you're a negative person. You're not very nice really.

 

My friends are all a lot nicer people than you. They don't think men all lie.

 

You seem extremely bitter. I guess you have never had a guy adore you or think you're that great.

 

I don't think he lied. I am definitely a girl guys enjoy to be around.

 

If anything he got freaked out by the speed of things.

 

ALl good I have other options. What about you?

Thank you for being thoughtful! I'm fine, healing every day. Not need a man to feel validated.

I'm not desperate right now, but if I'd like to, I could have plenty of options. I'm not an ugly duckling

I'm not negative at all, I said he'll call you.

And I'm sorry you're hurting, I really do.

[Imajerk17]

Seriously Leigh?

 

I think you should ask the mods to close this thread. Everyone already gave their take and you already gave your take back. I don't think it serves anyone to keep discussing it for the time being.

[xxoo]

I do not think he only felt sex in the air and lied about thinking I was an amazing girl. I think I am.

 

Do you think "amazing girl", in a young guy's mind, automatically means "the one"?

 

"Amazing girl" could be "amazing experience....and hoping to meet a lot more amazing girls this year".

[Leigh 87]

It wasn't a date... It was a ONE NIGHT STAND.

 

 

 

No. He liked me and thought I was a great girl.

 

We only made out first night.

 

He spent an entire day with me with NO sexual things.

 

He paid for everything. Movies, meals.

 

He spent one day apart and wanted to see me the next day but I was having dinner with friend and could not see him.

 

I think more highly of myself to think I was just a vagina to him. I know I have substance to me and he liked me as a person a great deal.

[clia]

I do not think he only felt sex in the air and lied about thinking I was an amazing girl. I think I am.

 

Being only interested in sex and thinking you are an amazing girl are not mutually exclusive.

[Star Gazer]

So you think a guy who is legitimately into me would go a day without contact?

 

I think you effed yourself by sleeping with him so quickly.

 

If it was DAY FOUR since you'd MET him (which it is), and you hadn't had sex, you wouldn't be reacting like this. You'd KNOW that going one day without getting a text is not a big deal at all. By getting sex mixed in to the picture, you've escalated your feelings and your expectations. You're not allowing a relationship to unfold naturally as it should.

 

The guy I'm seeing now set up the next TWO dates with me on Sunday. But I didn't hear from him yesterday, and I'm not worried AT ALL. I know he's interested in getting to know be better, and after two dates (in two weeks) that's all I can really ask of ANY guy.

 

Still, I have a very good feeling about him. But even if I was as confident as you WERE about your guy that it is going to work out for the long haul, I wouldn't be putting long-term-BF-behavior expectations on him. Why? Because that's crazy.

[Bluebelle38]

Sorry, what did he say you were? Great or fantastic?

 

That is important.

[Divasu]

Actually I do not fall for men easily.

 

I have only felt strongly about two in my life. And it was not my ex at first.

 

Look, I get approached a lot, but have only ever fallen immediately for two guys.

 

I happen to think I am the type of women this man would have loved to be around and enjoyed talking to a lot.

 

I do not think he only felt sex in the air and lied about thinking I was an amazing girl. I think I am.

 

I'm not saying he purposely lied, he didn't, and I stated as such (ie: you both escalated sexy time together). I'm saying that you are very impressionable based on your interactions and you conjure up these fantasies as a result of those interactions...

[Leigh 87]

Thank you for being thoughtful! I'm fine, healing every day. Not need a man to feel validated.

I'm not desperate right now, but if I'd like to, I could have plenty of options. I'm not an ugly duckling

I'm not negative at all, I said he'll call you.

And I'm sorry you're hurting, I really do.

 

 

 

I couldn't classify myself as "hurting". Hello, I Just got out of an almost 3 year relationship recently. I know true pain from being confused about a guy?

 

I am not an ugly duckling either. Plenty decently hot and friendly dudes to go around for us!

 

And yeah you are negative

 

- you alluded to the fact that you do not think I have a great personality to many people in my real life. Which you obviously have no way of knowing.

 

- you implied this guy saw me as a sex toy and that he did not think I had anything else going for me. Which is ****e, since I have a career plan mapped out, I am altruistic, I talk about most topics and I am interesting and funny.

 

- I think it is a very negative assumption to assume this guy saw nothing more to me besides sex. Without knowing me in real life, you don't have an idea if he saw me as a wonderful girl to get to know.

[forgetmenot75]

I'm not attacking you, you seem delusional.

[Leigh 87]

I think you effed yourself by sleeping with him so quickly.

 

If it was DAY FOUR since you'd MET him (which it is), and you hadn't had sex, you wouldn't be reacting like this. You'd KNOW that going one day without getting a text is not a big deal at all. By getting sex mixed in to the picture, you've escalated your feelings and your expectations. You're not allowing a relationship to unfold naturally as it should.

 

The guy I'm seeing now set up the next TWO dates with me on Sunday. But I didn't hear from him yesterday, and I'm not worried AT ALL. I know he's interested in getting to know be better, and after two dates (in two weeks) that's all I can really ask of ANY guy.

 

Still, I have a very good feeling about him. But even if I was as confident as you WERE about your guy that it is going to work out for the long haul, I wouldn't be putting long-term-BF-behavior expectations on him. Why? Because that's crazy.

 

 

 

 

I get it.

 

I agree actually.

 

I guess I want to do a few things differently next time around.

 

If he calls? I guess I should just be myself but not expect much, but still enjoy the happy feelings one gets from falling for someone?

 

And more than one day without a call is never right lol.

[forgetmenot75]

- you implied this guy saw me as a sex toy and that he did not think I had anything else going for me. Which is ****e, since I have a career plan mapped out, I am altruistic, I talk about most topics and I am interesting and funny.

 

 

 

Of course you are! And awesome, incredible, super, gigantic!!!

[Leigh 87]

I'm not attacking you, you seem delusional.

 

 

 

Nah. I just think this guy and any guy who sleeps with me can see I have substance and have more to offer than sex ya know; I am a nice person to talk to, I am interesting and funny. A very nice girl.

 

You are the delusional one. You assume this guy only saw me as purely a sex object,

 

I think he liked me. And thought I was a pretty darn cool girl.